Showing posts with label WIlliam Shakespeare. Show all posts
Showing posts with label WIlliam Shakespeare. Show all posts

Sunday, October 24, 2021

Funda-MENTAL-ist: Not Just For Religion Anymore


 "Words, words, words," William Shakespeare proclaimed through his character, Hamlet.  And, indeed, words have such power and such nuance as the definition of such are not always exact, but often based on the world view and experiences of the speaker.  Merely, examining the specific definitions of words in a dictionary shapes our perspective on self, others', and the circumstances we find ourselves therein.  

A Fundamentalist is described as "a person who believes in the strict, literal interpretation of scripture in a religion" whereas an evangelist is defined as "zealous advocacy of a cause."  Because of the behavior and vocal presence of contemporary conservative Christianity, the two are often inter-mixed and mis-used.  However, I would venture to insist that both these words need not be utilized singularly in the realm of religion but can be recognized in other arenas, such as political whether one may profess to be on the side of red or on the side of blue.  

From what I see whether one portrays themselves as an overly zealous progressive left or a hyper-infused conservative right, all religious or spiritual practice aside, their political and social beliefs can find themselves careening into the negative when the dysfuntions of their mind, the undealt with darkness of their souls, takes the reign.

If the word "evangelism" taken by itself with no religious or idealism imposed means to express something positive with the message of bringing hope, ie those who loved a political leader such as Barack Obama or Donald Trump were such evangelists for their cause, the word's meaning alone does not impact the end result caused by the one importing the message.  Someone with the expressed intent of evangelizing can become fundamentalist, nay possibly militant, in their cause when the root of anger and control, the dysfunctional soul, takes ahold.  

In my life, I have friends and acquaintances, those I love and cherish, on both sides of the spectrum of fundamentalism.  Friends that consider themselves evangelistic Christians whose method is increasingly becoming fundamentalist in approach as they are infused more with fearful rhetoric of the world's supposed hatred towards them.  Then, on the left, I have friends who proclaim freedom in opposition towards what those on the right project, yet underneath a marked degree of hatred for what is opposite takes root and spurs on a fundamentalist mindset. Neither side is aware of this, however, as the lack of critical thinking and an over-saturation with media images and an inundation of readily available news has inspired an emotional outcry leaving the masses unable to slow down, ponder, before spewing out a reaction that results in a backlash of anger further and further deepening the divide, plunging each side harder into their own rigid mindsets.

On both sides, whether you be a political progressive, a conservative, a fundamentalist Christian or Muslim, the wordings used are seemingly more important that the intention.  Taking a view at the recent release of Dave Chapelle's latest special, he is found guilty of bigotry towards the transgender community yet without listening to his intentions rather only hearing the incorrect wordings he is vilified.  

Furthermore, during my time of FundaMENTALism, one aspect that led me to leave and reject that chosen path of spirituality, was the emphasis on using the right wordings to express one's faith, mostly led by the wordings the male senior pastor was using at the time, and if one's wordings strayed from that one's walk with God was called into question.  

Neither worldview is aware truly of this lack, getting lost in the outcry of their own voices rather than silencing themselves long enough to truly listen.  The result causes a separation, not just politically, socially, or idealogically, but from each other.  Isolation becomes the norm as each individual presses their face further into the screen, not grasping the nuance of the speaker on the other side, feeling depressed but unable to express and receive adequate help, anger ensues and continues unabatedly.

This lack of true connection leads to always needing to be right and moreover to be better than the other.  Yet perfection for any whatever the belief of such can never be attained.  A person with a left mindset will never fully reach their true perfection if that is what they are seeking rather than allowing themselves to revel in the highs and lows of the journey of their soul's purpose and evolution.  Thus, on the side of the right religious, the same occurs with a rampant fear of expressing one's failures and such deepens the separation.  

Recently, in my local region, a well-to-do church was besought with a scandal that I believe was caused by this needing to be perfect, to fall in line, and consequential division.  The Senior Pastor faced a result of his isolation and lack of authenticity with self by his extramaritial dalliances being exposed forcing his position within the framework of the church to be changed.  In my past, during my deconstruction, I would be angered by this hypocricy and want to use it as fodder to fuel others to leave said church.  However, as I read the article, I found myself feeling an expressed degree of sadness for those attending the church, the pastor's wife and children, the other woman involved if that be the case, and, moreover, for the pastor himself.  For each involved were never allowed to truly discover, choose, and express the fullness of who they are rather had to fall in line with that which was imposed on them by a fundamentalist system.

This illness is not something subject only to the Conservative Christian with the other side immune in their supposed enlightenment.  No, indeed, rather any belief structure that becomes rigid in its enforcement and wordings loses its freedoms and causes those that believe such to lose their ability to discover their true selves and pathways. 



Wednesday, December 12, 2018

Are you addicted?

In the world according to Google, the definition of addiction is thus: the fact or condition of being addicted to a particular substance, thing, or activity.




I've been thinking about the nature of addiction, in my life and those around me.  I've been made aware of the disastrous effects addictions to certain substances, such as alcohol, can have on an individual's physical as well as interpersonal lives, numerous times over.  Its both painful to watch and very awe-inspiring when the individual finally admits their weakness and enters recovery.
But addiction isn't just that of a dependency on an illegal substance.  Legal substances can also be an addiction, such as alcohol and for that  matter, coffee and tobacco.  
But, what does it really mean to have an addiction? And, can we have an addiction on anything else besides a substance? Can we be addicted to a TV show, a movie, a certain story, certain concepts we latch onto, a way of being we formulate as the right way, religion, even for that matter, people? Can even love, or rather the idea of it, be an addiction?
So, what does it mean to have an addiction? For my part, I do not claim to have an addictive personality, but I do believe I have had addictions, mainly to relationships of my past.  Illusions of what I desired my life to be, an escape from what I saw as lacking in my current life situations.  I even for a time sought out religious practices as a form of addiction, an escape.
Because I feel that addiction is just that, an escape.  We can surround our addictions, not substance related, with reasonings up the wazoo of why this particular item or focus is beneficial to us and to others.  And, in a sense it is.  Every addiction has its benefits, even tobacco and alcohol can have medicinal purposes.  But the sad fact becomes apparent that in abundance the addiction can become fatal, not to just our physical but also our spiritual or emotional selves.
In the abundance of our addiction, control takes over and we lose ourselves.  We lose the ability to self-analyze ourselves, to truly overcome and find healing for that which led us to the need for the addiction.  When I was attending Calvary Chapel, the draw to join and continue membership became a desire to fit in, to disappear from myself, to find the easy answers for my struggles.  Did it work? No, not entirely.  There were some benefits to that addiction.  I found some friends with whom I have sweet memories, but I still needed to sacrifice that addiction in order to find true healing and freedom from the dangerous despair of my own inflicted pain.  For years, I tried to hide within the confines of organized religion, my drug of choice at the time, to escape from the reality of my own detriment.
Now, I am not saying that religion is bad, nor am I saying that all drugs or devices are bad.  I do have many friends that have spiritual beliefs, likewise friends that partake in certain substances.  But the fact of the matter is, by allowing these aforementioned items into their lives, they are merely enjoying and not escaping.  An addiction appears when something becomes more of a reason to hide than truly allow ourselves to delve into the root of our pain, release, overcome, and find true enlightenment, as such.  But, this can be daunting and thus the addiction, whatever it is, can look more appealing, a comfort.  
So, what's the solution? For my personal life experience, recovery is an ongoing path we all partake.  We all get better with age and grow more fully into ourselves with each experience.  Thus, my path is not your path, nor is  my addictions your addictions, or my issues yours.  I won't try to rescue or save, or steer you away from something I seem detrimental.  I have seen friends fall off the wagon, seen friends make negative choices based on their need to escape, and also seen how my trying to enforce their change proved the opposite.  
So, I focus on doing what's right for myself, even if that is sacrificing a certain relationship or releasing an individual into their own despair.  I know that ultimately focusing on my own health will catapult itself to a better life for myself and those I come across.  
In actuality, that's all any of us can do.   To quote Shakespeare, "To Thine Ownself Be True."





Sunday, September 6, 2015

Shakespeare Speaks!

"Love can comment upon every woe."---The Bard

I picture myself as Hero here, shaking my head over my cousin, Beatrice's vain attempts at keeping herself from love.  At times, we all do that, trying to rationalize away our feelings in order to protect our hearts from hurt.  But, in the end, whether we allow the love in or strive to push it off, the hurt will inflict.  The difference is, whether we enjoy the benefits of our love along the way or not.  Love hurts but it doesn't have to necessarily end in heartbreak and farewell, but even when in does, trying to keep love away hurts more in the end, for we are left without the fond memories of love's delights.

"By heaven, I love thee better than myself."---The Bard

As in response to the last quote, admitting to yourself and to the one you love reaps an enormous amount of benefit than any possible embarrassment that comes in the process.  By being honest with ourselves and our feelings, we deepen our sense of self and strength as well as further develop our connection to those we love.  In the end, our overall satisfaction in life deepens to a level we would have never imagined before. 

"My bounty is as boundless as the sea, my love is deep; the more I give to thee, the more I have, for both are infinite."---The Bard

Lastly, admitting with an honest intensity the immense depth of your love for your beloved helps to maintain the security of the relationship, for both yourself and for the other.  In that security, trust is built, which brings about a depth of intimacy that further develops as the relationship continues.

So, The Bard had some good things to say, he wasn't just speaking prose and flowery language.  If we really listen as we read, the powerful truths of life and philosophy can reach out to us across the centuries.

These lines taken from my next production, "Shakespeare's Lovers" directed by Southern Oregon University students, Jonathan Pratt and Ceara Hays.




What I'd Do For Love

I am Isabella, the sister of Claudio but also one committed to seeking to understand the spiritual realm.  I have begun the process of dedicating my life to the sisterhood, to become a bride of Christ as the saying goes.  In this, I commit my life to purity.

But, really, what choice do I have?

Claudio, my brother, is my best friend and the only family I have left in the world.  In a very real sense, he is my hero.  He is the one who cared for me all my life after our parents passed.  When as orphans, we were transferred to live with our begrudging aunt, our father's sister, and her family.  This family never fully accepted us but treated us as one step above servanthood and considered their responsibility to us as a mere duty.

When my brother met and fell in love with Juliet, our adopted family suddenly found him of more importance to them, as Juliet's family was one of wealth and social prominence.

Now that his fate is secured, it is time for me to branch out on my own and set purposely forward for my security.  My fate, then, sealed within the confines of the church.  But, this has not always been my desire.  Surely, I have a devotion to the things of the Lord but more than that I have always longed for the love and affection of a husband.  But, in today's society, a woman of my social position cannot hope for much more than what's she's given.

Thus, somewhat unhappily, I resign myself to my 'calling'.

Until I am approached by my brother in desperation, who is committed an act of treason, sexual intercourse before marriage, and is doomed to death by the government.

In this moment, the tables are turned and I am the one that needs to be the hero, for my brother.


Find out what happens on October 4th, 8 pm at the Bellview Grange as I play Isabella in "Shakespeare's Lovers" directed by Southern Oregon University students, Jonathan Pratt and Ceara Hays.

Saturday, September 5, 2015

In Search of the Dream

"Poor Lady, she were better love a dream."---William Shakespeare

Here I am, Hero, realizing what love truly is, a give and take compromise and hard work when it comes down to it, not the fairy-tale romance I once longed for.  There I see my cousin, Beatrice, fighting against this dreaded truth that she indeed loves Benedick.  The longer she fights against it, the harder her life becomes as she desires only a perfect human that is non-existent in this world.

I see now that loving someone is not merely built on fantasy, but on loving them for all their faults and flaws.

But, then when I think of who I am, in spite of my love for Claudio, imperfect that he is, I realize that in order to be true to myself, I must never give up loving that dream, however far-fetched, and that that is what makes life worth living.

"Straight on kisses' dream."---William Shakespeare

These lines are excerpts from my upcoming production of "Shakespeare's Lovers" opening October 4th, 8 pm at the Bellview Grange in Ashland, Oregon.  The show is directed by Southern Oregon University students, Jonathan Pratt and Ceara Hays.

Friday, September 4, 2015

Confusing Love.

"Give me some counsel."--William Shakespeare

Can one just put themselves in the shoes of Juliet Capulet? That is one of my first jobs as an actress, when I am given any character and begin reading through the script, how can I relate to this character so that her story is true through me?  

I've been where Juliet is, we all have after all.  In those awkward early stages of love and infatuation in our younger days, trying to sort out who we are, our plans, our goals, amidst the raging hormones of passion and lust.  Added to that Juliet's issues with her beloved's family and hers in violent opposition, things would get more than a little murky.

But, Juliet does the right thing here, even if all goes to hell in the end.  She does what we all should do, but usually is our last ditch effort.  

She asks for counsel, then follows through on the advice of the Friar.  So, it didn't end the way they exactly had planned, but she did her part.  

So, a lot can be said about Juliet.  She is more than just a love-sick, naive teenager; she's savvy enough to not let herself get carried away in the emotional upheaval of young love, be drawn away by the bitterness of family feuds, or act irrationally in any other way (that's her Romeo's job).  She thinks things through, seeks guidance, and acts from there.

She's a smart cookie and deserves more than just a passing glance.

"Shakespeare's Lovers" is directed by Southern Oregon University students', Jonathan Pratt and Ceara Hays.  It opens October 4th, 8 pm at the Bellview Grange in Ashland, Oregon.


There's a "Hero" in all of us!


"As I may be all-girl, all-woman, that doesn't mean I'm a shrinking violet or lessen my strengths, abilities, need for independence, or free thinking.  In fact, its the opposite, it develops the need deeper within.

I have goals and dreams, beyond falling in love with a man and settling down.  I don't mind having that but I also want more.  Unfortunately, the way my society dictates, my existence as a woman is entirely dependent on being a wife and mother.  But, maybe that's why my name is Hero, to be the change this world needs for all women-kind.

 A definition of Hero is as follows:

a person who, in the opinion of others, has heroic qualities or has performed a heroic act and is regarded as a model or ideal

However, my world is turned upside down when I actually end up falling in love with Claudio.  I try to play it cool but after he leaves for battle, I realize my predicament.  I can only think of him, miss him, and realize now fully that part of my destiny is to be aligned with his life.

Upon his safe return, I am ready to stand by his side as wife and life partner, a giant step for a woman with my mindset, who was ready to defy convention and go against the grain of societal forces.

How do I understand this in myself? Well, as I explained to my cousin, Beatrice, its not something I fully understand myself, only that this power of love pulls me toward Claudio.  Furthermore, I feel so much that I know him and can trust that he will allow me to further pursue my ambitions and passions."


Hero is a character from the William Shakespeare's, "Much Ado About Nothing", of which scenes are used in my next production, "Shakespeare's Lovers", directed by Southern Oregon University students, Jonathan Pratt and Ceara Hayes.  The show opens October 4th, 8 pm at the Bellview Grange in Ashland, Oregon.



Revealing Richard

"And if she did not hate him deadly, she would love him dearly."---Richard III

I am the maid-servant of Lady Anne, named Margaret, her life-long companion, friend, and in many ways a sister.  I always hold her best interests in every fashion, romantically, emotionally, and even societally.

Deep down, I feel her anger and depression over losing her beloved husband and sons but also her loneliness and desperation.  I know there is a need to maintain her position within the court in whatever way possible.

With that, we both realize that aligning herself, albeit unhappily, with the usurping King Richard is the best way to do this, hoping that in this way we may contribute to his downfall and to bring about revenge.

In my mind, that is the only real reason for this union.

"Shakespeare's Lovers" is a play directed by SOU students, Jonathan Pratt and Ceara Hayes and opens October 4th, 8 pm at the Bellview Grange in Ashland, Oregon.

I'm Just Alice.



"Alice, the servant of Princess Katharine of France, in many ways like an older sister to her.  I am wiser, older, and more guarded but because of this and my position very often overlooked.  However, because of this, I know how best to wait patiently, to take my time, and watch, in a sense, I am the power behind the throne, at least for Kate, hopefully helping her to make the best decisions for her sake and that of France, even when that means aligning herself with the enemy, England, through an arranged marriage.

In many ways,  I am more militaristic than those I serve, even King Henry.  I have spent the majority of my life within the family of French royalty so my best interest is to maintain that position however subservient.  To ensure this, I also have to maintain their high position at court.  In this way, I keep my living situation, comfort, and form of authority.

To be truthful, I also hold great affection for Kate, rather I am in love with her.  Because of my position and society, I cannot reveal to her my feelings.  So, I watch as she is wooed by others, those who I jealously fear will take her far away from me, leaving me broken-hearted. "

Alice is a character from Henry V, of which I am playing in "Shakespeare's Lovers" directed by SOU students, Jonathan Pratt and Ceara Hayes.  The show opens October 4th, 8pm at the Bellview Grange in Ashland, Oregon.



Thursday, September 3, 2015

Juliet & Her Romeo

In order to best connect to Miss Juliet Capulet, aged 14 at the time we meet her in Shakespeare's R&J, I looked back at my own times of young adventures into infatuation and love, that of my time with my former boyfriend and now friend, Will.

"I still remember that walk we took, remember it almost down to the last detail, the night we almost but not quite fell in love, two kids we were, young and fully alive walking the golden path.  We were astonishingly innocent of what lay beyond this night, in the days to come, when our love would shatter in the brightness of the sun, the disapproving eye of the world around.  Those days beyond when I tried to hide my feelings, my true self from this view, yet held too tightly onto you.

But, for that night alone, forever etched upon my memory,  I can walk the path we took, in footstep and in mind.  The words we shared are lost in time, however, the emotions we felt are as fresh as they were in that moment felt, the newness and excitement of budding love in all its mystery and grandeur.
At times, I wish I could revisit just to see you look at me once more, to feel your touch like that again, to have your eyes, not so distant, meet mine again.

To be in there with you again, hands clasped in each others, awaiting the longed-for approaching first kiss, like a Juliet and her Romeo we were, ill-fated but not for that night, for then we had forever and always."

This memory is a way to deepen my understanding and appreciation for my upcoming show, "Shakespeare's Lovers" directed by Jonathan Pratt and Ceara Hays.  I play many different characters including Juliet.  The show date is October 4th, 8 pm at the Bellview Grange in Ashland, Oregon.