Showing posts with label Christina Lepe Duarte. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Christina Lepe Duarte. Show all posts

Monday, March 14, 2022

It's okay to be afraid.

 



A childhood friend of mine died last November, of Covid-19. The reality that she died is a concrete reality for all of our lives, for no one makes it out of here alive, as it were. The emotional impact of her death is real no matter the cause. However, Covid-19 is that cause of her death. The very fact of our present reality is that almost a million have died in the United States from Covid-19.

I say this because there are a myriad of folks who have varying beliefs about the nature of Covid-19, ranging from the far extreme craziness of the Q-Anons who believe its a manufactured illness brought about by the baby-blood drinking elite, to those that are a little less fringe but still don't believe its as bad as its detailed and to whom think the mainstream news is bias, to those that follow the status quo, and those somewhere on the other side, on and on it goes in the divisions spreading further apart in our current society.

It's sad, but true.

So, you may ask, what does this have to do with the loss of your friend? Does it seem as if I am using her for some gain of mine own? Well, when folks discuss this whole Covid-19 thing, it's something that hits extremely close to my heart. Furthermore, I WANT to talk about HER. I want her name and legacy to be known. She was such a gift throughout so many phases of my life as well as to many. In addition. I feel strongly that she would love that her life is not in vain, that someone she loved and that loved her, is helping to break others out of their need to hide their insecurities and their fears, to break down the walls of division brought about by anger, to truly bring healing and unity. Yeah, she'd dig that.



968K in the USA.
This is the face of one.
Laura Christine Lepe-Duarte

On Saturday night, I was at a friend's birthday party when another friend started spouting off her rhetoric about how it's about as common to catch and die from Covid-19 as having something fall on your head. That's when I piped up and said, "My friend died from Covid-19 last November."
This woman then went on to explain how Covid-19 deaths are, in fact, rare as well stem from pre-existing conditions. Jokingly, I quipped, "Almost a million deaths rare, right?"

There was mutual respect between us, I never felt a tension at least on my part. We both allowed each other to be heard and for that I am grateful to her for that.

I began to explain to her my belief that on either side there is no real knowing, so much uncertainty in all of this, and that of instability causes fear to rise up, resulting in this natural protective instinct showcasing as sarcastic passive aggression. (Not just for liberals, for conservatives for all, none are immune.)

I want to emphasize that fear is a natural human emotion and one of the most primal. It's a natural protective instinct from way back in the original days of humanity when you had to flee the oncoming saber tooth tiger. And, in this time, when there is so much chaos, new every day seemingly, it is oh so natural to be fearful. The reaction for many, when faced with their fears, is to flee into some form of certainty, scrambling to find normalize in a world where there is none. The very truth of this new reality is there is no going back to what was before, no matter how hard we try.



Our lives have been altered in ways drastic beyond what we ever could imagine in our lifetimes. And, thus, we must act accordingly. For many, all this time spent without the distractions caused a restless anxiety brought upon by being forced to be alone with themselves. So, with the increasing craziness outward, that which we had not looked at within came to the fore-front. Nowhere to run, nowhere to hide, we looked around for someone to blame, yet another means of stemming off the pain, our own inner darknesses.

What I am trying to emphasize is that the root cause of all this animosity and division is the fear within each. The long-set norm of society is to quell those anxieties within, not to look at or admit, and the outward reactivity reflects the tumult within.

But, all this upheaval has brought about the dawn of a brave new world, in which the best thing we CAN do is not to flee from that dark feelings within, but to acknowledge and admit, both to self and to others. The answer, do whatever self care is needed to be able to sit with yourself, quieting the voices within and forgiving oneself, release the need to control and embrace the uncertainty.

For when upon we dwell within, is the beginning of true healing and unity.
 


Now It’s Your Time
(It’s Your Right)
You Can Shine
(It’s Alright)
If You Do
I’ma Do Too


Here's a way to make a difference:

Support for DJ Michael J. Hearne will help him secure regular housing so that he may focus on job security: https://www.gofundme.com/f/please-help-michael-and-meme-thrive
Elizabeth Suzanne suffered a devastating heart-break and tragedy.  She needs a little assistance getting back on her feet: https://www.gofundme.com/f/help-return-elizabeth-to-her-thrive








Monday, November 29, 2021

Every little thing is gonna be all right: Night Court Of Life Lessons Chapter 15

 

It's Gonna Be Okay

The message of today is to meditate on the special unique power of friendship, real, lasting, pure, and unconditional.  The type of friend that will love you with honesty and authenticity, enjoying the times of mirth and good fortunate, weeping over the hard times, and will bluntly tell you when you've gone off the rails into the danger zone.  The characters' and their arcs throughout the run of Night Court OG reflected that.   From the dawn of the first episode through the final episode, they grew through the years as they got to know each other and experienced the peaks and the pitfalls of life.  They were honest enough to help steer someone back on course if they had gone astray or were acting in anyway out of normalcy or with disregard.  In the times when one fell into despair, they were also there to help rebuild and bring them back.  This often expressed itself in many a form based not just on the storyline but also the character themselves.

As I scan through Night Court's IMDB page, I am awash with many examples showing how the characters' demonstrated true friendship and were there for one another when needed.  However, in the instance of time (and yes I can go all day chatting on NC because it's the best ever), I will only showcase a couple.  First, in season two, episode nineteen, "Married Alive", (a personal favorite), Dan meets, falls in love with, and gets engaged to an 'ugly duckling' rich heiriss.  While his friends' doubt his authenticity when it comes to the upcoming nuptials thinking its merely for financial gain, Dan actually has fallen for this woman because he finds in her someone who he can let down his guard and be real with, proving that there is more nuance to Dan than he allows to be seen.  (That's why I love him so much!)  

Dan Fielding: [snaps his fingers] Poof! I mean just like your magic, Harry. She makes my problems disappear, my anxieties subside. I mean God's in his heaven, all is right with the world, there's nowhere to go but up, look for the silver lining, don't give up the ship! And I'll be damned if that's not what each and every one of us is looking for, and I just happened to find mine, so the best of luck to the rest of you. You know that crazy stuff that we all carry around inside of us? That stuff that eats little holes in your brain and churns at your insides? That stuff that you know you cannot possibly tell another living human being? I can tell her. And she listens, and she understands. She says "It's all right. [long pause]It's all right." And it IS.


In the end, it is his fiance' who backs out of the marriage due to her terror when her father threatens to cut her off, leaving Dan heartbroken.   Outwardly, Dan puts on a brave face, but finding himself alone with the pain, he turns to the one friend present, Harry, calling out to him with, "Harry!" who comforts him in return with "It'll be all right, Dan", leaving together with their arms around each others'  shoulders.

The favor is returned to Harry by Dan in season three, episodes nine and ten, "Wheels Of Justice", Harry becomes downtrodden when he sees himself as a failure to a destitute mother and her son and decides to walk away from his bench.  Defiantly, he decides to live his life as a hustler playing pool in a bar and it's only Dan brave enough to stand up against him and with full authenticity he shames and loves his friend back to where he belongs. 


The point of all of this is to show how more often than not it's our friends that we need more than anyone else in times of despair.  Our friends to come around us and build us up with that simple "It'll be all right".  

About a week ago, I lost a good friend from high school from Covid19.  Growing up, I went to a very small and rural school district wherein most of my class knew each other from preschool onwards through high school.  So, the loss of my friend is akin to losing a beloved family member because my classmates and I are a family, even if time and distance has come between.  That weekend I found myself in a place of feeling stymied, unable to really focus, feeling numb and in shock with the absence of her presence in my life.  Sunday morning I went out to my garden to do some winter cleaning and picking of the last fruits of my labor.  The sky was blue and the sun was bright, not too cold yet not too warm.  I stood up from my chores and felt the warmth of the sunlight beaming down upon me and was overcome with this feeling of warmth.  I felt my friend's spirit hug me from within and felt her expressing comfort as she would with: 

"It's gonna be okay, I love you, and thank you."


I will not say that I am completely over my grief, but that moment of comfort where I felt her with me has strengthened my resolve and ability to move forward.  A friend may not pass onward to whatever comes next to be that source of comfort and reprieve, in fact, my sole desire in life is to be present for those dear to me before fading away and to never fail to express verbally and nonverbally how much I love, for its in that that is truly known that:


 "Every little thing is gonna be all right."

Rise up this mornin',
Smiled with the risin' sun,
Three little birds
Pitch by my doorstep
Singin' sweet songs
Of melodies pure and true,
Sayin', "This is my message to you-ou-ou:"
Singin': "Don't worry about a thing, worry about a thing, oh!
Every little thing gonna be all right. Don't worry!"
Singin': "Don't worry about a thing" - I won't worry!
"'Cause every little thing gonna be all right."

Sunday, November 28, 2021

Journaling Through The Years, Episode 22: Life Full Of Love


This week I start out by talking about my dear friend, Christina, who recently passed & whose memory this vlog is dedicated, I share a very erotic & sensual poem, & then some insightful quotes about life & love.

Monday, November 22, 2021

Message from beyond. #christina #geyserville #97rulesforever


When I lose someone close to me, or someone who I valued highly, my grieving process is filled with such deep insights & words from beyond,
as if these beloved souls are lingering & loving me.  There will probably be a few of these in the next several days.

For my class of 97, I am no longer running from you, but running towards you before you fade from me.

Sunday, November 21, 2021

Journaling Through The Years Episode 21: Yearbook Questions, My BIG c...


In this episode, I begin by reading the news for the school news-show where I was anchor. Hope to see you all at the rally! Then, I read some questions I asked other students for Yearbook, the answers were hilarious which launches me down memory lane into my high school adventures to the big city of Santa Rosa, California, dining every weekend at Chevys! Such fun! I reflect on a girl who inspired me to own my truth and walk my path in integrity. This episode dedicated to the best class ever, my class of 97, the fam!
When I recorded this, I had no idea that one of my beloved classmates had gone into the hospital due to Covid19 and would pass away early Saturday morning, 11/20/21. During the filming of this, I am full of joy with the memories of high school and thus dedicated it to my high school class, yet I would like to go a little further and say that it is for my beloved Christina. FanGirlHour: https://anchor.fm/fangirling The Thriving Artist: www.artistthriving.blogspot.com How We Thrive playlist: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLGOU8yQsa5REcAht7h4nhop-N-S6DPwRu