Photo Credit: Laura Irene
So this is me now: I am an actress, writer, model, and film producer. I took a risk and auditioned for a play in 2012 and was offered a part, an experience which awakened me to my truest purpose and calling. For years before, I had been floundering, feeling that I was meant for more than the 9-5, the "American Dream", you know, the job, the house, the two kids, and the two car garage. No, deep down it was always clear to me that whole thing was not my jive. And, try as I meant to conform and try to merge with the status quo, it never worked but always left a deep dissatisfaction within my soul.
So, I took a risk and went against the status quo, against the standard of normalcy and appropriate life goals, in short, I reached for my highest ambitions and as I stretch, my faith and love for myself increases, I leap forward. No matter the setback, its momentary as I keep moving forward.
I started Cafe-Girl Productions, Inc after tipping my toe into producing a script I had written, loosely based on a Doctor Who Fan Fiction web-series entitled "HomeSick". But, it was the previous summer, while on set working as a production assistant, that a friend sat down with me and said, "I think you would make a good producer, Lia." I thought he was crazy and had no clue as to where he was getting that idea or why he even thought that. Turns out though, he was right, I mean, he's a pretty smart guy, he is my friend after all. Throughout those early days of HomeSick, I discovered he was right, I did have skill in setting up locations, gathering props, crew, actors, food, filming, and then editing the short youtube video episodes. Not only could I begin something like that, I could and did finish it. It was on set filming HomeSick that I asked the cast and crew, what do you think of Cafe-Girl Productions? "I like it," said my friend, Susie, with an encouraging smile. And, that was all the confirmation I needed.
However, the term "Cafe-Girl" did not just appear out of nowhere. No, it most certainly did not. The phrase originated with me, coming from a year way back when I spent way too much time at a cafe, which you can guess it, was populated by way too many boys and scant amount of girls. In fact, at times I was the only girl amidst those boys. But that one year set me on a course of life that would color and define the rest of life, truly helping me to finally discover who I am and what is my highest purpose. Ultimately, that purpose is to be true to myself as a human, in my art, and to help other people to find that truth in themselves and to be able to create art that fulfills them. That is my personal reasoning for starting and continuing Cafe-Girl Productions, Inc.
There are a myriad of productions both in theatre and film that have been notable and life-affirming for my growth as an actor and artist. One that stands out that was somewhat difficult while doing a production of "A Christmas Carol" at a local community theatre. During the show, in the dead of winter, the roof was leaking and we were rehearsing, performing during a major rain and snow storm. However, the cast and crew, including myself, chose not to complain against these harsh conditions. In actuality, we were happy and that joy warmed our hearts. We joked, in our 19th Century English garb, how we were method actors truly understanding the reality of life in the 1800s. In fact, at one point during a big song and dance number, I slipped, graciously sliding to my knees, never missing a beat, and getting up continuing on with the dance. It was that togetherness and determination to create art that made audiences love our show and the theatre. It was that experience that has shaped my determination to continue and persevere no matter the challenge or hardship that arises.
I recall the summer I spent in Eugene, Oregon acting as one of the leads in "In Her Blood", a low-budget independent film. All of my life, I have felt this inward unworthiness and disbelief that anyone could love me. As I was on set, I'd look around at the cast and crew, full of love and admiration, but truly doubt the validity of their affection for me, believing that they were just tolerating me for the sake of the project. That turned out to be false and it was their involvement in my life during that time, creating and seeing the final product together, that helped me realize my worthiness of love. During that summer, I also spent the majority of my time at work within my own production company filming the next installments of the Doctor Who Fan-Fiction webseries, this time with Hearts-Sick & Homesick. I had never felt that I had successfully fulfilled the ultimate vision for HomeSick when we filmed it previously and so this gave me the opportunity and ultimately the lesson to 'never settle' for myself and for my art. Furthermore, it also helped me to realize my worth as a human and as an artist as I developed deeper friendships with the cast and crew, feeling their love, respect, and appreciation.
In addition to all this, there have been some very dark times. Times where I have felt severely betrayed and wounded, where I felt like throwing in the towel of Cafe-Girl Productions and even my life. One time was in the end of 2016, when working on the production of "Daggers In Men's Smiles". I initially tried to do as a play but felt the backlash and wounding of many of the actors, as well as director and stage manager with the ultimate betrayal of breaking up with me, backstabbing me, and walking away from not only the production but from me. After that wounding, I hit pause for a week, examined myself thoroughly, and once I had re-set myself, I got back up and decided to continue forward with this project as a film. My heart will ever be grateful to the cast and small crew that joined me in helping to bring my vision to fruition, under at times harsh winter conditions or while under the weather they stayed true to me and to the film. I had a similar experience with the first season of "Nate & Laura & How They Met" with the first attempt at filming. I had hired a very green, new director and director of photography who proved to be extremely manipulative and abusive. It shattered me horrificly and almost led to my removing myself from this planet, if it hadn't been for the love and belief I had from the previous cast and crew of Cafe-Girl, my ongoing family. But, beauty from ashes, I watched as the majority of the cast and crew of Nate & Laura stayed with me and along the way new faces began flocking to me, faces that I now call family. With this cast and crew, I have witnessed the most professional and hard-working bunch which has set the standard for productions moving forward with Cafe-Girl Productions, Inc.
Starting out, I feel the foundation for Cafe-Girl Productions, Inc that has been laid and which I am truly grateful for, is that of self-care and compassion, building one another up to help each other see their strengths, total teamwork as we work together focusing on our mutual end goals of creating beautiful, meaningful productions, lifting each other up and holding space for those of us that struggle in whatever way without casting judgment. These components have long since been my core values for myself and for others, it fills me with warmth that it has extended forward into my business and all my professional dealings. In addition, to our passion projects, our film and media productions, we give out these values in our dealings with the community, by helping to film quality audition videos for up and coming talent, in addition to headshots, and working with local businesses to film educational videos raising awareness about their company. In addition, we look forward to renting out our equipment to other local film companies and producers. We also are excited about other future community based products and services such as film reels for actors, directors, and more, acting classes, fun merchandise items that will bring a smile to many, and are excited about our newest media venture, The Raccy Podcast Network. With the podcast, we will engage the audiences with fun radio theatre style plays, interesting interviews, and more. Furthermore, as always I, as well as my colleagues, and those who work for Cafe-Girl Productions, Inc are committed to bringing forth productions that truly benefit society by raising awareness of a variety of social issues, such as mental health, #MeToo movement and women's rights, and political and environmental concerns.
I believe that my history as a professional actress in theatre and film, but also as a person with a mental health condition can influence Cafe-Girl Productions, Inc in a positive manner by not only moving the business forward productively but by keeping the focus on the relationship. For it is in relationship that we heal, create, and thrive!
For more information on me, check out my facebook page at: https://www.facebook.com/liarosedugal/
Also, find out more about Cafe-Girl Productions, Inc at:
Loved getting to know you a bit more....Hope we get to have the chance to work together.
ReplyDeleteThanks for taking the time to read this. I hope to get to know you too!
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