One grows up with certain expectations, at least in the American social construct. That of, to get into a good college, find a good life-partner/wife/husband, buy the house with the garage, crap out the kids, etc etc etc. So, onwards into our lives we go with those societal expectations influencing our every move of what a happy successful life is to be. But, what of it when we pass those guideposts, coming out on the other side, we find it lacking? Where then is the hope of living to be found?
Full disclosure: This is coming from a woman with both a bachelors in science (A BS in Human Communication, y'all take that!), an advanced degree in teaching (which she will never use but still has to begrudging pay off the loans from it), has once walked down the aisle of wedded bliss, said "I do", then rather, "I don't", and has the divorce papers to show for it. Furthermore, this from a woman who was diagnosed in 2006 with Bipolar, who struggled with and fought hard to overcome her emotional and mental difficulties, to finally being able to use her mood disturbances for the greater good in bringing fulfillment to her creative desires. This also from a woman who spent just shy of ten years in a fundamentalist mainstream Christian church, having left, dealt with the fall-out from the pain caused by the deconstruction of her faith and loss of what she thought were her forever friends.
Yes, by all intents and purposes, I should be jaded. But, I'm not.
Because when it comes down to it, what our society and culture deems success and happiness falls flat against the true purpose of one's life, does not hold up weight against the greater scheme of the Universe's design. Now, please don't think I'm trying to sound piously religious or even spiritual, remember I left that all behind (see above paragraph). However, I do believe that the trappings of this world are mere constructs of our own desire for happiness and peace, not the real deal itself.
A dear friend of mine from college and I have a special title for the our hang out nights whenever one of us is visiting the other, we venture forth into the world for "No Fucks Given Night". This is not to say we are not dissuading the other from any sort of romantic sexual encounter, rather we are talking about our well-being and overall viewpoint of life. Because when life has dealt its fair share of bad hands, when you've overcome the difficulties of life that are myriad and plentiful, the daily activity of life becomes less of a complication or cause of anxiety. Basically, having all your sense of idealism shattered, coming out on the other side brings an awareness not only of your strength but also your internal understanding of self. This brings about not only a sense of peace and calm but true happiness despite the outward circumstances.
Thus, as life continues forward, and you find yourself without the manufactured societal enforced hopes, you can bravely say, "No Fucks Given", for you have found the true happiness found within, from having those external promises dashed and broken before your eyes, you come out on the other side of hope, existing more than you ever thought possible, more than you could have ever dreamt possible.
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