All Is Well 2021 to 2022

 

The ending of a year brings both celebration and an intense pondering, even though in recent years the idea of resolutions are seen more as a mere joke than taken seriously.  For my part, I choose each month to create vision boards with the first one of the year a bit larger than the others.  The reality of it is that the ending of the year is a death, even as I write this out my office window swirls snowflakes falling on ground floor already covered with the cold white, that which was alive is now dormant preparing for the new life to come later in the year.  And so too, within we feel this ending, but such as in all aspects of life, with every ending, a new beginning.  The seasons of nature are also reflected within that of human nature.  

Way back to 2016, many chose to curse a year, waving their fists in the air in anger, even in recent times for me, where it became dark with the pain of losing a loved one felt too intense that I wanted to cry out in anger, I was met with the truth that birth and death, beginning and ending, are a part of life.  In every ending, there is a new beginning.  With the four beloved souls I have lost this year, Charlie Robinson from Night Court, Markie Post from Night Court, my dear childhood friend, Christina, and, of course, Cafe-Girl's queen forever, Catherine "The Rani" Hansen, I feel the message they sent from beyond not to berate a year for their passing, but to celebrate the love we shared together in our season.  With every death, there is a rebirth, for those that have departed as well as for us who see life beyond their passing.  Yet, even though they be absent in body, I feel them with me still, in a stronger, more poignant way, which leaves me to truly believe that 'death is not an ending, but a shift in the relationship.'  A new season of life is starting with the passing of the old.

That being said, I also want to touch on the inner reasoning behind the anger at the pitfalls that have come, seemingly so much, in the last few years.  Yes, so many curse the years and trending on twitter is the "FU" to the year while John Oliver blows it up on TV, and again, with all the tumult both politically, socially, physically, many seek to cling to some form of knowing, yet it is in these ever changing times that we cannot ever truly know, try as we might.  Thus, the fighting emerges with one another over what is correct and what is incorrect, yet there truly is no knowing.  Embrace the blessed uncertainty, my friends, for with this we find the ability to experience life in all its fullness, through the lens of a childlike sense, not getting bogged down by the horrors, but realizing into each season, tears will fall yet joy shall return.  I admit I do fall prey to the worry and anxiety of the heart, feel myself wanting to rail against that which I cannot control, yet I believe we are all here on this planet to transform, evolve, and to help others do so.  

With that meaning, as you travel into 2022, take with you, dear heart, that truly All Is Well: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dS3L2R8ugYI  

All is well that ends well
And in the end I'll be with You I know
All is well that ends well
And so all is well with my soul

Journaling Through The Years, Episode 22: Life Full Of Love

This week I start out by talking about my dear friend, Christina, who recently passed & whose memory this vlog is dedicated, I share a very erotic & sensual poem, & then some insightful quotes about life & love.

Journaling Through The Years Episode Fifteen: Love Heals

In this episode, I touch on the loneliness and pain I felt as a youngster, seeking security in a love I could not find and relay how I have grown from that pain and discovered the peace & security of unconditional love within myself and from others. I discuss the ways in which the heartbreaks in life haven't weakened by heart but strengthened it. Finally, I talk about the ways we can handle the immense amount of trauma and horror we see in the world today & how we can make a difference.

Journaling Through The Years Episode Fourteen: Where To Find Me

In this episode, I reflect upon the nature of the divine within the love found in friendships and share how that helped me through my dark times ultimately to discovering myself and becoming whole. Dedicated to my Ravencliff besties!

Vision 2014

Every year, and in fact with every opening of a show, I draw an angel card.  You know the ones that have a particular spiritual based word that is supposed to show a little of your purpose for the upcoming day, month, year, etc.  This last year for 2013 I drew creativity and what a year of an abundance of creativity it was; four plays, three films (small parts but you got to start somewhere), a radio play (which we need to redo), acting lessons, personal and community voice lessons, a ton of play readings, and my debut as a vocal coach.  This past month, I drew vision, which was particularly poignant as the last show I did, Light Sensitive, was about a blind guy (played by that  Michael guy I'm in love with).  The word, vision, got me thinking of what my goals would be for 2014 and more or less what 2014 would be like, and hoping beyond hope that it would be more amazing than 2013 proved to be.

Now, I always take the idea of New Years' resolutions with a grain of salt, as I think the rest of us are prone to do, however, like all of us, I do find myself getting a little introspective about the year that has passed and thoughtful in pondering the year to come (without trying to make too many promises or overly ambitious goals for myself).  More so, I am more reflective on the intensity of 2013 for its great losses and great gains.  For what I have learned, with great loss comes even greater gain.  For starters, this year I have been blessed with finally coming into my true calling as an actress and even more reinvented myself with the new name.  A rose by any other name would smell as sweet is more true than ever imagined.

Furthermore, I think that the year 2013 can best be summed up with the song, "This is the stuff" by Carolyn Arends.  As Carolyn croons, several lines resonate within me, "love and heartache in between", "friends to keep you up all night laughing till you cry", and "dreams to dream, plans to make", those and more naturally reflect what that year became and how it will be remembered.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4q9PE8Qy8Ko

So, what is my "vision" for 2014?  Well, for starters, some are great, some are small.  Some seem more attainable than others but all at this point in the game all are dreams to be fulfilled, such as to continue in theatre & film, become a better singer, get one of my plays produced in some fashion at last, become debt free, save money, and travel more.  All attainable, hopefully yes.  Will they be? Who knows but the point is only to hope and to never give up dreaming, while still taking life one day at a time.  At the end of it all, I may not have achieved all that I set out to do but what I did will probably be even more than I can imagine, and really, isn't that how it always is?

At the most, I dream this new year will bless me with more love, more laughter, more light, a few tears, but many friends and loved ones with whom to share my days, dreams, and hopes.