All Is Well 2021 to 2022

 

The ending of a year brings both celebration and an intense pondering, even though in recent years the idea of resolutions are seen more as a mere joke than taken seriously.  For my part, I choose each month to create vision boards with the first one of the year a bit larger than the others.  The reality of it is that the ending of the year is a death, even as I write this out my office window swirls snowflakes falling on ground floor already covered with the cold white, that which was alive is now dormant preparing for the new life to come later in the year.  And so too, within we feel this ending, but such as in all aspects of life, with every ending, a new beginning.  The seasons of nature are also reflected within that of human nature.  

Way back to 2016, many chose to curse a year, waving their fists in the air in anger, even in recent times for me, where it became dark with the pain of losing a loved one felt too intense that I wanted to cry out in anger, I was met with the truth that birth and death, beginning and ending, are a part of life.  In every ending, there is a new beginning.  With the four beloved souls I have lost this year, Charlie Robinson from Night Court, Markie Post from Night Court, my dear childhood friend, Christina, and, of course, Cafe-Girl's queen forever, Catherine "The Rani" Hansen, I feel the message they sent from beyond not to berate a year for their passing, but to celebrate the love we shared together in our season.  With every death, there is a rebirth, for those that have departed as well as for us who see life beyond their passing.  Yet, even though they be absent in body, I feel them with me still, in a stronger, more poignant way, which leaves me to truly believe that 'death is not an ending, but a shift in the relationship.'  A new season of life is starting with the passing of the old.

That being said, I also want to touch on the inner reasoning behind the anger at the pitfalls that have come, seemingly so much, in the last few years.  Yes, so many curse the years and trending on twitter is the "FU" to the year while John Oliver blows it up on TV, and again, with all the tumult both politically, socially, physically, many seek to cling to some form of knowing, yet it is in these ever changing times that we cannot ever truly know, try as we might.  Thus, the fighting emerges with one another over what is correct and what is incorrect, yet there truly is no knowing.  Embrace the blessed uncertainty, my friends, for with this we find the ability to experience life in all its fullness, through the lens of a childlike sense, not getting bogged down by the horrors, but realizing into each season, tears will fall yet joy shall return.  I admit I do fall prey to the worry and anxiety of the heart, feel myself wanting to rail against that which I cannot control, yet I believe we are all here on this planet to transform, evolve, and to help others do so.  

With that meaning, as you travel into 2022, take with you, dear heart, that truly All Is Well: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dS3L2R8ugYI  

All is well that ends well
And in the end I'll be with You I know
All is well that ends well
And so all is well with my soul

Lilly #mentalhealthmatters #bipolarawareness

Lilly Langford is a girl living with Bipolar Type 2, hoping to show the world that one can be successful and thrive while dealing with mental illness.  

Stars Amelia Rose as Lilly

Written & Directed by Lia Elizabeth Rose Dugal

**Content Warning: Adult language, Suicidal Ideation, Self Harm**

Hit the reminder button!  

Journaling Through The Years Episode 26: Beauty Outta Pain

This week I share some entries from the end of my freshmen year dealing with my first ever heartbreak from my first boyfriend. I reflect on how that pain brought about a new appreciation for the beauty in the world, once the tears had dried. I ponder how each heartbreak and tragedy I have experienced has made me more stronger, more resilient, and more capable of seeing beauty, loving deeper, and making a better difference in the world. Dedicated to My Monte Bird!

A Christmas Message From Cafe-Girl, Inc #happyholidays

Journaling Through The Years, Episode 25: Ghost Stories, Summer Love, & ...

In this week's episode, I begin a new journal (back in high school), I begin with my 1994 NY Resolutions, which includes hoping for my first kiss before I turn 16 (spoiler alert: that resolution did happen before 16 but not completely as written), I share some short stories about a weird bunch of friends I met in childhood in my neighborhood...kinda. I close with a dedication to my VC Fam & nothing bad better happen or I'm never ever dedicating another vlog to anyone ever.

Name Changes

 

The dawn of a new year is upon us which always causes a time of reflection mingled with the air of celebratory mirth.  Increasingly this year 2021, I have found myself in a phase of evolution, moving further away from who I once thought I was and what I allowed to impact, including the labels I chose for myself and others deemed appropriate, now looking inward and discovering more truths that need to be revealed at last, no longer hidden.  Thus, the evolution stirs a decision to formally change my identity, not just of the words attached towards me that identify but that of my business, Cafe-Girl Productions, Inc.  

As a child, I had a great love for the show, Night Court, as mentioned many, many times, at length, in a variety of capacity.  Once again, when I was a mere young thing, I wished so intensely that the actor, Harry Anderson, was in fact my father, imagining that my name was Elizabeth.  Not sure why I chose that name as a youngster, it just came to me and I claimed it.  Throughout all of my life, I have returned to Elizabeth, even presently, as I go about my day outwardly as Lia, inwardly I feel what life would be like as if I am her, as if all of my life I lived as her and not in the world I did outwardly.  Its as if I can see everything she did, her childhood home, her friends, each memory is vivid and understood within me, somehow.  Parallel universe, perhaps? Who can tell.  But, what I am starting to understand is that as I begin to heal more, I find myself uniting with her more deeply, so that it's less an escape from reality into safety, but rather we are both one.  Thus, I have decided to adopt her identity within mine by adding the name "Elizabeth" to my moniker.  In a very real sense, I am fully engaging every part of me and bringing to the surface, no longer needing to hide or flee.  

More than the inner need of my heart to be true to myself and my calling, I have discovered the powerful truth of the meaning of names and the vibrations heard linked together to impact my soul's truth more deeply.  I have yet to make the official change, for now, legally I am still "Lia Rose Dugal", but the legality of its fullness will come intime.  For now, the change has been made official on social media alone.  

The next revelation came as a shock to me but when it arrived in its fullness I was surprised that I had not recognised outwardly its need.  Over the last two years, I have discovered and am clearly defining the brand and emphasis of my business and entrepreneural endeavors.  It came upon me as a deep revelation that I always knew within that the focus of my business is that of the thriving artist, rather to help artists of every variety seek and love their thrive.  Working with a business advisor, I have discovered that the "productions" name, once fitting for a film company alone, does not fully encompass all that Cafe-Girl seeks to achieve.  My business partners and I have been tossing ideas back and forth that feel more fitting and have narrowed it down to either "Cafe-Girl Thriving Artists, Inc" or "Cafe-Girl Artists, Inc".  Our brand slogan is simply, "Love Your Thrive" so we were debating whether the usage of "thriving" needs to be within the main name itself.   

So, first I want to be a person and businesswoman that hears and takes into consideration those she works and cares for, honoring their input and seeing its validity.  So, in a sense, we decided upon "Cafe-Girl Artists, Inc", but in my head I kept referring to "Cafe-Girl Thriving Artists, Inc", without any effort it flowed from within and then without.  

Throughout these last two years, I have entered fully into recovery, through private therapy as well as self help books galore.  A large facet of this is in committing to fully love and honor myself, being able to receive love from others without feeling an obligation to give back.  Being free to receive is not selfish as I am still a person that gives and loves freely.  Furthermore, there is a necessity within myself to honor my inner voice.  I have toyed with this, feeling that if I voiced my desire for the "thriving" within the name, I would discredit the input and voice of my business partners.  However, the resounding truth kept echoing within my heart, these are true friends, who love, honor, support, and, above all, truly see me, as I truly love, honor, support, and, above all, see them.  Thus, by me laying out my heart to them on this issue, they will not feel unheard or devalued, but will see the need to continue to assure I am valued by them.  Nothing is set in stone as far as the business name change, nor does it have to be deciding upon in this moment, the appropriate name will make itself known in its perfect time.  

In the synchronicity of the changes of identity for myself and business, I have discovered once again the fullness of knowing and being true to oneself within and allowing that to spill outwards.  That, in fact, is the true pathway towards being a thriving artist.

                                                        Rise

    I won't just survive
Oh, you will see me thrive
Can't write my story
I'm beyond the archetype
I won't just conform
No matter how you shake my core
'Cause my roots, they run deep, oh

Journaling Through The Years, Episode 24: Not Alanis KnockOffs: All 90's...

In today's episode, I discuss how my writing impacted and was influenced by my thought processes. I detail the difference between what it means to be a relationship addict versus the forever propensity I have had towards polyamory, & how I am moving forward in my life in being intentional in my relationships, leaving behind the Disney/Hollywood style of romance. Throughout the video, I highlight different aspects of 90's alternative music, a side note: they are all awesome, not only Alanis Morrisette.

Journaling Through The Years, Episode 23: Don't Blink 182, Fundaze, & F...

Today I start a new journal, yay, no more whale of a time. I reflect once more on the influence of my high school years on Camp, how the reality of being and loving unconditionally someone with whom you just met has shaped my core and my life throughout, I reflect on how my becoming a Fundie (minus the fun) was a tool to shut love out, and note that 23 is the worst age ever, why, because everyone hates you because you are 23. Thanks for watching!

Spirit Guides Ain't What They Seem: Night Court Of Life Lessons, The Final Chapter

Death Is Not The End, But A Shift In The Relationship 

At last, we have reached the final entry, the epilogue as it were, the conclusion of all the lessons wrapped up in neat little paragraphs across the screen.  

In my studies post-fundie world, I have dived deep into a variety of spiritual beliefs and practices out of my own endless curiosity and desire to seek.  One aspect that seems to have found its root within me is the idea of the soul contract, the bond formed before incarnating with other souls we meet or are linked to on this planet.  I say "linked" because I have come to realize that these souls may not be those we know personally in our day to day but nevertheless the bond is fastened and serves a purpose.  

I see the variety of cast of Night Court as those souls who have bonded to mine, whose selves agreed upon a soul contract with mine before we came to this earth, in this time and this place.  That bond formed is solidified in an eternal connection felt while in the here and now, even if not distinctly understandable, and is deepened when one reaches the ever-after.  Thus, the soul upon dying becomes a personal spirit guide.  

That, however strange it may seem, is what I have come to believe and trust within.  It gives much comfort in the time of grieving to be able to move forward in my soul's journey, knowing truly I go not alone and have several acting as guides, teachers, lighting and encouraging my path.  As Mitch Albom expressed in his book, "Tuesdays With Morrie":

   "The Teaching Goes On."

Tuesdays With Morrie Final Scene

That is the grandest of  life lessons given down to me from Night Court, among other souls who I have contracted with and who have become spirit guides now in their ever-after.  That which I am the most grateful for, that in their physical absence, gone they are not from my life and I only need to quiet myself within and listen to truly hear.  They are never far from me, nearer than what once was.

As I finish this last entry, I ask for your thoughts as well as that which you have learned, not from these entries alone, but from Night Court itself or other spirit guides within your own life, be it a TV show or something or someone else.  Perhaps, as I have reached the end of this for now, I will turn to another lesson teacher, (School Is Always In Session at '90210, perhaps?) but for now I rest with the knowledge that I attained my goal of sharing these life lessons and in the sharing I have gleaned ever deeper truths to be told. 

My wish, for you, is that this life becomes all that you want it to
Your dreams stay big, your worries stay small
You never need to carry more than you can hold
And while you're out there getting where you're getting to
I hope you know somebody loves you, and wants the same things too

My Wish

 

Nate & Laura & How They Met Season Two Theme Song Remix #djmichaeljhearne

Check out this cool remix that my good friend, DJ Michael J Hearne made for Nate & Laura & How They Met's season two soundtrack,

"Shine With The Sun".  

Every little thing is gonna be all right: Night Court Of Life Lessons Chapter 15

 

It's Gonna Be Okay

The message of today is to meditate on the special unique power of friendship, real, lasting, pure, and unconditional.  The type of friend that will love you with honesty and authenticity, enjoying the times of mirth and good fortunate, weeping over the hard times, and will bluntly tell you when you've gone off the rails into the danger zone.  The characters' and their arcs throughout the run of Night Court OG reflected that.   From the dawn of the first episode through the final episode, they grew through the years as they got to know each other and experienced the peaks and the pitfalls of life.  They were honest enough to help steer someone back on course if they had gone astray or were acting in anyway out of normalcy or with disregard.  In the times when one fell into despair, they were also there to help rebuild and bring them back.  This often expressed itself in many a form based not just on the storyline but also the character themselves.

As I scan through Night Court's IMDB page, I am awash with many examples showing how the characters' demonstrated true friendship and were there for one another when needed.  However, in the instance of time (and yes I can go all day chatting on NC because it's the best ever), I will only showcase a couple.  First, in season two, episode nineteen, "Married Alive", (a personal favorite), Dan meets, falls in love with, and gets engaged to an 'ugly duckling' rich heiriss.  While his friends' doubt his authenticity when it comes to the upcoming nuptials thinking its merely for financial gain, Dan actually has fallen for this woman because he finds in her someone who he can let down his guard and be real with, proving that there is more nuance to Dan than he allows to be seen.  (That's why I love him so much!)  

Dan Fielding: [snaps his fingers] Poof! I mean just like your magic, Harry. She makes my problems disappear, my anxieties subside. I mean God's in his heaven, all is right with the world, there's nowhere to go but up, look for the silver lining, don't give up the ship! And I'll be damned if that's not what each and every one of us is looking for, and I just happened to find mine, so the best of luck to the rest of you. You know that crazy stuff that we all carry around inside of us? That stuff that eats little holes in your brain and churns at your insides? That stuff that you know you cannot possibly tell another living human being? I can tell her. And she listens, and she understands. She says "It's all right. [long pause]It's all right." And it IS.

In the end, it is his fiance' who backs out of the marriage due to her terror when her father threatens to cut her off, leaving Dan heartbroken.   Outwardly, Dan puts on a brave face, but finding himself alone with the pain, he turns to the one friend present, Harry, calling out to him with, "Harry!" who comforts him in return with "It'll be all right, Dan", leaving together with their arms around each others'  shoulders.

The favor is returned to Harry by Dan in season three, episodes nine and ten, "Wheels Of Justice", Harry becomes downtrodden when he sees himself as a failure to a destitute mother and her son and decides to walk away from his bench.  Defiantly, he decides to live his life as a hustler playing pool in a bar and it's only Dan brave enough to stand up against him and with full authenticity he shames and loves his friend back to where he belongs. 

You Twerp

The point of all of this is to show how more often than not it's our friends that we need more than anyone else in times of despair.  Our friends to come around us and build us up with that simple "It'll be all right".  

About a week ago, I lost a good friend from high school from Covid19.  Growing up, I went to a very small and rural school district wherein most of my class knew each other from preschool onwards through high school.  So, the loss of my friend is akin to losing a beloved family member because my classmates and I are a family, even if time and distance has come between.  That weekend I found myself in a place of feeling stymied, unable to really focus, feeling numb and in shock with the absence of her presence in my life.  Sunday morning I went out to my garden to do some winter cleaning and picking of the last fruits of my labor.  The sky was blue and the sun was bright, not too cold yet not too warm.  I stood up from my chores and felt the warmth of the sunlight beaming down upon me and was overcome with this feeling of warmth.  I felt my friend's spirit hug me from within and felt her expressing comfort as she would with: 

"It's gonna be okay, I love you, and thank you."

I will not say that I am completely over my grief, but that moment of comfort where I felt her with me has strengthened my resolve and ability to move forward.  A friend may not pass onward to whatever comes next to be that source of comfort and reprieve, in fact, my sole desire in life is to be present for those dear to me before fading away and to never fail to express verbally and nonverbally how much I love, for its in that that is truly known that:

 "Every little thing is gonna be all right."

Rise up this mornin',
Smiled with the risin' sun,
Three little birds
Pitch by my doorstep
Singin' sweet songs
Of melodies pure and true,
Sayin', "This is my message to you-ou-ou:"
Singin': "Don't worry about a thing, worry about a thing, oh!
Every little thing gonna be all right. Don't worry!"
Singin': "Don't worry about a thing" - I won't worry!
"'Cause every little thing gonna be all right."

Every Little Thing Is Gonna Be All Right

Mistakes Life's Greatest Teachers: Night Court Of Life Lessons Chapter Fourteen

 

Mistakes Life's Greatest Teachers

If your friends are meant to be there for you no matter what, through thick and thin, then the myriad of faces that tread across the courtroom floor of the original Night Court are just that, friends to the end throughout the good and the bad.  The choices of each character brought about amusing storylines but also went deeper than that to reveal the true power of unconditional and nonjugmental acceptance of another and the support that involves in developing one's personal confidence and self worth.  Of this, I can attest to as I continue forward in my soul's evolution recognizing the value of healthy relation and that that isn't.  

These characters had their fair share of honest and not so fair choices that led to mistakes, however, this helped further the growth of their development into a truly better soul.  These include Bull's rapid decision to quit his job as bailiff to take up work as a professional wrestler, a myriad of Dan's quick get ahead decisions or one night stands, Harry's reaction to being called a "Pig" which led him to walk away from the bench, and Christina or Billie's naive decision to stand up for what they believed was right for the clients even if it flew in the face of the law.  In each decision made, they were led down the winding pathway until the destruction, leading them to face themselves and own their mistakes.  With each step, their friends and colleagues followed them throughout, finding themselves both amused by the antics that were caused by the choices made while also expressing concern towards their loved one.  In the end, it was these loved ones that gently (or sometimes not so) helped their friend dust themselves, return to their feet, and continue forward, albeit a bit abashed but not worse for the wear, in fact, better because of the circumstances. 

In a very real sense, the mistakes made were the greatest of teachers that taught the lessons needed to shape the soul into its truest and highest self.  Such is the same with us, as we stumble through this life, sometimes faltering with our choices and finding a door slamming in our faces, we need not bemoan ourselves for our mistakes or hearing that resounding "No" echoing within our soul weakening our self worth, but rather see these deadends as not our demise but an opportunity to turn, reflecting within, and begin again.  

Stephanie Powers, the host of the podcast, "Lightworkers Lounge" famously shares that 'failures are not endings, but opportunities for new beginnings' (paraphrase). 

You take me to another space in time
You take me to a higher place
So I'm, I'm about to get out of the race
I don't mind
You ought to know that everything's nothing if I don't have you

A Higher Place

Find out more about Stephanie Powers & L ightworkers Lounger at: Lightworkers Lounge

Journaling Through The Years, Episode 22: Life Full Of Love

This week I start out by talking about my dear friend, Christina, who recently passed & whose memory this vlog is dedicated, I share a very erotic & sensual poem, & then some insightful quotes about life & love.

Message from beyond. #christina #geyserville #97rulesforever

When I lose someone close to me, or someone who I valued highly, my grieving process is filled with such deep insights & words from beyond,

as if these beloved souls are lingering & loving me.  There will probably be a few of these in the next several days.

For my class of 97, I am no longer running from you, but running towards you before you fade from me.

Journaling Through The Years Episode 21: Yearbook Questions, My BIG c...

In this episode, I begin by reading the news for the school news-show where I was anchor. Hope to see you all at the rally! Then, I read some questions I asked other students for Yearbook, the answers were hilarious which launches me down memory lane into my high school adventures to the big city of Santa Rosa, California, dining every weekend at Chevys! Such fun! I reflect on a girl who inspired me to own my truth and walk my path in integrity. This episode dedicated to the best class ever, my class of 97, the fam!

When I recorded this, I had no idea that one of my beloved classmates had gone into the hospital due to Covid19 and would pass away early Saturday morning, 11/20/21. During the filming of this, I am full of joy with the memories of high school and thus dedicated it to my high school class, yet I would like to go a little further and say that it is for my beloved Christina. FanGirlHour: https://anchor.fm/fangirling The Thriving Artist: www.artistthriving.blogspot.com How We Thrive playlist: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLGOU8yQsa5REcAht7h4nhop-N-S6DPwRu

How We Thrive: William Coyne

In this episode, I spend time with actor and writer, William Coyne, who shares his artist journey, what he has learned along the way, and how he has grown. He shares advice for other artists and what he feels is a real thriving artist.

What Friends Are For: Night Court Of Life Lessons Chapter Thirteen

 

Good friends stick by your side through life's journey, calling you out when you go astray, lifting you up in times of heartache, and cheering you on when the glorious finished line is achieved with true heartfelt satisfaction

Oh, the power of friendship!  What can be said about the notion of good, solid friendship?  How can it be defined and explained in mere words what is felt within?

Friendship, merely platonic, is somehow seen as less important than other connections, be they romantic or familial, yet the import of a good friend is so necessary for one's soul's evolution.  A good friend straightens your tie or your skirt before you head into a big meeting, cheers you on when you glance back for encouragement, loves you no matter what may come, and sees value in you even when your exterior choices seems so undesirable.

Looking at the Dan Fielding character of it all, his sex-crazed, seemingly narcissistic ploys for power, one wonders why his colleagues maintained any sort of connection outside of the necessary work relationship, but thus they did.  Because underneath it all, as we have seen and continue to see revealed throughout the series, Dan Fielding bore a heart of good and fierce loyalty to do what's right, even if it meant sacrificing his own desires at times.  Thus, there was always a limit to his perceived slimy drives and usually were reached when his actions would cause harm to another.  His friends saw that happen time after time and thus were patient during each new undertaking because they knew the power of good would win the day overall.

Dan was not the only character that saw the power of good friendship given to him.  Each character felt the longlasting effect of being apart of Judge Stone's courtroom, including Stone himself.  (Just as each actor (and most likely the crew) felt the longlasting effect of being cast in Night Court, including Anderson himself.) Whether it be, patiently waiting for Dan to grasp the moral choice in his graspings, whether it be Christine's giving birth in an elevator, endlessly attempting to educate Bull on what a sex change was yet to no avail, or endearing the myriad of Harry's magic tricks again and again, true friendship stayed and saw through the person's exterior, time and time again. 

Thus, they grew to one another as a whole, recognizing that each is full of nuance, not merely good or bad, and each capable of ever evolving into something better.  From this, we can conjecture that good friends stick by your side through life's journey, calling you out when you go astray, lifting you up in times of heartache, and cheering you on when the glorious finished line is achieved with true heartfelt satisfaction.

That's What Friends Are For

We're your friends

We're your friends

We're your friends to the bitter end

When you're alone

Who comes around

To pluck you up

When you are down

And when you're outside, looking in

Who's there to open the door?

That's what friends are for!

For more of chapters about the power of friendship within Night Court, check out Wisdom From Night Court , Life Is Short; Hug A Friend, and Family Is Thicker Than Blood

Family Is Thicker Than Blood: Night Court Of Life Lessons Chapter Twelve

 

Thicker Than Blood

With the Thanksgiving holiday just around the corner, the notion of family and togetherness is near on our minds.  Per tradition in the States United based on social historical norms, many will travel near or far to be with their loved ones, mostly that of the family connection they were raised.  But, many others will find themselves alone or will find themselves having the friends-giving type of meal, whatever the means, my deepest desire is that one spends the time meditating on the notion of gratitude in their lives, as all too often this is lost in the hustle and bustle of the holiday event.

As I look at the photo above, I am reminded of the familial bond the characters reflected in the way they were portrayed by the actors and thus detailed by the writers.  It showcases the deep love that each of the characters have for each other that goes beyond the circumstance or the superficial personality trait.  No matter how they may annoy one another or even how used to each other they become, they have grown accustomed to the ways of eachother and in that they find deep comfort.  (Settle down with the inuendos, Dan.)

As I was scouring the google inter-waves, I was hoping to find a nice, almost posed, photo of the characters sitting in their now infamous cafeteria table,  however, only this one was found.  But, as I sat with it, I realized how much more I appreciate the fluidity and candidness of it rather than something that would be more posed.  The characters, and thus the actors, are so comfortable with each other.  It's almost as if  we, the viewer, have been dropped down into a moment of time onto this moment of normalcy that lends itself to the reality of deep affection within the relationship day to day circumstance.  

So, that is the reason I love this image more than something more posed, it reflects that familial bond that is deeper than any tie, that no matter the separation, be it distance, time, or even death, can never truly separate.

Chosen Family

Settle down, put your bags down

(Ooh) You're alright now

We don't need to be related to relate

We don't need to share genes or a surname

You are, you are

My chosen, chosen family

So what if we don't look the same?

We been going through the same thing

Yeah, you are, you are

My chosen, chosen family

Hand me a pen and I'll rewrite the pain

When you're ready, we'll turn the page together

Open a bottle, it's time we celebrate

Who you were, who you are

We're one and the same, yeah, yeah

Journaling Through The Years Episode 20: Bad Boyfriend & Ex-Best Friend...

Episode 20: Trigger Content Warning-depression/mental illness/foul language In this episode, I read 'unsent letters' to my second boyfriend, who tragically broke my heart and dated my best friend...an hour after we got together! I really show the origins of my relationship addictions and codependency, taking the blame for everything that happened, their mal-treatment of me, plus my having a depressive breakdown. (Also, I show how much of a Brenda Walsh I really am because of this personal history!) If you or someone you know are struggling with mental health issues, please go to: www.nami.org

Magic Is Real: Night Court Of Life Lessons Chapter Eleven

 

There are certain individuals that you come across in life that show you how real magic is and the above human was that embodiment.  Yes, he was a practicing magician, but the magic within was larger than any trick he performed.  That smile spread across his face was an ever present reflection in his eyes, the true joy and zest for life came about with the sheer gratitude of being alive.  Although he has left us in the physical, that magical spirit remains and continues to touch so many, reminding us that magic is real, hope is alive, and love the true solution.

I wish I could have met him while he resided on this planet.  It is bizarre to me now as I collect history on him how much he and I danced about each other, just missing each other, coming so close but never reaching.  A good friend got to meet him in his shop in New Orleans and chat with him a bit, for starters, but the biggest realization of this almost yet eternal connection is the little town of which I call home, Ashland, Oregon.  I don't know why it took me ever so long to realize truly, even after many told me, how much he was at one point invested here, how many can recall his days here.  It's almost as if when they told me I didn't want to imagine that he was ever that close, that I wasn't really meant to be close to him...not like he was and is some form of diety, not at all, but more from my belief I was unworthy of closeness with anyone.

But, now some three years after his passing, I sit typing in this town that he once walked and I feel him so close to me, like never before, and truly I begin to understand that I am worthy of love and connection, of all that is given to me by the universe and my dear loved ones, and more than that, that I, too, carry within that spark of magic, an unquenchable desire to shed joy and gratitude about through authentic storytelling and performing.

The finest lesson any 'father' could endow is to:

 Embrace the magic of each moment and to always take life less seriously.

That's All

I can only give you love that lasts forever
And a promise to be near each time you call
And the only heart I own
For you and you alone
That's all

This Town, Niall Horan Cover

They Can't All Be Gems: Night Court Of Life Lessons Chapter Ten

They Can't All Be Gems

Okay, I'm gonna admit something that isn't all that easy to say  for me; Night Court may have had some moments that were less than perfect, that is all I will allow.  Yes, the best TV show of all times has left me shaking my head at times.

So, I have been re-watching the show through Amazon with as many episodes as they have per season and have now reached season three.  Already, I have mourned the loss of Selma, once more, some thirty odd years later after her death, as I watched an episode that aired just days before she passed.  They must have known, she was probably already in hospice with death close to approaching, can you imagine that they had to go out and act while knowing that?   In addition, I have fallen hard over Ellen Foley as Billie Young only to watch her magically disappear as Markie Post re-emerged as Christine Sullivan, bittersweet all around, because as much as I love Markie as Christine, I equally adored Ellen as Billie.  Couldn't we have found someway to have both?  But, alas, the past is past and when all is said in done, at least in the reruns, we can have them both.

Anyway, I digress....I digress so hard because I gulp to explain my thoughts.   This is hard to admit, that the TV show that has brought me such joy, peace, and healing had moments that were less than par, or at least, left me scratching my head wondering why...

Yet, even in that, a valuable lesson is shown to me through these minor, and I mean MINOR, imperfections.  

So, the first episode, I want to hold up as less than ideal is from season two, episode six entitled, "Bull Gets A Kid" in which Bull Shannon becomes a surrogate father to a child, like a "Big Brother" type thing.  The kid appears and plays off as if to be a boy, complete with short, cropped hair and boyish clothes, and Bull is over the moon with the connection.  Yet, when this child needs to use the bathroom, the truth is revealed...he is really a she and she masqueraded as a boy because boys are the majority picked for the program of surrogate fathers.  Bull is devastated with the news, acting as if majorly betrayed and acting as if he cannot relate to the child as a girl.  

Now, I know this was the eighties, just a mere thirty years outside of the fifties, and that the notion of gender was more strict and restricted than is today, but I still found an issue with this.  As a child, I don't recall having such issue, yes, but still I may not have actually seen this episode back then or just may not have fully understood ( I was a kid after all).  What bothered me was Bull's acting with such betrayal and horror at being mislead, at treating her as if she was somehow different because of her gender, as if nothing they had shared mattered, even to dejectedly hand her the football he purchased saying, "maybe you can make it a doll", wait, a girl cannot toss around a football, Bull? Later, he finally makes up with her and they continue their father/daughter type connection with her showing up in a dress and them heading off to the opera...so, why does the activity have to change?  

In very truth, some seasons later this show would challenge the notion of sexuality and gender in a way that was un-seen anywhere else back then, such as when Dan Fieldings high school jock buddy shows up as a woman, but still this episode, "Bull gets a kid" did not sit well with me.   For even though I am full cis-gender chic, I believe that that doesn't stop me from enjoying activities and indulging in arenas that may seem more male and believe that all should have this luxury, no matter how they identify.  

Yet, this will not stop me from calling Night Court the best TV show,  well basically, my favorite TV show of all time.

Next, the other night, I watched season three, episode five, "Halloween, Too", in which Harry falls hard for a woman who ends up being a practicing witch, of which he finds out after she is arrested and brought before him for disrupting the peace because of a ritual in Central Park.  Okay, the issue with her being a witch is not the issue, it's how they decided to follow through with the story, which I find as more lazy than discriminatory towards any form of religion.  

Through the interactions between Harry and his other colleagues, it is made known that the relationship between him and his witch girlfriend would cause a major scandal and possibly affect the ability for him to keep his job.  I was confused by this but wanted to offer the benefit of the doubt, it was the eighties, this could have been normal, right? My partner, a man in his sixties, shook his head no, not even in the eighties.  

So, am I pissed at Night Court for some kind of weird alternative religious discrimination?  No, I'm not pissed at all in fact, but kinda relieved.  See, I feel that this story line specifically was kinda lazy on behalf of the writers.  It would appear as if because Harry couldn't maintain this relationship past this episode they had to find a way to end it, break his heart because I guess they enjoyed hurting the poor guy (them bastards), and, hey, it's a Halloween episode so why not make her a witch and...yeah, lazy writing.***

But, no, I'm not pissed.  Like, I said, I'm relieved.  Because as a creator myself, in so many ways influenced by Night Court itself, it's a relief to see that the show that was and is my foundation didn't always knock it out of the ballpark and, you know, that's okay.  

So, I take that to heart when what I create and put out in the world doesn't make the hugest of splashes or brings about some criticism, all the greats have their moments, right, they can't all be gems. 

No matter, keep creating, keep following the path.

And I won't let you get me down

I'll keep gettin' up when I hit the ground

Oh, never give up, no, never give up no, no, oh

I won't let you get me down

I'll keep gettin' up when I hit the ground

Oh, never give up, no, never give up no, no, oh

I'll find my way, find my way home, oh, oh, oh

I'll find my way, find my way home, oh, oh, oh

I'll find my way, find my way home, oh, oh, oh

I'll find my way, find my way home, oh, oh, oh

Never Give Up

***Watching the show today, I never realized how often Harry was a dude checking out a girl or trying to date her, I must have overlooked that as a child, and I'll admit as someone who admired him as an ideal father figure, this is kinda awkward for me.  

We Are All Connected; Soul Contracts: Night Court Of Life Lessons Chapter Nine

 

We Are All Connected; Soul Contracts

Over the last several years, I have been deep diving into all variety of spiritual and philosophical text for my  personal desire deep within to learn, to understand.  Of those texts, I have come upon the belief of soul contracts, which is the notion that before we incarnate into our lifetimes, we make agreements with ourselves and others about the purpose we will be on the planet within and without.  Furthermore, the relationships we form have been bonded by a contract before our time began.  

Okay, I know that sounds very woo but for me it bears further study as it affords me a degree of comfort within which infuses a sense of peace for all of my life's doings and interactions, positive and negative.  Thus, I believe that all that I have done and all who I have met, I established a contract with each before incarnating here and these connections serve as lessons to help our soul's evolution.  Many who share this belief see it as a contract with those within our inner circle, such as family of origin, school friends, or work colleagues.

Bear with me now, I believe that one could take this belief further and state that others that have affected us on a deeply profound level however the connection have made a soul contract with us.   For me, above, the cast of Night Court (of all seasons) shares this distinction, nor do I think myself alone the sole proprietor of such contract.  In the last several months, I have had the opportunity to witness as many share their heartfelt connection with Night Court, from one who was inspired to become an actress to another who felt a strong connection to Richard Moll as ideal father and a myriad of others in between.  Thus, if nothing else the contracts agreed upon with the cast of Night Court fulfilled the purpose of uniting myself and these fellow Night Court fan souls together.

Now, I don't mean to say that it's just this show of which holds a special spiritual connection. My podcast, FanGirlHour, holds space for all people to share their special connection with their fave fandom and how it personally has made a difference in their life.  However, this blog series is detailing the lessons gleaned from Night Court, so thus the focus is with those soul contracts therein.

The moment that each castmember signed their actor contract with the network for their run on Night Court, so to the contract agreed upon before coming down to earth found its fulfillment and eventual fruition.  That isn't to say that Night Court alone was their one contract made before incarnation, of course not, but that agreement was not made for me or with me so it bears no real significance upon me.

However, as mentioned above, the amount of souls I have come across recently who, like myself, have been deeply and profoundly touched, impacted by these particular souls, these actors, who brought us joy, taught us the lessons of life through TV storytelling, and who broke our hearts as we mourn their passing.  These individuals' have shaped our innermost world and influenced our lives with such degree.

Perhaps, it may be more comfortable to refer to it in other terms, such as parasocial relationships:

Parasocial relationships are one-sided relationships, where one person extends emotional energy, interest and time, and the other party, the persona, is completely unaware of the other's existence.

Whatever your belief, whatever wordings used, I believe similar lessons are reached.  For my part, personally, I choose to dwell with the belief of soul contracts with all those who have impacted one's life, as that seems so much more meaningful and deeply impactual on a grander level beyond this lifetime.  

However, either way you shake it, it is completely healthy, normal, and above all, a part of the human condition to make such an agreement and connection.  Let none say otherwise.

For all souls on this earth from every moment, every time have their purpose and all are connected.

The Rainbow Connection

What's so amazing
That keeps us star gazing
And what do we think we might see
Someday we'll find it
That Rainbow Connection
The lovers the dreamers and me
All of us under its spell
We know that it's probably magic

Dreams Don't Just Happen: Night Court Of Life Lessons Chapter Eight

Hard Work Pays Off, Just Ask Dan

Say what you want about him, love him or hate him or even both, Dan Fielding is a hard worker, diligently doing what he has to elevate his position.  Along the way, it may appear as if his soul has been lost but it's only momentarily mired in the mud of the endless pursuit, for when it is necessary, once again it emerges prevailing doing what's right.

As we learn throughout the seasons, Dan is a self-made man, building himself by his own blood, sweat, and tears having literally come up from being dirt poor.  That's right, his father was a dirt farmer, who never could really amount to anything or get anything growing on his property.  However, unsuccessful his parents were at running a farm, they were successful at child-rearing because they gave all they had to help start Dan out, from there every gain he has received has been with every effort of his own.  Yet, with such focus he found great success and gain.

It's an old trope, "hard work pays off" especially in western cultures, that of hard work is rewarded and laziness is considered a weakness leading to failure.  "You never fail if you just try", another quips.  Furthermore, dreams don't come true merely by imagining, but those imaginings are what propel us ever forward to take each step necessary to reach our ambitions.  At times, the road seems fraught with peril and we are want to throw in the towel, feeling as if no end is in sight to reach our desired destinations.

Currently, I find myself in that frame of mind, having sat here at this computer, working steadily on various content projects feeling as if I can never quite move forward far enough, yet at the same time that my intentions seem not so far off simultanously it feels as if they keep moving just a little bit farther the closer I get to it.  Maddeningly at times, truly.  

Yet, as I write this, hilariously I am finding strength by looking at the character of Dan Fielding, who came up from dirt and pulled himself by his own bootstraps to pursue his career ambitions.  So, too, I could look at John Larroquette, the man who has inspired my acting ambitions, has worked steadily for over forty years, pursuing his dreams as an actor, one job after the next, successfully killing it along the way (sometimes not, remember the talk show debacle).  

So, my friend, when you find yourself downtrodden, discouraged, turn on Night Court season one and episode one, follow Dan Fieldings  journey throughout the years and see how a lot of striving and scheming was truly driven by an unwavering belief in reaching his desired destination.

Every step I'm taking

Every move I make feels

Lost with no direction

My faith is shaking

But I, I gotta keep trying

Gotta keep my head held high

There's always gonna be another mountain

I'm always gonna wanna make it move

Always gonna be an uphill battle

Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose

Ain't about how fast I get there

Ain't about what's waiting on the other side

It's the climb

The Climb

Write Funny: Night Court Of Life Lessons Chapter Seven

 

How To Write Funny

As I have been reflecting upon the different lessons gleaned from my Night Court fandom by re-watching the series from start to finish, I now realize how much of my creativity, in this instance 'script-writing', has been affected by the comedic writing of Night Court.  The rapid fire back and forth dialogue that never missed a beat, the absurd twists and turns that never failed to surprise as the story unfolded, all have shaped how I express my wordings in the telling of my stories.

Over the last few years, I have been busily working in the post-production land editing video content for my continuing Doctor Who fan-fiction series, TimeSick.  Truth be told, this is quite a daunting task and one of which in the past I have often found myself wondering why I am the one always to do such heavy duty.  However, over the  last few years, I have felt an immense sense of gratitude for this work  has enabled me to learn and develop new skills as well as to realize my talent.  

TimeSick follows the time-lords and time-ladies of Gallifrey upon their home planet and beyond as they seek to either rule the universe entirely or stop others from doing just that.  As each character pursues this journey, they meet some interesting side characters along the way that simultanously encourage and detract them from receiving their purposes through methods that leave them shaking their heads while the audience laughs along.  As I listen to the actors portray my characters and say the lines, I marvel at how natural my comedic understanding is and how strong the influence from my younger years watching Night Court after school in my parents' basement.  I used to credit the actors for infusing their natural comedic timing within the context of my story, which is valid, but the problem was I never allowed myself to value my input and truly embrace my self worth.

TimeKeys Fan Fiction

Nate&Laura&HowTheyMet

In addition to TimeSick, I wrote the first season of the original webseries, "Nate & Laura & How They Met", in which the rough draft was written a little everyday before heading to work.  The impetus to write that was based on watching Netflix sitcoms as well as building on the relationship woes between myself and my friends.   From that, we have two seasons under our belt and are now at work writing, editing, re-writing season three.  I marvel in wonderment at the progression of my sweet little story but once again am blown away by my comedic sensibilities within storytelling.  

Once again, the infamous song lyric comes to mind: 

"Everything comes back to you (Night Court)".

You're still the one I run to

The one that I belong to

You're still the one I want for life

(You're still the one)

You're still the one that I love

The only one I dream of

You're Still The One