Just take a look...

Vagina Diaries Day 7

What do you see when you look at me?

Last spring, I ventured down to the thriving metropolis of Eureka, CA with my lovely boyfriend to visit friends.  While there, we went skinny-dipping and nude sunbathing along the infamous Eel River (well, infamous of my youth anyway).  We are a very open bunch, including myself, my boyfriend of 56 years, his good buddy and the buddy's new girl.

While strolling the sandy and rocky beach and attempting to envelope my body in the icy-cold water while shrieking my mezzo soprano voice in response, I found it easier to look at the male packages, ie their private parts which are none to private when nude, hanging as they do loosely from their bodies, rather than look at the parts of my female counterpart.  To the horror of my friends of the lesbian persuasion, I actually find the penis more attractive than the vagina.  For shame, for shame!

At one point, I was sitting on the beach directly in front of the girl who was sunbathing behind me and turning around I happened to catch a glimpse of her nether region.  I immediately looked away, in shame and shock.  This was her private place, a secret part of her, and somewhere you just don't go.  Looking back, it struck me how my view of the moist cavity between the legs is such a region of not only secrecy but shame and fear.

So, last night, when nude modeling (see my day jobs include the variety of nude modeling to substitute teaching, heck its random but I make my own schedule), I laid back with my legs opened slightly, realizing that the artists' could get a pretty wide viewpoint.  This was a shocking thought to me but one of immense freedom.

Look at me, I was saying loudly without words.  Take a look.

It helped bring about healing and awareness of self.  A sense that this part of me was not some forbidden zone but something to be enjoyed and expressed freely and with delicious pleasure.

So, take a look.  Don't be afraid.

What do you see when you look at me?