Be Positive?

 

No sugar coating it, the world is one messed up place right now.  Climate change, droughts and the west coast now has five seasons (Fall, Winter, Spring, Summer, Fire), a global pandemic continuing to spread, divisions world-wide on that as well as other political and social issues like never before (or at least as visibly seen), sister against sister, brother against brother, friends turned into enemies, our country on the brink of starting world war three with Russia....maybe....

So, can one truly 'be positive'?  How am I truly positive in the wake of all this? Am I blind or ignorant? Not in the least, but I choose to not allow myself to dwell in a state of helplessness and hopelessness.  I choose to do what I can each day to better myself and what is before me.  That is all I can do.  

This scene from Night Court has been my personal motto: Dan comforts Harry  Specifically, Dan's line: "We can only do what the law allows us to do, that's it" inspires me, motivates me, gets me every time.  And, yes, Night Court is my Numero Uno fandom from my wee childhood days playing pretend Night Court in my basement, so, yes, life lessons galore pour over me with that show, but I think the lesson can apply to all of us.  

"We can only do what the law allows us to do, that's it," says Dan. And, I take it to mean, there is only one of each of us and before us only what we CAN do, nothing more, that's it.  Focus on today, take care of you, of what's around you, seek the beauty in what's in front, seek to discover love within, and let that drive you to love without.  I say with Dan Fielding, 'That's it, it's that simple. Truly it is.'

For myself, I rise each morning to morning yoga and mindfulness meditation, I seek healthy and nourishing food, I exercise daily, I read and take in healthy content, I seek to truly see those around me that I love and who love me back, whose influence is receiving and freely giving without conditions.  From that, the ability to make a change extends outward naturally, weekly I drive down to my local recycling center to unload as much as I can to reduce waste and my footprint upon Mother Earth, I place old food and bird seed out for the animals as well as dishes of water when needed, I cultivate a garden and plant trees, (no longer do I purchase a cut Christmas tree but now do only living each year), I make birthday and holiday cards for all my family and beloved friends, I create film and media projects that uplift and inspire those I love as well as myself, and currently I am running a fundraiser for my dear friend, Michael: Help Michael & MeMe Thrive

It truly is that simple.  Focus on yourself first and then freely the answers to make a difference for the better will come.  Breathe in, breathe out.  Just be and the light of living in the positive, despite the circumstances of hardship whatever they be, will arrive.

The Rainbow Connection

Why are there so many

Songs about rainbows

And what's on the other side

Rainbow's are visions

But only illusions

And rainbows have nothing to hide

So we've been told and some Choose to believe it

But I know they're wrong wait and see

Someday we'll find it

The Rainbow Connection

The lovers, the dreamers and me

Every little thing is gonna be all right: Night Court Of Life Lessons Chapter 15

 

It's Gonna Be Okay

The message of today is to meditate on the special unique power of friendship, real, lasting, pure, and unconditional.  The type of friend that will love you with honesty and authenticity, enjoying the times of mirth and good fortunate, weeping over the hard times, and will bluntly tell you when you've gone off the rails into the danger zone.  The characters' and their arcs throughout the run of Night Court OG reflected that.   From the dawn of the first episode through the final episode, they grew through the years as they got to know each other and experienced the peaks and the pitfalls of life.  They were honest enough to help steer someone back on course if they had gone astray or were acting in anyway out of normalcy or with disregard.  In the times when one fell into despair, they were also there to help rebuild and bring them back.  This often expressed itself in many a form based not just on the storyline but also the character themselves.

As I scan through Night Court's IMDB page, I am awash with many examples showing how the characters' demonstrated true friendship and were there for one another when needed.  However, in the instance of time (and yes I can go all day chatting on NC because it's the best ever), I will only showcase a couple.  First, in season two, episode nineteen, "Married Alive", (a personal favorite), Dan meets, falls in love with, and gets engaged to an 'ugly duckling' rich heiriss.  While his friends' doubt his authenticity when it comes to the upcoming nuptials thinking its merely for financial gain, Dan actually has fallen for this woman because he finds in her someone who he can let down his guard and be real with, proving that there is more nuance to Dan than he allows to be seen.  (That's why I love him so much!)  

Dan Fielding: [snaps his fingers] Poof! I mean just like your magic, Harry. She makes my problems disappear, my anxieties subside. I mean God's in his heaven, all is right with the world, there's nowhere to go but up, look for the silver lining, don't give up the ship! And I'll be damned if that's not what each and every one of us is looking for, and I just happened to find mine, so the best of luck to the rest of you. You know that crazy stuff that we all carry around inside of us? That stuff that eats little holes in your brain and churns at your insides? That stuff that you know you cannot possibly tell another living human being? I can tell her. And she listens, and she understands. She says "It's all right. [long pause]It's all right." And it IS.

In the end, it is his fiance' who backs out of the marriage due to her terror when her father threatens to cut her off, leaving Dan heartbroken.   Outwardly, Dan puts on a brave face, but finding himself alone with the pain, he turns to the one friend present, Harry, calling out to him with, "Harry!" who comforts him in return with "It'll be all right, Dan", leaving together with their arms around each others'  shoulders.

The favor is returned to Harry by Dan in season three, episodes nine and ten, "Wheels Of Justice", Harry becomes downtrodden when he sees himself as a failure to a destitute mother and her son and decides to walk away from his bench.  Defiantly, he decides to live his life as a hustler playing pool in a bar and it's only Dan brave enough to stand up against him and with full authenticity he shames and loves his friend back to where he belongs. 

You Twerp

The point of all of this is to show how more often than not it's our friends that we need more than anyone else in times of despair.  Our friends to come around us and build us up with that simple "It'll be all right".  

About a week ago, I lost a good friend from high school from Covid19.  Growing up, I went to a very small and rural school district wherein most of my class knew each other from preschool onwards through high school.  So, the loss of my friend is akin to losing a beloved family member because my classmates and I are a family, even if time and distance has come between.  That weekend I found myself in a place of feeling stymied, unable to really focus, feeling numb and in shock with the absence of her presence in my life.  Sunday morning I went out to my garden to do some winter cleaning and picking of the last fruits of my labor.  The sky was blue and the sun was bright, not too cold yet not too warm.  I stood up from my chores and felt the warmth of the sunlight beaming down upon me and was overcome with this feeling of warmth.  I felt my friend's spirit hug me from within and felt her expressing comfort as she would with: 

"It's gonna be okay, I love you, and thank you."

I will not say that I am completely over my grief, but that moment of comfort where I felt her with me has strengthened my resolve and ability to move forward.  A friend may not pass onward to whatever comes next to be that source of comfort and reprieve, in fact, my sole desire in life is to be present for those dear to me before fading away and to never fail to express verbally and nonverbally how much I love, for its in that that is truly known that:

 "Every little thing is gonna be all right."

Rise up this mornin',
Smiled with the risin' sun,
Three little birds
Pitch by my doorstep
Singin' sweet songs
Of melodies pure and true,
Sayin', "This is my message to you-ou-ou:"
Singin': "Don't worry about a thing, worry about a thing, oh!
Every little thing gonna be all right. Don't worry!"
Singin': "Don't worry about a thing" - I won't worry!
"'Cause every little thing gonna be all right."

Every Little Thing Is Gonna Be All Right

What Friends Are For: Night Court Of Life Lessons Chapter Thirteen

 

Good friends stick by your side through life's journey, calling you out when you go astray, lifting you up in times of heartache, and cheering you on when the glorious finished line is achieved with true heartfelt satisfaction

Oh, the power of friendship!  What can be said about the notion of good, solid friendship?  How can it be defined and explained in mere words what is felt within?

Friendship, merely platonic, is somehow seen as less important than other connections, be they romantic or familial, yet the import of a good friend is so necessary for one's soul's evolution.  A good friend straightens your tie or your skirt before you head into a big meeting, cheers you on when you glance back for encouragement, loves you no matter what may come, and sees value in you even when your exterior choices seems so undesirable.

Looking at the Dan Fielding character of it all, his sex-crazed, seemingly narcissistic ploys for power, one wonders why his colleagues maintained any sort of connection outside of the necessary work relationship, but thus they did.  Because underneath it all, as we have seen and continue to see revealed throughout the series, Dan Fielding bore a heart of good and fierce loyalty to do what's right, even if it meant sacrificing his own desires at times.  Thus, there was always a limit to his perceived slimy drives and usually were reached when his actions would cause harm to another.  His friends saw that happen time after time and thus were patient during each new undertaking because they knew the power of good would win the day overall.

Dan was not the only character that saw the power of good friendship given to him.  Each character felt the longlasting effect of being apart of Judge Stone's courtroom, including Stone himself.  (Just as each actor (and most likely the crew) felt the longlasting effect of being cast in Night Court, including Anderson himself.) Whether it be, patiently waiting for Dan to grasp the moral choice in his graspings, whether it be Christine's giving birth in an elevator, endlessly attempting to educate Bull on what a sex change was yet to no avail, or endearing the myriad of Harry's magic tricks again and again, true friendship stayed and saw through the person's exterior, time and time again. 

Thus, they grew to one another as a whole, recognizing that each is full of nuance, not merely good or bad, and each capable of ever evolving into something better.  From this, we can conjecture that good friends stick by your side through life's journey, calling you out when you go astray, lifting you up in times of heartache, and cheering you on when the glorious finished line is achieved with true heartfelt satisfaction.

That's What Friends Are For

We're your friends

We're your friends

We're your friends to the bitter end

When you're alone

Who comes around

To pluck you up

When you are down

And when you're outside, looking in

Who's there to open the door?

That's what friends are for!

For more of chapters about the power of friendship within Night Court, check out Wisdom From Night Court , Life Is Short; Hug A Friend, and Family Is Thicker Than Blood

Dreams Don't Just Happen: Night Court Of Life Lessons Chapter Eight

Hard Work Pays Off, Just Ask Dan

Say what you want about him, love him or hate him or even both, Dan Fielding is a hard worker, diligently doing what he has to elevate his position.  Along the way, it may appear as if his soul has been lost but it's only momentarily mired in the mud of the endless pursuit, for when it is necessary, once again it emerges prevailing doing what's right.

As we learn throughout the seasons, Dan is a self-made man, building himself by his own blood, sweat, and tears having literally come up from being dirt poor.  That's right, his father was a dirt farmer, who never could really amount to anything or get anything growing on his property.  However, unsuccessful his parents were at running a farm, they were successful at child-rearing because they gave all they had to help start Dan out, from there every gain he has received has been with every effort of his own.  Yet, with such focus he found great success and gain.

It's an old trope, "hard work pays off" especially in western cultures, that of hard work is rewarded and laziness is considered a weakness leading to failure.  "You never fail if you just try", another quips.  Furthermore, dreams don't come true merely by imagining, but those imaginings are what propel us ever forward to take each step necessary to reach our ambitions.  At times, the road seems fraught with peril and we are want to throw in the towel, feeling as if no end is in sight to reach our desired destinations.

Currently, I find myself in that frame of mind, having sat here at this computer, working steadily on various content projects feeling as if I can never quite move forward far enough, yet at the same time that my intentions seem not so far off simultanously it feels as if they keep moving just a little bit farther the closer I get to it.  Maddeningly at times, truly.  

Yet, as I write this, hilariously I am finding strength by looking at the character of Dan Fielding, who came up from dirt and pulled himself by his own bootstraps to pursue his career ambitions.  So, too, I could look at John Larroquette, the man who has inspired my acting ambitions, has worked steadily for over forty years, pursuing his dreams as an actor, one job after the next, successfully killing it along the way (sometimes not, remember the talk show debacle).  

So, my friend, when you find yourself downtrodden, discouraged, turn on Night Court season one and episode one, follow Dan Fieldings  journey throughout the years and see how a lot of striving and scheming was truly driven by an unwavering belief in reaching his desired destination.

Every step I'm taking

Every move I make feels

Lost with no direction

My faith is shaking

But I, I gotta keep trying

Gotta keep my head held high

There's always gonna be another mountain

I'm always gonna wanna make it move

Always gonna be an uphill battle

Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose

Ain't about how fast I get there

Ain't about what's waiting on the other side

It's the climb

The Climb

Only do what you can do: Night Court Of Life Lessons Chapter One

Dan talks to Harry

Right then, here we go.  My first entry in my series on all the lessons I learned from Night Court.  I have spoken profusely in the past about how this show, among others, stands the test of time as my favorite all time show because ultimately it was the first, myself finding it a tender young age, to experience quality in every facet of artistic creation.  And, thus it went deeper than that.  Falling into my desired hope for Harry as father, being influenced by the female characters as strong and able to stand their own aside the boys, choosing acting as my career path because of John Larroquette, the influence of the comedy on my writing, I could go on...

Today, I want to share this lesson, one that strikes my heart deeply especially in my current phase of recovery from codependency and relationship addictions.  Furthermore, as an empath, I have had the propensity in the past to care more for others than myself and need to rescue as a means to distract from my own pain.  This resulted in my entire being and energy force being drained from me.  

After the death of Harry Anderson in 2018, I scoured Youtube for clips of him in Night Court, as well as other forms of entertainment.  The above clip really spoke to me, especially at the end when Dan admits how much he admired Harry, sharing that he was "good, impartial, fair, patient, compassionate, understanding" which felt as if John Larroquette was sharing that about his beloved departed castmember and friend.  Perhaps there is some nugget of truth within that for him yet I do not know for certain, but I do know that those were very words were what I wished to express to Harry Anderson.

Yet, today's focus is on this line of Dan Fielding:

"We can only do what the law will allow us to do."

Indeed, as I have mentioned, as an empath I find myself overdoing my caring and rescuing for another, at the expense of the self.  In this scene, Harry represents that facet of myself, filling more of the burnt out empath role.  As those working in the legal profession in this storyline, Dan tried to explain how fortunate it was that there is a boundary limiting what is allowed, something the codependent and empathic struggle with defining and maintaining.  As Harry balks at this, mourning the loss of the murdered child, Dan shows his heartbreak over that loss yet stands firm in the necessity and power of the law to serve.  Not all can be saved by us, he emphasizes and encourages, yet we still persevere and, in the end, do make a difference.  In classic Dan Fielding, this is expressed through chiding Harry over his "Savior Complex" mentality, wounding Harry which shows Dan he's making an impact whether admitted or not.  

A secondary lesson yet one that is equally of import is the value of a good friend to encourage and admonish when going through struggles, to uplift through authentic honesty.  It's Dan that remains after the others leave, Dan that is not afraid to call Harry out yet underneath that is his compassion to comfort Harry.  Through this, Harry heals and is strengthened, returning to his position as judge, having learned the valuable lesson of setting boundaries within giving, that all have their path to follow, and that we are not meant to be the rescuers and saviors for all.

This is easier said than done.  In our personal lives, it is difficult to put into practice boundary setting without feeling that tug of guilt.  For in the context of Night Court, they had the law on their side establishing that boundary, as Dan explained.  Out of this context, it is our most important duty to establish our own boundaries to protect our hearts and our heart.  For without true personal self care, one cannot be truly of service to another.  

Without taking the time to  heal within, there is no strength to heal without.  

 

Wisdom From Night Court

 

Over the last few months of this year, I have finally been able to re-watch Night Court reruns, having not been able to since the death of the magical Harry Anderson in 2018, due to grief and the time  needed to heal.  Through the wonders of streaming services, my partner and I have been able to purchase and watch seasons of the episode, starting with season one, through Amazon. 

To say that it has helped fulfill the lonely pang of my heart fraught during this time of recovery would be insufficient in itself.  The magnitude of what that little courtroom comedy inspired and gave to me first as a child, as I grew into my creative profession, and now in this time of healing early trauma is beyond comprehension.  But, thus it does, to which the majority of such comes hence from the magical human that was Harry Anderson, whose presence fills up the rest of the cast to their fullness of capability and creation.  I don't mean to lessen their talent and worth, for on their own they are some of the most talented performers I have yet to see (yes, my bias is apparent here somewhat), but even so, within that talent alone could not suffice if it wasn't for Harry.  There are certain breeds of human throughout this existence of time we spend on this blue and green marble of which we abide that have a spark about them that carries with it the power to uplift and encourage with mirthful love.  Harry Anderson was such and his Harold T. Stone was that such embodiment.  (With no respect towards Melissa Rauch and those involved with the reboot, they have an uphill battle to showcase the sequel with the absence of him.)

As a child, I could not express fully into words or thoughts why I loved the show so yet my heart and emotion knew.  I longed for and needed the comfort found in the presence of Harry and his courtroom.  As I grew as an actor and writer, I see now how the effects of the talent both onscreen and offscreen affected my creative evolution.  As I watch the episodes today, I understand more fully just how divinely perfect the fullness of the show appears, from the writing, the acting, and so much more.  The different cast members who came and went throughout the years, whether it be by death or some other reason, until the right cast was discovered, I can now see just how each character that was brought in was needed to complete the happy arrangement.  For example, Harry, with only Dan Fielding and Bull Shannon as his male counterparts, was lacking, he needed a buddy with a similar mindset and wavelength of which he need not always rescue, assist, or advice, but one who could share the burden of such while also helping him to laugh at the foibles.  Enter Mac Robinson.  As I mentioned earlier, the rest of the castmembers that came along that filled the cast as we recall it most fondly were that which rounded out the Night Court family, nothing against the actors who were a part for a brief time, but in the grand scheme of it all, the right actors that found their way at last to Night Court were what was meant to be. 

Why can I say this?  Because as I watch the reruns, I am struck with the deep love and enjoyment that seems to be infusing out of each actor for each other as they perform together, which colors how their characters feel for each other as well.  As a performer in both film and stage, I have felt this communion with my cast and crew members, a familial bond forms that never dies even with the final curtain call and credit roll.  That is such I see as I watch the old reruns of my beloved courtroom comedy, which is apparent also in the social media posts I read by the remaining cast members as they pore out their grief over the losses of their family.  

This I saw watching episode nineteen of season two, "Married Alive" last night which featured prominently the storyline of Dan Fielding, always bound to be good especially for this Larroquette Fan Girl.  In my opinion, John Larroquette is one of the most talented actors I have ever seen on TV or film, more recognition of that needs to be made apparent today!  It is often wondered how the character of Dan Fielding would fare in today's social climate, with its #metoo worldview and other such reality.  The more I re-watch Night Court I am struck with the reality that Larroquette's Dan is not as problematic as one would think in today's standards and perhaps was more so back then.  He was self-seeking, always trying to get ahead by any means necessary, and most definitely, a horny little devil.  But underneath it all, beat a heart of gold with an extreme sense of honor to his work and loyalty to those he loved.  None other could show this dichotomy of character so expertly as John Larroquette did.  In last night's episode, Dan finds himself in the presence of an socially awkward heiress who he courts with the attempts to better his financial situation, to the disdain and disgust of his courtroom counterparts, most specifically that of Billie Young.  But, as the relationship unfolds for Dan and wedding bells are put on the table, something unexpected occurs, he falls for her.  As he shares with his colleagues in a heart-wrenching, time-stopping, silencing monologue:

Dan Fielding: Yeah okay, okay, I get the picture. And I even understand why you feel this way. I'm not saying there aren't differences. Socially she's a little... underprivileged. But when we're alone, I feel good. Very good. Relaxed, wanted, and accepted. [snaps his fingers] Poof! I mean just like your magic, Harry. She makes my problems disappear, my anxieties subside. I mean God's in his heaven, all is right with the world, there's nowhere to go but up, look for the silver lining, don't give up the ship! And I'll be damned if that's not what each and every one of us is looking for, and I just happened to find mine, so the best of luck to the rest of you. You know that crazy stuff that we all carry around inside of us? That stuff that eats little holes in your brain and churns at your insides? That stuff that you know you cannot possibly tell another living human being? I can tell her. And she listens, and she understands. She says "It's all right. [long pause] It's all right." And it IS.

The episode was chock full of the highs and lows of the nuance of Dan Fielding, I found myself in side splitting gut busting laughter, almost to rolling about the floor, tears rolling down my face, then the silence befall as I took in the above monologue, and lastly real tears caught in my throat at the close of the show.  In the final moments of the show, Dan's fiance calls of the wedding, a human being he has allowed himself to fall for and feel closer to than anyone else, breaks his heart, leaving him lost and dejected.  Momentarily, he finds reprieve in a cute blonde who comes begging for a date, leaving Billie Young and Selma Hacker with much disgust.  But, as they walk out the door leaving him alone with Harry, the two men start to exit when suddenly Dan expels a tearful, "Harry!" and Harry immediately puts his arm about Dan with the comforting "It'll be okay, Dan!"  And, together they walk out the door arms about each other.

That love of one another, both character and especially actor, was apparent in that scene.  The depth of the love and appreciation I have for the show deepened then more fully in that moment than ever before, a show with such beautiful acting, exquisite comedic timing, and great writing, demonstrating the camraderie that the togetherness of creating is truly built upon, never fades, nor dies.  I started to ponder how painful it must have been for John Larroquette to walk back onto a similar set for the sequel, to be alone with a new cast and to be hit with the difference therein.  He's acted in other series and films so much since the original Night Court ended, but to be back in a place where so much love, laughter, and life was shared and to know that never will the faces of those you loved, who supported you, walked with you is painful.  Around each corner did he expect to find one of them, to find Harry, ready with a magic trick, a joke, or a hug.  So, wondering that in my heart, a sob caught in my throat.

But, more immediately hearing Harry's comforting words, "It'll be okay, Dan!" brought upon the strongest wave of heartbreak.  All of my life those were the words I wished for more than ever from him.  Could I get that on a soundbite then, "It'll be okay"?  Such that I could play Harry's words over and over whenever I need them, a sense of comfort and encouragement, a meditation.

It may be that in this time we find ourselves parasocial relationships seem perhaps more paramount than ever before, however, I believe that all connections we make are for purposes decreed from before, a soul contract of connection, whether that be in our personal life or more external.  Nothing that the heart attaches itself to is accidental, but all has a purpose, a lesson, to assist in one's personal evolution towards reaching the higher self.

My Favorite Song

Hear more about my love for Night Court as well as other fandoms of myself and my friends on the podcast, FanGirlHour

"Your Heart is Your Truest Self,

Trust In That Alone

Make Your Dreams A Reality!"