Okay, I'm not gonna be like everyone else and say, "FU, 2020!" I recognize the humor in that thinking and even more so the hardships and agony this year has revealed. I get it, I feel ya, I really do.
Perhaps, it's because I am coming from a darn hard life personally that any degree of external hardship is just par for the course, roll up your sleeves, and get to it. Yeah, that's most likely a degree of it.
Because when it comes down to it, I'm damn thankful for 2020 for this year became a reset for me. If it hadn't been for a pandemic, I would have continued onwards in ways that were not necessarily altogether negative but not overall the healthiest of life paths. I am not saying that I was doing anything way way scandalous like 'doing lines of coke off a hooker's bum in a shady gas station bathroom" (How did I even come up with that?), no, nothing like that, honest I swear. But rather, I was caught up in the rat race of competition and pursuing a shadowy long-off dream that I could not see what was really important, did not have the time for myself and those I truly love. Interestingly, this reset allowed me to realize that my heart must put its focus on those who love and receive my love unconditionally, with no degree of rules or stipulation on how I should behave, act, do as they decree. No, the haters I did not focus but let the toxic flush itself away and let the beam of truest love and loyalty have its day.
I've quoted for years, "Home is where the heart(s) is/are", and even made that the theme of my Doctor Who Fan Fiction, Homesick. The premise being that if I am at peace and at home with myself within, I am home without where-ever I may be. That's a cool reality and one still I attest to, but this year I took the notion of home into a deeper level and realized that there was another layer of reasoning of why I clung to that quote as a life verse. The answer being for many a year I felt no real grounding to a place, in a sense, the building that held my stuff was merely an address of which I received mail.
But that all changed this year.
I feel that for all of us the theme of 2020 can be that of home, whether positive or negative. For me, for the most part, it was positive. It was the first year where I experienced a grounding in a place, making a plot of land my own, which affected my overall wellness journey and outlook on life in that I thoroughly took the time to self-examine, forgive, heal, and release, learning to re-parent myself as I moved forward. In a very real sense of the word, I truly became a grown-up this year and discovered the key to adulting is in viewing it through the lens of child-like wonder.
Through the slowing down and reset, I was able to prioritize, focus, develop skills I never imagined I could have, and truly revitalize my sense of self worth. Through this process, the primary business, Cafe-Girl Productions, Inc, found its brand, its over-arching theme, that of the "Thriving Artist" upon which once it was revealed to me, it had been so clearly defined for so long it was crazy that I hadn't seen it, but such is the nature of the busyness of life to cloud out what really matters. It is not lost on me that the theme of Cafe-Girl, the overwhelming goal to help all those who join in, is thriving artist, because that relates to my self-worth and belief in self, how many times have I been in the presence of those who degraded artists as less than, not important, as well as society's belief in that as well. So, thus as the company found its brand, I claimed it for myself. I realized and recognized that what my business needed was not a catchy slogan or posh advertisement, what it really and truly needed was me, in all my brokenness, authenticity, integrity, and honesty, not hiding the faults, the flaws, the darkness. showing how all of it, the good and the bad, makes up the thriving artist.
Thriving doesn't mean fame and fortune, or even prosperity in the mere financial, it's about finding balance, wholeness, and peace in doing what you were born to do, that which makes you feel the most alive. Even more so, it's in finding the art and the joy in the mundanity of life, such as the 9-5 jobs, the household chores like doing the dishes or cleaning the toilet bowl, or even paying the bills. When viewed through this lens, life can be more than just a chore, but every minute of it an adventure. That is truly what it means to thrive as an artist.
Added together, 2020 equals the number 4. In numerology, the number 4 stands for loyalty, patience, and justice. I feel a sense of being solid, stable, and still which is perfect for this year 2020. It is interesting that in a year with such much tumult and upheaval, we found ourselves at such a stand-still. The lesson that could be gleaned from that is action can create distraction from the resolution, that all of our busyness in the years previous detracted us away from healing, and in having these distractions removed, we are left with the only thing that truly matters, ourselves. Thus, we are faced with the most important task of 2020, healing within.
If you add up 2021, you get the number 5. In numerology, the number 5 represents action and energy. There is a curiosity to life and in that an excitement to explore and adventure. With that as the emphasis, I think it pertinent to take the lessons learned in the stillness of 2020 to help empower 2021 to continue the thread of healing, but this time in an element of without. That's right, after a year spent looking within and internally validating, now is the year to focus outward, to help heal, uplift, and help others thrive. Let us remember as we healed and developed the inner, it was not done in a vacuum, there always has been a cloud of strong witnesses about to encourage, lift us when we are weakened, and keep us keeping on.
Happy New Year, dear ones, love your journey, love your thrive!
I want to hear your thoughts on what you learned in 2020. Share below!
The Thriving Artist is a subset of Cafe-Girl Productions, Inc. To find out more about us, check out our website at: www.cafegirlproductionsinc.com and offer your financial support, if you are so inclined, at: www.patreon.com/cafegirlproductions
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