Friday, October 20, 2023

FanGirlHour: Always Look On The Bright Side Of Life & Other Python Teachings

 


FanGirlHour: Always Look On The Bright Side Of Life & Other Python Teachings

https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/fangirling/episodes/Always-Look-On-The-Bright-Side-Of-Life--Other-Python-Teachings-FanGirlHour-e2arhgp/a-aagl6so

In this episode, I chat with my friend, Jason Boese, about his lifelong love of all things Monty Python. We discuss how he came to love the show, how it has impacted his life personally & professionally, his favorite of the pythons and why, favorite of the films, and songs, & more.

Jason Boese

In the past few years, Jason has garnered worthwhile film and life experience to move my craft forward. Life hasn't always been kind to him, but he has managed to persevere and come out relatively fine. Being an eccentric amateur philosopher has opened his eyes to ways of the world, and has enhanced his writing ability and content, as well as his ability to effectively direct and shoot a film, and edit the footage into a finished product. He takes inspiration from Monty Python for his comedy stylings, and Alfred Hitchcock for his way of directing his performers. Showing a lot by doing a little and being highly focused has helped center his stories.

Links:
https://www.facebook.com/BoeseFilmProductions

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCnAZ5RnYBFZk_5kzy02uvZw

https://www.patreon.com/BoeseFilm

#montypython #fangirling #fangirlhour #podcastandchill

Journaling Through The Years, Ep. 80: Nobody Can Live Without Friends #r...


In this episode, I begin with a risque sexy entry, then switch to a memory of a night with a good friend, which sparks a conversation on try as I might I would never ever be able to just "use" a guy or a person, that I require an emotional and mental connection to have any sort of relationship, and that the main essential thing that has sustained me throughout my life are good friends. 

Check out merch & websites they are supporting:

National Suicide Prevention Hotline (24 hours):  18002738255

Text Home to: 741741

If you are struggling with your mental health, you and your life matter.

Contact NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness) at:

nami.org

nami-so.org

The Trevor Project: https://www.thetrevorproject.org/

Merchandise:

https://www.bonfire.com/jesus-lt3-queer/

https://www.bonfire.com/timekeys-band...

https://www.bonfire.com/timekeys-fan-...

https://www.bonfire.com/recovery-sexy

Listen to the FanGirlHour: https://anchor.fm/fangirling

Thursday, October 19, 2023

Know Your Body #health #wellness #recovery #healingjourney

 

Recently, I was given the new diagnosis of IBS, Irritable Bowel Syndrome, added to the three I already have.  First, acquiring the diagnosis of Bipolar in 2006, discarding depression and ADD mis-diagnosed in my teens, finally, in 2011, Celiac Disease, some years later, gratefully, CPTSD in 2019, and now, after years of still struggling with gut issues even after conquering the celia issue, IBS.  The journey of discovery when given these labels individually and then, collectively, has been one of a soul-searching struggle at times, then suddenly grateful relief.  


As I reflect upon the roads I have traveled until now, I find some ease as I commence a new path of understanding my body's needs to heal in this new beginning (IBS).  Yet, still at times, I tense within, feeling a sense of hopelessness, when faced with the all-consuming task of once again learning what's right, what's wrong for my body.  "What the hell can I eat? I have shrieked inwardly as I navigate the elimination diet in order to find the food sensitive triggers, while at times slogging through days of overwhelming fatigue as my body adjusts to the cleanse or lack of nutrients still not discovered. I must once again learn to rest and to be gentle with myself through the process, not judge or cry because I find myself once again at another 'step one'.  


Added to all of that, I'm aging, try as I might to freeze or build Tardises to control time, the sands in the hourglass are slipping by, marked by the changes upon my face, hair, body, and even within.  As the numbers attached to my years alive increase, my body and mind shift, altering what I once was capable, but with this, comes a new appreciation for the simplicity of life.  The desires I once sought for have faded, changed, and find renewal in the focus to thrive in peace within and without.


Thus, as I face these new journeys of recovery, the physical and emotional, I find comfort in the truth that life is an ever-unfolding discovery to knowing more fully myself, reaching ever towards an achievement once gained, only to reveal another layer to voyage in discovery.  Daunting as it may seem, it is inevitable, for the sole purpose of life is the journey towards finding one's soul.  









Friday, October 13, 2023

That Night Court Podcast, S1E9: Lana, Lana, What Should Have Been...

 That Night Court Podcast, S1E9: Lana, Lana, What Should Have Been...


In this episode, an adverse reaction to a medication causes Lana to lose her grip with reality & resulting in her questioning her feelings for Harry, relationship with her fiance, and her place in the world. All the while, Dan & Liz kick it...why? I don't know, it's just a thing that is happening. Selma just enjoys her little world, Bull struggles to help but still unsure of what is going on.

Journaling Through The Years, Ep. 79: Making Sense Of My Own Mind #menta...


In this episode, I read an entry that details a very uncomfortable place, physically, I was in which leads to a discussion on how the physical can affect one's mental illness & how mental illness can lead to physical issues as well. Check out merch & websites they are supporting: National Suicide Prevention Hotline (24 hours): 18002738255 Text Home to: 741741 If you are struggling with your mental health, you and your life matter. Contact NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness) at: nami.org nami-so.org The Trevor Project: https://www.thetrevorproject.org/ Merchandise: https://www.bonfire.com/jesus-lt3-queer/ https://www.bonfire.com/timekeys-band... https://www.bonfire.com/timekeys-fan-... https://www.bonfire.com/recovery-sexy Listen to the FanGirlHour: https://anchor.fm/fangirling

Thursday, October 12, 2023

Xennial: Caught In The Middle



I used to be offended because I felt seemingly overlooked by the whole network of a marketing industry.  As a child, I watched my older Gen-X siblings with their mohawks, acid wash jeans, and their "Me" generation.  While they listened to Tiffany, Debbie Gibson, watched and related to Molly Ringwald films, I played with Strawberry Shortcake, Cabbage Patch Dolls, My Little Ponies (the originals), watched and related to Punky Brewster.  As I grew older, I played Oregon Trail to their Pac-Man.  While they carried a large boombox or walk-man, I donned the portable cd player.  There were overlaps between my growing up years and theirs, just as there are with the one that would follow the Millennials.  



As I came of age in the 90's, entering college, the workforce, I felt over-looked again, this time with a new marketing direction, the 'Millennials'.  I was left without a generation to cling to, the Gen-Xers didn't claim me and cast me to the Millennials, who laughed me right back to the Gen-Xers.  Or, so they both thought, however, neither did I feel quite at home yet seemingly I still find commonality within both.  


Then, it irked me as much as it pleased me when my generation was given the term, "Xennial".   Yes, we are born in a shorter time span than the previous and the following, but does that signify we should be labeled as a mixture of both, as if we aren't special enough to have our own title? Indeed, haven't we suffered enough being overlooked during our coming of age influential years to finally be handed as if an afterthought a combo-label?  With as much gratitude of finally having my generation, my growing up years, a recognition, I balked at the "Xennial" and proudly referred to myself as "the Oregon Trail Generation".  And, still do.  The Oregon Trail game was bad-ass and I will never refute that, come at me, if you do.  However, the "Oregon Trail Gen" doesn't roll off the tongue with as much ease as does Gen-X, Millennial, or now Gen-Z. 


But, then something changed in my regard towards the label, "Xennial".  Upon reflecting on the overall history of my life, I realized I have always had the unique position of being in-between which was backed up by a friend in college admiringly calling me a 'bridge'.  In my small town high school, I was in one of the largest classes ever, yet I wasn't actually supposed to be.  Having been held back a year in preschool (for not being emotionally and developmentally ready, mind you, I could color just fine), I was always a year older than the rest of my classmates.  Yet, as we grew up together, I never really felt as if it was anything but my class and now today I proudly claim them as a 'forever family', the "G-Town 97 Fam, baby!"  However, there was a time, during our middle school and high school years, when a certain element of my class was found a grievance and annoyance among the other classes.  In the afternoon electives, I would sit in classes with students from grades above or below me, listening to their ongoing rants about the clicky over-dominance of some of my classmates.  Then, they would glance at me, with a slight apologetic smile, "I hate your class, not you, but you know what I mean."   I would nod in understanding.  Later, in my twenties, I traveled to Europe where I met friends from Italy, France, Switzerland, who would complain on the annoyances of the USA, from the government using their countries as a launching pad for their wars to the 'stupid American' tourists who over-took their streets.  Then, they would look at me, with a slight apologetic smile, "I hate your country, not you, but you know what I mean."  I would nod in understanding.

On and on throughout my life, I continued to find myself in such a place, growing increasingly in the role of a bridge, a mediator, an 'in-between'.  With all this combined experience and personal relationship research, I come to an understanding of the label 'Xennial' with new found affection.  As such, I am an advocate to assist the Gen-Xers, even the Boomers, in understanding the younger, as such I aid in offering guidance to the Millennials, even Gen-Z, to connect with the elder.  Being an "Xennial", an in-between, naturally affords me the role I was seemingly fated, the 'mediator', bridging the gap, alleviating the argumental mis-understandings of the generations surrounding me, yet still uniquely feeling at home with myself and with those others of my generation.

I am an Oregon Trail Generation.  I am an Xennial.  And proud.  


https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Xennials



Friday, October 6, 2023

FanGirling 4 Kevin Smith (With KJ)

 FanGirling 4 Kevin Smith (With KJ)




In this episode of the FanGirlHour, I chat with my good friend, KJ, about how the movies & story-telling of Kevin Smith has been a life-long influence on his creative output and his overall outlook on life. He shares some of his most influential moments bonding with others over Kevin Smith films, including his wife & shares how this fandom has influenced his outreach for artists of many a variety.
KJ has been a theatre professional for much of his career, including as a youth drama teacher, lighting designer, technical director and stage manager. While at home in stage tech and leadership positions, he also enjoys performing. His other interests include writing poetry and playing hand drums in local bands and at church.
A former teacher, KJ has launched Artists Happy Hour in support of a new non-profit, Talent Pool, where our creative interests can develop through mentoring.
KJ supports Randall Theatre/Ghostlight Playhouse, Backyard Community Food Court, Rockafairy, and collaborates with the local independent film and stand-up comedy scenes.
None of this would be possible without the support of his wife and 2 kids, and a very talented group of close friends.
Links:
Artists Happy Hour
Connect with KJ:
The Backyard Community Foodcourt
⁠Court⁠
See Insights and Ads

Journaling Through The Years, Ep. 78: Obnoxious 4th Of July Middle Schoo...


A nice silly vlog, a break from the hard stuff, in this episode, I share a sighting my 16 year old self saw of a guy I used to like...nickname "D". Of course, my angsty, Beverly Hills, 90210 influenced brain made it more dramatic than it was, and then I connect it with my experience with the same guy as a grown up. Plus, I discuss whether a person is not a virgin if they have used tampons (answer: they are), discuss how even though I think Brad Pitt is hot, I need more than looks to have any sort of relations, which leads into once again a discussion on my being a demisexual & a love addict. Check out merch & websites they are supporting: National Suicide Prevention Hotline (24 hours): 18002738255 Text Home to: 741741 If you are struggling with your mental health, you and your life matter. Contact NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness) at: nami.org nami-so.org The Trevor Project: https://www.thetrevorproject.org/ Merchandise: https://www.bonfire.com/jesus-lt3-queer/ https://www.bonfire.com/timekeys-band... https://www.bonfire.com/timekeys-fan-... https://www.bonfire.com/recovery-sexy

Thursday, October 5, 2023

Self Care is Recovery & Recovery Ain't Easy

 


Across social media, one can see a plethora of posts and memes proclaiming the value of self care, most of these posts depict such as relaxation, hot bubble baths and warm tea, a good book, a long walk.  While I see the value in such activities for healing purposes, I must express the fullness of what self care is when aligned with its true purpose of assisting in the process of recovery.  A friend, who is in the throes of overcoming a substance addiction, posts pictures of themselves smelling flowers, serene backgrounds, inspiring quotes, and I can only hope that behind the façade of the happy self care social media exterior, intense, emotional hard work is active.   


True recovery begins with admittance, that of, recognizing for yourself and others that there is something that needs to be altered within.  After that initial step, begins the often slow, arduous process of figuring out how to overcome the weaknesses, negative coping strategies that were used to appease the pain, work through the issues and trauma that caused, which avenues to do such are varied but often are discovered through intense one on one therapy, group therapy, and, for some, 12 step groups.  As one who has battled and overcome symptoms of mental illness since 2006, I have tried with much success all three as well as other means.  


While involved with these forms of therapy, I dove deeper and deeper into all realms of myself within and truly came face to face with myself, warts and all, as the onion of self discovery peeled further and further layers away.  I had to face my own inner ugliness and recognize with transparency and honesty how that hurt myself and others.  In recognizing such, I had to acknowledge aloud to another, admitting such was a process akin to 'coming out', no longer could I hide in the darkness of my own soul, however by doing so, I found a release that brought me into the fullness of my light, true understanding of self, true peace within.  Actively, I took steps to make amends with others and continue such, yet in so doing, I have learned that making amends is for no one but myself and the one I have wronged has agency and authority to decide how to accept.  Even now, after 17 years of recovery, I am learning that making amends does not mean that the relationship is restored and if so is not for me to decide. Thus, making amends is a process of letting go and acceptance.  


The truth is, recovery is hard work with much effort.  There are times of success, moments of a mountain peak, and the lower, painful times when the struggle seems all too difficult.  One step forward, two steps back is often expressed by those recovering (Recovery is not done in isolation, I must add).  Whatever the season of recovery, whether high or low, self care is only an aspect of such, meant to soothe and restore, not a means to heal alone.  Yes, hopefully, underneath glossy exterior of the social media posts and memes proclaiming the value of self care, lies the inner daily battle of looking within, understanding, releasing, accepting, then, finally, being able to move forward.  Yet, I do not want to discourage one towards recovery, for the process however difficult at times, is worth the climb, for the sunlight of peaceful wholeness emerges, after the inner storm within is calmed. 

In my recovery

 I’m a soldier at war 

 have broken down walls

 I defined 

I designed

 My recovery