By now, everyone is aware of what is being deemed "the slap heard around the world" and the internet is all a-buzz with debates on whether Smith or Rock was right or wrong and what consequences should be dealt out for Will Smith. For my part, and this is important to express, I am not specifically on either side as I have always admired both for the unique talents they bring in their chosen creative pursuits. For one thing, I grew up with Will Smith, as it were, from the early days of his early rap pursuits into the iconic Fresh Prince of Bel Air, and watched with pride as he achieved greater success in a way that allowed him to fully express the breadth of his talents. In addition, I have always found Chris Rock to be very original in his comedic talents and also find him to be authentically unique in how he expresses himself in admitting to both his weaknesses, struggles, rights, and wrongs.
Unlike many, I was unable to watch the Oscars live but, of course, have seen the playback of the "big event". Thus, while watching, my heart was a wash with a great deal of empathy for the emotional flood that overwhelmed Will Smith in that particular moment, the pain, the shame, and remorse that, most likely, washed over him immediately afterwards. For that reason alone, I stand with Will Smith, because I, myself, have reacted outwardly in moments of emotional stress, in like fashion to the offense he did upon Rock. This doesn't mean I don't feel that there should be some form of consequence, for I had dealt to me much of consequence after my outbursts (such as loss of jobs, restraining order,etc), and can also assure you that before ever these legal and/or external ramifications were dealt, my conscience already was a-fire with remorse and shame, continuously beating myself up for how wretched I was. (A side note: I was also a practicing fundamentalist Christian at the time that taught the human heart was completely wicked, no good was in us at all, Jesus was the answer, that we should have self-confidence, but God confidence.) So, rest assured, I believe Will Smith is experiencing such storms of remorse and shame, such that the ramifications for his actions are already being dealt down, inwardly if not yet fully outwardly.
Now, okay, let me clear, I'm not saying that Will Smith has Bipolar or anything in that degree. I am merely highlighting my history with Bipolar Rage to explain why I specifically empathize and feel a stab on my heart in regards to his situation. Furthermore, when I was diagnosed with Bipolar, it was yet to be discovered the fullness of my dysfunction, such as having Celiac Disease and a long history with trauma resulting in complex post-traumatic stress disorder, and in addition, the term "Bipolar Rage" was not something that was fully understood at that time. (So, you are welcome for those diagnosed and experiencing such now, I helped shape that part of the diagnosis, my abusive history did some form of good after all, Yay.)
Now, that I have established that I am not diagnosising the "Fresh Prince" with a mood disorder, I must also input a few other points of significance as well. First, Chris Rock did not deserve to have his face slapped, violence is never a viable option when triggered or in disagreement of such, and our country's foundations decree that we are allowed freedom of speech. Furthermore, as a woman, I have never felt triggered or wounded by Rock's comedy. Comedians' role is to specifically hold a mirror up to society reflecting the absurdity and bringing light to a situation that may seem dire and dark. In addition, the position of comic, especially one so closely tied to SNL, is that nothing is out of bounds or sacred when it comes to the art of true comedy. Next, Jada Pinket Smith looks breath-taking with her shaved head, but, more importantly, she ain't no little woman that needs a big, strong man to stand up for her in anyway shape or fashion. Her husband has expressed on a regular basis that he knows this to be true.
So, all of that out of the way, let's re-focus our attention on Mr. Smith. Over the many years of his long career, he has had scant a controversy or been tabloid fodder. In actuality, he has been praised for how nice he is, humble, and hard-working, continually dedicated to his work and growing as an artist. However, in that long history, there is in the distant past a record of alleged violence, as mentioned here:
Shortly before he was cast, Smith was arrested in relation to an alleged assault on his record promoter, William Hendricks. He was charged with aggravated assault, criminal conspiracy, simple assault and recklessly endangering another person, but all charges were later dismissed.Excerpt from the article, "To hide the coward’: how Will Smith’s personal history may explain his Oscars violence" from The Guardian. (https://www.theguardian.com/film/2022/mar/28/will-smith-abusive-childhood-chris-rock-oscars)
In addition, Smith details in his book his history with childhood trauma growing up watching his father abuse his wife. In his acceptance speech, he made reference to his need to defend his family.
“I know to do what we do you’ve got to be able to take abuse, and have people talk crazy about you and have people disrespecting you, and you’ve got to smile and pretend it’s OK. But love will make you do crazy things.”--Will Smith, Oscar Acceptance Speech, 2022
In his memoir, "To Hide The Coward", Smith details the guilt he feels over not stepping up and defending his mother from his father's rage. This all ties into what has made Smith who he is, what shapes the decisions he makes, as an artist and a person. As he further explains in his memoir,
“When I was nine years old, I watched my father punch my mother in the side of the head so hard that she collapsed,” he wrote. “I saw her spit blood. That moment in that bedroom, probably more than any other moment in my life, has defined who I am.” Smith wrote that it wasn’t only the violence that traumatised him, but his own inaction in the face of it. “Within everything that I have done since then — the awards and accolades, the spotlights and attention, the characters and the laughs — there has been a subtle string of apologies to my mother for my inaction that day. For failing her in the moment. For failing to stand up to my father. For being a coward. “What you have come to understand as ‘Will Smith’, the alien-annihilating MC, the bigger-than-life movie star, is largely a construction – a carefully crafted and honed character designed to protect myself. To hide myself from the world. To hide the coward.”
Excerpt from the article, "To hide the coward’: how Will Smith’s personal history may explain his Oscars violence" from The Guardian. (https://www.theguardian.com/film/2022/mar/28/will-smith-abusive-childhood-chris-rock-oscars)So, Smith admits to a long history of trauma and the effects of that on his personal development throughout life. In addition to helping him develop as an artist, it's an excessive burden to shoulder throughout life, wounds that although seem to lessen through time and a variety of healing methods, but remain an inner reality nonetheless.
Added to that, the excessive stresses of the last few years, the isolation of the pandemic, the polarization causing the greatest divide, economic instabilities, racial injustices, have placed a toll on all of us. As we slowly emerge back out of seclusion, it is increasingly natural to feel a bit unsteady when it comes to re-starting social interactions whether it be minor or major, especially with one that has some form of mental struggles already inbuilt, as I can testify.
If what I know about Will Smith is true from watching him all these years, he will take the ramifications of his actions dealt down to him and, most likely, has already inwardly. As he has always been authentic in his word and deed, he will take what is handed down to him as he knows his position of role model for those looking upon him and thus will further himself to be a better, more authentic person as he progresses on his soul's journey as well in his artistic endeavors.
But, his action last Sunday, deserves another pause of thought in regard to the long-lasting effects of the pandemic's social distancing. As stated in Nami's "HOW TO MANAGE POST-PANDEMIC STRESS AND FONO (FEAR OF NORMAL)" article (https://namica.org/blog/how-to-manage-post-pandemic-stress/):
"As we inch towards a new normal, a first good step is recognizing that the pandemic is a traumatic event we collectively experienced. Then, we can take extra care to address our needs."
All types of persons have been affected psychologically by the forced time in isolation from regular social events, such that the thought of returning brings a strain of nervousness. In jest, we used to wonder what returning to social engagements would be like post-pandemic, but here we are. In truth, for many, the happiness of beginning again is mixed with a marked degree of anxiety, not from a fear of physical illness, but from the years' long absense of day to day social connection.
In this modern day world complete with being woke, cancel culture, and excessively calling out "trigger warnings", it is necessary to realize that what happened on Sunday night to Will Smith was the effect of truly being triggered, which does not make the action right, only explain the thinking that caused the action. This does not at all mean that Chris Rock, comedian, or any person should change their act, only that society itself, in view of how recent events have changed us collectively, need to be more aware and conscience of how their words and actions affect others. More importantly, this highlights even more the important need for sufficient mental health care for all as we journey into this 'brave new world' post pandemic life.
Articles used for reference and study for this entry:
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