Preparing For The Apocalypse: Or How To Fight The (Toxic) Patriarchy, Part Two

 

As I was preparing for the next entry in this series, I was meditating further on what else is needed to prepare for the coming apocalypse, so much is needed both internally and externally.  But, as I go about my day, the resounding theme that comes to the fore-front following the need for 'self-care' is the vastness of community.  

Merriam-Webster defines "Community" as: 
: a unified body of individuals: such as
a
: the people with common interests living in a particular area
broadly : the area itself
the problems of a large community
b
: a group of people with a common characteristic or interest living together within a larger society
a community of retired persons
a monastic community
c
: a body of persons of common and especially professional interests scattered through a larger society
the academic community
the scientific community
d
: a body of persons or nations having a common history or common social, economic, and political interests
the international community
e
: a group linked by a common policy
f
: an interacting population of various kinds of individuals (such as species) in a common location

Thus, the idea of community spans wide.  Personally, I have always thought of community as simply "common unity" and what a better unifier of commonality than the dreaded existential reality of doom we collectively face in our country and world upcoming. 

So, it's the coming together in that collective brokenness, of truly, authentically listening, being present, holding space, hearts, and each other.  In small quiet moments and sometimes large, seeking ways to give love and support, an ever present reminder that we are not alone, together in our suffering, we will overcome.

Rainbow Connection with lyrics By Sarah Mclachlan

What's so amazing that keeps us stargazing?
And what do we think we might see?

Journaling Through The Years Episode 27: Friendship, what is it?

In this episode, I read a 'prologue' from the last high school journal I could find, as of yet, and ponder how my early writings on friendship, relationship, and identity slowly shaped me and have finally taken root. Next week: I read the actual story.

We Are All Connected; Soul Contracts: Night Court Of Life Lessons Chapter Nine

 

We Are All Connected; Soul Contracts

Over the last several years, I have been deep diving into all variety of spiritual and philosophical text for my  personal desire deep within to learn, to understand.  Of those texts, I have come upon the belief of soul contracts, which is the notion that before we incarnate into our lifetimes, we make agreements with ourselves and others about the purpose we will be on the planet within and without.  Furthermore, the relationships we form have been bonded by a contract before our time began.  

Okay, I know that sounds very woo but for me it bears further study as it affords me a degree of comfort within which infuses a sense of peace for all of my life's doings and interactions, positive and negative.  Thus, I believe that all that I have done and all who I have met, I established a contract with each before incarnating here and these connections serve as lessons to help our soul's evolution.  Many who share this belief see it as a contract with those within our inner circle, such as family of origin, school friends, or work colleagues.

Bear with me now, I believe that one could take this belief further and state that others that have affected us on a deeply profound level however the connection have made a soul contract with us.   For me, above, the cast of Night Court (of all seasons) shares this distinction, nor do I think myself alone the sole proprietor of such contract.  In the last several months, I have had the opportunity to witness as many share their heartfelt connection with Night Court, from one who was inspired to become an actress to another who felt a strong connection to Richard Moll as ideal father and a myriad of others in between.  Thus, if nothing else the contracts agreed upon with the cast of Night Court fulfilled the purpose of uniting myself and these fellow Night Court fan souls together.

Now, I don't mean to say that it's just this show of which holds a special spiritual connection. My podcast, FanGirlHour, holds space for all people to share their special connection with their fave fandom and how it personally has made a difference in their life.  However, this blog series is detailing the lessons gleaned from Night Court, so thus the focus is with those soul contracts therein.

The moment that each castmember signed their actor contract with the network for their run on Night Court, so to the contract agreed upon before coming down to earth found its fulfillment and eventual fruition.  That isn't to say that Night Court alone was their one contract made before incarnation, of course not, but that agreement was not made for me or with me so it bears no real significance upon me.

However, as mentioned above, the amount of souls I have come across recently who, like myself, have been deeply and profoundly touched, impacted by these particular souls, these actors, who brought us joy, taught us the lessons of life through TV storytelling, and who broke our hearts as we mourn their passing.  These individuals' have shaped our innermost world and influenced our lives with such degree.

Perhaps, it may be more comfortable to refer to it in other terms, such as parasocial relationships:

Parasocial relationships are one-sided relationships, where one person extends emotional energy, interest and time, and the other party, the persona, is completely unaware of the other's existence.

Whatever your belief, whatever wordings used, I believe similar lessons are reached.  For my part, personally, I choose to dwell with the belief of soul contracts with all those who have impacted one's life, as that seems so much more meaningful and deeply impactual on a grander level beyond this lifetime.  

However, either way you shake it, it is completely healthy, normal, and above all, a part of the human condition to make such an agreement and connection.  Let none say otherwise.

For all souls on this earth from every moment, every time have their purpose and all are connected.

The Rainbow Connection

What's so amazing
That keeps us star gazing
And what do we think we might see
Someday we'll find it
That Rainbow Connection
The lovers the dreamers and me
All of us under its spell
We know that it's probably magic

Nate & Laura & How They Met

Act Two, Scene Three

Exterior: Outside Kiyah's house, same day.

(Laura, in work out clothes, carrying latte, walks hand in hand with Nate, with latte.  They are laughing and enjoying each others company.)

NATE

So, can I call you?

LAURA

Yeah, I'd like that.  My number--

NATE

I have it.

LAURA

How?

NATE

Lucy.

LAURA

Ah.  So, um--

NATE

What are you doing later?

LAURA

Later?

NATE

Like, you want to hang out again or---

LAURA

Yeah, that could be fun.

NATE

Could be?

LAURA

Yeah, could be. I might have some time tomorrow...another day off, two in a row!

NATE

Nice.

LAURA

Yeah, so maybe we can hang out, then, yeah?

NATE

Yeah.

Fade Into:

Interior: Kiyah's living room.

(Kiyah is on phone, pacing.)

KIYAH

Oh my god...no...yeah...yeah.  Okay, what time?...No, no, don't even think about...I'll be there.  Of course, of course....no, don't do that...Luc...love you too, hon.  See you tomorrow.

(Kiyah hangs up, turns and sees Laura and Nate enter, laughing. She freezes emotionally when she sees them, they stop awkwardly, she shakes herself.)

Hey, Laura.  Nate.  Look, that was Lucy, she's got to go talk to the lawyer about Eddie shit tomorrow and wants me to come along for support, you know.  So, sorry to have to do this, but do you think you can cover my shift? I'll make it up to you.

LAURA

Yeah, um, of course.  Anything for Lucy.  So, she's seeing a lawyer?

KIYAH

Custody battles and all the fun.  I hope the creep loses everything, serves him right.

LUCY

Yeah.

NATE

So, I'll have to watch the kids?

KIYAH

You'll have to ask Lucy, but yeah, you will probably have to do your job instead of--

Nate

Instead of...what?

KIYAH

Nothing, nothing. I was just...nothing.

NATE

Okay...?  So, maybe not tomorrow, then, Laura...

LAURA

How about tomorrow night?

KIYAH

Tomorrow night?

NATE

Yeah.  Dinner? My treat.

LAURA

Wow, yeah, that'd be great. What time?

NATE

Can you come to my place around, I don't know, 7? I make the world's best lasagna.

LAURA

Can't wait to be the judge of that!

NATE

So, see you then.

LAURA

Yeah.

(They smile at each other, then turn to look at Kiyah, awkwardly, waiting to see if she will leave the room.  She doesn't, so they share a quick hug.)

NATE

Well, bye.

LAURA

Bye.

(Nate exits front door.)

KIYAH

Wait, what the hell just happened? Were you actually talking to Nate?

LAURA

Yeah...

KIYAH

In my living room? Talking to him?

LAURA

Yeah...

KIYAH

And, did you actually just make a real live date, in my living room, talking to Nate?

LAURA

Yeah.

KIYAH

Wow.  That's an improvement.

LAURA

Yeah, well blame Samantha.

Fade Into:

Interior: Law offices, a desk, two chairs.  Mrs. Beasly and Lucy sit in chairs, Mr. Edward Flinch sits behind desk, an older tired man who has been practicing law for many years, he's seen it all, and just wishes for the end to come.  Through the window of his office, Kiyah can be seen in the lobby waiting.

LUCY

So, what you are saying is that its impossible to gain full custody of my kids---

EDWARD FLINCH

Impossible, no.  Uphill battle, yes.  You will have to prove that he is unfit to parent--

LUCY

He's a violent alcoholic who hasn't held a job in years.

EDWARD FLINCH

You'd be surprised what people can get away with when they put a mind to it.  At best, we can try for 100% custody with supervised visits from the father.

LUCY

I don't know.

MRS. BEASLEY

Hear the man out, Luc.

EDWARD FLINCH

For any other attorney, that'd satisfy.  But, you are dealing with Edward Flinch, I'm no novice, Lucy, I can provide you above what you require.

LUCY

Wow, uh, thank you.

MRS. BEASLEY

Don't worry about the cost, Luc.  We just need to keep you and my grand-babies safe.

LUCY

Um, all right.

EDWARD FLINCH

So, paperwork, timeline, let's talk.

Fade into:

Interior: Lobby of Law Offices

(Lucy and Mrs. Beasley walk out of office.  Lucy is a little stunned.  Kiyah approaches her, hugs her.)

KIYAH

You okay?

LUCY

I don't know.

KIYAH

Need a drink?

LUCY

Yeah, I think so.  Nate can watch the kids tonight, probably, right?

KIYAH

Oh yeah, shouldn't be a problem.

LUCY

I'll just send him a text.

KIYAH

You do that.

MRS. BEASLEY

Thanks for looking after her, Kiyah.  You are a good friend.

KIYAH

I do my best.

MRS. BEASLEY

You are wonderful.

LUCY

Nate just texted me, he said he made plans tonight?

KIYAH

Well.

LUCY

It is technically his time off.

KIYAH

Yeah, but you are his boss. So?

MRS. BEASLEY

I could watch--

KIYAH

So, he has to do what you say, kind of, you know.

LUCY

You wouldn't mind, Mom? Yeah, Kiyah, but I don't want to be that kind of boss.  He's already gone over and above what I asked of him.

MRS. BEASLEY

No, its no problem at all.

KIYAH

No, of course not.

Fade Into:

Interior: Nate2's bedroom

(Samantha is asleep, Nate2 rolls over and kisses her face.)

SAMANTHA

Oh, good morning.

NATE2

Yes, yes it is.

SAMANTHA

You are incorrigible.

NATE2

And, so are you.

(They start to make-out.)

Fade into: Lucy and Kiyah's store, an hour later.

(Laura is putting clothes away on the rack, no customers, she is walking listlessly around store, trying to keep busy, make the time go by.  Samantha bangs on the window, startling Laura, Samantha waves enthusiastically.  Laura signals for her to come in.)

(Enter Samantha.)

LAURA

Geez, Samantha, what's going on? Wait a minute, aren't those the same clothes you wore for your coffee date with Nate...oh my god, you didn't?

SAMANTHA

It was quite the coffee date!

Laura

Well, we are quite the different species, aren't we?

SAMANTHA

How so? Oh, because I go all in and you hesitate like woah.

LAURA

Yeah, something like that.

SAMANTHA

So, Nate...my Nate, is playing with his band tonight at the Palisades.  You want to come with?

LAURA

Uh, I can't.

SAMANTHA

Okay, maybe I'll ask Ashley.  Haven't seen her in awhile? I wonder what's up with that girl.  Eh, maybe busy with school...wait, why can't you?

LAURA

I, um, am having dinner with, um, Nate.

SAMANTHA

Your Nate?

LAURA

Yeah, yeah...my Nate.

SAMANTHA

High five.

LAURA

Really? We're doing that.

SAMANTHA

Just humor me.

(They high five.)

Fade into: Backyard of Lucy's house

(Mrs. Beasley approaches Nate's granny unit.  A young man pops his head over neighbor's gate.)

NATE3

Hey there, Mrs B.  How's Lucy and Eddie and the kids?

MRS. BEASLEY

Lucy and the kids are hanging in there.  Eddie isn't around anymore.

NATE3

Wow,I'm sorry to hear about that.

MRS.BEASLEY

I'm not.

(Nate comes out of his granny unit, with Stephen and Adam.)

ADAM

Grandma!!

MRS.BEASLEY

Hello sweetie!

NATE

Hi, Mrs. Beasley.  Thanks for taking the kids.  I would watch them, but I've got this--

MRS.BEASLEY

Don't mention it, Nate.  You've been amazing.  And, please call me Sondra.

NATE

Oh, okay, Sondra.

NATE3

Whose the new guy, Mrs. B?

(Mrs. Beasley cringes and looks at Nate. She sighs.)

MRS.BEASLEY

Nate, this is Lucy's neighbor, Nate.

NATE3

Your name is Nate too?

NATE

Yeah, that's right.  How funny!  I met another guy yesterday with that name.

NATE3

The Nates are taking over.

NATE

Yeah.

NATE3

Total Nate Domination.

NATE

DomiNATEion!

MRS.BEASLEY

Oh dear.  Let's go, Adam.

(She takes Stephen out of Nate's hands and heads for her car.)

ADAM

Bye Nate, see you later, Mr. Alligator.

NATE

In awhile, Mr. Crocodile!

NATE3

Cute kid.  You are?

NATE

Uh, Lucy's manny, um, nanny, male nanny.

NATE3

Nice!  Lucy's great.

NATE

How long have you lived here?

NATE3

Its my parents' place.  I moved back in after the wife split.  I'm in and out actually.

NATE

Yeah, sorry to hear about the marriage ending.

NATE3

Thank you, but its for the best.

NATE

So, what do you do?

NATE3

Hotel clerk by day, writer by night.

NATE

Awesome.  Written anything lately?

NATE3

It's all up here, man.

(He taps his forehead.)

The trick is getting it out.  But, yeah, I got some projects.

NATE

Awesome.  This is such an art town.  I just moved here and...you wouldn't believe it, but I got cast in this film project, a web-series.

NATE3

Rock on, man!  Who with?

NATE

Its a student project.  Girl named, uh, Ashley and--

NATE3

Ashley?

NATE

Yeah, you know her?

NATE3

I might. Last name?

NATE

You know, its kind of embarrasing but I don't know that. I should, I really should but---

NATE3

Ah, no worries. But, congrats, man. So, what you got going on tonight?

NATE

Um, actually I am sort of seeing this girl.

NATE3

Yeah?

CUTAWAY: Laura locking up the store, walking home

NATE

And, she's coming over for dinner tonight, so I should probably go.

NATE3

Nice, man.  Have fun.

Cutaway: Kiyah's house, Laura comes to the bathroom, Samantha's in the shower.

LAURA

Oh my gosh, Samantha.  You gonna be a long time?

SAMANTHA

I be long time.

LAURA

What?

SAMANTHA

Sorry, bad joke.

LAURA

Can you hurry? I've got to get ready for...tonight.

SAMANTHA

Okay, got it.

LAURA

And, don't use all the hot water.

CUTAWAY: Nate3 and Nate

NATE3

So, you need protection?

NATE

Um, no I'm good. Thanks.

NATE3

Its good to be prepared.

NATE

Yeah, of course.  Not sure if it will go that far but, she wants to take it slow.

NATE3

She's coming over, to your house, for dinner and you don't think she wants to--

NATE

Yeah, I see your point.  But, I'm good, I've got some, thanks.

NATE3

And, hopefully you will too.

NATE

Will what?

NATE3

Get some.

(They both laugh.)

Montage:Laura in the shower, shaving her legs, armpits,Nate cleaning the house, making the dinner, Laura blowdrying her hair, putting on make-up, trying different outfits, with or without samantha's approval, Nate trying different outfits

Fade into: Laura walking down the street near Lucy's house.

(Her cellphone rings and she pulls it out of her purse.)

LAURA

Hello? Mom? What's wrong? Oh my god!

Fade intO: Nate's granny unit, a few minutes later, knock at the door.

(Nate opens the door, Laura stands before him, in a state of shock.)

NATE

Hello there, Laura.

(Laura doesn't say anything.)

Is...something...wrong?

LAURA

(as if coming out of a dream)

Nate? Hi...

NATE

Laura?

LAURA

My dad...my dad's dead.

NATE

Oh my god, come in, come in.

Fade into: Nate's living room, Nate and Laura sitting on the couch together.

NATE

You need anything? Water? Wine? I don't know?

LAURA

I...I...don't know...I need to pack, Mom's buying me a ticket, got to go home for...the service and all that.

NATE

Yeah sure.

(Laura gets up and moves towards the door.)

You have to go now?

LAURA

Yeah, I'm really sorry, Nate.  I don't think I would be much fun is all.

NATE

You don't have to be.

(He crosses to her, in front of her.)

I just...want to be here for you, is all.

LAURA

Yeah?

NATE

Yeah.

(They smile at each other softly.  Nate takes Laura's hands.)

Stay?

(Laura thinks about it for a moment.)

LAURA

I wish...but I feel I have to go.

NATE

Oh, all right.  Do what you have to do.

LAURA

Thanks, Nate.  And, I'm sorry.  I really am.

NATE

Don't be.  Life happens.

(Laura turns towards the door, is about to leave, then turns back to Nate, runs to him, kisses him passionately. She pulls away and smiles at him.)

LAURA

Thank you, Nate.  You are...such a nice change.

NATE

You are welcome.

(They kiss again, this time even more passionately.  Laura breaks away, and starts moving towards the door again.)

LAURA

I'll call you, okay?

NATE

Please do.

Angel

One Final Time

8 am came to soon. Ruby awoke with a pounding headache from the wine flowing the night before. How many bottles had it been in the end? After the two boys came jaunting over to the table and both she and Tera flirted into the night. Tera snored beside her. Ruby reluctantly pulled herself from the bed and got herself ready for her morning commute to the video store.

Moving into the bathroom, she splashed water on her face and brushed her hair back into a messy bun. Back in her room, she pulled on her work uniform, black pants and the t-shirt brandishing the video store company name oh so proudly. She swabbed some deodorant under her arms and quickly touched up her face with some dabs of make-up. Then, she quickly made her way out of the apartment, grabbing jacket and purse making a beeline for the nearest coffee shop.

Boots pounding the pavement, a few minutes later out she came from said coffee shop, cappuccino in hand and muffin in the other as she quickly and panting all the way made her way to her place of employment. She was to be a few minutes late, nothing to be done. At least she was opening and she could forge the time signature on her time-card to meet the required time-slot.

At last reaching the store, she unlocked the door, flicked on the lights, and moved through the store towards the back, to forge the time-card.

Later, she sat, store muzak blaring, at the front counter, staring blankly ahead of her. The slow minutes ticked by, her life slipping gone, gone, gone. She pulled her journal out from her purse and set it before her. Sipping her coffee and nibbling on her muffin, she began scribbling out some lines for a future song.

“He came into my life, then my heart,” she wrote. “All too soon it fell apart.”

“No,” she thought. “Not that, more like, You came into my life.” And she scratched out “he” and re-wrote “you”. The door chime sounded and she barely looked up with a “Hi” to welcome the customer. She heard footsteps approaching the counter and soon felt the presence of the person waiting her. She looked up slowly and there he was. Rob.

“Hi,” he smiled at her and she felt her heart sway towards him. “I see you already got your coffee.”

He held up a tray with two go-cups of coffee on it.

“Guess you don't want this latte then?” He said, winking at her. She looked him over and reached for the extra cup. He set it on the counter before her, brushing her fingers with his.

“How the hell are you?” He asked, the flirtatious sound in his voice.

Ruby looked down at her journal and gulped in air.

“I saw you,” was all she managed.

“Saw me? Where?”

She sucked in another gasp of air and looked him dead in the face.

“At dinner, last night.”

His face fell, in realization. And, Ruby knew then the truth without either of them speaking. But, to be very certain and with perhaps a part of her hoping otherwise, she asked,

“Who is she?”

“Just a friend,” he answered all too quickly.

“A friend,” she said, with a laugh. “Like me, then?”

Rob looked out the window behind her and without looking in her eye he responded, “Sort of.”

Ruby looked him over, taking him in for what she thought was the last time. A flash of their relationship and times together flew before her eyes, the first time they'd met in class, their first “date” at that cheesy, cheap Chinese restaurant, how she'd followed him to New York, how he took her around the city, his hand tightly in hers, showing her the sights, how she felt fully alive and in love when she was with him, and lastly the times when they fell into bed together, pushing into each other full of sweat and lust. She sighed heavily and then said, biting back the tears in her throat,

“Please leave. Now.”

“I really did care for you,” Rob tried to say and looked into her eyes fully then. “It was just a mistake, really, never happen again.”

She looked back at him. “Just go,” was all she could make herself say.

“Don't, Ruby, please,” he finally said.

“Go,” she said again. And, without another word, he turned and walked towards the door. He stopped for a minute and said, “Good-bye, Ruby.” Then he was gone with the swinging door chime, signaling his exit.

The tears came then as her heart fully broke, shattered completely. She found her pen and scribbled onto the page, without truly thinking.

“I'll never see him ever again.”

A few hours later, when her replacement girl came into work, Ruby headed back to her apartment to find Tera who had just come in from site-seeing, waiting for her.

Without waiting to ask how she was, Tera bounded towards her,

“Guess what? Guess who I saw at the Statue of Liberty?”

Ruby collapsed onto the sofa, too worn out to play games.

Tera, undeterred, answered, “Geoff and Les! You know, from camp!”

“Of course, I know,” Ruby sighed. “What are they doing in town?”

“Seeing the sites, on a break from school,” Tera rattled on. “Geoff had his new boyfriend with him, that's so hilarious. Nice guy though. Anyway, I told them we'd meet for drinks and dinner later. So, yeah, you in, right? Oh, and Les asked about you, wanted to know all about, you know, everything with...well--”

Tera looked over at her friend and finally saw.

“Something wrong?” she asked and came over to sit beside Ruby.

“Yeah, its over between me and Rob,” was all Ruby could say.

“How?”

“He came into the store and wanted to...and I told him to...leave,” Ruby informed her friend. Then the tears came again. Tera reached for her friend and held her close.

“I'll never see him again,” sobbed Ruby.

Tera stroked her friend's hair and said, “Oh, Jewels, I'm so sorry.” And, then she looked up at the ceiling and said, “No, I don't think that's true.”

“What?” Ruby managed to say.

“Well, you know how my mom is psychic and stuff,” Tera began. “I think I'm starting to have that too, or something, like it was dormant but I can see things, have for awhile, just haven't really said anything, didn't know if anyone would believe me, but yeah, I get this feeling that this isn't the last of Rob in your life.”

“Please, Tera, don't just say things like that,” Ruby pleaded and Tera held her friend's face and looked at it, fully.

“No lie, Jewels,” was all she said.

I Will Remember You

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In This Town: Chapter Fifteen: I Will Remember You

Chapter Fifteen: I Will Remember You

Riley called off and on all weekend. I left the phone on silent and screened all my calls, as I sat amidst boxes organizing my apartment. I gave the majority of my furniture to Max and Janet. Although she didn't like me she as pleased to have it, Max was sad to see me leaving.

I had called and let Ken know to find another person for class on Monday, it would be easier that way to not have to face him or Riley, for that matter. I informed my landlady and she said she'd send me a check to the new address with the remainder of the rent.

I spoke to no one, save had dinner at my parents to celebrate my big move, but spent the weekend, sipping chardonnay, listening to Tori Amos and Sarah McLachlan, and packing up my life.

On Monday morning, with my car all packed up with everything I really needed, I left the key in the landlady's box and slowly drove through town.

Later that day, perhaps after his class, Riley would come over. I'd left the door unlocked so he'd push it open, wander through the empty rooms, until he found a note in the bathroom,

“I'm sorry, Riley, you were wonderful but I just can't be who you want me to be. I'm off to follow my dreams, I hope the same for you, & I will never forget you, All the best, Anna.”

The early morning fog would blanket the town with an eerie stillness as I'd make my way over to the community college. Pulling into the faculty only parking lot, I'd sit in the car with my engine running until I'd see him. He'd park his car and get out, busying himself with his coffee cup, his bag, and assorted papers. I'd feel the urge to reach out, honk my horn, do something to make a connection but I'd sit frozen, waiting. Without knowing why, he'd turn in my direction. In a flash, he'd show recollection and smile, waving his hand slightly and nodding at me. I'd smile back, knowingly and taking all of him in with my gaze, in order to never forget.

Slowly, I'd pull out of the parking lot, as he turned and walked away. We'd see each other again, sooner or later, it didn't matter. The important thing is that we would both always remember.

I Will Remember You

(A footnote: This story is dedicated to my former love, mentor, and teacher, Joe D.)