V-Day Approaches!

Lately, I have been thinking about that funny little thing called "love", the four letter word that we can never truly explain but know without a doubt its real when its real...Its the age old question, really, what is love?

As I was going through all of this, it dawned on me that the fateful 14th fast approaches, so maybe thinking about the Love concept isn't so strange this time of year? (Remember my New Years' Eve entry?)

So, less than a week away from the "heart-shaped" day, and here I am in a new relationship and four exes stalking the town (well, one ex-husband, two ex-boyfriends who are now friends, and one "I don't know what the eff he is so I'll just call him an ex and be done with it" guy), and I think, why? why do we fall in love? Looking back over all my tragedy with past love affairs, why have I allowed my heart over the past 6, 7, 8 months (Has it been that long?) to fall in love with this new guy? (I'm asking in all seriousness now.)

I only know, without a doubt, what I told my dear friend, Monica, today in a text:

"he is like the best guy i have ever been with, helps me be comfortable with me."

I know that, in my knower, to be true.  And, that is part of what scares me.

It scares me that I am starting to feel I can trust someone again, ever more than before actually.  It scares me to see my life with this new person, if possible.  It scares me to think that I may lose another lover...and this one would really hurt.  Because this one is REALLY my best friend.

Falling in love with Michael has been the strangest form of "love at first sight"; when I first looked at him, really looked at him, that day in a cold warehouse community theatre when he broke down in front of us, something about him touched me, really made a difference.  I saw him.

As my character from Light Sensitive, Edna says , "When you fall in love with someone, there's a moment when you take a picture of that person with our hearts, an emotional snapshot, and if you're lucky, if you're very very lucky, that person you fall in love with will always resemble that snapshot."

Here's hoping this guy doesn't change, but always resembles that vulnerable, passionate man I fell in love with.  Because it was truly love at first sight, I just didn't know it then.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vZqcWwYPHuQ