What the f**k, you say, looking at me with horror. Have I gone to the dark side of extreme conservative ideals, the Far Right, or rather have I fallen back into my old ways of believing in conservative Christian craziness.
A resounding NO!!!!!!!
Now, that we got that out of the way, let me explain. I'll start with when I was a very young impressionable, naive, hopeful girl in the nineties. Bill Clinton was president at the time and I was smitten with him, head over heels in my belief that he could do no wrong, trusting that he would lead the country in a way so that I did not have to concern myself or think about it at all.
Now, the nineties was a very sexually repressed by today's standards, yet also a time of sexual revolution. A character on a popular TV show couldn't use the word, Vagina, that's right, not even a slang for the body part. She couldn't say "vagina" without blushing or possibly without horrifying the network and risking the show being canned. So, they teased the viewer by bringing the character close to saying the word.
Meanwhile, women such as Lorena Bobbitt and Amy Fisher walked into courthouses to attest their reasoning for supposed sex crimes, inspiring multiple made for TV movies. Ellen DeGeneres announced her sexual preferences on TV with the now famous, "Yep, I'm gay" line. And, later down the line, towards the end of the decade, poor little Monica Lewitsky went down in history, like Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer, except for instead of the red nose she was looking at another reddish body part attached to...none other than the man who was the paramount of my idealistic youth, President Bill Clinton.
And, he didn't admit to this affair right away. But, there it was all over the news. You have to remember that in the 90's, we didn't have the access to information that we do today. The Internet was still pretty novel, you logged on through such things as America Online and were greeted with, "You've Got Mail" and then from there you ventured onto this thing called the Internet. Websites were clunky, there were things called 'web-boards', and you spent much of your time chatting to people in foreign countries on specifically designed chat rooms. It was a charmed time where the government could still successfully distract us with shiny things such as celebrity breakdowns, sexual scandals, and the like.
Since then, I have had access to more information and have learned much more about the behind the scenes detailed accounts of the Clintons' rise to power, at the expense of many. I have learned that Monica herself was just a distraction, a cover-up, for the real case against Bill Clinton, real estate scam and possible sexual assault. Yeah, that's right.
But, then I didn't know that. I believed his words during his presidential addresses as gospel truth, believed in the core of my being that he had my best interest at heart. My superhero, knight in shining armour, blah blah blah. (I just want to add that this blog isn't to bash the Clintons or be all that political. There is a time and place for that and it isn't really here, all that much. Especially towards the Clintons.) My focus is more on 'we the people' and how I discovered that that is really what America is all about.
So, when MY president, Bill Clinton, went on national TV and announced, "I did have sexual relations with that woman", my jaw dropped, my idealism shattered, and my heart broke. The next day, at my junior college on my lunch break, I sat in the sunshine, journal in my lap, writing my shocked thoughts about how he had let me down. This was the first time that my naive self had been threatened, my innocent belief in the good of people, was vanishing.
But, that day in the sunlit grass, I learned a valuable life lesson, that of, my life and the goings-on of the world around me, is truly up to me. A few years later, I would laughingly tell my friends, "Viva La Revolution" while taking photos of my current crush's beret in various locations and sometimes on perfect strangers. "The Revolution will not be televised, but it has been photographed," my best friend and I quipped jokingly. But, despite the laughter, it was not a mockery of the need for the country to wake up, to stop coasting along allowing the government to lead them by the hand, to distract with the latest shiny gadgets and celebrity gossip. No, America, don't be deceived any longer by this year's version of 'Monica Lewitsky'.
So, after the revelation of MY president's indiscretions and the subsequent realization of his other misgivings and faults, I slowly began to examine myself, my viewpoints, my ability to enact change and how to do that, and to allow my disillusionment to be the fuel to light the fire for my own revolution.
So, when Trump went into office, I knew it would be hard, but I had already suffered the heartbreak of losing my country on that sunlit lunch break in the grass in the late nineties. Added to that, I am Caucasian, yes, a woman with a mental health condition, who has suffered her own small version of marginalization, but being that I am "white", I have it a whole lot easier than some dear friends of mine, persons of color, or who consider themselves part of the LBGTQ+ community. So, I was ready, willing, able to fight the good fight when I watched Trump take office, to participate in the marches, vote every chance that I could, donate as much as possible, and to be a light of love and encouragement, a support for my 'fellow citizens'.
Since that time, almost four years ago (can you freaking believe that, we are almost done with him, America!), I have witnessed with wonder, great admiration, respect, and excitement as others have stood up to take back their country, their power, through political activism, protests, marches, discussions, and the like.
It's what I have known needed to happen for many years. In order for change to happen, discomfort is necessary to wake us up. Now, that we are awake, stay alert.
And, always, always, remember to love. Because love truly changes everything!
Viva La Revolution, my dear friends, and make the world a better place!
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