Our Roaring Twenties

On New Years Eve 2019, many gathered together to celebrate the turn of the decade with much excitement at  1920s inspired theme related parties a plenty.  As many a New Year before, these party-goers as well as those like myself who were more contemplative in nature looked forward to the year approaching with hopeful expectations and an exuberance of what may come yet this one seemed filled with a higher degree of mirth for we were all moving into the "Twenties" and images of the former flapper era of probition and speak-easies abounded.  

Then, only a scant three months later, in March of 2020, the world as we knew it came crashing around us, all that we had clung to as normalcy was dissipated as we all ventured forth into the new reality of pandemic life.  As the year progressed, more darkness seemed to come ravaging in one upon the other and it seemed as if the very natures of good and evil were battling outright before our eyes.  Many in the United States (my country) were outraged and devastated, with the utter despair of losing not only what they had expected based on the image of "The Roarin'Twenties" but also with the loss of all that they had clung to externally as security.  With that, the battle deepened not just outwardly but at the threat of having to look within at oneself, many sought ways to distract and busy themselves in the new reality, which, for some, came about with wanting to point fingers with blame.

Now, there is a time and a place for that, yes, however, what I wish to express today is that although our "twenties" may not have seemed to appear as we had longed for yet due to the array of craziness that we have experienced with more to follow, can we not see that we are truly living in our own version of the Roarin' Twenties?

If we get in the time traveling machine of our imagination, let's examine what life was like truly during the 1920s.  On one hand, there was a sense of prosperity economically, however, fragile and based on control, which came crashing down on that fateful black tuesday of October 1929.  Have we not had our fair share of Tuesdays black, or rather dark, full of hardship in the last year and a half? Moreover, the government sanctioned prohibition on all alcohol as illegal brought its own tumult and division among the countries.  Yes, it brought on the glamour we so fantasy about with the flapper girls, the speak-easys, the jazz music, all with its danger and intrigue? Yet, there was danger, there was division, those who were law-abiding and for the ban on alcohol and those who were not. A country divided, sound familiar?  

Perhaps the 1920s were the precursor to our Twenties A-Roarin, in that, all of our past, collectively and individually, builds upon each other and hardship not dealt with will continue to increase, deepen, until it can no longer be contained and outward it flows, rampaging all that comes into its path, personally and corporately.

Yeah, that's right.  So, what is the answer when hardship approaches, as it always does? For myself, these last two years have been ones of intense growth professionally and personally as those two merge, as well as healing and inner peace.  No stranger to turmoil from my past history of a Bipolar breakdown, fleeing a marriage of intimate partner violence, and deconstructing from a disastrous cult, 2020 was in itself not something to be feared but instead faced. 

Thus, with that mindset, I continued forward, refusing to scream "FU" but to enjoy my time to rediscover and create for myself a life built on healthy thriving.  For if we strike out angrily at the circumstances of life, thus we shut down and are stagnant, unable to continue, but if we embrace all of the craziness of life, both positive and negative, we will endure and in our perseverance, find our thrive, our wholeness, and our peace. 

Glamour Dave: My 2020 Survival Story

When 2020 started I thought it was going to be a good year. I entered the year with high energy because of my success as a public access producer at RVTV in Ashland, Oregon. I ended 2019 having produced over 60 show productions between all my various shows. I felt really good about what I had done. I figured to keep being active in 2020 with my various shows. I figured to produce at least 50+ more new show episodes between all my shows. I would continue to submit show productions to different film festivals. Continue to get the occasional film festival selection. I was on track to just keep building on my success and trying to secure a sale of one of my show concepts that would take me to Hollywood. That was the plan at least.

But apparently the Universe had other plans. 2019 ended with a new virus coming out of China. And news media reported how serious the condition was in China. And the potential danger it represented if it got out of China to the rest of the world. And as the the world moved into 2020 I looked at the situation as something to be concerned about. But I also looked at it as the level of concern that I gave when other virus epidemics occurred around the world. There have been epidemics of Ebola, Dengue Fever, and Zika Virus that were very concerning. And could have gone into full blown Pandemic status. But those situations seemed to always have gotten under control and never really reached the United States to any serious level. So this new COVID-19 was mostly likely going to be the same situation, right?

A year later the answer to that question was NO! It wound up not being the same situation. For me the beginning of 2020 started normally as I got my selection of production dates at RVTV. I started off the year producing my first new episodes of Rogue Artisans and Crafters where I profiled local artists Erin Linton and Dan Elster. And I kept to my schedule til near the end of March. But in between my first new shows of 2020 to my last shows of 2020 the COVID-19 came across from China to the United States. And it just started to spread. In great part due to the complete failure of the political leadership of our country to treat the threat seriously. A review of past epidemics will show that our nation’s political leadership took those epidemics very seriously and were fully engaged in what would be necessary to contain those epidemics.

The leadership in Washington D.C. this time around showed no interest in treating the COVID-19 threat seriously. They chose to not take any serious responsibility to try and contain the virus. They chose to treat the threat as a joke. They claimed the threat was not real. It was a fake emergency. Let the record show that the COVID-19 threat was such a fake emergency that our nation is coming upon 400,000 Americans dead from COVID-19. That’s an amazingly big fake emergency. 400,000 dead Americans due to a President who has no empathy in his soul. And who only cared about trying to deny the pandemic as a means to try and win re-election and hold on to power. That’s what’s called worthless leadership.

Near the end of March 2020 COVID-19 hit Oregon and our area. As a result Southern Oregon University basically shut itself down to try and contain the spread of COVID-19. That resulted in the RVTV studio being shut down as the studio is part of the Digital Media Center which is on the SOU campus. The end result was the end of my show production schedule. And the end of all show production by all RVTV producers. And that still remains the case even now.

From the end of March 2020 to now the lives of my mother and I has been changed. From being active to having a life that is more quiet, more sedentary, a life of stillness. A life that has a greater sense of a suspension of time. I no longer made any trips over from Medford to Ashland to produce my shows, and spending time with a wonderful group of RVTV producers who in time became great friends. How I miss that contact and experience with my friends. Instead now my life is about going out once a day for an hour, maybe 2, to take care of errands for my mother and I. Mostly going out to pickup groceries and prescriptions. Maybe the occasional other supplies at Fred Meyer or Walmart. All while wearing a mask everywhere I go.

Then I’m back home. I fix meals for my mother and I. We watch the news to stay up to date about the pandemic and whatever the hell President Trump was choosing to do or not do in regards to COVID-19 in our country. If we were not watching the news we would find a movie to watch. Occasionally we would find a movie on demand to watch. I exposed my mother to the joy of watching Howard the Duck. Together we discovered just how badly the movie Cats really was with so many great actors and actresses making their contribution to bad movie making. Even the visual of Taylor Swift singing as a sexy feline was not enough to recommend that movie to anyone. That is how bad that movie is.

For my mother her work from her office changed to working at home. Our dining room table became her desk. And only on occasion would she have to make it into her office for a day. Both my mother and I have various underlying health issues. Those issues make it imperative that we do what we can to avoid getting COVID-19. And so for my mother she became home bound. With only limited times when she goes out my mother tells me how she has missed the seasons. She has not really seen the spring, summer and fall over these last 10 months. It also means 10 months of not really having much in the way of human contact other than with me, and co-worker when she has had to make it into her office in person. But she does on occasion have the occasional ZOOM meeting with other co-workers.

2 of the things that have helped my mother and I keep some level of our sanity has been the presence of our animal family members. We don’t really use the term pets because that is too generic of who they are and what they mean to us. We have our Yorkie, Alie. For the record she is a knot head. But she does a fine job of helping my mother with her work and protecting her. And secondarily protecting me. Mostly by barking non stop whenever anyone or anything happens outside our front door.

Family member Alie. Photograph provided by author.

We also have a cat. Her name is Penelope. She is sweet and a lug. Meaning she has some heft about her. Alie and Penelope conspire together to drive me crazy. I can’t prove it. Because they both keep a respectful distance from each other most of the time. And I have yet to catch them together in a conspiratorial meeting. But its the only reason to explain how well they together bug the hell out of me at times. And generally always when I am seriously focused on doing something at my laptop. Such as trying to write this story right now. Yeah, that’s the way it generally works.

Family member Penelope. Photograph provided by author.

That has been our life of 2020 for my mother and I. We both consider ourselves lucky to not have contracted COVID-19 during 2020. But my mother and I know many people that did contract it. And we know people who had family members of theirs die from COVID-19. The virus is real. Its very dangerous. And simply making the effort of social distancing and wearing a mask to protect yourself and the people around you should not be an issue. The fact that it became an issue shows how self-centered our society has become. That so many people can ignore the basic humanity of everyone else around them because they feel their freedom is endangered in some way I find disgusting. The act of protecting one’s self and the people around you by the most basic of measures during a pandemic to minimize exposure of disease, to minimize death of fellow citizens, fellow human beings, to me I think should be a basic action of respect. But so many citizens in this country seem unable to respect their fellow citizens at the most basic level. And I find that so incredibly disappointing. So much so that if I had the financial resources to do so, I would move my mother and I out of the country. If we could we would move to Great Britain, Canada, somewhere where we feel safe and more respected than we do now, here in our own country. Because its not possible to feel safe and respected here in the United States. Not right now. And that’s a sad state of affairs for our country.

Now we are in 2021. President Trump lost the election and then tried to execute an insurrection of our own government. All because he is a loser. He knows he is a loser, and he cannot handle being a loser. His actions were treasonous. That makes him a traitor to the nation. Soon our nation will be lead by a new President in Joe Biden, and new Vice-President Kamala Harris. Hopefully they will be able to tone down the rhetoric and calm the Trump followers that right now scare me with their levels of hate and desire to cause harm.

Hopefully, under the leadership of President Biden the distribution of the COVID-19 vaccines will get effectively out to our citizenry. My mother and I hope to get our vaccines as soon as they can be distributed in our area. But honestly we don’t expect to see normalcy at any level til the end of 2021. All we can do is continue to be careful about our interactions in the world. And pray for a return to safer and more sane world than what exists right now. Because right now the world is more scary than I have ever seen it in my 57 years of living.

And that is my 2020 survival story.

About David “Glamour Dave” Nienow: David is a photographer, public access television producer, host of numerous shows at RVTV in Ashland, Oregon that includes the shows Rogue Artisans and Crafters and The So NOT So Late Night Glamour Dave Show. He retired to care give for his father for over 7 years. Then became an active producer of public access television programming after his father’s passing. Now he is resuming his career in photography and exploring new subjects and techniques for the next phase of his life in photography. He has a B.S. in Political Science from Southern Oregon University.

The Thriving Artist is a subset of Cafe-Girl Productions, Inc, a film and media company.  Check us out at:

www.cafegirlproductionsinc.com

www.patreon.com/cafegirlproductions

Corky Gardner: My 2020 Survival Story

My 2020 Survival

By Corky Gardner

I’ve been living the same day over and over. I wake up, talk to a parrot, walk home, do course in miracles and at 8 am I water my garden. In the evening, I go for a walk at the same time. There used to be a creepy guy on my walk and I would avoid him. The next day I walked a faster. The next day I crossed the street to get away from him and said “Get away from me!” The next day I realized he wasn’t that bad of a guy and now when I see him at the beach he says things like “You’re late.” and I can’t be mad. Everyday I see a woman with a white dog, every day there is a man with silver hair that’s gonna be on my left and there’s gonna be a woman on the lawn listening to conservative radio and once in a while there is a topless woman on her balcony with a phone to her ear. Once I looked up to find a man and a woman dressed in sailor suits doing a choreographed dance. Once I saw a middle aged woman on roller blades holding on to a golf cart full of kids. Lots of times there are mobs of children on bikes. 

My dad died in the course of the pandemic. The rules seemed to follow me; no visitors the day after I checked him in, then we weren’t allowed to exercise with anyone but a relative, then we were on lockdown, not aloud to see friends the day after he died. Then they changed the rules so planes couldn’t come and funerals were suspended. When I picked up the ashes they just handed them to me in a tote bag, no hug, no face that I could see. Someone handed me a bunch of flowers like I just won Miss America. I frantically batted them down as I tried to drive a convertible in the wind. Things were not going my way. I went to have lunch at the Panda Garden but they had banned indoor dining so I just sort a had a picnic in the grass and I realized I couldn’t leave my dads ashes in the car so I set them down besides me eating orange chicken in a white dress with a huge bouquet of flowers. The drive-thru cars looked astonished. But I didn’t give a #$%@f. That's one thing my dad taught me. 

Early on in the pandemic, when my dad’s sudden death sent me into a manic tailspin, I was so full of ideas I couldn’t write it all down. So many things I wanted to express but the main lesson I heard from my dad was that he wanted me to live a good life and enjoy myself. It was hard. But I am getting better. Talking to the parrot, going on my walks, creating comedy and music and sometimes essays like these. Connecting with friends and realizing that certain things are inevitable. It’s how you process them that makes the difference.

Corky Gardner is an SOU alumni, comedian and writer living in Lahaina, Maui. She has performed standup for 12 years and has opened for Tom Arnold , William Shatner and Cheech and Chong. For more about Corky, go to: https://www.facebook.com/corky.joan

So, what do you think of Corky's story?  Comment below.  To share your 2020 Survival Story, send it on over to cafegirlproductions@gmail.com.  Include a bio and photo of your choosing for your story.

The Thriving Artist is a subset of Cafe-Girl Productions,Inc.  For more information, go to:

www.cafegirlproductionsinc.com

www.patreon.com/cafegirlproductions

 

My 2020 Survival Story: When The Fire Happened By Donna Boehm

The corner of Creel and Hwy.99 in Talent, Oregon. Where the Rock Shop and so many other businesses used to be.

When The Fire Happened
A True Story by Donna Boehm

 Here's the story. I woke up during the night hearing the wind blowing furiously and thought that wasn't good. The wind continued for days and that's what made the fire grow so quickly. Somehow my home was spared, but half a mile from here, to the north, many homes are simply gone. Over 2000 in this area are gone so far. I was in Medford when the evacuation started so never did get back to the house that day. When night came my housemate and I spent the night in his car in Jacksonville. We had planned to spend the night at his girlfriend's house in Medford but even that area was evacuated. That was pretty miserable. Next day we returned to her house. Lots of people in cars in parking lots along the way. We were there from Wednesday until I returned home on Monday. We did manage to get through roadblocks by taking back roads into Talent twice, first to get clothes and food from the freezer. and the second time to clean out the fridge. Power/water were off.

Margie's home is small and there are three cats and a big dog there. I did have a fold out bed in her sewing room. She was so good to us! She also had room on her property for a small trailer and a young couple and small child who lost everything were moving in as I was moving back home. I was able to make dinner for everyone the days I was there. I liked that! I wanted to do something to help, even if it was only dinner!

It was a very confusing time. Not knowing what was going on, watching tv hoping for some news, depending on whatever info Margie got from her large circle of friends all over the area. It was through her that we found out we could get into Talent the back way! I'm aware there has been much chaos for so many. My experience is not close to that.

I just wanted so much to get back to the house. I felt disconnected. Things seemed surreal. But I never panicked or got depressed. I'm sure all that time spent in mindfulness classes helped! It was so good to be home when I did get here!

The smoke was so bad! It's beginning to shift but it will probably be a few days before we see blue sky again. When the wind finally did stop, it's been still ever since.

A lot of downtown Talent is gone. Some buildings were over a hundred years old. To me, that was part of the charm of Talent. I know there will be a lot of information about what really happened around here moving forward.

I've come to realize how important the little things are. How people will show up for each other. How many have written to ask how I'm doing! Driving around Talent I saw several places where people had put bottles of water out for anyone to take. Other communities are organizing to get clothing and household items to people who have lost everything.

Backstage Diva describes Donna because that's usually where she has been found when working with many theatre companies and the opera in the Rogue Valley. Costumes, stage managing, props, dresser, and assisting whenever necessary keep her engaged with her passion for creating and working with so many talented teams that light up the stages of this amazing theatre community. She's impatiently waiting for those lights to start shining again!

Submit your "2020 Survival Story" to cafegirlproductions@gmail.com.  

The Thriving Artist is a subset of Cafe-Girl Productions, Inc, a film and media production company. 

Find out more information about Cafe-Girl Productions, Inc at:

www.cafegirlproductionsinc.com

www.patreon.com/cafegirlproductions

TU, Not FU #2020 #2021 #happynewyear

 

Okay, I'm not gonna be like everyone else and say, "FU, 2020!"  I recognize the humor in that thinking and even more so the hardships and agony this year has revealed.  I get it, I feel ya, I really do.  

Perhaps, it's because I am coming from a darn hard life personally that any degree of external hardship is just par for the course, roll up your sleeves, and get to it.  Yeah, that's most likely a degree of it.

Because when it comes down to it, I'm damn thankful for 2020 for this year became a reset for me.  If it hadn't been for a pandemic, I would have continued onwards in ways that were not necessarily altogether negative but not overall the healthiest of life paths.  I am not saying that I was doing anything way way scandalous like 'doing lines of coke off a hooker's bum in a shady gas station bathroom" (How did I even come up with that?), no, nothing like that, honest I swear.  But rather, I was caught up in the rat race of competition and pursuing a shadowy long-off dream that I could not see what was really important, did not have the time for myself and those I truly love.  Interestingly, this reset allowed me to realize that my heart must put its focus on those who love and receive my love unconditionally, with no degree of rules or stipulation on how I should behave, act, do as they decree.  No, the haters I did not focus but let the toxic flush itself away and let the beam of truest love and loyalty have its day.   

I've quoted for years, "Home is where the heart(s) is/are", and even made that the theme of my Doctor Who Fan Fiction, Homesick.  The premise being that if I am at peace and at home with myself within, I am home without where-ever I may be.  That's a cool reality and one still I attest to, but this year I took the notion of home into a deeper level and realized that there was another layer of reasoning of why I clung to that quote as a life verse.  The answer being for many a year I felt no real grounding to a place, in a sense, the building that held my stuff was merely an address of which I received mail. 

But that all changed this year.

I feel that for all of us the theme of 2020 can be that of home, whether positive or negative.  For me, for the most part, it was positive.  It was the first year where I experienced a grounding in a place, making a plot of land my own, which affected my overall wellness journey and outlook on life in that I thoroughly took the time to self-examine, forgive, heal, and release, learning to re-parent myself as I moved forward.  In a very real sense of the word, I truly became a grown-up this year and discovered the key to adulting is in viewing it through the lens of child-like wonder.

Through the slowing down and reset, I was able to prioritize, focus, develop skills I never imagined I could have, and truly revitalize my sense of self worth.  Through this process, the primary business, Cafe-Girl Productions, Inc, found its brand, its over-arching theme, that of the "Thriving Artist" upon which once it was revealed to me, it had been so clearly defined for so long it was crazy that I hadn't seen it, but such is the nature of the busyness of life to cloud out what really matters.  It is not lost on me that the theme of Cafe-Girl, the overwhelming goal to help all those who join in, is thriving artist, because that relates to my self-worth and belief in self, how many times have I been in the presence of those who degraded artists as less than, not important, as well as society's belief in that as well.  So, thus as the company found its brand, I claimed it for myself.  I realized and recognized that what my business needed was not a catchy slogan or posh advertisement, what it really and truly needed was me, in all my brokenness, authenticity, integrity, and honesty, not hiding the faults, the flaws, the darkness. showing how all of it, the good and the bad, makes up the thriving artist. 

Thriving doesn't mean fame and fortune, or even prosperity in the mere financial, it's about finding balance, wholeness, and peace in doing what you were born to do, that which makes you feel the most alive.  Even more so, it's in finding the art and the joy in the mundanity of life, such as the 9-5 jobs, the household chores like doing the dishes or cleaning the toilet bowl, or even paying the bills.  When viewed through this lens, life can be more than just a chore, but every minute of it an adventure.  That is truly what it means to thrive as an artist.

Added together, 2020 equals the number 4. In numerology, the number 4 stands for loyalty, patience, and justice.  I feel a sense of being solid, stable, and still which is perfect for this year 2020.  It is interesting that in a year with such much tumult and upheaval, we found ourselves at such a stand-still.  The lesson that could be gleaned from that is action can create distraction from the resolution, that all of our busyness in the years previous detracted us away from healing, and in having these distractions removed, we are left with the only thing that truly matters, ourselves.  Thus, we are faced with the most important task of 2020, healing within.

If you add up 2021, you get the number 5.  In numerology, the number 5 represents action and energy.  There is a curiosity to life and in that an excitement to explore and adventure.  With that as the emphasis, I think it pertinent to take the lessons learned in the stillness of 2020 to help empower 2021 to continue the thread of healing, but this time in an element of without.  That's right, after a year spent looking within and internally validating, now is the year to focus outward, to help heal, uplift, and help others thrive.  Let us remember as we healed and developed the inner, it was not done in a vacuum, there always has been a cloud of strong witnesses about to encourage, lift us when we are weakened, and keep us keeping on.

Auld Lang Syne

Happy New Year, dear ones, love your journey, love your thrive!

I want to hear your thoughts on what you learned in 2020.  Share below!

The Thriving Artist is a subset of Cafe-Girl Productions, Inc.  To find out more about us, check out our website at: www.cafegirlproductionsinc.com and  offer your financial support, if you are so inclined, at: www.patreon.com/cafegirlproductions

2020! What A Year! Highlight Reel For Cafe-Girl 2020! #loveyourthrive ...

Cafe-Girl is having a virtual NYE party via Facebook Room!  Starting at 7 pm, we'll watch the best of reel, do a 2021 NYE ritual, and make 2021 vision boards!  Click on 'set reminder' so you can be reminded to watch the premiere of the 2020 Best Of Reel...yes Cafe=Girl has one!  We'll watch together! See you there! 

Solstice Reflections Upon 2020 & Beyond

Roar

2019 was the last year of my life. 

Thus, 2020 was the year I was truly born.

For 2019 was the final year that I allowed myself to be victimized,

held down, used, walked on, belittled with both anger and manipulation through others' jealousies or pain.

In short, 2019 was the last year I lived my life as a practicing codependent, relationship addicted, trauma and abuse victim.

No more! 

In 2020, I embraced  my power as I took it back dose by dose, little by little, increasingly cutting the toxic out of my life, walking away from that which and that whom wishes to destroy me, I allowed that element to wallow in their own path, sending out love that they would choose healing but releasing in the very real truth that their path and destiny is not my responsibility to serve.  

Thus, began the adventure of 2020.  Taking back my power revealed itself in a wide plethora of variety, from finding my financial stability and sense of self worth in that arena which afforded me a peace in my creative aspects and pursuits, and through all of that I was at last able to explore new avenues of health, not open to me in previous years, and find immense healing and expansion become my daily awareness.

My spiritual self aligned itself increasingly with my day to day, becoming infused with my work, my relationships, and all aspects of the material.

Through all of this, I was able to reframe my perspective on worth, which influenced my output into the world.  Increasingly, I no longer seek external validation but create, whether it is for online consumption, for myself, or for those closest to me, to create and for no other purposes.  Sort of like a 'damn the consequences' kind of thing, but the only consequence is joy in the doing and peace from the relief of the final product, no other damage done to self or others.

My relationship and connection to the Mother Earth has deepened in my appreciation and understanding of the lessons she teaches and the needs she requests.  In simple ways, such as selecting the living Christmas tree for my living room, I find the tree I form a relationship with, lovingly tending my victory garden and flower plants,  re-planting several baby oak trees during the horrible Phoenix-Talent fires, attending to the physical and emotional needs of my kitty daughter, Tansy as well as connecting to the dogs in my life, are some of the ways I find to gift she who has always been faithful to me in return.

Throughout this year of healing, I have learning the art of re-parenting myself and have realized that there is nothing scary or horrible about being an adult when seen through the joy of one's inner child.  I try each day to view the mundane aspects of being a grown up to something larger through that realm which helps me see the situation as a puzzle or game affording me better the ability to resolve the issue.  This new lease on life has strengthened my viewpoint of self and given me a new appreciation of my self worth.  Basically I feel worthy of receiving, of being alive.

So, what does this mean moving forward into 2021?  What's the overall theme, desire of my heart?  At last night's solstice bonfire, I wrote the word "suppression" down on a piece of paper and tossed it into the fire, a symbol of that that is the essence of what I want to release and transform out of in the coming months ahead.  No matter the external reality of this world, my wish for myself and for others is to move out of the codependent, people-pleasing false security that leaves me feeling numb, unheard, unsupported, unappreciated, unloved and more into the realm of being seen, heard, and validated. 

With the reality of the Jupiter and Saturn conjunction, The Christmas Star, is it were, in our night-sky during the Winter Solstice and Christmas season, it gives this desire, the growth, and the lessons of 2020 further soul development. From my readings on this phenomena, this is an occurrence that happens every 200 years.  The idea of Jupiter is one of authority, but more of in the realm of health, prosperity, and pleasure focus whereas Saturn's authority focus is on setting rules and limits.  I realize as I pass through the gateway provided by their nearness that these are two elements needed in my continual soul evolution.  For in continuing my journey as an emotional soul entrepreneur, both personally and professionally, I need to allow myself the freedom to explore all aspects of emotional growth but also be mindful of the necessity to set boundaries and guidelines for myself to ensure I accomplish what is needed and honor my relationships in a healthy way.

What are your thoughts on The Christmas Star and your overall year 2020? I would love to hear your thoughts below.

The Thriving Artist is a subset of Cafe-Girl Productions, Inc.  Check out our brand new website at: 

www.cafegirlproductionsinc.com

www.patreon.com/cafegirlproductions

 

Biden 46? A Call To Action!

 

Election 2020 is fast approaching and our country is in the most perilous position it has ever been.  I think the rational on both sides of the spectrum, right, left, and far, can agree to that, if not anything else.  Among the craziness of the protests, pandemic, and forest fires a plenty, there is also the wide division not between the parties but also within.  

Those with my mindset lies the divide between the blue or the green, the democrat or the progressive.  Ultimately, whatever political belief you ascribe to, we all want the same thing, the best for our country, but moreover our world.  That is the commonality of which we all should rest upon and use that to fuel against hatred and evil, with that guiding us with a clear, focused conscience to vote with our own minds, no fear of judgment cast upon us.  

Against my better judgment, I will most likely be voting for good ol' Joe this election.  I do not hold the same reservations and, even, repulsion towards him as I do for Mrs. Clinton, but I also know that with him at the helm it's not the ultimate best for us to impact true change, but it is what we need in order to salvage what remains of our country in order to save us from the burning fires of our impending doom.

So, Biden/Kamala has my vote, but what do I think that entails? Yes, Trump will be voted out and we can begin to sort of begin the reparations of our country.  Sort of.  I have a fear of voting Biden that will give me pause as my black pen lingers over the circle by his name.  

The thing is, love him or hate him, Trump has done something to our country that is given us an element of the positive.  What the hell, you say? Hear me out.  (And I will also refer you to this past entry: Donald Trump may be the best "president" we've ever had!) With Trump at the helm and all the disarray and madness that ensued, the threat of our very livelihood and rights at stake, we have had to do the one thing we always truly feared, and do fear even out of the political realm, we have had to wake up from our comfortable and perceived safe lives.  We have had to fight and begin the revolution that "we the people" have always needed.  

My greatest fear for a Biden presidency is after he takes office in January 2021, "we the people" will see the warm sparkle in his eye, the wide, welcome of the toothy grin, the call back to the Obama era, and we will ever so swiftly slip back into our comfortable and perceived safe lives, with the false trust that all is well and right with our little country and world.

I implore you, do not do this.  Do not lull yourself back to sleep.  Stay awake, continue to fight.  Joe Biden is just as much a puppet to the corporate system of our government, part of the establishment as anyone else.  He is not your hero, nor truly is Bernie Sanders, Donald Trump, Kamala Harris, Mitt Romney, or anyone else. See: Be You, Be A Hero!

The United States of America is your country first and foremost.  The governing officials are elected to serve you, not you them.  They are servants, not celebrities and should be treated and act as such.  

So, yes, my black pen will most likely fill in the bubble by Biden's name, but I won't linger there.  My focus on getting my progressive views will look below his line with the express purpose of building the cause upwards on the ladder.  I will cast my vote for the other candidates and bills based on my personal belief and decision.  And, I will not blame or shame those that do not vote another way that may oppose mine and I ask that none do this to me.  We must be civil and stand in the pathway of love in order to enact true change for our country, our world, and the citizens of tomorrow, the children in our lives.  

Stand in your belief, vote your conscience no matter what, and educate yourself to emphasize the integrity of that belief. 

Watch Sen. Bernie Sanders' Full Speech At The 2020 DNC

Thoughts on what you just read? I welcome your comments and viewpoints, even if they differ from mine in anyway.  Please comment below and I will do my best to respond fairly and with heart. 

The Thriving Artist is a subset of Cafe-Girl Productions, Inc, a film and media company with the express purpose of bringing positive light and change to the world.  Support us at: www.patreon.com/cafegirlproductions

Thrive In Covid

 

Somedays

Now, I'll admit that the above image is very much a click bait tactic,because I wholeheartedly do not believe in flipping off a year.  Time and our means of constructing it is just that, a construct of our mind.  That said, what comes forth from our sense of time is simply just a fact of life, not a personal attack against us, individually or as a whole.  That said, I do not mean to lessen or shame any who are suffering or have experienced loss due to the extremities of this past year's sufferings.  But, in all of my life, I have been one that has experienced the depths of the lows and the joys of the highs, dealt with chronic depression, suicidal ideation, body dysmorphia and anorexia, suffered from the intensity of a myriad of abusers, found myself for many a year beneath the poverty level with mounting debt and wondering if I will ever rise above....so I get it, I feel your pain and struggle, and experience it thoroughly with you at this time.

However, the reality of Covid-19 and the results of having to effectively quarantine has shaped furthermore how I define and frame my life purpose and achievements.  The word of the year for me personally, the one that set me forth in the wee small hours of 2020, was 'health'.  How ironic if you look at where we are now globally, am I right?  But, this was, at the most, meant to be a personal grounding point, was and is still at this moment.  

With that overall intention of health spanned the whole dynamic of what it means to live and be fully healthy, not just the physical but mentally, emotionally, creatively, career-wise, financially, and, yes, spiritually.  Like spokes of a wheel, if one area sputters off balance, the rest of a soul will be off kilter.  So, with this theme, I began my 2020 and the words that arose to assist in this were:

Focus.  Simplify.  Heal.  

Like a mathematical equation, perhaps:  Focus + Simplify = Heal.

With that commenced my 2020 and it remained despite the overwhelming circumstances of negative that arose.  Armed with my ability to persevere and endure based on the plethora of painful experience of my past, I squared my shoulders and pushed forward, despite the scary reality of lock-down, pandemic, and a shaky economy.  From my past experiences with difficulty, trauma, and pain, I have realized that life is more than just the material and by making the active choice to continue and thrive, I can and I will, and I have in 2020.  The lockdown caused the most important turning point of my life, it forced me to slow down, to stop the running, striving, seeking to please, and evaluate my priorities which enabled me to move forward with true progress and mindfulness.

I did not, nor have in many a year, limited myself in the means of employment or making money.  I allowed myself to be flexible and creative in order to reach my goals.  With the stable income-base and hard work to achieve it, I found balance, peace, and stability in other aspects of my life.  Focus I was able to do as I moved forward with my business, Cafe-Girl Productions, Inc, discovering at last my brand, (Thriving Artists), learning new aspects of the trade of both film-maker and producer, as well as continuing my love of creating art in all its aspects.  

This year I have purposely chosen to create monthly vision intention boards, not just for the year, and hung them on my front door so I actively view frequently throughout the day.  Because of this, I have reached many a goal, small and somewhat large, and am actively working at reaching more.  For the first time in a very long time, I have an ample money supply, enough to feel safe and secure within the constraints of the financial.  I have learned not only to budget, but have paid off debt,  not only helped raise my credit score but now understand just what a credit score is, pay the majority of my bills early, have not one but two savings accounts (okay, one is for the business), am actively raising money from my personal income for a short film trilogy, and have a special 'mad money' tin with wads of cash stored away.  In addition, for the first time in my life, I have full coverage insurance, have been able at last to see a therapist regularly and really start working on my trauma related issues, but also will start seeing a psychiatrist, a dentist, and will soon start the process of working towards a breast reduction.  Lastly, from all of this, I have finally and fully developed an appreciation for myself, realized my worth and the enormity of my ability, and am actively choosing to align myself with the positive both relationally with others externally and internally with my dialogue and inner true self.  This affords me the ability and space to examine all of me, without as much judgment as I can muster, both the negative and the positive, not to dwell but to realize that despite the bad choices I have made in my past, I am still, at heart, a good person.  Most heart-warming of all, I have been able to purchase and create gifts for many of my loved ones, without financial worry.

I could go on and on about this sense of abundance I have acquired this year, this sense of peace and inner joy I have, that is not based on external, but I don't mean to sound boastful or to make others angry or despise me.  This blog is not about that.  This is about the how I have found my way to thrive despite external circumstance and hopefully help others to do just that.

Many, many years ago, in the far away 90's, I attended a weekend Christian teen camp called "Feb Camp".  Why did I attend this? I was not nor would be a Christian for several years to come at that point.  No, I attended because my best friend from high school, known to all to you merely as "MLE" (as she is), attended the summer camp version.  (Side note: MLE was not a Christian per se but she enjoyed the camaraderie and friendship gained from that particular summer camp experience.)  I, being obsessed with camp in my high school youth (have I told you about my summer HS experience as a YMCA camp counselor?) eagerly agreed to attend.  MLE had already come to many a shindig at my house where I reunited with my camp friends and enjoyed the experience readily so it was more than fitting that I attend her experience.  I look back on it with fondness, not because of the Christian element, but of the time spent with MLE, the friends she had told me about, the jokes we all shared (I still cannot listen to Bob Marley's "No Woman No Cry" without giggling), but a lesson from the Bible, I had yet to read at that point, did stick.  No...don't know the words...

What was that lesson, you ask? Well, I will tell you.  The leaders of the church gathered us all together one late Saturday night in some small chapel room and as we sat around, he read to us from the book of Job.  Have you read that or heard that story? Job is a guy that God really digs but Satan says, yeah, well everything is going good for ol' Job, let me mess with him, and he will curse you.  So, God says, all right, let's do this, and Satan does, but Job never curses God despite all the hardship, loss of home, family, career, that befall him.  The lesson the teachers taught that weekend was "bad things happen to good people, good things happen to bad people".  

That has stuck with me all these years later, random I know, but entirely helpful for a person that has suffered to the extremity that I have, well, extremity accordingly afforded to being Cis-Gender, White, in the United States, sorta kinda, first world nation. 

But, it has helped me remain buoyant, to persevere, despite hardship and to recognize that no matter how dire things may seem, they will eventually work themselves out seemingly miraculously and better than I could ever ever imagine.  Is there this invisible force at work or is it all my doing? Who can say, and that really doesn't matter.  

Being able to thrive does not have any backbone in financial wealth alone, though there is no shame in material abundance.  It is found in the active choice to not be a victim of life circumstance.  It is so much much more than okay to feel anger and sadness over a trial and difficult situation, yes, but to point fingers, blame, feel put upon, will not help learn the lessons needed to persevere, rise, and move onwards.  

The take-away from this year 2020, as well as other hard times, is that life is built of the good and bad and that all are meant for our spiritual and/or emotional evolution, personally as well as corporately.  If we look at the natural world and its cycles, we can realize that all of life, ours as well, behaves in cycles.  We are meant to learn and evolve, achieve and grow, different things based on those cycles.  We are all on our individual paths and the external effects us all in different ways based on the lessons needed to be learned.  I challenge you, my dear friend, to not look at the craziness of this past year, the scariness that you and many feel, in the viewpoint of a victim, but ask what can be learned and acquired from this.  For I have found that its in choosing to not be a victim that we begin to truly thrive. 

Turn!Turn!Turn!

A time to be born, a time to die

A time to plant, a time to reap

A time to kill, a time to heal

A time to laugh, a time to weep

To everything (turn, turn, turn)

There is a season (turn, turn, turn)

And a time to every purpose, under heaven

A time to build up, a time to break down

A time to dance, a time to mourn

I would love to hear your feedback and thoughts about what you just read.  I welcome differing viewpoints.  Please comment below and I will respond!

The Thriving Artist is a subset of Cafe-Girl Productions,Inc, a film and media company with the emphasis of helping the world to become a better place.  Support us at: www.patreon.com/cafegirlproductions

What's Your Definition?

 

In the year 2008, I made the most important and lasting decision of my life.  It was difficult to do as it flew in the face of acceptability in society, but I will never be sorry that I made it. 

What was this decision, you ask?  Well, I will tell you.  In 2008, I made the vital call to actively make my health my career, as it were, to not seek employment in exchange for taking the necessary time and pause of life to heal my mind from the complications and stressors of having Bipolar Disorder.  It was difficult, as you must know, this was before the dawn of the "semi-colon movement" and mental illness was still very much in the dark encased with an immensity of stigma.  I was not completely "out" to the world or most of my friends, and when I did so, I did so with much anxiety and fear of judgement or worse, loss of their friendship.

The first distinction I noticed in society was the degree of how much individuals defined themselves by their occupation, their employment.  After introducing myself, the next question to come was "So, what do you do?"  This question always left me reeling a bit, as at that time, I couldn't give a direct answer.  So, as of yet not knowing the true consequence of this action, I chose a passion of mine I'd had since I was able to hold a pencil.  I said, "I'm a writer."  In those days, I was still a decade from over-coming my crippling low self esteem and belief in myself (belonging to a conservative church at the time that preached endlessly our unworthiness wasn't doing much to help either).  

But, that one small action catapulted me forward in my recovery and the realization that the outer would never suffice in shaping my true identity.  

Since then, I have had a myriad of steady employment and often work several part-time jobs, as well as actively starting the production company, that add up to the full-time job.  All who have seen my business card are aware of the long list of occupations I am capable of, not that I am but what I do.  Notice that difference.  For just as I do not say "I am Bipolar" but rather "I have bipolar", I see now that that any reality of the external, the labels enforced upon us in society, be it employment, gender, religion, etc, will never be fully sufficient to define who we truly are within.

This reality became even more apparent to me last March when Covid-19 became the "new normal".  For my part, I realize, looking back, how free I have been with the labels of employment to not let myself get bogged down with the worry over loss of employment and income.  I am increasingly comfortable in my own skin so that I could actively choose and secure employment that, in fact, rose my income.  I have stopped seeing "the job" as a means to live, but as a means to thrive.

In so many ways, I know the fear that many are feeling due to this pandemic.  I know full well the anxiety that comes from low income and worries over finding and maintaining work.  I have been there, but even when I did, I had the awareness to realize that I was not defined by what I did but by who I truly was.  

In this time of tumult, when all seems shaky and full of peril, look within, not at the outward.  For that which is outward is fleeting and will fade, even people with whom we bond today have their seasons in our lives and will move forward when necessary.  

The truth of lasting peace comes from within, from truly finding and knowing yourself.  That is which myself or no one else can show you how, it is your journey to discover and all of the craziness of 2020, the internal shake-up you feel within is the internal wake-up needed to truly know yourself.

Who Am I

I want to start again, so I'll look within
Remember when I'd want in?
'Cause I don't know who I've become
But I will trust in it. Who am I to spend my life alone?
Forever looking for some place to call home.
Who am I, about to meet myself?
This should feel right but something don't.

Find what you read interesting? I would love to hear your comments and will respond.

The Thriving Artist is a subset of Cafe-Girl Productions, Inc, a film and media plus so much more.  Our mission is to help others learn to truly be the thriving artists they are meant to be.  To support us, go to: www.patreon.com/cafegirlproductions

Re-Examining 2020 In The View of COVID-19

In the start of this year 2020, while others were out reveling in the "Roaring Twenties" themed parties, I spent my night walking through the streets slowly, pondering the year passing away and thinking of what was to come.  Earlier in the day, I walked the labyrinth at the Methodist Church as I always do on NYE, releasing into the confines of time all of what 2019 was and looking forward with set intentions of what was to come.  The rest of the night was spent in similar fashion, and although I stopped by and visited a few gatherings (mostly Awake Cafe & Gallery), I was retired to my pad (where I was house-sitting) at around 10 pm. 

The message of the night given to me overwhelming was that of 'Vision', a play on the year then approaching and perfect eye-sight.  I mean no dis-respect in those ringing in the New Year with hopes of the roaring twenties, but I have never truly been a big party type girl. 

However, I think that intention has grounded me these last three months and even more so in these last two weeks as we now find ourselves in the season of quarantine.  It is quite interesting to note that in January I visited the eye doctor who showed me how to align my vision with the help of 'reader' glasses, with only one lens, the end result not just correcting my depth perception and physical balance, but emotional, mental, and spiritual as well.  With that simple act, so much overall growth of well-being has transpired.

That said, this year has already given me a sense of feeling grounded and with a clearer focus, which has shaped how I viewed the effects of COVID-19 on the world, my personal life, and that of my closest friends and family.  

I do not view this pandemic truly as the 'end of the world apocalypse, in a general sense, though I do view it as the end of an era.  As I joked with friends this week, the effect of human kind 'staying in' has had a positive influence on the environment which made me comment, "Its like Mother Earth had had an enough.  'I gave you a chance to change,' she said.  'But you did not.  This is a consequence, go to your room, you are grounded.'  

All joking aside, (but yes, humor is important in our spiritual growth and advancement), the truth of the matter is, we as a human race needed this.  And, not just humanity but all of life.  We had all, and I am just as guilty, gotten to caught up with the business of busyness to truly understand the purpose of living.  

COVID-19 is an external reality of a long inward truth, we, collectively and individually, have been ill for quite awhile.  We have tried many ways to appease, silence, and get over this sickness, but to no avail.  This blight would not be cured until its time, forcing us back into quite possibly the scariest place on earth, our insides.  

The humorous meme being passed around on social media is that reminding those who partied at the 'Roaring Twenties' shindigs on NYE that we got our "roaring twenties': the plague, the market crashing, the lack of alcohol.  But this isn't the 1920's, this is 2020, the year of vision and clarity, healing and wholeness. 

Yes, I believe a new era is dawning, a truth we can all admit regardless of our spiritual practices or lack there of.  But, in the birth of something new, we have to release unto death that which no longer serves us.  In a very real sense, we are 'being saved as if by fire' as we all plunge deeper into the depths of our own selves.  This 'sickness is not unto death' speaks Jesus (and I do not mean to make light of the physical deaths of those already lost due to COVID-19) but more to speak of the spiritual healing transforming and rising us up to a higher vibration.  

For in order for the world to be healed, for there to be peace across all the lands, it must first begin with each of us individually.  We must all go inward, reduce all the distractions of the busyness of life, and dig deep into our own healing.  We must cleanse, release, forgive, and ascend to the true enlightened selves we were born to be, and only then, will this world be the beautiful haven it is mean to be.  

Only then, will Mother Earth release us from our sequestered lives, allowing us to emerge from our cocoons of darkness and feel finally the true light of peace and love upon us, basking finally in the warmth of a healed and healthy humanity and world.  

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jVmB3lRjCmc

Team by team reporters baffled, trump, tethered crop.
Look at that low plane! Fine, then.
Uh oh, overflow, population, Common Food,
But it'll do. Save yourself, serve yourself.
World serves its own needs, listen to your heart bleed.
Tell me with the rapture and the reverent in the right, right.
You vitriolic, patriotic, slam, fight, bright light;
Feeling pretty psyched.

It's the end of the world as we know it.
It's the end of the world as we know it.
It's the end of the world as we know it, and I feel fine.

www.patreon.com/cafegirlproductions