Transparen-Me.

 

In a few short months, I will launch upon the world my business's newest service, the life coach and thriving artists workshops.  This coaching and workshops will utilize a variety of artistic means with the intention to birth healing and freedom into the client's or participant's life.  For the last year, I have been busy writing lesson plans and creating a business plan with these new services in mind, updating my social media, website, and business registration with the new name, logo, and means of operation.  Now, with the launch upon me, there is a marked degree of trepidation.  

For the last couple years, even during the pandemic, I have finally found my thrive as a gigworker, establishing myself as a dogwalker/sitter, fine art model, and paid, working actor, resulting in finally feeling stability increasing within myself as well as without.  The act of finally stepping out into a sustainable entrepreneurial life, with past mistakes and setbacks still looming over my head, leaves me with a twinge of anxiety causing me to hold back from taking that risk.

But, risk I shall, because one aspect of all the craziness of the last several years, is that I have become more comfortable in my own skin, with a security in my life and relation priorities, leading to the belief that "you don't have to be an expert, you just have to begin."  Because of this, I have become able to and am continuing to fight off the "imposter syndrome".  (Imposter-Shmoster)

With this newly minted security, I have been able to step back from the toxic and revel in the positive relations and love abounding, finally discovering what true friendship is through the faces of those who have remained or have come into my life bringing with them authenticity and true support.  From those dear friends of mine, I have become to realize that I do have a skill level in helping others to thrive in a very organic and fluid ease of manner.  The core of this natural ability comes forth increasingly from my no longer withholding all of me.

Because of my past history of trauma throughout all of my life, added to that the diagnosis of Bipolar Type 2, I have had a life fraught with a myriad of toxic relations (from familial to romantic and so much in between) causing a life full of despair and drama.  Only in recent years, when with inner strength and resolve I know not how I acquired, I have stood up for myself, said no, turning myself away from all things toxic. 

Furthermore, through this time of the pause in daily life, I have been able to stand in witness to all of my life, recognizing the fullness of the wrongs and harms I caused.  With some marked degree of fear, I have begun the process of revealing all of the harmful and near psychotic ways I have behaved throughout all of my life, with the purpose not of bragging or minimizing, but of truly revealing all of me, showcasing, hopefully, the journey from who I was, whence I came, to where I stand today, more and more self actualized.

So, as I head into this new phase of Cafe-Girl Thriving Artists, LLC, the launch of myself as life coach and workshop facilitator, I know I must voyage in with an increasing desire to be fully authentic, truthful, and transparent in all of what I do.  Knowing fully that some may flee, as I have done such horrific things admittedly, or run out of their own insecurity to not reveal and be transparent, but others will stay, those ready to receive and begin their healing journeys. 

And, with that and my new life motto, "You don't have to be an expert or perfect, you just have to begin," I continue the steps forward in my launch, with gratitude for both the highs and the lows, the victories and failures, of all of me that brought me here today, ready to claim my true thrive and bring that forth for others.  

"For such a time as this" has always been the purpose of my soul's evolution.

My Life

What I choose to do

Is of no concern to you and your friends

Where I lay my hat may not be my home

But I will last on my own

'Cause it's me, and my life

It's my life, it's my life

Name Changes

 

The dawn of a new year is upon us which always causes a time of reflection mingled with the air of celebratory mirth.  Increasingly this year 2021, I have found myself in a phase of evolution, moving further away from who I once thought I was and what I allowed to impact, including the labels I chose for myself and others deemed appropriate, now looking inward and discovering more truths that need to be revealed at last, no longer hidden.  Thus, the evolution stirs a decision to formally change my identity, not just of the words attached towards me that identify but that of my business, Cafe-Girl Productions, Inc.  

As a child, I had a great love for the show, Night Court, as mentioned many, many times, at length, in a variety of capacity.  Once again, when I was a mere young thing, I wished so intensely that the actor, Harry Anderson, was in fact my father, imagining that my name was Elizabeth.  Not sure why I chose that name as a youngster, it just came to me and I claimed it.  Throughout all of my life, I have returned to Elizabeth, even presently, as I go about my day outwardly as Lia, inwardly I feel what life would be like as if I am her, as if all of my life I lived as her and not in the world I did outwardly.  Its as if I can see everything she did, her childhood home, her friends, each memory is vivid and understood within me, somehow.  Parallel universe, perhaps? Who can tell.  But, what I am starting to understand is that as I begin to heal more, I find myself uniting with her more deeply, so that it's less an escape from reality into safety, but rather we are both one.  Thus, I have decided to adopt her identity within mine by adding the name "Elizabeth" to my moniker.  In a very real sense, I am fully engaging every part of me and bringing to the surface, no longer needing to hide or flee.  

More than the inner need of my heart to be true to myself and my calling, I have discovered the powerful truth of the meaning of names and the vibrations heard linked together to impact my soul's truth more deeply.  I have yet to make the official change, for now, legally I am still "Lia Rose Dugal", but the legality of its fullness will come intime.  For now, the change has been made official on social media alone.  

The next revelation came as a shock to me but when it arrived in its fullness I was surprised that I had not recognised outwardly its need.  Over the last two years, I have discovered and am clearly defining the brand and emphasis of my business and entrepreneural endeavors.  It came upon me as a deep revelation that I always knew within that the focus of my business is that of the thriving artist, rather to help artists of every variety seek and love their thrive.  Working with a business advisor, I have discovered that the "productions" name, once fitting for a film company alone, does not fully encompass all that Cafe-Girl seeks to achieve.  My business partners and I have been tossing ideas back and forth that feel more fitting and have narrowed it down to either "Cafe-Girl Thriving Artists, Inc" or "Cafe-Girl Artists, Inc".  Our brand slogan is simply, "Love Your Thrive" so we were debating whether the usage of "thriving" needs to be within the main name itself.   

So, first I want to be a person and businesswoman that hears and takes into consideration those she works and cares for, honoring their input and seeing its validity.  So, in a sense, we decided upon "Cafe-Girl Artists, Inc", but in my head I kept referring to "Cafe-Girl Thriving Artists, Inc", without any effort it flowed from within and then without.  

Throughout these last two years, I have entered fully into recovery, through private therapy as well as self help books galore.  A large facet of this is in committing to fully love and honor myself, being able to receive love from others without feeling an obligation to give back.  Being free to receive is not selfish as I am still a person that gives and loves freely.  Furthermore, there is a necessity within myself to honor my inner voice.  I have toyed with this, feeling that if I voiced my desire for the "thriving" within the name, I would discredit the input and voice of my business partners.  However, the resounding truth kept echoing within my heart, these are true friends, who love, honor, support, and, above all, truly see me, as I truly love, honor, support, and, above all, see them.  Thus, by me laying out my heart to them on this issue, they will not feel unheard or devalued, but will see the need to continue to assure I am valued by them.  Nothing is set in stone as far as the business name change, nor does it have to be deciding upon in this moment, the appropriate name will make itself known in its perfect time.  

In the synchronicity of the changes of identity for myself and business, I have discovered once again the fullness of knowing and being true to oneself within and allowing that to spill outwards.  That, in fact, is the true pathway towards being a thriving artist.

                                                        Rise

    I won't just survive
Oh, you will see me thrive
Can't write my story
I'm beyond the archetype
I won't just conform
No matter how you shake my core
'Cause my roots, they run deep, oh