Reclaiming Jezebel #reclaiming

 

Who was Jezebel?  Aside from the trope of the evil, seductive woman or even an evil spirit, a slanderous name tossed about for centuries when someone, usually female, considered to be of lesser value tries to overcome her downtrodden role, or rather a 'get out of a jail free card' for a wandering man who blames the victim, 'That Jezebel made me do it", but historically...who was she? 

\

The woman Jezebel is introduced in the Biblical book, 1st Kings, as a Phoenician princess who marries the Israeli King Ahab.  Or rather, she is sold into the slavery of marriage for the position of political power wrangling between her father's sea-faring successful country to that of the land of Israel, a simple dowry object passed from one patriarchal control to another.  How dare she speak up, forge her own path?  Doesn't she know her place?

A young woman traveling to a distant land from the comforts of her home, Jezebel brought much from the place of her birth, including that of the artifacts of her country's religion, so that she could continue to worship as she had always done.  Once there, she inquired of Ahab, her new betrothed, if she could display such artifacts of her faith and he gave her his permission.  Ahab, an ancient king, had many a wife and concubine, of which Jezebel was the newest, as many ancient kings did.  Women of the time passed back and forth, land to land, bed to bed, as a form of currency and an object of social status.  How dare Jezebel seek out and desire more?

It is said in the Biblical accounts of her life that her new husband, King Ahab, willingly began worshiping Ba'al, committing idolatry, he gave up the God of Israel.  However, when reading a historical, religious text such as the Bible, one has to recognize that all material and literature is of its time (or of any time), is written with bias based on the life of the one writing and what audience they intend to persuade.  Now, I am not anti-bible, even though a deconstructed Fundie Christian, I hold beautiful memories pouring through and still find value with such as a spiritual text among many, one rich with figurative stories to help make meaning and understanding unto one's life's journey and evolution. All that to say, in the interest of this study of Jezebel, let's do our best to set aside the religious teachings of the Bible, specifically that of 'literal', and any bias that teaching has created within and take another look at Jezebel.  

Jezebel's arrival in her new husband's land took some getting accustomed for both her and those around her.  Furthermore, her bringing artifacts of her faith along with her and not conforming to the religion of the land angered many, including that of the Jewish Prophets, Elijah, then Elisha.  Additionally, Jezebel was not acting appropriately in the traditional sense of the submissive woman and wife, she was curious, had a voice she wanted heard, and was hungry for interaction.  In short, she sought to align herself in equality with her husband.  How dare she?  

It is important to note that Jezebel was not innocent in her strong woman status.  She was a bit conniving in wrangling a piece of land Ahab wanted from the poor owner, Naboth, whom she wrongfully accused of blasphemy to God and country, bringing about his stoning.  So, yeah, definitely a 'dick move' if I ever heard one? Again, she vowed to have Elijah killed, but only after finding out that the prophet had caused the slaughter of hundreds of Ba'al worshipers and prophets in the name of the God of Israel.  An eye for an eye, am I right?

Examining the life and character of Jezebel through the lens of the Biblical bias, one that wants to esteem the Judeo-Christian God above all others, she is vilified as a pagan seductress as a warning for what occurs when one disobeys the most high.  Yet, within the confines of history and political striving through all time including present day, this back and forth one-uppance and vying to overpower is a factor of human nature.  Perhaps, the striving of such coming from a woman, who already did not conform to the standards of society, was the true sticking point.  If Jezebel had be a man, would we have the slanderous insult?  Yes, Jezebel ain't an angel, but I don't necessarily see her as this Satanic Spirt come to tempt and to destroy all her victims.  I am reminded more of current women of political power of our day, more than a sexual deviant. 

So, the warning of the spirit of Jezebel is not one of sexual seductress, nor should Jezebel be held up as reason for husbands to insist their wives submit, but rather that of the political striving of over-powering another for one's gain.  A reality of human nature, of all genders, striving to better oneself can swiftly swing to a competitive drive to dominate.  For example, if feminism becomes more about matriarchal rule, where men are dominated and subjugated, as seen in the Barbie movie, than the female gender is no better than the male.  

Yet, there is a positive spirit of Jezebel worthy of reclaiming, standing true to oneself amongst the unfamiliar, surrounded by the prejudices of others, and speaking up to be heard when others would wish to silence.  For a woman who voluntarily agreed to be a Fundie Christian in her twenties, who always had a busty Barbie Doll figure, surrounded by a culture encroached within the Purity Culture mindset, I felt often that my body, the 'God-given' figure, was a Jezebel like attribute that could cause the stumbling of my male brethren.  Adding to the experience wherein a pastor who was counseling me in the throes of my depression remarked, "lots of women that I have counseled have developed feelings for me", which caused me to question, then spiral deeper into body dysmorphia and shame, to anorexia with the hopes of de-sexualizing myself so as not to be a 'Jezebel'.  

It is said that when those intent to murder her were approaching, Jezebel put on her finest attire, painted her face, and stood proudly looking out her window.  Was she waiting for her approaching 'paying customers' as a harlot? My feeling is she was continuing her bravery of standing fast in her own power and strength in the face of great adversity.

You can be amazing

You can turn a phrase into a weapon or a drug

You can be the outcast

Or be the backlash of somebody's lack of love

Or you can start speaking up

Nothing's gonna hurt you the way that words do
When they settle 'neath your skin
Kept on the inside and no sunlight
Sometimes a shadow wins
But I wonder what would happen if you

Say what you wanna say
And let the words fall out
Honestly, I wanna see you be brave
With what you want to say
And let the words fall out
Honestly, I wanna see you be brave

Brave - Sara Bareilles (Lyrics)

Research materials used for this article:

Jezebel: The Bible's Ultimate Femme Fatale | Naked Archaeologist | Parable

Blaming Jezebel | Belief It Or Not

Is Jezebel The Most Reviled Woman In The Bible? | Notorious Women Of The Bible | Parable

Bible Story of Jezebel

The Effects of Purity Culture #purityculture #fundamentalism #christianity

When I was a preteen, I went to Bible camps because my single dad got me a scholarship and it was free babysitting for a week each summer. At the end of every Bible camp, they would ask if anyone wanted to“give their life to the Lord.” At 13, I made this decision. My dad didn’t go to church, but my mom and my new stepdad did, so I got baptized at their church.

Fast forward through my teen years, where I was hanging out with friends older than myself and going to concerts and parties. I was 18 when I met my (now ex-) husband and we were married when I was only 19 years old. The honeymoon quickly faded revealing him to be very controlling and told me I needed to stop hanging out with my friends. He also insisted I get rid of my music, my life at the time. He was not a good person to me but I was blind to his controlling nature. He was a textbook narcissist. 

During our marriage, I was abused emotional, sexually, and religiously. He used the Bible to control me for his pleasure, condoned by the teachings of the church which states their belief that the husband is head of the household. I became increasingly more depressed through our 12 year marriage, and  developed many chronic pain and health conditions. I felt alone as I was alienated by my health added to the reality that I did not have close friends in the church to truly check on or help me.  This was a reality I was unaware of at the time but would eventually make itself apparent.

When we finally went to marriage counseling, it was suggested that I go to a counseling center out of state for my depressione. While there, I realized the spell I was under by my narcissistic husband and was slowly able to begin the process of breaking free from him, enough to kick him out of the house (that I was paying for!) not long after I came back.

Since then, I have gone to many different counselors to work through the abuse and to heal. I am still in counseling a decade later. I’m scared to go to church because everyone sided with my ex during our divorce, revealing the truth that they were never really my friends. Thus, I decided to start new in another state closer to my family. However, I still won’t attend church for many reasons, but that’s a whole other story I can explain later. I do try to date, but my health is still a hardship making it difficult to leave the house.

Yes, I do still believe in God, but my struggle is with Bible itself. Today,  I consider myself “spiritual” instead of religious. I am open to remarrying if I ever meet the right person, but I have a lot to work through first. I hope my story can help others who are trapped in an abusive marriage to consider a change.

Jess Hart is an artist, rescues cats, and enjoys punk music. She lives in West Texas.

Jess Hart https://linktr.ee/thisisjesshart

Be You, Be A Hero

             Hero

Okay, so here's the deal.  Insights and messages can come from the most surprising of places, in the most unusual ways.  It's up to us to maintain an openness and willingness to receive without judgment.  That's the situation I found myself in, when contemplating the recent circumstances surrounding the state of our union, in all its variety of facets, when the above song, Hero, by Mariah Carey popped into my head.  It's a song I used to listen to in my young impressionable naive-minded youth, back in the far away past of the nineteen nineties.  Remember back then?

So, as many of my contemporaries, I was mourning the concession of Senator Bernie Sanders and the devastation that may follow in that wake for my country and the world.  Who will lead us? Who will be our revolutionary, our guide? Why didn't he stay? When will be his chance?  As I sunk deeper into these trail of thought, I began to examine the notion of a hero and, to be exact,a revolutionary.  

And then a hero comes along
With the strength to carry on
And you cast your fears aside
And you know you can survive

If you do a google search on the word, "hero", the first definition is: a person who is admired or idealized for courage, outstanding achievements, or noble qualities.  

But, what in fact does it mean to be a hero? More to the point, what makes a hero a reality in our eyes? We idolize someone like Bernie, or another political or public figure, for the attributes they seem to manifest outward, without truly knowing who they are inwardly.  What if we stopped, looked inward and found those attributes within?  What then? Why must it be someone else's responsibility to be our hero?  (I am speaking to myself more than anyone else.)

So when you feel like hope is gone
Look inside you and be strong
And you'll finally see the truth
That a hero lies in you

But then again, I ask myself at times, why me? (And, also, why  you?)  Why must I stand up to the injustices of both my personal world and the larger reality? Why must I combat the negative toxicity that threatens to disable myself and those I love, even at the risk of losing those I love as a consequence for my boldness?  

It's a long road
When you face the world alone
No one reaches out a hand
For you to hold
You can find love
If you search within yourself
And that emptiness you felt
Will disappear

There is one reason that I can ascertain to inspire myself and others to live boldly and truthfully to attain their highest potential selves.  And that would be simply, its a better way.  See, taking the time, effort, and hard work to 'clean your own house' and do the adequate self care and healing is necessary for you to enact positive change for all of life, both for ourselves, those we love, and the planet.   So, after we find that peace and continue to work towards our wholeness, what then? How does this become true social and dynamic change?

For my part, it begins with allowing myself to be present and listen in order to be led towards the right decision, guided along the path towards the highest good for all.  It can be as minute as smiling at someone on the street and saying "hello", sending gifts and letters to remind them that they are loved just because, planting a garden with the express purpose of loving Mother Earth back to life and to provide sustenance for yourself and loved ones, or even greater tasks such as becoming and remaining an informed voter, being politically and socially active based on your convictions (YOURS, don't be manipulated), donate in whatever fashion of your choosing, and stay as active as possible in healthy relationships.  Above all, continue that self-care, deciding every day to love yourself and recognize that this is not merely selfish but selfless.  Being able to be fully in love with yourself allows the full healthy mindset and peace to enact change that all of us desire, regardless of the religious or political belief structure.

There's a hero
If you look inside your heart
You don't have to be afraid
Of what you are
There's an answer
If you reach into your soul
And the sorrow that you know
Will melt away

On that note, I gotta talk about Jesus now.  If this is somewhat of a sensitive subject, for whatever the reason, you have been warned.  But, I am not addressing Jesus Christ or the biblical scriptures I share based on my past fundamental beliefs, so let that put your mind at ease.  I'm not going to try to convert you to drinking the Kool-Aid and numbing yourself to the distraction of organized religion.  (No, I'll just try to appease your fears with a Nineties Pop Song....Just Kidding!)  But, here's the thing, as I dwell deeper into my Wiccan roots (from my pre-fundie life) and also into a deeper healing, I have come to recognize and appreciate Jesus and the teachings I once read in the Bible.  This is surprising to me, yes, but also a sense of comfort.  I recognize the truths from the scriptures and that they are not singular to the Christian religion.  There are lots of different types of followers of Jesus, lots of folks who think He is 'da shit', so define wisely.  (However, if I ever slip back into the fundamentalist life-style, you all have my express permission to shoot me.)  So, that said, let's talk about Jesus, shall we? Most significantly, as a revolutionary type of guy.  

In my past studies, I came across Acts 5:33-39 which says: 

33 When they heard this, they were furious and wanted to put them to death. 34 But a Pharisee named Gamaliel, a teacher of the law, who was honored by all the people, stood up in the Sanhedrin and ordered that the men be put outside for a little while. 35 Then he addressed the Sanhedrin: “Men of Israel, consider carefully what you intend to do to these men. 36 Some time ago Theudas appeared, claiming to be somebody, and about four hundred men rallied to him. He was killed, all his followers were dispersed, and it all came to nothing. 37 After him, Judas the Galilean appeared in the days of the census and led a band of people in revolt. He too was killed, and all his followers were scattered. 38 Therefore, in the present case I advise you: Leave these men alone! Let them go! For if their purpose or activity is of human origin, it will fail. 39 But if it is from God, you will not be able to stop these men; you will only find yourselves fighting against God.”

So, for starters, do I think Jesus is the Messiah come to save us and escort us into eternal life of harps and clouds? Not necessary nor am I sure, but I do think he represents a type of hero archetype that is present even in our lives today.  And, I feel that there have been similar hero archetypes both on a religious and political level down through history and will continue onward.  I mean, in our times, we can look at individuals such as Martin Luther King, Jr, Elizabeth Warren, and of course, the aforementioned Bernie Sanders as this archetype.  (Yeah, okay, I know that my representatives seem a little left skewed so if this doesn't fit your ideal, *insert your hero archetype here*.)   I chose these three because they represent a key ingredient here, all were passionate to enact the sort of change that would make the world a better place and the lives of the citizens better, but all were vilified in some fashion or another (some worse than other: Here's looking at you, MLK, Jr).  And, what indeed occurred as a result of the vilification?  We still remember as a nation, world, and true change has occurred and is happening even now.  

Lord knows
Dreams are hard to follow
But don't let anyone
Tear them away, hey yeah
Hold on
There will be tomorrow
In time you'll find the way

Bernie conceded, he stepped down, and in a very real sense, he sacrificed himself and with that the movement of revolution, begun not by him but others before him, that he carries forward, can continue.  And, continue it will, not merely by him with his loyal followers, but by you, by me, by us standing strong together in our own individual whole selves determined to bring light and love to a very ill world.  Looking towards a leader, someone that inspires you, that you see as a hero, is not necessarily a bad thing, but do not let that weaken your own influence.  Be true to yourself, your convictions, and move forward your own hero for the world.  And, please do not let this boldness disempower another whose views may differ, but be ever willing to sit down face to face at the table, listen, find shared commonality, and healing for all.  

And then a hero comes along
With the strength to carry on
And you cast your fears aside
And you know you can survive
So when you feel like hope is gone
Look inside you and be strong
And you'll finally see the truth

That a hero lies in you

So  now, after you have read my words, I invite you to take a few minutes and really listen to this pop song, Hero, in light of what I have written.  Your views may differ but I believe your passion is similar in desiring the positive, healthy world for ourselves and for loved ones.  And, be a hero and remember, you don't necessarily need a cape to do it, only if you want too.  

Hey, hey, you like what you read and have some thoughts, comment below.  Not like what you read, but you still want to express yourself, comment below.  

The Thriving Artist is a subset of Cafe-Girl Productions, Inc, a film and media production company working to bring about artistic endeavors that inspire change and help heal.  Want to lend your support? Head over to: www.patreon.com/cafegirlproductions

My Coming Out!

I cannot truly remember a time when I was not spiritual.  A fact I have come to fully realize and embrace after years of time spent worrying over my eternal soul's destination and salvation through rigorous spiritual and somewhat meaningless activities in the cul--I mean, church.

The church and those associated with it had me believe that if I wasn't reading my Bible every morning and attending church 7 days a week, practically always there, I was somehow going to fall into everlasting sin and eternal damnation and peril.  They would have me to believe that if I didn't do these aforementioned activities, I would lose all focus and desire for any spiritual connections.  Maybe this is true for them, but not so for me.

I have ultimately found this to not be the truth and in fact have discovered quite the contrary.  Without spending countless hours logging in my church attendance, I have found a more heightened diligence in pursuing my own spiritual desires.  My day doesn't seem complete without some form of spiritual motivating factor and study.

Which leads me to the conclusion, based on this and the reflections of my past, that I am basically a very spiritual person.  I do not say this to shame others spiritual journeys in anyway but just as an honest admittance of my own self.  I cannot help but seek out that which is spiritual and beyond our limited understanding.  For my entire life, since before the rambling years of Christianeze, I have sought different pathways of spirituality, with much satisfaction therein.  (And, yes, the time spent within the walls of the church brought some satisfaction as well!)  Perhaps, its my identity as an empath that has strengthened this desire, with the giving out of so much of my energy for others' wellbeing, I need to draw on the wellspring of the Divine for refreshment.  Most likely that's what it is.

I do believe that all people have an innate ability towards the spiritual and I believe wholeheartedly that it is my mission to help others find that.  (No, I don't plan on running out and studying theology or anything.)  I just want to live my life and give out love and healing energy to those brought along my path, in so doing,  help them to discover their own sense of spirituality and divinity.  Yeah, that's my mission.

Closer to Fine

How will I accomplish this? No other way than with my creativity, my art, my life as an actress, writer, singer, dancer, and whatever else comes my way.  It is for that reason I have been called to that profession.

http://www.gofundme.com/katys-medical-bills                        http://www.gofundme.com/kipxhs

Might As Well Call Me Just Jackie

Vagina Diaries Day Twenty-Eight

In the last entry, I discussed the issue of gender and the labels we use to describe such a concept, focusing mostly on the usage of male pronouns and wordage to lump both male and female into the same category.  No wonder we girls have self-esteem and body images, right?

Also, for the last few weeks, I've been including a link in the end of my entries asking you to support my beloved sister, Jackie's, desire to become her whole self.  As promised, I now submit my very first guest blogger, the wonderful Godly woman that is, Miss Jackie Pollock, to share a little about her heart, her reasons behind her "gofundme", and desire to become her true self, whole and complete.

I  now present to you, the article:

Might As Well Call Me Just Jackie

Many people ask me “Why do you want to be a woman?” My typical response is I don’t want to
be a woman I already am a woman after all it’s not my fault that I was born in the wrong body. “Being a woman sucks; don’t do it” Um sure yeah okay whatever. You know it’s not my fault I wasn’t born this pretty and that I have to correct nature’s mistake. “Mother Nature doesn’t make mistakes” Oh??? Really Mother Nature doesn’t make mistakes??? First of all I am a Christian Secondly I am a Woman while Third I am transgender. Genesis 1:27 tells us that “God created man in His own image, in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them.”1 gift from God that I call the Gender Gift. He wanted me to go through this so he created me to be Transsexual but most of all God wants me to be one of his beautiful daughters period and to do this I have to undergo Gender Reassignment from Male to Female. Do I regret having to do this? Oh no I don’t regret it at all but it takes money that because of the Glass Ceiling and Fear of the Unknown plus the ignorant responses I have yet to earn the necessary money to accomplish this. John 14:6 tells us that “Jesus said to him, "I am the way, and the truth, and the life; no one comes to the Father but through

 I repeat that you ask why do I want to be a woman; I don’t want to be a woman because I am already a woman; the only difference between myself and a woman born a woman is that I was born in the wrong body hence Transgender is the term that I unfortunately must use as a label. “Trans is a prefix
and female, “gender” replaced “sex” in the 20th century.”4

I have many women I call sisters a majority are male to female transgender; they are pseudo or non-related women I consider the sisters I never had, but they are sisters none the less. Lia is one of those
women who is one of my cisgender sisters (cisgender meaning that the individual identifies with the
gender which they were born) most of the cisgender people are allies. Why is Lia so supportive of a lady like me? I don’t know you’d have to ask her all I know is that my soul, mind, and heart are all feminine; the only part of me that isn’t feminine is my body and that is something that I’ll have to correct through surgery; is there any chance you can help me raise the funds to do this? You’ll be helping a wonderful lady finally become the woman she should’ve always been and that lady is me.

Help Jackie!

Vagina Monologues 2015

Circumcize this!

"the ear is uncircumcised"

Without my daily quiet times, my ear can and will become uncircumcised--centering myself, feeding and filling my heart, with what glorifies him.

This then will bring him pleasure and will bring me pleasure and bring pleasure to all those around me and those I meet...(Wow, such a pleasurable experience writing that run-on sentence).

In everything I put my attention towards, without the LORD, I will not be able to "hear the message" of his story in all I focus on---books, Doctor Who, theatre, plays, interactions with others.  My heart and mind will be less quicker, if at all, to pray, which will cause my soul to grow cold, hard, then the root of bitterness will spring up and I will be less moldable to his grace--

Not in his will, not be of use to him, not trying to 'further the kingdom' as I will not be pouring out his grace or filled with the spirit.

Not showing the world his love...

Wormwood: A Taste of Bitterness

"I'm not bitter, I'm a pacifist"--says Charlie Blossom, this after he rails on and on about how he wants to "bash in his boss's face in", or meditate in the library to get even with them for firing him.  So, yeah, he's not bitter!

But, really don't we all get this way, claiming to be one of peace and love yet in a moment of high stress or even low, we lapse into a spasm of anger or tension, or both.

Jesus calls us to a life of peace and promises freedom from a life of drudgery, not so much that we won't have the humdum details of life to encounter, but that we can do these mundane activities with the focus of worship and service to him, and thus to others.

Lately, I have found myself diverging down the path to bitterness, which leads to a heart of trespasses, ie, seeking pleasure from that which is not profitable.  This, then is a heart of wickedness, an intent to not please my maker or those he has gifted me with, to turn away, to trespass against.  What is the reason for this following away? Answer: Bitterness.

All to often, when and if people crack open the Bible, they will read it for history, proof of its validity or the existence of God, looking for contradictions and finding none push it away for it does what it has been doing for me of late: exposing my heart.

Yes, that's true, in all my reactions of late, what strikes me as I do my daily duties is how quickly my temper flares, even if it is by myself, when no one sees.  God sees!  So, in that, what I have discovered is bitterness of my own heart, feeling left out, pushed aside, feeling overwhelmed by the complications of life.  "It isn't fair!" I complain, yet God says, "Yes, life isn't, but I am!"

In that, he reminds me of his death, the penetrated holes in his hands, feet, the scars covering his whole body; the blood of grace that was shed for that very heart of bitterness.  So, I release the pain, the frustration, and try my best to trust that there is a purpose in all things, that "all things work together for good for those who love God".  In short, I surrender and do it again...and again...again.  Because I know, that only in surrender will I be able to hear from God and actually be of use to him and all around me.

Yes, my quiet times with God, in his word, are one of the best forms of recovery, short of prayer, which is the ultimate in humility and sacrifice, because it exposes our true intentions and hearts, the wickedness within.  Once discovered, an act of true surrender is what is required to continue forth..

Drink the wormwood, it may taste bitter, but its nothing like the "corruption" within, and only with that drink, thy shall be healed!

"A heart that refuses to listen to the promptings of the Holy Spirit will not change, no matter how hard you pray."  --Stormie Omartian

Our Greatest Enemy is Fear!

The buzz around town has been that we are, tried and true, living in da 'end times.  This comes as no surprise to me as starting my walk with God in the church in 2001, the study of escotology was all the rage.  Seems like every bible study or service talked about the impending rapture, or catching up of the church.  In fact, perhaps, a believer became a follower of Christ not merely because of HIS LOVE and FORGIVENESS but for fire insurance, who can know?

So, I went through a period of watching the news and pouring through the Book of Revelation and the prophets looking for clues to match up with the times claiming this was the end.  This is a far cry from my pre-Christ era when I would read and watch the news to try to guess what jokes would be tossed around on late-night television shows, and yet, Christian talk of end times, brought many a joke on late-night television shows and in secular circles.

But, now in my walk with God, I am more focused on the here and now, the present moment.  For, I cannot go back to my past or change it and the future is yet to be formed and out of my line of sight, so today is all I have.  I do not live my life in the dread that it is my last, but simply enjoy my time loving God, the world he gave me, and ALL of the PEOPLE he has placed in my life.

So, now it seems the spread of the end times views has reached the so-called unbelievers.  As I read Revelation, I am struck not by the fear of what's to come but by the promise of Christ that He will not only win but His promise to help us overcome so that "we may eat of the tree of life".

So, my dear sojourners on ye spiritual path, Fear not, and may the mercies of God be upon you to bring you to his love, grace, and patience.  He is with you now and until the end of time.

He who has ears, let him hear