I am Anastasia Marie Raymond, 31 and freshly divorced. Why? Well, for a number of reasons, such as he's a cheating, lying bastard ( even with my sister on our anniversary). Thus, I've been on the war-path ever since, against anyone I could find to take revenge upon. Until I saw her face...
That is Tina. Okay, so I've been working with her for awhile, yeah, and I never dreamed that I was attracted to women or anything. But, that one moment when I saw her in all her sensual beauty changed everything.
When I was first divorced, I had a rebound relationship with Anderson, which resulted in a threesome with him and Frederico. This was after I discovered my ex had hooked up with that office tramp, Janine. But, that fling with Anderson ended when I had that extreme moment of bliss when I fell for Tina.
Everything I do, everything I have done is to get her attention. I only wish I could have some of her gumption, some of her fighting spirit, but alas I'm a real shrinking violet. Just to try to pretend that I am not, I collect files and files on all the employees in the office, in the event of, well when I can have my moment, stand up, and fight. That'll show them all, and more importantly, that'll get Tina's attention. If only I knew how...
This character blog is based on a character for my upcoming film, Kitty Baby written and directed by Melanie Dahl and Dan McCloy of Wicked Pixie Productions.
Showing posts with label Character work. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Character work. Show all posts
Wednesday, October 21, 2015
Sunday, September 6, 2015
Shakespeare Speaks!
"Love can comment upon every woe."---The Bard
I picture myself as Hero here, shaking my head over my cousin, Beatrice's vain attempts at keeping herself from love. At times, we all do that, trying to rationalize away our feelings in order to protect our hearts from hurt. But, in the end, whether we allow the love in or strive to push it off, the hurt will inflict. The difference is, whether we enjoy the benefits of our love along the way or not. Love hurts but it doesn't have to necessarily end in heartbreak and farewell, but even when in does, trying to keep love away hurts more in the end, for we are left without the fond memories of love's delights.
"By heaven, I love thee better than myself."---The Bard
As in response to the last quote, admitting to yourself and to the one you love reaps an enormous amount of benefit than any possible embarrassment that comes in the process. By being honest with ourselves and our feelings, we deepen our sense of self and strength as well as further develop our connection to those we love. In the end, our overall satisfaction in life deepens to a level we would have never imagined before.
"My bounty is as boundless as the sea, my love is deep; the more I give to thee, the more I have, for both are infinite."---The Bard
Lastly, admitting with an honest intensity the immense depth of your love for your beloved helps to maintain the security of the relationship, for both yourself and for the other. In that security, trust is built, which brings about a depth of intimacy that further develops as the relationship continues.
So, The Bard had some good things to say, he wasn't just speaking prose and flowery language. If we really listen as we read, the powerful truths of life and philosophy can reach out to us across the centuries.
These lines taken from my next production, "Shakespeare's Lovers" directed by Southern Oregon University students, Jonathan Pratt and Ceara Hays.
Friday, September 4, 2015
Confusing Love.
"Give me some counsel."--William Shakespeare
Can one just put themselves in the shoes of Juliet Capulet? That is one of my first jobs as an actress, when I am given any character and begin reading through the script, how can I relate to this character so that her story is true through me?
I've been where Juliet is, we all have after all. In those awkward early stages of love and infatuation in our younger days, trying to sort out who we are, our plans, our goals, amidst the raging hormones of passion and lust. Added to that Juliet's issues with her beloved's family and hers in violent opposition, things would get more than a little murky.
But, Juliet does the right thing here, even if all goes to hell in the end. She does what we all should do, but usually is our last ditch effort.
She asks for counsel, then follows through on the advice of the Friar. So, it didn't end the way they exactly had planned, but she did her part.
So, a lot can be said about Juliet. She is more than just a love-sick, naive teenager; she's savvy enough to not let herself get carried away in the emotional upheaval of young love, be drawn away by the bitterness of family feuds, or act irrationally in any other way (that's her Romeo's job). She thinks things through, seeks guidance, and acts from there.
She's a smart cookie and deserves more than just a passing glance.
"Shakespeare's Lovers" is directed by Southern Oregon University students', Jonathan Pratt and Ceara Hays. It opens October 4th, 8 pm at the Bellview Grange in Ashland, Oregon.
There's a "Hero" in all of us!
"As I may be all-girl, all-woman, that doesn't mean I'm a shrinking violet or lessen my strengths, abilities, need for independence, or free thinking. In fact, its the opposite, it develops the need deeper within.
I have goals and dreams, beyond falling in love with a man and settling down. I don't mind having that but I also want more. Unfortunately, the way my society dictates, my existence as a woman is entirely dependent on being a wife and mother. But, maybe that's why my name is Hero, to be the change this world needs for all women-kind.
A definition of Hero is as follows:
a person who, in the opinion of others, has heroic qualities or has performed a heroic act and is regarded as a model or ideal
However, my world is turned upside down when I actually end up falling in love with Claudio. I try to play it cool but after he leaves for battle, I realize my predicament. I can only think of him, miss him, and realize now fully that part of my destiny is to be aligned with his life.
Upon his safe return, I am ready to stand by his side as wife and life partner, a giant step for a woman with my mindset, who was ready to defy convention and go against the grain of societal forces.
How do I understand this in myself? Well, as I explained to my cousin, Beatrice, its not something I fully understand myself, only that this power of love pulls me toward Claudio. Furthermore, I feel so much that I know him and can trust that he will allow me to further pursue my ambitions and passions."
Hero is a character from the William Shakespeare's, "Much Ado About Nothing", of which scenes are used in my next production, "Shakespeare's Lovers", directed by Southern Oregon University students, Jonathan Pratt and Ceara Hayes. The show opens October 4th, 8 pm at the Bellview Grange in Ashland, Oregon.
Revealing Richard
"And if she did not hate him deadly, she would love him dearly."---Richard III
I am the maid-servant of Lady Anne, named Margaret, her life-long companion, friend, and in many ways a sister. I always hold her best interests in every fashion, romantically, emotionally, and even societally.
Deep down, I feel her anger and depression over losing her beloved husband and sons but also her loneliness and desperation. I know there is a need to maintain her position within the court in whatever way possible.
With that, we both realize that aligning herself, albeit unhappily, with the usurping King Richard is the best way to do this, hoping that in this way we may contribute to his downfall and to bring about revenge.
In my mind, that is the only real reason for this union.
"Shakespeare's Lovers" is a play directed by SOU students, Jonathan Pratt and Ceara Hayes and opens October 4th, 8 pm at the Bellview Grange in Ashland, Oregon.
I am the maid-servant of Lady Anne, named Margaret, her life-long companion, friend, and in many ways a sister. I always hold her best interests in every fashion, romantically, emotionally, and even societally.
Deep down, I feel her anger and depression over losing her beloved husband and sons but also her loneliness and desperation. I know there is a need to maintain her position within the court in whatever way possible.
With that, we both realize that aligning herself, albeit unhappily, with the usurping King Richard is the best way to do this, hoping that in this way we may contribute to his downfall and to bring about revenge.
In my mind, that is the only real reason for this union.
"Shakespeare's Lovers" is a play directed by SOU students, Jonathan Pratt and Ceara Hayes and opens October 4th, 8 pm at the Bellview Grange in Ashland, Oregon.
I'm Just Alice.
"Alice, the servant of Princess Katharine of France, in many ways like an older sister to her. I am wiser, older, and more guarded but because of this and my position very often overlooked. However, because of this, I know how best to wait patiently, to take my time, and watch, in a sense, I am the power behind the throne, at least for Kate, hopefully helping her to make the best decisions for her sake and that of France, even when that means aligning herself with the enemy, England, through an arranged marriage.
In many ways, I am more militaristic than those I serve, even King Henry. I have spent the majority of my life within the family of French royalty so my best interest is to maintain that position however subservient. To ensure this, I also have to maintain their high position at court. In this way, I keep my living situation, comfort, and form of authority.
To be truthful, I also hold great affection for Kate, rather I am in love with her. Because of my position and society, I cannot reveal to her my feelings. So, I watch as she is wooed by others, those who I jealously fear will take her far away from me, leaving me broken-hearted. "
Alice is a character from Henry V, of which I am playing in "Shakespeare's Lovers" directed by SOU students, Jonathan Pratt and Ceara Hayes. The show opens October 4th, 8pm at the Bellview Grange in Ashland, Oregon.
Thursday, September 3, 2015
Juliet & Her Romeo
In order to best connect to Miss Juliet Capulet, aged 14 at the time we meet her in Shakespeare's R&J, I looked back at my own times of young adventures into infatuation and love, that of my time with my former boyfriend and now friend, Will.
"I still remember that walk we took, remember it almost down to the last detail, the night we almost but not quite fell in love, two kids we were, young and fully alive walking the golden path. We were astonishingly innocent of what lay beyond this night, in the days to come, when our love would shatter in the brightness of the sun, the disapproving eye of the world around. Those days beyond when I tried to hide my feelings, my true self from this view, yet held too tightly onto you.
But, for that night alone, forever etched upon my memory, I can walk the path we took, in footstep and in mind. The words we shared are lost in time, however, the emotions we felt are as fresh as they were in that moment felt, the newness and excitement of budding love in all its mystery and grandeur.
At times, I wish I could revisit just to see you look at me once more, to feel your touch like that again, to have your eyes, not so distant, meet mine again.
To be in there with you again, hands clasped in each others, awaiting the longed-for approaching first kiss, like a Juliet and her Romeo we were, ill-fated but not for that night, for then we had forever and always."
This memory is a way to deepen my understanding and appreciation for my upcoming show, "Shakespeare's Lovers" directed by Jonathan Pratt and Ceara Hays. I play many different characters including Juliet. The show date is October 4th, 8 pm at the Bellview Grange in Ashland, Oregon.
"I still remember that walk we took, remember it almost down to the last detail, the night we almost but not quite fell in love, two kids we were, young and fully alive walking the golden path. We were astonishingly innocent of what lay beyond this night, in the days to come, when our love would shatter in the brightness of the sun, the disapproving eye of the world around. Those days beyond when I tried to hide my feelings, my true self from this view, yet held too tightly onto you.
But, for that night alone, forever etched upon my memory, I can walk the path we took, in footstep and in mind. The words we shared are lost in time, however, the emotions we felt are as fresh as they were in that moment felt, the newness and excitement of budding love in all its mystery and grandeur.
At times, I wish I could revisit just to see you look at me once more, to feel your touch like that again, to have your eyes, not so distant, meet mine again.
To be in there with you again, hands clasped in each others, awaiting the longed-for approaching first kiss, like a Juliet and her Romeo we were, ill-fated but not for that night, for then we had forever and always."
This memory is a way to deepen my understanding and appreciation for my upcoming show, "Shakespeare's Lovers" directed by Jonathan Pratt and Ceara Hays. I play many different characters including Juliet. The show date is October 4th, 8 pm at the Bellview Grange in Ashland, Oregon.
Sunday, August 9, 2015
Young Love Lost!
I still remember that walk we took, my lost love, remember it almost down to the last detail. The night we almost but not quite fell in love, two kids we were young walking the golden path, innocent of what lay beyond in the future days to come. In the brightness of the sun, the world's glaring eye, our love would shatter.
In the days previous, I'd tried to restrain from loving you, in the days after, I tried to hide our budding romance, either way I sought approval from those who would never give it freely. In the end, I lost you.
But, oh that night, forever etched in my memory. I can walk the path we took, in footstep and in my mind. The words we shared are slowly fading, lost in the past, but the emotion felt, the newness of young love in all its mystery and grandeur, the overwhelming ecstasy and passion too.
I wish I could revisit just to see you look at me once more, to feel your touch like that again, your eyes not so distant meeting mine without looking away---
To be in that moment again, hands clasped in one anothers, two lovers eagerly awaiting the hopeful approaching kiss, like fair Juliet and her Romeo we were, ill-fated but not for that night alone, for then we had forever and always...
Monday, May 4, 2015
Lessons I Learned From Helga
Day Two
When I first got the part of Helga Ten Dorp, as I tackled both the lines and the dialect, I also turned to a little research of the psychics who went before, from The Amazing Kreskin to none other than Sylvia Browne. In addition, I set out on a discovery to develop my own spiritual skills and understandings through various spiritual books of different beliefs and practices.
First, I learned that psychics and the like are not necessarily demonic, as I had been taught to believe, and in fact, do believe in God and that their gifts come from the above aforementioned. I also learned that even Sylvia Brown herself is not just out for money and fame, but has a real history with her psychic powers and a sense of contributing those for some good. Although I did use a lot of my back story of Helga with the life of Ms. Browne using as a guide her balance of staying true to the authenticity of her gifts as sent from above and for the higher good as well as the old need to make a buck reality.
But ultimately, as I poured through these texts, learned to meditate, and learned new aspects of spiritual diversities, I discovered that spirituality happens along the way and is not merely just a mountain-top experience. If one's eyes are open, and that of the spiritual eyes or even the third eye as some may call it, every little instance of one's day can reveal a fresh understanding of the great beyond, the mystery beyond our existence in this world. As my boyfriend who newly acquired contacts jokingly referred to putting one in his third eye, I have found that is in a sense what we need to do daily, to keep ourselves alert to the messages from above that are always present.
From watching the TV show, Lost Girl, and realizing that at long last I have found my 'lost girl' to seeing that the notion of 'read & release' is truly an act of service (See: read a book and then pass it on) to the similarities of maintaining physical health to one's spiritual health, these and much more are those truths that continually reveal themselves to me daily, as I keep myself open to the world revealing itself before me. With no need to push those views on others, but to trust in the Universe's path for all people and to boldly and brilliantly live my path for all to see.
Yes, its true then, spirituality happens along the way!
When I first got the part of Helga Ten Dorp, as I tackled both the lines and the dialect, I also turned to a little research of the psychics who went before, from The Amazing Kreskin to none other than Sylvia Browne. In addition, I set out on a discovery to develop my own spiritual skills and understandings through various spiritual books of different beliefs and practices.
First, I learned that psychics and the like are not necessarily demonic, as I had been taught to believe, and in fact, do believe in God and that their gifts come from the above aforementioned. I also learned that even Sylvia Brown herself is not just out for money and fame, but has a real history with her psychic powers and a sense of contributing those for some good. Although I did use a lot of my back story of Helga with the life of Ms. Browne using as a guide her balance of staying true to the authenticity of her gifts as sent from above and for the higher good as well as the old need to make a buck reality.
But ultimately, as I poured through these texts, learned to meditate, and learned new aspects of spiritual diversities, I discovered that spirituality happens along the way and is not merely just a mountain-top experience. If one's eyes are open, and that of the spiritual eyes or even the third eye as some may call it, every little instance of one's day can reveal a fresh understanding of the great beyond, the mystery beyond our existence in this world. As my boyfriend who newly acquired contacts jokingly referred to putting one in his third eye, I have found that is in a sense what we need to do daily, to keep ourselves alert to the messages from above that are always present.
From watching the TV show, Lost Girl, and realizing that at long last I have found my 'lost girl' to seeing that the notion of 'read & release' is truly an act of service (See: read a book and then pass it on) to the similarities of maintaining physical health to one's spiritual health, these and much more are those truths that continually reveal themselves to me daily, as I keep myself open to the world revealing itself before me. With no need to push those views on others, but to trust in the Universe's path for all people and to boldly and brilliantly live my path for all to see.
Yes, its true then, spirituality happens along the way!
Sunday, May 3, 2015
Lessons I Learned From Helga
Day One
When I first took the role of Helga Ten Dorp in the play, Death Trap, I was more than a bit daunted. It was to be my first comedic role, and as of yet, I have always had very serious dramatic parts. Furthermore, was trained in college in dramatic pieces. So, the thought of having to make something funny seemed a real challenge, at first.
However, what I learned is that acting, whatever the genre, stays true to the same basic concepts I was taught. Still with comedy as in drama, there is the basic premise of 'being truthful in the imaginative circumstances' of the character's life, her basic needs and intentions, how she goes about obtaining those needs (ie what she is fighting for), as well as how she relates to others' around her in the story. (See: substitutes.)
Furthermore, there is still the need, (at least for me, an actress who goes a little too method at times but not always) to meditate in preparation before entering the stage, visualizing the steps taken before entering the scene, also running through my head are the intentions I am seeking as I enter, as well as the relationships of the characters' I will face in conjunction with who they represent for me, Lia, in real life.
This may sound like a heck of a lot of work, but really its not...at least for me. Just a means for me to quiet my mind before going on and dive into the depths of my creativity and that of the character.
All that to say, it's all there. The same truths and steps that I take when taking on a dramatic character applies here to the comedic. Once I've come to that place, the dialogue, actions, and reasons for it all fall into place naturally.
And, then there is that weird feeling of hearing the audience laugh when I am used to making them think deeply or even cry, at first, having an unnerving effect on my self esteem until I understood...They like me, they really really like me!
Heck, I guess I am naturally a funny person after all.
When I first took the role of Helga Ten Dorp in the play, Death Trap, I was more than a bit daunted. It was to be my first comedic role, and as of yet, I have always had very serious dramatic parts. Furthermore, was trained in college in dramatic pieces. So, the thought of having to make something funny seemed a real challenge, at first.
However, what I learned is that acting, whatever the genre, stays true to the same basic concepts I was taught. Still with comedy as in drama, there is the basic premise of 'being truthful in the imaginative circumstances' of the character's life, her basic needs and intentions, how she goes about obtaining those needs (ie what she is fighting for), as well as how she relates to others' around her in the story. (See: substitutes.)
Furthermore, there is still the need, (at least for me, an actress who goes a little too method at times but not always) to meditate in preparation before entering the stage, visualizing the steps taken before entering the scene, also running through my head are the intentions I am seeking as I enter, as well as the relationships of the characters' I will face in conjunction with who they represent for me, Lia, in real life.
This may sound like a heck of a lot of work, but really its not...at least for me. Just a means for me to quiet my mind before going on and dive into the depths of my creativity and that of the character.
All that to say, it's all there. The same truths and steps that I take when taking on a dramatic character applies here to the comedic. Once I've come to that place, the dialogue, actions, and reasons for it all fall into place naturally.
And, then there is that weird feeling of hearing the audience laugh when I am used to making them think deeply or even cry, at first, having an unnerving effect on my self esteem until I understood...They like me, they really really like me!
Heck, I guess I am naturally a funny person after all.
Friday, February 20, 2015
Embraceable Vagina!
Vagina Diaries Day Twenty-Three
That's right, go ahead and give yourself a big bear hug. You deserve it, why? Because you are alive and breathing and a divine being of the Universe. No other explanation needed!
I've been thinking of late that these entries are focusing too much on the physical aspect of the Vagina and not the emotional aspect of knowing and loving thyself, that which is indefinitely more important than its physical counterpart.
I just did it, wrapped my arms tightly around my chest and squeezed, and found myself not only enjoying the process but unable to let go, my heart swelling to degrees of warmth and love never before felt by myself directed towards myself.
This activity is a new discovery and one of which I hope to partake it at least once, if not more, daily.
I think another aspect of this and one that I feel strongly impressed on me is that of trusting the Divine's work in me to guide me where I need to go, prayerfully asking for strength to not doubt or waver in my determination and faith.
The key thing here is to believe that I am, every part of me, Vagina included, an aspect of the Divine, a Divine creation. And, in that, I am love and deserving of that love.
So, embrace it, Lia! And, embrace yourself!
That's right, go ahead and give yourself a big bear hug. You deserve it, why? Because you are alive and breathing and a divine being of the Universe. No other explanation needed!
I've been thinking of late that these entries are focusing too much on the physical aspect of the Vagina and not the emotional aspect of knowing and loving thyself, that which is indefinitely more important than its physical counterpart.
I just did it, wrapped my arms tightly around my chest and squeezed, and found myself not only enjoying the process but unable to let go, my heart swelling to degrees of warmth and love never before felt by myself directed towards myself.
This activity is a new discovery and one of which I hope to partake it at least once, if not more, daily.
I think another aspect of this and one that I feel strongly impressed on me is that of trusting the Divine's work in me to guide me where I need to go, prayerfully asking for strength to not doubt or waver in my determination and faith.
The key thing here is to believe that I am, every part of me, Vagina included, an aspect of the Divine, a Divine creation. And, in that, I am love and deserving of that love.
So, embrace it, Lia! And, embrace yourself!
Monday, February 16, 2015
Would You Whack It?
Vagina Diaries Day Twenty-Two
My boyfriend and I were flipping through RoKu and an advertisement popped up for a TV show called "Bush-Whacked". I immediately made a joke in reference to President Bush and, well, hopefully you get the gist of it, in case there are secret Government agencies watching my Internet activity. My boyfriend, however, made a pun referencing to whacking "the bush" as in the pubic region, asking me if I would. I reminded him not only of the monologue I am working on but my ever-increasing belief that hair is there for a reason. Whereas I don't see hair in the "down-there" part of the body as cluttered and dirty, I do think grooming and keeping it neatly trimmed is necessary. For example, I do not desire the 1970's bush but nor do I want the modern day 'porn-star' look. Ouch!
But, to each is own and every woman has the right to choose how she'd like her vagina to look. See: Designer Vaginas, the New York Runway look of Fall 2015. So, my question is to you readers,
How do you want your pussy? Trimmed? Bushy? Hairless?
My boyfriend and I were flipping through RoKu and an advertisement popped up for a TV show called "Bush-Whacked". I immediately made a joke in reference to President Bush and, well, hopefully you get the gist of it, in case there are secret Government agencies watching my Internet activity. My boyfriend, however, made a pun referencing to whacking "the bush" as in the pubic region, asking me if I would. I reminded him not only of the monologue I am working on but my ever-increasing belief that hair is there for a reason. Whereas I don't see hair in the "down-there" part of the body as cluttered and dirty, I do think grooming and keeping it neatly trimmed is necessary. For example, I do not desire the 1970's bush but nor do I want the modern day 'porn-star' look. Ouch!
But, to each is own and every woman has the right to choose how she'd like her vagina to look. See: Designer Vaginas, the New York Runway look of Fall 2015. So, my question is to you readers,
How do you want your pussy? Trimmed? Bushy? Hairless?
I hope the above picture, plus my entries over the last few months, do not sway your opinion. So, please answer honestly in the space below, whether or not you want to say "why" is up to you. I'm just curious, plus am hopeful this entry, as well as the ones previous, have got you thinking more about how to love yourself and your beloved 'V'.
Sunday, February 15, 2015
Just As You Are!
Vagina Diaries Day Twenty-One
So, sorry that its been like more than a week since the last entry but still count this as Day Twenty-One, forgiving the time lapse. (I was out of town on vacation through most of that time.)
The day before Valentine's Day, which ironically being the Friday the 13th as to the nature of its detrimental subject, I discovered this article on my facebook feed:
http://www.theonion.com/articles/20000-tons-of-pubic-hair-trimmed-in-preparation-fo,2909/?utm_source=Facebook&utm_medium=SocialMarketing&utm_campaign=LinkPreview:NA:InFocus
With my recent studies and being the focus of one of my monologues, the topic horrified me true to the factor of the date it appeared. Not only because the idea of committing the "act between the sheets hairless" brings up memories of painful chafing, but the idea that one has to alter themselves from their naturally ordained self to please others sexually flies in the face of what I am coming to see as true.
Our vaginas are ourselves, furthermore, our pubic regions, hair and all, are vital to our self-appreciation and worth as human beings. Choosing to remove this for the supposed benefit of another conflicts with your ordained Divine right and true self, in so doing, becoming a great limitation from loving yourself completely.
In addition to this, a dear friend and Vagina Rock-Star shared this article on the backlash of pubic shaving:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/02/06/pubic-hair-grooming-injuries_n_2632907.html
Thanks Katy! Pay special attention to what Dr. Emily Gibson says:
Pubic hair does have a purpose, providing cushion against friction that can cause skin abrasion and injury, protection from bacteria and other unwanted pathogens, and is the visible result of long awaited adolescent hormones, certainly nothing to be ashamed of or embarrassed about.
Furthermore, the first article's last quote by a Donna Spaulding is the one of most importance:
"We all want to look good and feel desirable, but it's important to keep things in perspective," Spaulding said. "In the end, you want people to love your pubic region for what's inside, not just for how it looks."
Truth, Ms. Spaulding! So, all you ladies out there, be proud of your hair, be proud of all of you, for you are wonderful and complete and perfect 'just as you are!'
Southern Oregon University's "Vagina Monologues" opens March 5th in the Rogue River Room and runs through March 6th.
https://www.facebook.com/events/1563122447294253/?ref_dashboard_filter=upcoming
So, sorry that its been like more than a week since the last entry but still count this as Day Twenty-One, forgiving the time lapse. (I was out of town on vacation through most of that time.)
The day before Valentine's Day, which ironically being the Friday the 13th as to the nature of its detrimental subject, I discovered this article on my facebook feed:
http://www.theonion.com/articles/20000-tons-of-pubic-hair-trimmed-in-preparation-fo,2909/?utm_source=Facebook&utm_medium=SocialMarketing&utm_campaign=LinkPreview:NA:InFocus
With my recent studies and being the focus of one of my monologues, the topic horrified me true to the factor of the date it appeared. Not only because the idea of committing the "act between the sheets hairless" brings up memories of painful chafing, but the idea that one has to alter themselves from their naturally ordained self to please others sexually flies in the face of what I am coming to see as true.
Our vaginas are ourselves, furthermore, our pubic regions, hair and all, are vital to our self-appreciation and worth as human beings. Choosing to remove this for the supposed benefit of another conflicts with your ordained Divine right and true self, in so doing, becoming a great limitation from loving yourself completely.
In addition to this, a dear friend and Vagina Rock-Star shared this article on the backlash of pubic shaving:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/02/06/pubic-hair-grooming-injuries_n_2632907.html
Thanks Katy! Pay special attention to what Dr. Emily Gibson says:
Pubic hair does have a purpose, providing cushion against friction that can cause skin abrasion and injury, protection from bacteria and other unwanted pathogens, and is the visible result of long awaited adolescent hormones, certainly nothing to be ashamed of or embarrassed about.
Furthermore, the first article's last quote by a Donna Spaulding is the one of most importance:
"We all want to look good and feel desirable, but it's important to keep things in perspective," Spaulding said. "In the end, you want people to love your pubic region for what's inside, not just for how it looks."
Truth, Ms. Spaulding! So, all you ladies out there, be proud of your hair, be proud of all of you, for you are wonderful and complete and perfect 'just as you are!'
Southern Oregon University's "Vagina Monologues" opens March 5th in the Rogue River Room and runs through March 6th.
https://www.facebook.com/events/1563122447294253/?ref_dashboard_filter=upcoming
Monday, February 2, 2015
Shhh, Acceptance is a Dirty Word!!!
Vagina Diaries Day Twenty
In today's devotional of "One Day My Soul Just Opened Up," the focus was on acceptance, a word I felt that I have some degree of mastery over, until on second thought I realized differently.
I realized that I need to accept the way life is, the way some people treat others as bullies, or what have you, and that it is not my place, regardless of what I would like to do, to try to bring vengeance on these individuals. However, this seems easy to accept when compared to something of deeper significance.
That of my own personal past with abuse and bullies.
Whenever anyone refers to me as my "former name", my insides cringe with the memory of that girl, something that these friends do not truly understand because they did not live inside of me. They do not know that "girl" they knew was the child-like creature who was perpetually seen as helpless and unable to understand herself and make decisions for herself and who because of this was verbally and emotionally, sometimes physically, abused her entire life. It is for that reason I cringe inside when I hear that name. But, it is for the girl they saw, the real me, that I need to heal from those wounds completely. So, I must accept that part of my life, that part of my self.
For that girl that I used to know, who never really got to live, was and is me. I could not have become who I am today, strong, independent, determined, self-loving and self nurturing of my whole being, vagina and all, if not for my past, both good and bad. For in all actuality, there was good if these dear old friends of mine can be found truthful.
For when it comes down to it, the "Julia" they knew is not the "Julia" I knew, but they really saw the "Lia" before I allowed her to be set free. In that way, I honor their presence in my life and my journey towards self-discovery, their love is helping heal the old scars of abuse and their support and acknowledgment of who I am today is the realization that "Lia" was always real to them, even before I allowed her to be.
So, "Acceptance" is a very dirty word, when it comes down to it, when you really allow it to sink into your entire being and readily admit you have to accept all parts of yourself and humanity, in all its beauty and ugliness.
But, once completed, oh how much more peaceful and joyful is life discovered!
In today's devotional of "One Day My Soul Just Opened Up," the focus was on acceptance, a word I felt that I have some degree of mastery over, until on second thought I realized differently.
I realized that I need to accept the way life is, the way some people treat others as bullies, or what have you, and that it is not my place, regardless of what I would like to do, to try to bring vengeance on these individuals. However, this seems easy to accept when compared to something of deeper significance.
That of my own personal past with abuse and bullies.
Whenever anyone refers to me as my "former name", my insides cringe with the memory of that girl, something that these friends do not truly understand because they did not live inside of me. They do not know that "girl" they knew was the child-like creature who was perpetually seen as helpless and unable to understand herself and make decisions for herself and who because of this was verbally and emotionally, sometimes physically, abused her entire life. It is for that reason I cringe inside when I hear that name. But, it is for the girl they saw, the real me, that I need to heal from those wounds completely. So, I must accept that part of my life, that part of my self.
For that girl that I used to know, who never really got to live, was and is me. I could not have become who I am today, strong, independent, determined, self-loving and self nurturing of my whole being, vagina and all, if not for my past, both good and bad. For in all actuality, there was good if these dear old friends of mine can be found truthful.
For when it comes down to it, the "Julia" they knew is not the "Julia" I knew, but they really saw the "Lia" before I allowed her to be set free. In that way, I honor their presence in my life and my journey towards self-discovery, their love is helping heal the old scars of abuse and their support and acknowledgment of who I am today is the realization that "Lia" was always real to them, even before I allowed her to be.
So, "Acceptance" is a very dirty word, when it comes down to it, when you really allow it to sink into your entire being and readily admit you have to accept all parts of yourself and humanity, in all its beauty and ugliness.
But, once completed, oh how much more peaceful and joyful is life discovered!
Thursday, January 29, 2015
When I say Vagina....
Vagina Diaries Day Nineteen
What do you think?
Okay, I hope by now you all get it that my usage of the term "Vagina" doesn't necessarily just mean
our beautiful organ between our legs, that that is merely only a part of this journey we travel together.
No, as I realized once again last night at rehearsal, the "Vagina" in this study represents the desire to be seen as more than just an object, to not be pushed aside by society, or put into a category of weaker or less important. This journey of getting to know and appreciating our Vaginas as more than just the "moist cavity" is that of getting to know our true selves and living that proudly before the world. In turn, helping others to appreciate their true beauty, strength, and power.
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So, when I say, "look at my Vagina", I truly mean to look, study, examine, and to take fully in and appreciation and love of self. To truly develop an innermost depth of knowledge for one's entire being and to live that loudly before the world, in that discovery, finding your true destiny and place in the world, moving forward with renewed purpose and vigor.
Take a long look at yourself in the mirror of your soul; learn to feel comfortable with who you really are and finally to love that person that you see. That is my hope for myself on this study, that daily as I journey into self-knowledge I would emerge at the end fully in love with who I am first and foremost, letting go of all baggage that says otherwise.
What do you think?
Okay, I hope by now you all get it that my usage of the term "Vagina" doesn't necessarily just mean
our beautiful organ between our legs, that that is merely only a part of this journey we travel together.
No, as I realized once again last night at rehearsal, the "Vagina" in this study represents the desire to be seen as more than just an object, to not be pushed aside by society, or put into a category of weaker or less important. This journey of getting to know and appreciating our Vaginas as more than just the "moist cavity" is that of getting to know our true selves and living that proudly before the world. In turn, helping others to appreciate their true beauty, strength, and power.
So, when I say, "look at my Vagina", I truly mean to look, study, examine, and to take fully in and appreciation and love of self. To truly develop an innermost depth of knowledge for one's entire being and to live that loudly before the world, in that discovery, finding your true destiny and place in the world, moving forward with renewed purpose and vigor.
Take a long look at yourself in the mirror of your soul; learn to feel comfortable with who you really are and finally to love that person that you see. That is my hope for myself on this study, that daily as I journey into self-knowledge I would emerge at the end fully in love with who I am first and foremost, letting go of all baggage that says otherwise.
If you haven't donated yet, help my beloved friend, Jackie, discover her own self-worth and learn to love herself!
Monday, January 26, 2015
Wasn't I just talking about this?
Vagina Diaries Day Eighteen
Well, maybe it was a couple days ago, but wasn't I discussing the value and importance of the wonderful pubic hair, as un-glamorous as it may appear yet actually a vital part of the health of the victorious vagina?
Well, maybe it was a couple days ago, but wasn't I discussing the value and importance of the wonderful pubic hair, as un-glamorous as it may appear yet actually a vital part of the health of the victorious vagina?
Someone posted this on facebook and I thought it rather amusing, not only because of the synchronicity of this study, but also because I find it hard to believe that such a bushy pube was ever the fashion. As of today, the allure is that of the hairless variety, mainly in the realm of the porn star or those who aspire to be. Although I do know a few girls who keep themselves hair-less, for the sole purpose of health-related issues, (in-grown hairs being the root cause, yes, pun intended!) But I speak for most women and men, when I say the completely hairless pussy is the least desirable for a plethora of reasons while the neatly trimmed look strongly outweighs the "bush" of the seventies.
One reason being, the chafing that comes about not just when wearing clothes but also when "fooling around". Plus, in general the lack of protection to the "down-there" region when it comes down to it, as my character's monologue in the Vagina Monologues describes in her story of miserable plight.
As she says, hair is the "leaf around the flower", there for protection. Moreover, you cannot love the vagina if you don't love hair.
What, dear reader, do you think? To hair or not to hair?
(I will admit the vajeweled look seems rather appealing, if it can be proved cost-effective.)
Aside note, if you haven't donated yet, here's your chance to help Jackie find out the glories or lack thereof of hair on her brand-stinking new vag of her own. Click the link below!
Saturday, January 24, 2015
My Vagina, The Divine
Vagina Diaries Day Sixteen
I recently started a forty day devotional journey entitled, "One Day My Soul Just Opened Up". (A Side Note: Not being a Catholic or Episcopalian and therefore not familiar with Lent, I somehow end up picking up 40 day devos during this time-period, coincidence?) Even though I'm currently on "Day Two", I already like the language of the writer as she is not only using the feminine gender to identify "GOD" but also using the idea of the "divine within", a concept that flies in the face of my fundamental teaching I so narrowly escaped from but moreover a truth that is bringing such immense freedom and healing to my entire being.
Today's focus was on the viewpoint of Trust, not to trust in the relationships with others but in one's own relationship with God(dess), the divine within, and also that of the divine in others. In that, trusting becomes lasting and something of which we can rely upon to bring fulfillment.
Meditating upon this and thinking about what to write in today's Vagina diary, a facebook friend posted this:
So, with these words fresh in mind coupled with the realization of the trusting the divine within, I started thinking about the nature of my vagina.
Looking at it in recent months, I've often thought of it as unattractive or even non-existent, something I try hard to forget about, usually unsuccessfully. In that, view of ugliness is the realization of that I do not truly understand my vagina. It is not just a mere organ on my body, a moist cavity between my legs, but a living vital aspect of myself, a part of my divinity.
In that, I discover an amazing surge of beauty and strength. It is there that a large degree of my hope and empowerment resides and rests. As I discover this beauty, not only does the health of my vagina flourish (haven't had a yeast infection in many years) but also my health of self, spiritually, emotionally, mentally, and even physically deepens.
So, if you ladies out there still find this part of you dark, dirty, even ugly, I urge you to reflect on my discoveries and spend some time with your vagina, and see what you discover. I hope you find the freedom, healing, and enlightenment I have discovered.
I recently started a forty day devotional journey entitled, "One Day My Soul Just Opened Up". (A Side Note: Not being a Catholic or Episcopalian and therefore not familiar with Lent, I somehow end up picking up 40 day devos during this time-period, coincidence?) Even though I'm currently on "Day Two", I already like the language of the writer as she is not only using the feminine gender to identify "GOD" but also using the idea of the "divine within", a concept that flies in the face of my fundamental teaching I so narrowly escaped from but moreover a truth that is bringing such immense freedom and healing to my entire being.
Today's focus was on the viewpoint of Trust, not to trust in the relationships with others but in one's own relationship with God(dess), the divine within, and also that of the divine in others. In that, trusting becomes lasting and something of which we can rely upon to bring fulfillment.
Meditating upon this and thinking about what to write in today's Vagina diary, a facebook friend posted this:
So, with these words fresh in mind coupled with the realization of the trusting the divine within, I started thinking about the nature of my vagina.
Looking at it in recent months, I've often thought of it as unattractive or even non-existent, something I try hard to forget about, usually unsuccessfully. In that, view of ugliness is the realization of that I do not truly understand my vagina. It is not just a mere organ on my body, a moist cavity between my legs, but a living vital aspect of myself, a part of my divinity.
In that, I discover an amazing surge of beauty and strength. It is there that a large degree of my hope and empowerment resides and rests. As I discover this beauty, not only does the health of my vagina flourish (haven't had a yeast infection in many years) but also my health of self, spiritually, emotionally, mentally, and even physically deepens.
So, if you ladies out there still find this part of you dark, dirty, even ugly, I urge you to reflect on my discoveries and spend some time with your vagina, and see what you discover. I hope you find the freedom, healing, and enlightenment I have discovered.
Spirit of Sandy
Hi! I'm Sandy, married to Max Stevens, yeah the crazy cop, and mother of two growing teenage boys. You can barely imagine I have my hands full with all the male energy running about in my life!
But, for the most part, I'm happy. Well, for the most part.
I was blessed and cursed with an older sister, Sugar, who I loved very deeply but also secretly resented. Despite that, I developed a deep family loyalty to her as well as her to me, as much as she could. My sister, Sugar, beautiful and charismatic as she was, was also deeply troubled and tons of personal issues throughout her life. She died two years earlier, a moment in time I will never forget when a part of my heart was lost forever.
Twenty-four years ago, Sugar divorced her husband, Daric, of only a few years and moved to Los Angeles to pursue her dreams of stardom as a singer, dancer, and performer extraordinaire. Before leaving, she confided in me of her pregnancy and swore me never to tell Daric of this fact. A beautiful, bouncing baby boy, Jimmy, was born nine months later in California, Daric never found out about the truth.
During his childhood, I felt more of a stable mother figure to Jimmy than Sugar whose life-style appeared to be very loose, to put it nicely. When not in school, Jimmy spent most of his life visiting our family in upstate New York and even spent a few years in school with us, before heading off to college.
The best thing about Sugar's parentage was that all her financial wealth and gain went to the care of Jimmy, after her death all of the leftover funds in her will went to providing Jimmy's college tuition...until recently.
The funds have run out...with only a year of his schooling to go before graduation. Frantic to finish but without knowing how to pay the debt, Jimmy turns to drastic measures, selling his pharmaceutical medicines to get by. In order to save him from serious crime, Max and I decide to take matters into our own hands, which means contacting Daric for help as father.
Feeling a bit of remorse over having to do this since I promised my sister he would never find out, I seek desperately for alternatives, finding none. But, just before heading to New York City to speak with Daric, feeling broken-hearted, Sugar visits me from beyond the grave and assures me that I am doing the right thing, even saying that she will help resolve the situation smoothly.
Not knowing what she meant by that, (however used to my sister's enigmatic ways), but feeling comforted, I head to New York City.
To find out what happens, come to the Playwright's Atelier Monday, January 26th at 7 pm at the Ashland Public Library.
Sandy is based on a character from Phil Loveless's play, "Spirit of Sugar." Loveless is a local Southern Oregonian playwright.
But, for the most part, I'm happy. Well, for the most part.
I was blessed and cursed with an older sister, Sugar, who I loved very deeply but also secretly resented. Despite that, I developed a deep family loyalty to her as well as her to me, as much as she could. My sister, Sugar, beautiful and charismatic as she was, was also deeply troubled and tons of personal issues throughout her life. She died two years earlier, a moment in time I will never forget when a part of my heart was lost forever.
Twenty-four years ago, Sugar divorced her husband, Daric, of only a few years and moved to Los Angeles to pursue her dreams of stardom as a singer, dancer, and performer extraordinaire. Before leaving, she confided in me of her pregnancy and swore me never to tell Daric of this fact. A beautiful, bouncing baby boy, Jimmy, was born nine months later in California, Daric never found out about the truth.
During his childhood, I felt more of a stable mother figure to Jimmy than Sugar whose life-style appeared to be very loose, to put it nicely. When not in school, Jimmy spent most of his life visiting our family in upstate New York and even spent a few years in school with us, before heading off to college.
The best thing about Sugar's parentage was that all her financial wealth and gain went to the care of Jimmy, after her death all of the leftover funds in her will went to providing Jimmy's college tuition...until recently.
The funds have run out...with only a year of his schooling to go before graduation. Frantic to finish but without knowing how to pay the debt, Jimmy turns to drastic measures, selling his pharmaceutical medicines to get by. In order to save him from serious crime, Max and I decide to take matters into our own hands, which means contacting Daric for help as father.
Feeling a bit of remorse over having to do this since I promised my sister he would never find out, I seek desperately for alternatives, finding none. But, just before heading to New York City to speak with Daric, feeling broken-hearted, Sugar visits me from beyond the grave and assures me that I am doing the right thing, even saying that she will help resolve the situation smoothly.
Not knowing what she meant by that, (however used to my sister's enigmatic ways), but feeling comforted, I head to New York City.
To find out what happens, come to the Playwright's Atelier Monday, January 26th at 7 pm at the Ashland Public Library.
Sandy is based on a character from Phil Loveless's play, "Spirit of Sugar." Loveless is a local Southern Oregonian playwright.
Friday, January 23, 2015
There's Power in the Pussy!
Vagina Diaries Day Fifteen
Sorry for the delay but I have been a bit under the weather the last two days, am still recovering, from the shivering affects of the flu. Dagnabit! Thus, its been a struggle to string coherent words together to form sentences as I lay shaking underneath the covers waiting for the fever to subside. Today, I am a bit better and able to write something, even if the sense of it is not too clear.
Is it just mere coincidence or a synchronicity but recently on facebook I've noticed a lot of quotes and posts referring to the great V; comments of which are helping me gain insight into this reflective study I am on.
The other day I found an interesting post on facebook of a quote by the Great Betty White. It referred to the weakness of the male anatomy and the strength of it's female counterpart.
After reading the entire book, The Vagina Monologues", written, comprised (originally performed by) Eve Ensler (the actual book, not the script), I can actually understand just what the "pounding" the Vagina does indeed take. Its not just a mere sexual reference either, although that thought did cross my mind, dirty that it is, with delightful glee and longing. But, so much abuse is forced upon women both physically and emotionally, as I am sure in other ways, throughout every society and in every country. Even more than rape, there is the practice of clitoral circumcision, women in some countries such as Afghanistan are forced to hide their bodies or face severe beatings, and so many more emotional disturbances that affects the entire psyche and life of the woman, thus perpetrating itself into the very heart and soul of every women kind, for we all are connected.
And, it is together, we fight. And in that, together we survive.
For coming out of an abusive marriage myself, I have looked around and become acquainted with other woman of similar past situations, all of them seem not only to have a sense of resignation but also one of vast internal strength. Yet, if asked, they wouldn't think of themselves as having strength, but really in just doing what needed to be done at the time. And, in that there is strength.
So, yeah, the vagina takes a beating. As our favorite Golden Girl said,
Sorry for the delay but I have been a bit under the weather the last two days, am still recovering, from the shivering affects of the flu. Dagnabit! Thus, its been a struggle to string coherent words together to form sentences as I lay shaking underneath the covers waiting for the fever to subside. Today, I am a bit better and able to write something, even if the sense of it is not too clear.
Is it just mere coincidence or a synchronicity but recently on facebook I've noticed a lot of quotes and posts referring to the great V; comments of which are helping me gain insight into this reflective study I am on.
The other day I found an interesting post on facebook of a quote by the Great Betty White. It referred to the weakness of the male anatomy and the strength of it's female counterpart.
After reading the entire book, The Vagina Monologues", written, comprised (originally performed by) Eve Ensler (the actual book, not the script), I can actually understand just what the "pounding" the Vagina does indeed take. Its not just a mere sexual reference either, although that thought did cross my mind, dirty that it is, with delightful glee and longing. But, so much abuse is forced upon women both physically and emotionally, as I am sure in other ways, throughout every society and in every country. Even more than rape, there is the practice of clitoral circumcision, women in some countries such as Afghanistan are forced to hide their bodies or face severe beatings, and so many more emotional disturbances that affects the entire psyche and life of the woman, thus perpetrating itself into the very heart and soul of every women kind, for we all are connected.
And, it is together, we fight. And in that, together we survive.
For coming out of an abusive marriage myself, I have looked around and become acquainted with other woman of similar past situations, all of them seem not only to have a sense of resignation but also one of vast internal strength. Yet, if asked, they wouldn't think of themselves as having strength, but really in just doing what needed to be done at the time. And, in that there is strength.
So, yeah, the vagina takes a beating. As our favorite Golden Girl said,
"If you really wanna get tough, grow a vagina!"
Monday, January 19, 2015
The Healing In The Flood.
Vagina Diaries Day Fourteen
We all know of the discomfort during our monthly cycles, some have it worse than others, as is this case with me. I have at times been unable to even move during the onset of the "great burden" of the uterus. I have had a little bit of a reprise in the pain department in recent months, thankfully, barely feeling anything at all and then previous to that months where any kind of pain reliever was unable to soothe the dull screaming ache. But, in whatever regards it comes, there is that amazing relief when the contractions give their final push and the blood releases itself into the pad. Somewhat like that feeling when your heart releases a painful burden, going through the days, weeks, months of struggle like monthly contractions and then that final push and release, then, at last, freedom.
I've been thinking a lot lately about the issue of 'release' because I've been finding myself in that place. I no longer feel the constant strain of loss, the memories of pain and horror from my marriage, the overwhelming fear of what was coming back, no longer seems threatening even in flashback form.
But, recently, I've been feeling that sense of release, that amazing peace that comes from true healing and freedom. In fact, instead of any feeling of loss or suffering, I now feel myself in a state of 'abundance' and 'prosperity', not merely in a financial state (for that's more gradual) but in all other facets of my understanding of self and identity.
For those of my loved ones and acquaintances in places of struggle and pain, hang in there during the time of contraction, it will pass. Then, more than any sort of joy, there will be peace in that moment of final release. And, life will move forward as never before, forever changed and forever made whole.
We all know of the discomfort during our monthly cycles, some have it worse than others, as is this case with me. I have at times been unable to even move during the onset of the "great burden" of the uterus. I have had a little bit of a reprise in the pain department in recent months, thankfully, barely feeling anything at all and then previous to that months where any kind of pain reliever was unable to soothe the dull screaming ache. But, in whatever regards it comes, there is that amazing relief when the contractions give their final push and the blood releases itself into the pad. Somewhat like that feeling when your heart releases a painful burden, going through the days, weeks, months of struggle like monthly contractions and then that final push and release, then, at last, freedom.
I've been thinking a lot lately about the issue of 'release' because I've been finding myself in that place. I no longer feel the constant strain of loss, the memories of pain and horror from my marriage, the overwhelming fear of what was coming back, no longer seems threatening even in flashback form.
But, recently, I've been feeling that sense of release, that amazing peace that comes from true healing and freedom. In fact, instead of any feeling of loss or suffering, I now feel myself in a state of 'abundance' and 'prosperity', not merely in a financial state (for that's more gradual) but in all other facets of my understanding of self and identity.
For those of my loved ones and acquaintances in places of struggle and pain, hang in there during the time of contraction, it will pass. Then, more than any sort of joy, there will be peace in that moment of final release. And, life will move forward as never before, forever changed and forever made whole.
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