My 2020 Survival
My dad died in the course of the pandemic. The rules seemed to follow me; no visitors the day after I checked him in, then we weren’t allowed to exercise with anyone but a relative, then we were on lockdown, not aloud to see friends the day after he died. Then they changed the rules so planes couldn’t come and funerals were suspended. When I picked up the ashes they just handed them to me in a tote bag, no hug, no face that I could see. Someone handed me a bunch of flowers like I just won Miss America. I frantically batted them down as I tried to drive a convertible in the wind. Things were not going my way. I went to have lunch at the Panda Garden but they had banned indoor dining so I just sort a had a picnic in the grass and I realized I couldn’t leave my dads ashes in the car so I set them down besides me eating orange chicken in a white dress with a huge bouquet of flowers. The drive-thru cars looked astonished. But I didn’t give a #$%@f. That's one thing my dad taught me.
Early on in the pandemic, when my dad’s sudden death sent me into a manic tailspin, I was so full of ideas I couldn’t write it all down. So many things I wanted to express but the main lesson I heard from my dad was that he wanted me to live a good life and enjoy myself. It was hard. But I am getting better. Talking to the parrot, going on my walks, creating comedy and music and sometimes essays like these. Connecting with friends and realizing that certain things are inevitable. It’s how you process them that makes the difference.
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