Sharing Is Caring #recovery #authentichealing #healingtothriving

I used to bite my tongue and hold my breath 
Scared to rock the boat and make a mess
 So I sat quietly, agreed politely

I am a strange one.  Perhaps its the long unfolding journey of recovery I have been on since 2006 when diagnosed with Bipolar, wherein the years unfolding I found myself in a myriad of support group and therapy sessions and found the healing value of authentic sharing.  Truly, Sharing is Caring! Since then, I have never ceased to find value in true, meaningful, and lasting connection with others who have walked a path of tumult similar to mine.  From NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness) support groups, to reaching out to my ex-husband's other ex-wife whom I had never met when I was traveling the difficult process of separating, filing a restraining order, from him, to creating a variety of Facebook groups around 'religious trauma, emotional abuse, mental illness, women growing older, to finding value in re-connecting with old friends leaving the church I was in, I have discovered that this is not necessarily the course of action that others follow.

Many, it would appear, when leaving a stressful situation, deal with the conflict in the moment, set themselves free, perhaps attend some one on one therapy, and move forward with life.  Yet, for me, in my own personal experience, there is so much more value in authentic openness and sharing with other survivors.  There is laughter, holding space in attentive listening, bringing about this immense relief and power of freedom in one's recovery.

I guess that I forgot I had a choice 
I let you push me past the breaking point 
I stood for nothing, so I fell for everything

It is such that I have embarked on weekly recording myself reading through the journals I have written in since 'I was old enough to hold a pen or pencil', (See: Journaling Through The Years) while maintaining the privacy of others mentioned throughout, I dive deep into my inner psyche throughout every stage of my life and reveal, finding that in bringing to the light the darkness truly does lose its power.  This is done not without a sense of shame or remorse, but with the desire to be free from such so that I may continue my life with a lightness of being.

It is with that in mind I continue forward, becoming a facilitator for NAMI's Connection Recovery Support Group, wherein a group of individuals living with mental health conditions of every sort, will gather together each week to find support and hope in their journeys, a family of sorts will be built.  As well, my preparations for the Cafe-Girl Thriving Artists "Artist Soul Coaching & Workshops" where artists of every variety will work upon themselves through the dynamic healing power of all artistic forms, developing true community, and freedom within. (For more: www.cafegirlproductionsinc.com)

Coming alongside you, I invite you to embrace the freedom and healing power found within sharing, being truly heard, and finding the pain of the darkness dissipating, fading away.

You held me down, but I got up (hey) 
Already brushing off the dust 
You hear my voice, you hear that sound 
Like thunder, gonna shake the ground

Katy Perry - Roar(Lyrics) | P!nk...

 

Journaling Through The Years, Episode 49: Middle School Nightmares & Boy...

In this episode, I begin my sharing my thoughts on a story from the previous episode and detail how it has influenced who I am today. Then, I describe a scary situation with a girl from my middle school & close with an update on my boy crushes, which reflects the beginning of my mental health woes. Purchase the wedding dress at: https://www.mercari.com/us/item/m59506542035/ Support Elizabeth Suzanne at: https://www.gofundme.com/f/help-return-elizabeth-to-her-thrive

Journaling Through The Years, Episode 47: Take A Bow, Night Court! #jour...

I start out this episode reflecting on the recent cases of Josh Duggar, Johnny Depp & Amber Heard and express my thoughts on each. Finally, I read an entry about a childhood memory of the ending of my all-time favorite tv show, Night Court, pondering how my hopes & dreams of yester-year have affected who I am & the choices I have made throughout my life, with some regret. Buy My Wedding Dress: https://www.mercari.com/us/item/m59506542035/ Elizabeth Suzanne: Help Elizabeth Return To Her Thrive & Pursue Her Dreams: https://www.gofundme.com/f/help-return-elizabeth-to-her-thrive

Journaling Through The Years, Episode 44: Losing Night Court & Myself

In this episode, I begin by updating on my recovery status from breast reduction surgery, then launch into the journal, giving a basic day to day on life as a young 12 year old heading into middle school, but then take a turn when I reveal my heart for Night Court and acting, and the loneliness that comes from not being able to voice who I really am, which began even way back then. FanGirlHour: https://anchor.fm/fangirling Wedding Dress: https://www.mercari.com/us/item/m59506542035/ Elizabeth Suzanne: Help Elizabeth Return To Her Thrive & Pursue Her Dreams: https://www.gofundme.com/f/help-return-elizabeth-to-her-thrive DJ Michael J. Hearne: DJ Michael J. Hearne, funds go to help secure ongoing housing so focus can be on job stability: https://www.gofundme.com/f/please-help-michael-and-meme-thrive

Journaling Through The Years, Ep. 43: My boobs, My Sonic, & My Wedding D...

In this episode, I begin by sharing the reason why I am so heavily medicated and should be in bed instead of vlogging, which leads to a discussion on long term intentions, the reasoning behind, and how to achieve, basically, enjoy the journey in the getting there. I read an entry of a journal from March 1990 showing my early desire to be an actor and writer, which brings on a discussion on my intuitive self as well as that which tried to silence it. For wedding dress information: https://www.mercari.com/u/916281165/ Gofundmes: Help Elizabeth Return To Her Thrive & Pursue Her Dreams: https://www.gofundme.com/f/help-return-elizabeth-to-her-thrive DJ Michael J. Hearne, funds go to help secure ongoing housing so focus can be on job stability: https://www.gofundme.com/f/please-help-michael-and-meme-thrive

Journaling Through The Years, Ep. 42: The Douglas Adams Edition & Night ...

In this episode, at long last, I figure out the meaning of life, the universe, and everything...42....well, maybe not. Instead I share a recent experience making amends and how it brought about even more healing & self-understanding of my empath abilities, then read an entry of my 11 year old self hoping a girl her age reads her words but she got something else instead, then share my two favorite Night Court Stars, yeah, maybe not. DJ Michael J. Hearne, funds go to help secure ongoing housing so focus can be on job stability: https://www.gofundme.com/f/please-help-michael-and-meme-thrive Help Elizabeth Return To Her Thrive & Pursue Her Dreams: https://www.gofundme.com/f/help-return-elizabeth-to-her-thrive

Journaling Through The Years, Ep. 40: AG Dolls & Who is Jerry Superan TW...

In this episode, I read more of my childhood diary, which starts with my girl-hood self "who shall I marry", which brings about some mirth & curiousity, (um, Oedipus Complex, maybe?), but then suddenly I'm giving the crash course of my life growing up, detailing how & when I met the man I would marry, what the marriage was really like (hint: it wasn't happily ever after), the final entry shows my 11 year old depressed self, a hard reality, of which leads me to close with a promise to my younger self, that my life may be difficult but will have purpose and whole lotta love. Referenced in this vlog: American Girls Podcast: https://www.americangirlspod.com/ Make Me Smile: https://www.facebook.com/selfinflictedsmile If you desire to help some really cool people, try these folks: DJ Michael J. Hearne, funds go to help secure ongoing housing so focus can be on job stability: https://www.gofundme.com/f/please-help-michael-and-meme-thrive Help Elizabeth Return To Her Thrive & Pursue Her Dreams: https://www.gofundme.com/f/help-return-elizabeth-to-her-thrive

Journaling Through The Years, Episode Thirty One: On Hold With Me

In this episode, you get a peek into my life as a business entrepreneur start up person as we wait on hold with the OR business registry, fun times with cool waiting on the line rockin' music. Meanwhile, I continue through the life as a study abroad student in Italy, and somehow, end up discussing relationship addictions, the cause, the way out, leading to intentional relationships. For more information on the links mentioned in this episode: Subscribe to TimeKeys for the upcoming episodes of MindSick & TimeSick here: https://www.youtube.com/c/TimeKeys Find out how to listen to the FanGirlHour, including the upcoming episode with Taylor as well as past episodes, here: https://anchor.fm/fangirling

Subscribe to this youtube channel for Dracula! Also, check out their website: www.wanderlusttheatre.co Listen to Multiamory podcast: https://www.multiamory.com/

Journaling Through The Years, Episode 30: My Italian Savior & The Watch

In today's episode, I start out by sharing the new decorations on my wall, then ponder the upcoming fundie-journals and how that time of my life has actually made a huge difference in a positive way, in shaping my life's purpose (not the way they may have wanted, but still), then dive back into my the journal detailing my time studying abroad in Florence (Firenze), Italy (Italia), which makes me miss the place so much & yeah, I will return 100% as well will voyage through so much of other wonderful places in Europe, like Switzerland, France, Spain, England, Scotland, & of course, Ireland. (Maybe the Northern most places, maybe.) That's a big trip planned for someday...soon....

Journaling Through The Years, Episode 29: Italian Hair-Stylists, Communi...

In this episode, I start a new journal, about my time studying abroad in Firenze, Italia (Florence, Italy). I begin sharing the early days when I was reunited with my Swiss friend, most notable was our trip to the hair salon! I also explain how interesting it was to write the date the way that Europeans do it, plus I witnessed a Communist rally! Crazy! Dedicated to that cool Italian hair-stylist & "Michelle".

Journaling Through The Years Episode 27: Friendship, what is it?

In this episode, I read a 'prologue' from the last high school journal I could find, as of yet, and ponder how my early writings on friendship, relationship, and identity slowly shaped me and have finally taken root. Next week: I read the actual story.

Journaling Through The Years, Episode 23: Don't Blink 182, Fundaze, & F...

Today I start a new journal, yay, no more whale of a time. I reflect once more on the influence of my high school years on Camp, how the reality of being and loving unconditionally someone with whom you just met has shaped my core and my life throughout, I reflect on how my becoming a Fundie (minus the fun) was a tool to shut love out, and note that 23 is the worst age ever, why, because everyone hates you because you are 23. Thanks for watching!

Journaling Through The Years, Episode 22: Life Full Of Love

This week I start out by talking about my dear friend, Christina, who recently passed & whose memory this vlog is dedicated, I share a very erotic & sensual poem, & then some insightful quotes about life & love.

Journaling Through The Years Episode 21: Yearbook Questions, My BIG c...

In this episode, I begin by reading the news for the school news-show where I was anchor. Hope to see you all at the rally! Then, I read some questions I asked other students for Yearbook, the answers were hilarious which launches me down memory lane into my high school adventures to the big city of Santa Rosa, California, dining every weekend at Chevys! Such fun! I reflect on a girl who inspired me to own my truth and walk my path in integrity. This episode dedicated to the best class ever, my class of 97, the fam!

When I recorded this, I had no idea that one of my beloved classmates had gone into the hospital due to Covid19 and would pass away early Saturday morning, 11/20/21. During the filming of this, I am full of joy with the memories of high school and thus dedicated it to my high school class, yet I would like to go a little further and say that it is for my beloved Christina. FanGirlHour: https://anchor.fm/fangirling The Thriving Artist: www.artistthriving.blogspot.com How We Thrive playlist: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLGOU8yQsa5REcAht7h4nhop-N-S6DPwRu

Journaling Through The Years Episode 20: Bad Boyfriend & Ex-Best Friend...

Episode 20: Trigger Content Warning-depression/mental illness/foul language In this episode, I read 'unsent letters' to my second boyfriend, who tragically broke my heart and dated my best friend...an hour after we got together! I really show the origins of my relationship addictions and codependency, taking the blame for everything that happened, their mal-treatment of me, plus my having a depressive breakdown. (Also, I show how much of a Brenda Walsh I really am because of this personal history!) If you or someone you know are struggling with mental health issues, please go to: www.nami.org