In a few short months, I will launch upon the world my business's newest service, the life coach and thriving artists workshops. This coaching and workshops will utilize a variety of artistic means with the intention to birth healing and freedom into the client's or participant's life. For the last year, I have been busy writing lesson plans and creating a business plan with these new services in mind, updating my social media, website, and business registration with the new name, logo, and means of operation. Now, with the launch upon me, there is a marked degree of trepidation.
For the last couple years, even during the pandemic, I have finally found my thrive as a gigworker, establishing myself as a dogwalker/sitter, fine art model, and paid, working actor, resulting in finally feeling stability increasing within myself as well as without. The act of finally stepping out into a sustainable entrepreneurial life, with past mistakes and setbacks still looming over my head, leaves me with a twinge of anxiety causing me to hold back from taking that risk.
But, risk I shall, because one aspect of all the craziness of the last several years, is that I have become more comfortable in my own skin, with a security in my life and relation priorities, leading to the belief that "you don't have to be an expert, you just have to begin." Because of this, I have become able to and am continuing to fight off the "imposter syndrome". (Imposter-Shmoster)
With this newly minted security, I have been able to step back from the toxic and revel in the positive relations and love abounding, finally discovering what true friendship is through the faces of those who have remained or have come into my life bringing with them authenticity and true support. From those dear friends of mine, I have become to realize that I do have a skill level in helping others to thrive in a very organic and fluid ease of manner. The core of this natural ability comes forth increasingly from my no longer withholding all of me.
Because of my past history of trauma throughout all of my life, added to that the diagnosis of Bipolar Type 2, I have had a life fraught with a myriad of toxic relations (from familial to romantic and so much in between) causing a life full of despair and drama. Only in recent years, when with inner strength and resolve I know not how I acquired, I have stood up for myself, said no, turning myself away from all things toxic.
Furthermore, through this time of the pause in daily life, I have been able to stand in witness to all of my life, recognizing the fullness of the wrongs and harms I caused. With some marked degree of fear, I have begun the process of revealing all of the harmful and near psychotic ways I have behaved throughout all of my life, with the purpose not of bragging or minimizing, but of truly revealing all of me, showcasing, hopefully, the journey from who I was, whence I came, to where I stand today, more and more self actualized.
So, as I head into this new phase of Cafe-Girl Thriving Artists, LLC, the launch of myself as life coach and workshop facilitator, I know I must voyage in with an increasing desire to be fully authentic, truthful, and transparent in all of what I do. Knowing fully that some may flee, as I have done such horrific things admittedly, or run out of their own insecurity to not reveal and be transparent, but others will stay, those ready to receive and begin their healing journeys.
And, with that and my new life motto, "You don't have to be an expert or perfect, you just have to begin," I continue the steps forward in my launch, with gratitude for both the highs and the lows, the victories and failures, of all of me that brought me here today, ready to claim my true thrive and bring that forth for others.
"For such a time as this" has always been the purpose of my soul's evolution.
What I choose to do
Is of no concern to you and your friends
Where I lay my hat may not be my home
But I will last on my own
'Cause it's me, and my life
It's my life, it's my life
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