Where is Jane?

Hi, Justin here.  I hacked into Jane's account because...thing is, we can't find her. Teresa called me frantically, something about how she couldn't reach Jane and that she needed to tell her not to come, because they found out. I don't know what that is. I called Jane many times, haven't heard yet. Kind of getting worried, because its been a few days.  I received this video text from Jane's mobile:

Video Text From Jane

The thing is, I don't think Jane actually sent it.  I mean, that's her but when I called her back, the number had been disconnected, was out of service...


So,  I am going to go over there, to her flat. See what I find? Maybe she's there and just sleeping or something. Knocking off a good hang-over.  Or has the flu? Maybe she forgot to pay her bill, not like her, but who knows? One can only hope.

The thing is, I really love Jane, I think. She's a good girl and a good mate, fun to be around. But, sometimes, she gets this look in her eyes, like she's missing something...or someone. Like she's not quite complete, like a lost girl.

I don't know, maybe that's why I liked her in the first place. What's that called, a savior mentality?

The point is, I've tried to leave before, but I can't, for some reason. She needs my help...and now more than ever. Think she's getting into deep with all this youtube blogs and stuff. I don't know, what do you think?

All right, got to get over there. I don't mind telling you I'm kind of scared to go...

What does Jane always say, "Peace y'all..."

Justin out.

The Phone Call...

What about the accident?

Hi y'all.

I've been searching the Internet about the metro accident Justin was telling me about, the one that I was in, supposedly. Sounds plausible that I would have been on this train as its the same one I usually take to work, however, I don't remember this particular day.

I always found it strange that this line mysteriously closed down and hasn't run since...well, this happened. But, rather interesting, why haven't they repaired and reopened?

I was curious about this, you know, are they hiding something? The government, or whatever. So, I did some more research. Justin has taught me a thing or two about how to really dig for stuff. He's kind of a conspiracy theory geek, sort of.

As I was looking through one of those off the grid type of websites, I found one detailing a certain strange machine found in the wreckage but then after the workers discovered it, turned it over to the government, a mysterious branch called "Torchwood", nothing was heard of it anymore.

They showed a picture of it, which I can't seem to upload anymore, for some odd reason. It was a rather grainy picture and because of that one would doubt the plausibility, that this may be some sort of made up hoax.

But, then the strange thing is, when I saw this picture, the outside of this "machine", I saw a flash of what it was like on the inside...and then I just had to know more.

So, I have this mate of mine, Teresa, she works for the government, nothing major really, just secretarial. But, gave her a ring anyway, just to see. She said she'd get back to me, in a bit. Look into it, see what she could find out. Just waiting, now.

Well, I'm going to go now, see what else I can find. Perhaps, it will help jog my memory, see what else is there.

Oh, and I've got an appointment with the doctor again today. By the way, he took me off the meds I was on but put me on some new ones and we are just waiting to see.  They make me sort of sleepy.  But...we'll see...

Talk soon, Peace, y'all.

In search of home

On the way over there, Justin was all jokes.  He asked first if a 'car' was all he was good for, my response, 'nearly."  Then, when we drove down the lane towards my parents' house, I noticed my mum's famous rose bushes, how proud she is of those.  Justin said,  "Ha! You said, "bushes!" Oh, such an adult he is!

But later as we were getting out of the car, I commented on how strange it is to come back here, as if coming back to another life, even.  I feel distant as if I'm not really a part of it,  do you know what I mean?

Justin tried to make me feel better by saying that I had moved to the big bad city of London, got a job in a shop, became a 'grown up', (his italics, not mine), and that was why.

But its more than that.  I never know what to say to them, my parents. I don't exactly feel as if I'm at all like them.

Justin, of course, explained that that happens to us all, as we grow up, move on from our childhood home. and that others are just not as vocal about their thoughts on their parents as I am, ie youtube vlogs and all that.

But, its not just my parents, its everything in this life I lead here, on earth, that doesn't make sense. And, do you know, these dreams I've been having, they make sense. A lot of sense. Do you know what I mean?
Maybe someone out there does. I think I found him.

When we got into my old "bedroom", I wasn't sure exactly what to look for but Justin and I started sorting through old childhood memories of Jane.  The girl I'm supposed to be, the girl I was.

I just knew when I found whatever it was I would know, knew without a doubt that it was there.

All those "artifacts" I was going through seemed strange.  Artifacts?  Of my life, supposedly.
Pictures of little Jane playing football, I didn't know I played, or rather have no real memory of that.

As we were going through the boxes, I asked Justin what his take was on all this.  He then brought up something of vast interest to me.  I noted that everything before now seems a complete blank, and then I'm filled with these new thoughts, as if my brain is being pumped with images of a certain life here on earth.

That's when Justin brought up the accident.

The accident, I was stunned.

It must be almost two years ago, March it will be two years exactly,  he said.  He explained that I was making my way home from university there was an accident of sorts on the metro.  I gather I hit my head pretty bad in the collision.  I guess I was in hospital for quite awhile. And that's how we met. Justin was working there at the time, cafeteria duty.  That I can kind of remember, just not why I was there.  I guess that's when you started having these flashbacks.

I remember meeting Justin.  I recall feeling he was safe and nice to talk to, to hang around with.  I also felt that my meeting him, his coming into my life, was somehow planned from before.


And then, there it was.  

(I took this picture, that's Justin's hand.)

 I think I found what I've been looking for.  From my dreams.

The Quest.

A Trance...

Who is The Doctor?

Since meeting with my doctor, I've done some research on the Internet on him and found some rather interesting facts, rather interesting. It does not seem to know or show whereabouts he is from, which is oddly fascinating as I wonder the same about myself, and furthermore it says merely "has traveled extensively" and has "vast knowledge of the workings of the universe".

How? Why?

Also says he spent some time as head of the branch of the government, a military operation called UNIT, I believe. I found that fascinating, really. This mystery doctor appears as if just what I was looking for all along.

I'm looking forward to more of our visits. Really.

Well, after I left the office, Mr. E had texted me again. I agreed to meet with him again, this time by myself. I felt safe, all right. We met at the same place, no recording device so I will just tell you.

He just wanted to warn me that the people surrounding me at present may not be what they seem and to watch my step, as it were.

Not to be too trusting, I think he said.

His information seems to have lined up thus far, as in seems to match with my dreams and overall feeling of self. I'm starting to feel a strange form of kinship with the blonde girl in the picture I showed you and even more with this one:

 She really intrigues me, she's very beautiful, really.

Also, the other pictures of this doctor fellow, he's more and more familiar, somehow. And, I do seem to trust this new mystery doctor at hospital, despite what Mr. E warns.

Well, must get ready for work. At least I still have that.

Peace, y'all.

My visit to see the Doctor.

When I finally made it to his office, he greeted me as such:

"Hello Jane, I'm the doctor."

I was so taken aback, I must admit, I answered something so stupid like:  "The Doctor? I've found you...at last."

He just smiled, a knowing smile, and asked me to make myself comfortable.  We began the session as normal. I tried to record on my mobile but he quickly discovered that and made me shut it off.  I'll do my best to recount the events as best I can here.

I told him all about my dreams and how confusing they are to me, how I feel lost, unsure of who I am, really.  He just listened and nodded the best he can.  It was at that moment that I blurted out:

"So, you ARE the doctor?"

He seemed a bit taken aback by that statement but just asked me to continue. I really had to know, to confirm whether he was indeed the right man for the job, before going on.  He then confirmed in a roundabout fashion that he was, indeed, the doctor.  To which I quickly responded that I would like only to see him from now on, that I had heard so many fantastic things.  This appeared to confuse him momentarily.  I told him of the research I had found on him on the Internet, did not mention Mr. E at this time.

I told him how you have to really dig for information, about the secret documents on all his travels, in your blue box? At the mention of this blue box, he appeared to remember and smiled with fondness what he referred to 'as those times'.

I then told him how I feel at times that my dreams are my way of remembering my travels with him.  As if I too had been to all or most of those places, with him or by myself.  But how its almost as if I could not recall completely or even how or why I felt this way,  that something had blocked my memory, that secret part of myself I could somehow not access.  I then begged him to help me recall and it was just at that moment I noticed something upon his desk, something that brought all my senses and awareness to full alert.

His initials was "J. Smith".  I asked him about this, what the J stood for.  He informed me quickly that it was John.  "John Smith?" I asked.  "The Doctor? John Smith?"  He nodded and smiled, knowingly, I thought.

I then remarked quite pointedly that his moniker was quite similar to mine, only that our last names were spelled a little differently.  He remarked that he had noticed this too.  I asked him what he thought about this and he said he had some...thoughts.

When I asked him questions about his background directly, he stammered as if searching for the answers.  Such as, saying he studied at Oxford, but taking a moment as if to recall the correct name of the University.  How odd!

But when I caught him on this he pointed out yet again that all information about him could be found on the Internet.  Right, then.  Would he help me find the answers I sought?

And, this was the strangest part.  When we were deciding upon our next appointment, he nearly responded with "I'll see you then, R....Jane."  And then a sad look spread across his face.

R? Almost as if he was going to call me a name starting with R.  But more than that, as if he the name he almost mentioned was very very familiar to him, more than Jane and more than anything about him.  R? What could that be? Rose? Ruth?

Any thoughts?

Going to see the Doctor...

Mr. E, can you come over?

So, Justin is upset. Why is he upset?


I am thinking of inviting Mr. E over, which Justin thinks is a terrible idea and when he heard he immediately came over saying that was a bad idea, blah blah blah. But, after last night's dream, I am starting to wonder how I fit into all this, with the pictures and information he gave me the other day.
He thinks that our  Mystery Man, Mr. E, is "putting thoughts in your head, not meant to be there."

But weren't they already there anyway?

I'm like Justin's damsel in distress. My knight in shining armor.

But, I'm really looking for my knight in shining TARDIS. If anyone knows of his whereabouts, let me know.

That's what its called, the blue box in the dream. I looked it up on the Internet and there is information about...the doctor. People who claim they know him and traveled with him.

So...is this true? There is a lot of, you know, weird stuff on the Internet that isn't true.

But, you always want to believe in something good in this world or beyond? Someone who can save us all, make it all better in the end.

Oh no, Justin just said,  "I'm going to call the doctor."

And, my first thought was, "Finally you heard me.  Please do.  I need to get to the bottom of this."

But then I realized the doctor who he was referring to.

More later.

Peace, y'all.

Dream

So, we met.

After we got home, Justin found that we only had the audio from the recording.  So, included is the transcript of the date.

Please respond with your thoughts:

Mr. E:

Jane? Jane Smyth?

Jane:

Yes, um--

Mr. E:

Mr. E, will do. I contacted you.

Jane:

Yes, please sit. You want to get a coffee?

Mr. E:

No, thanks, I never partake.

Jane:

Right.

(sips her coffee)

Mr. E:

(sitting and setting briefcase onto table)

Well, then, let's get to business. You mentioned on your vids a name, a place rather---

Jane:

Gallifrey.

Mr. E:

Shh, shh. Don't want the wrong people to hear you, never know who might be listening.

Jane:

How do you mean?

Mr. E:

I have some information on this, subject.

(He brings out a folder.)

A friend of a friend once traveled with this 'man'.

Jane:

Really?

Mr. E:

Yes, he changes his face quite a bit, but all these different faces are the same man, the one they call "the Doctor".

Jane:

You mean, he is real?

Mr. E:

Allegedly.

Jane:

And, who are these girls?

Mr.E:

Different traveling "companions", as he refers to them. My friend's aunt was one of these. Mel, he called her.

Jane:

How did you come by?

Mr.E:

If you know where to look, you find what you are looking for.

(Jane begins looking through pictures, cautiously, and stops at one, studies it, then puts it down quickly.)

That's interesting.

Jane:

Why?

Mr. E:

Look, I know that you are recording this. Okay if you alter my voice and make sure I'm not being seen. Never know who is watching, never know what might happen. Strange things happen when tied to this "doctor."

Jane:

What things?

Mr. E:

Be on guard, is all I'm saying.

Jane:

May I keep some of these?

Mr. E:

Yes, I have copies, other files. I'll be in contact.

(She gathers files into folder.)

One more thing,

(rising)

This doctor, at times he uses the name John Smith. Seems a bit familiar, does it not? Who are you, Jane Smyth?

(He exits abruptly.)

That's what I am trying to find out. 

Findings from Mr. E.

Hi, y'all.

So, I just uploaded all the photos and information that Mr. E gave me at our meeting the other day. They all look printed off the internet. But still, they have some value. They offer some clue...to my questions. Here, this one has the most intrigue.

This blonde girl, in the picture, I feel like I know her. But how?

There are more, so many more, this doctor with several different faces.  Too many to show, really. This one's quite good looking.

Quite the ladies man, I can imagine, possibly. But, I think he always was...how do I know that? Well, perhaps its just from the pictures, he's always with a girl. Feel like I know her. Sort of.

But not sure how.

This is the man I keep seeing in the dreams....

So, if someone took a photo of him, does that mean he's more than just in my dreams? If then, does that mean I'm not crazy?

I've got to get this sorted.  Any readers have any clue? Any more information to help me figure this out? Who am I, really?

This one, this woman, she seems so...How do I know her? How? So familiar...When I look at her photo, I feel so close to crying yet can't look away...Why? I'm onto something, I feel, at last.

Only In My Dreams

Young Love Lost!

I still remember that walk we took, my lost love, remember it almost down to the last detail.  The night we almost but not quite fell in love, two kids we were young walking the golden path, innocent of what lay beyond in the future days to come.  In the brightness of the sun, the world's glaring eye, our love would shatter.

In the days previous, I'd tried to restrain from loving you, in the days after, I tried to hide our budding romance, either way I sought approval from those who would never give it freely.  In the end, I lost you.

But, oh that night, forever etched in my memory.  I can walk the path we took, in footstep and in my mind.  The words we shared are slowly fading, lost in the past, but the emotion felt, the newness of young love in all its mystery and grandeur, the overwhelming ecstasy and passion too.

I wish I could revisit just to see you look at me once more, to feel your touch like that again, your eyes not so distant meeting mine without looking away---

To be in that moment again, hands clasped in one anothers, two lovers eagerly awaiting the hopeful approaching kiss, like fair Juliet and her Romeo we were, ill-fated but not for that night alone, for then we had forever and always...

One Love