In This Town: Chapter Fourteen: Where do we go from here?

Chapter Fourteen: Where do we go from here?

I lay in my bed, hours later, trying to focus my mind on the book before me. The words losing their meaning before my eyes because of the distraction of my heart. I set the book down and reached for my phone. Staring at it blankly as if willing for it to ring, willing him to call me, to answer the call of my heart, to reach out with the answers to the questions I sought.

The phone rang. I answered.

“Joe!”

He chuckled as he answered, “How the hell are you?”

“Doing all right,” I lied. He saw through that.

“What's up?” he sought the truth.

I hesitated for a moment and then answered,

“I've been thinking about my life here,” I began.

“Yeah?”

“I don't think, I mean, there's not much farther I can go here,” I said slowly. “I've almost gone as high as I can, here.”

“What do you mean?” he asked, and I sensed nervousness in his voice.

“Well, Ed asked if I wanted to relocate,” I said and waited. I heard him suck in his breath but he said nothing. “What do you...I mean...how do you feel about that?”

There was a long pause and I waited anxiously, breathlessly. Finally, he spoke.

“Can I come over? I'd like to see you, right now.”

I smiled to myself and then said, in an anxious whisper, “Please.”

I drew a warm bubble bath while I waited for him, feeling as if I finally had my answer. When I heard the three familiar raps on my door, I greeted him with my bathrobe loose around me. He was leaning against the door frame, holding a bottle of wine white and grinning at me.

“Hey there,” he said. “May I come in?”

“Please do,” I said, moving to the side and he moved into the kitchen, as I closed the door. He brought out two glasses of wine. I stood in the living room, perfectly still, waiting. He stared at me, taking me all in, hungrily, inviting me to speak. Hesitatingly, I finally spoke:

“I have a bath waiting, a bubble bath.”

He walked over to me and kissed me on the forehead, so full of tenderness that my insides melted. We headed into the bathroom and helped each other out of our clothes.

Sitting in the bathtub with the bubbles all around us and sipping our drinks, I looked into his eyes, imploring an answer to what I had asked earlier on the phone. He said nothing, but looked back into my eyes. At last, I set my wine glass down and began, shakily, by saying,

“I want to know...the truth...at last. Even if it hurts.”

“The truth?” He looked me over. “What truth? What do you mean?”

“All of it,” I breathed, anxiously. “What we are? What is this us? Why and...and...How--”

I broke off, not wanting to know the answer to that last question even though whatever it was would make all the difference to my future.

“How? What do you mean 'how'? How what?” He implored me.

I sucked in air and picked up my glass, drew in a large sip as if for confidence, and finally blurted out:

“How do you feel about me, honestly?”

He looked me over, studying, then stroked the side of my face with his soapy hand.

“Don't you know?” He asked, imploringly.

“I'm not sure,” I said, looking down. “I want to hear it.”

He touched my chin and raised my head to face his. Leaning over, he kissed me softly on the lips, trying to insert his tongue in my mouth. I held him back with my hands on his forearms.

“Please, I need to hear,” I said. “Please.”

He looked me over for a moment.

“I want to show you,” he answered at last and leaned over again to kiss me. I held him back from me again and looked into his eyes begging.

He studied me again and finally said, “Anna, you know how I feel, how I've always felt. You are different than anyone I've known before, you complete a part of me no one else can, you are mine and I am yours, so what else matters?”

Looking down, overcome with emotion, I stammered, “I want more.”

“More?” He asked, searchingly. “What do you mean, 'more'?”

“I want,” I began, hesitatingly. “All of you.”

Then, I allowed myself to look at him fully and saw the truth reflected back to me in his eyes. I let him move into me, cradling me in his arms against his chest. He rubbed his hands against my back, full of soap and tenderness. Gently, he kissed the top of my head.

“I love you,” I whispered. He raised my face to his and whispered back, “Likewise.”

Our lips met and I let him part them as our tongues explored each others mouths. The rest of that night was the best I had ever had with him, full of tenderness and passion like none we had ever experienced together, for the truth had finally come out.

As dawn began to break through, I crawled out of the bed in which he lay sleeping beside me. Dressed in my bathrobe, I padded into the living room. While the coffee brewed, I stood at the sliding glass door and looked over the view before me.

Watching the sun break forth over the earth, spreading its light on the land before me, I finally found peace and knew at last what I was to do.   

Near You Always