7 Days of Gratitude, Day 7--Final Day!
1.) finding my character for the first time for God Of Carnage, it was such a thrilling feeling & awesome discovery
2.) getting to know my new cast & director, new friends, through this process
3.) the restlessness I feel for change
4.) financial stability, of sorts
5.) watching parts of my family, (cousins, Aunt, sister) challenge each other on facebook with the ALS ice bucket challenge
6.) the fact that I have yet to be challenged
7.) that where I was is not where I am & that things keep getting better & better
8.) the adorable way Tansy looked at me just now
9.) our personal collection of sock monkeys, including sock monkey hats, & people who made them for us
10.) for August because 7 years after the fact its been a really good one, amazing, in fact
11.) for good books that stick with you long after you have finished them
12.) for the 12th doctor because his time officially begins
Saturday, August 23, 2014
Friday, August 22, 2014
7 Days of Gratitude, Day 6
7 Days of Gratitude, Day 6
1.) the ability to not stress too much about money
2.) faith in the darkness or difficult times
3.) the places I have come from, where I was, I no longer am which gives me hope that I won't be where I am for too long
4.) for the ocean
5.) for my Barnstormers' family
6.) for my work, a way of making money that is within my schedule or my choice of when to work
7.) my ability to listen to the spirit's leading & obey, even when it doesn't make one bit of sense
8.) for love. all types.
9.) for my friends, once again, both new & old. Too many to count.
10.) for the times that things were confusing or hard or when people tried to push me down or control me or told me I couldn't or shouldn't, because I got back up & tried again & kept going
11.) for that one week or so I lived in Medford, even though rough circumstances, it was a new beginning & an interesting experience
12.) for gains & losses, "he giveth & taketh away"
1.) the ability to not stress too much about money
2.) faith in the darkness or difficult times
3.) the places I have come from, where I was, I no longer am which gives me hope that I won't be where I am for too long
4.) for the ocean
5.) for my Barnstormers' family
6.) for my work, a way of making money that is within my schedule or my choice of when to work
7.) my ability to listen to the spirit's leading & obey, even when it doesn't make one bit of sense
8.) for love. all types.
9.) for my friends, once again, both new & old. Too many to count.
10.) for the times that things were confusing or hard or when people tried to push me down or control me or told me I couldn't or shouldn't, because I got back up & tried again & kept going
11.) for that one week or so I lived in Medford, even though rough circumstances, it was a new beginning & an interesting experience
12.) for gains & losses, "he giveth & taketh away"
Thursday, August 21, 2014
7 Days of Gratitude, Day Five
7 Days of Gratitude, Day Five
1.) for my home, its comfortable & safe, both of which are vastly important to me & for my well-being
2.) for the new show & the challenge it brings
3.) for Rogue Community College, it holds a good energy & a warm place in my heart
4.) for the breakdowns I've had, because I've gotten up again & been stronger for it
5.) for lies that were told to me because of them I found my truth
6.) for Robin Downward, for some reason, either way, its kind of funny
7.) for Chloe', Vanessa, & the new friends who rallied around me with love & so much laughter during this last year
8.) for Doniella, well, obviously
9.) for the fact that I don't have children (& won't ever), its so much easier to have a cat
10.) for people like my boyfriend, Michael, Chloe', & Koiwu, who make me laugh harder than anyone else
11.) for Paxil, because even though its causing some disturbances emotionally I am starting to feel better
12.) for Royce because he taught me to be "so happy its thursday" & for the Doctor in all his regenerations
1.) for my home, its comfortable & safe, both of which are vastly important to me & for my well-being
2.) for the new show & the challenge it brings
3.) for Rogue Community College, it holds a good energy & a warm place in my heart
4.) for the breakdowns I've had, because I've gotten up again & been stronger for it
5.) for lies that were told to me because of them I found my truth
6.) for Robin Downward, for some reason, either way, its kind of funny
7.) for Chloe', Vanessa, & the new friends who rallied around me with love & so much laughter during this last year
8.) for Doniella, well, obviously
9.) for the fact that I don't have children (& won't ever), its so much easier to have a cat
10.) for people like my boyfriend, Michael, Chloe', & Koiwu, who make me laugh harder than anyone else
11.) for Paxil, because even though its causing some disturbances emotionally I am starting to feel better
12.) for Royce because he taught me to be "so happy its thursday" & for the Doctor in all his regenerations
Wednesday, August 20, 2014
7 Days of Gratitude, Day Four
7 Days of Gratitude, Day Four
1.) oddly enough for my sleep-deprived, foggy brain for its an exercise in focus & endurance & because it came about as an example of my knowledge of self-care
2.) for the roofers banging on my roof, distracting & frustrating to me, they deserve some love~for their efforts & for the very fact that they are a cause of such annoyance without really meaning to (they are just doing their job) & I am sure I will be very thankful for their work done later on, especially during the rainy season
3.) for my friend, Ruth Wire, because she's epic & because at her glorious advanced age she is still trying to better herself as a person and an actor/writer
4.) for my very talented, self-directed boyfriend, Michael & for watching him film his final scenes last night. It was epically beautiful.
5.) for the new friends I met through that experience the last few nights
6.) for black Virgin Marys & other inside jokes, with new friends, random people & old friends
7.) for Tinseltown because they show Doctor Who
8.) for how amazing it is that Doctor Who is a world-wide phenomenon & a cult-icon & for Stephen Moffat because I personally think he is amazing & he needs some love & doesn't get it
9.) for writers because if we didn't have them the world wouldn't exist
10.) for auditions, which are the equivalent of job interviews for normal people (See: Muggles), but an extremely more gut-wrenching & emotionally charged
11.) for genuine people who say what they mean, mean what they say
12.) for good healthy partners of my friends who treat them how they should be treated
1.) oddly enough for my sleep-deprived, foggy brain for its an exercise in focus & endurance & because it came about as an example of my knowledge of self-care
2.) for the roofers banging on my roof, distracting & frustrating to me, they deserve some love~for their efforts & for the very fact that they are a cause of such annoyance without really meaning to (they are just doing their job) & I am sure I will be very thankful for their work done later on, especially during the rainy season
3.) for my friend, Ruth Wire, because she's epic & because at her glorious advanced age she is still trying to better herself as a person and an actor/writer
4.) for my very talented, self-directed boyfriend, Michael & for watching him film his final scenes last night. It was epically beautiful.
5.) for the new friends I met through that experience the last few nights
6.) for black Virgin Marys & other inside jokes, with new friends, random people & old friends
7.) for Tinseltown because they show Doctor Who
8.) for how amazing it is that Doctor Who is a world-wide phenomenon & a cult-icon & for Stephen Moffat because I personally think he is amazing & he needs some love & doesn't get it
9.) for writers because if we didn't have them the world wouldn't exist
10.) for auditions, which are the equivalent of job interviews for normal people (See: Muggles), but an extremely more gut-wrenching & emotionally charged
11.) for genuine people who say what they mean, mean what they say
12.) for good healthy partners of my friends who treat them how they should be treated
Tuesday, August 19, 2014
7 Days of Gratitude, Day Three
7 Days of Gratitude, Day Three
1.) for hunger & the ability to fill my belly with good food & the availability of choices that I have
2.) for my financial process & steps towards independence & wealth
3.) for finding people, randomly & otherwise, who believe in me & tell me in so many ways to keep trying & following my dreams
4.) for divine appointments
5.) for Tansy, who is sometimes sweet because she wants my food & is sometimes sweet because she just is
6.) for classic movie stars, like Lauren Bacall, who defined Hollywood as a place of true acting as an art & as a place of ethics (not true anymore) who, in a sense, did it because they love it & we all seem to hold onto, pine for that era today
7.) for the slight randomness of meeting a Hollywood producer & LA actor on a street corner in Ashland at 11:00 at night, sitting on the sidewalk, doing cement yoga, talking about black Virgin Marys, the pope, Italian food which caused my mouth to water & my tummy to rumble, & a crazy cult leader from the 1970s who lived in Oregon
8.) for old memories that are good even when later on those relationships went sour & for a new life with new memories shared & made
9.) for inside jokes
10.) for the donkey who got fed yesterday
11.) for all the old crushes & lovers who "got away"
12.) for Eckhart Tolle & more importantly for the new ways I am starting to understand the divine (which isn't really new) & for the healing its bringing to my soul & heart
1.) for hunger & the ability to fill my belly with good food & the availability of choices that I have
2.) for my financial process & steps towards independence & wealth
3.) for finding people, randomly & otherwise, who believe in me & tell me in so many ways to keep trying & following my dreams
4.) for divine appointments
5.) for Tansy, who is sometimes sweet because she wants my food & is sometimes sweet because she just is
6.) for classic movie stars, like Lauren Bacall, who defined Hollywood as a place of true acting as an art & as a place of ethics (not true anymore) who, in a sense, did it because they love it & we all seem to hold onto, pine for that era today
7.) for the slight randomness of meeting a Hollywood producer & LA actor on a street corner in Ashland at 11:00 at night, sitting on the sidewalk, doing cement yoga, talking about black Virgin Marys, the pope, Italian food which caused my mouth to water & my tummy to rumble, & a crazy cult leader from the 1970s who lived in Oregon
8.) for old memories that are good even when later on those relationships went sour & for a new life with new memories shared & made
9.) for inside jokes
10.) for the donkey who got fed yesterday
11.) for all the old crushes & lovers who "got away"
12.) for Eckhart Tolle & more importantly for the new ways I am starting to understand the divine (which isn't really new) & for the healing its bringing to my soul & heart
Monday, August 18, 2014
7 Days of Gratitude, Day Two
7 Days of Gratitude, Day Two
1.) the sunlight streaming through the stairway window with the bugs illuminated by the the light. I always have liked that. Its kind of beautiful, in a way. Nature in one of its finest forms, simply glory revealed.
2.) morning coffee
3.) being woken up by Leo wanting breakfast & receiving snuggles
4.) Michael's sense of humor, having a lover & partner that I can infinitely trust, waking up next to him, & especially morning snuggles
5.) getting stuff done, productivity, in general, which includes all aspects of my creativity, including but not limited to my singing, my writing, my acting, even my garden
6.) Michael at his computer, he looks so cute & it is an image I have become accustomed to
7.) the curiosity of Tansy, its refreshing & not in the least bit entertaining but also is a visible lesson of my need to be awakened each moment to the divine consciousness within and without; to be curious, alive, & fully present
8.) for techies
9.) for my friends & the gifts they offer to the world & universe at large
10.) for finally discovering my true calling, my inner purpose & thus myself, finding true peace & happiness & finally being comfortable with myself
11.) for this day & the expectations it may bring, both good & bad, just the thought of that reality of what may be will be a sign of being fully alive
12.) for Robin Williams & his "spectaculour life" he led, what he taught us about sharing that with the world but not succumbing to our own darkness
1.) the sunlight streaming through the stairway window with the bugs illuminated by the the light. I always have liked that. Its kind of beautiful, in a way. Nature in one of its finest forms, simply glory revealed.
2.) morning coffee
3.) being woken up by Leo wanting breakfast & receiving snuggles
4.) Michael's sense of humor, having a lover & partner that I can infinitely trust, waking up next to him, & especially morning snuggles
5.) getting stuff done, productivity, in general, which includes all aspects of my creativity, including but not limited to my singing, my writing, my acting, even my garden
6.) Michael at his computer, he looks so cute & it is an image I have become accustomed to
7.) the curiosity of Tansy, its refreshing & not in the least bit entertaining but also is a visible lesson of my need to be awakened each moment to the divine consciousness within and without; to be curious, alive, & fully present
8.) for techies
9.) for my friends & the gifts they offer to the world & universe at large
10.) for finally discovering my true calling, my inner purpose & thus myself, finding true peace & happiness & finally being comfortable with myself
11.) for this day & the expectations it may bring, both good & bad, just the thought of that reality of what may be will be a sign of being fully alive
12.) for Robin Williams & his "spectaculour life" he led, what he taught us about sharing that with the world but not succumbing to our own darkness
Sunday, August 17, 2014
7 Days of Gratitude
Of recent days, I've been feeling a little bit of a slump, depression is the clinical word. Whether this has to be with being overly tired from a busy week of "movie-making" or the passing of Robin Williams or even both, doesn't matter. What came to mind as a possible solution (one of many) was to start writing a daily gratitude list in my journal, which then brought about the thought that maybe I should share this thankfulness for the next seven days on this 'here' blog. Instead of or in addition to posting about my ideas on acting, character bios, my times in the "cult", or other aspects of past abuse, or occasionally a plug on "gluten-free eats" (which this blog is somewhat about but not entirely), I decided to put the focus on the gratitude aspect, using the #12 as a limit because, well, as of next Saturday there will be officially twelve doctors so, well, that makes sense to me.
So, without further ado, here goes:
1.) the purple pen I use is epic to write with and indeed makes everything more colorful.
2.) the word "epic"
3.) my ability to write on different levels, ie sexual exploration, Doctor Who fan fiction, spiritual seekings of all varieties, and, of course, my labor of love
4.) the fact that my current partner gives me the time & space I need to create is an act of love from him and I let him have the time to play his cheesy games is an act of love from me
5.) the fact that I don't "have" to clean the kitchen, that I am not a "house-wife" but get to clean the kitchen and make things look nice or rather clean and organized
6.) the thought that I am going to make zucchini bread this week & that I almost referred to it as "bikini bread"
7.) my friends, all of them. the real ones. When they are happy & healthy, especially.
8.) for days off
9.) the fact that I am becoming financially independent & secure
10.) My nieces, especially. Always.
11.) My cats, Leo & Tansy. And good books
12.) For the Doctor, of course.
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