Vision 2014

Every year, and in fact with every opening of a show, I draw an angel card.  You know the ones that have a particular spiritual based word that is supposed to show a little of your purpose for the upcoming day, month, year, etc.  This last year for 2013 I drew creativity and what a year of an abundance of creativity it was; four plays, three films (small parts but you got to start somewhere), a radio play (which we need to redo), acting lessons, personal and community voice lessons, a ton of play readings, and my debut as a vocal coach.  This past month, I drew vision, which was particularly poignant as the last show I did, Light Sensitive, was about a blind guy (played by that  Michael guy I'm in love with).  The word, vision, got me thinking of what my goals would be for 2014 and more or less what 2014 would be like, and hoping beyond hope that it would be more amazing than 2013 proved to be.

Now, I always take the idea of New Years' resolutions with a grain of salt, as I think the rest of us are prone to do, however, like all of us, I do find myself getting a little introspective about the year that has passed and thoughtful in pondering the year to come (without trying to make too many promises or overly ambitious goals for myself).  More so, I am more reflective on the intensity of 2013 for its great losses and great gains.  For what I have learned, with great loss comes even greater gain.  For starters, this year I have been blessed with finally coming into my true calling as an actress and even more reinvented myself with the new name.  A rose by any other name would smell as sweet is more true than ever imagined.

Furthermore, I think that the year 2013 can best be summed up with the song, "This is the stuff" by Carolyn Arends.  As Carolyn croons, several lines resonate within me, "love and heartache in between", "friends to keep you up all night laughing till you cry", and "dreams to dream, plans to make", those and more naturally reflect what that year became and how it will be remembered.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4q9PE8Qy8Ko

So, what is my "vision" for 2014?  Well, for starters, some are great, some are small.  Some seem more attainable than others but all at this point in the game all are dreams to be fulfilled, such as to continue in theatre & film, become a better singer, get one of my plays produced in some fashion at last, become debt free, save money, and travel more.  All attainable, hopefully yes.  Will they be? Who knows but the point is only to hope and to never give up dreaming, while still taking life one day at a time.  At the end of it all, I may not have achieved all that I set out to do but what I did will probably be even more than I can imagine, and really, isn't that how it always is?

At the most, I dream this new year will bless me with more love, more laughter, more light, a few tears, but many friends and loved ones with whom to share my days, dreams, and hopes.

New Years' Eve Resolutions, or something like that

Now, I know what you are thinking, who makes resolutions these days, I mean, who really keeps them?  So, that's why I added "or something like that".  It seems like all of us, without consciously thinking about it, tend to rethink our lives around the New Year; pause for self analysis.  And, usually we know from childhood, when we actually made resolutions, that they are usually broken, because sometimes they are a little far fetched, or sometimes a little out of the blue, something maybe we haven't already been praying about, meditating on, or pondering over and preparing ourselves for over the past months.  And, as you may know, I have been going through a bit of hard spot these past few months, but with diligence and faithfulness and prayer, I have walked myself through it and given much thought to what I need to be healthy.  Here are a few:

1.) Put my health first, ie all forms, physical, emotional, mental, spiritual, they all connect in some way.  Be more mindful of my health and wellness, and hope against hope that the fragments of my biology, mind, and heart can be mended into a whole, but with patience, peace, and rest in waiting on God; after all, God is not through with me yet.

2.)  Get off meds, ie psychotropics (mostly for the healthy babies I want to have), and this might take a couple to a few years, but its a worthy goal, and its one that will take a lot of learning about diet (what goes into the body), the right supplements, diligence to pursue exercise in some way daily, pray, meditate, read the bible every day or more (just, in general, pray more/meditate more, basically retrain your brain to be more mindful and focused.)  Make getting healthy your main career.  Chart your moods, sleep schedules, diet, exercise.

3.) Be more mindful, in general, of how you behave around others, the words that come out of your mouth; pray that your speech and conduct is seasoned with the holy spirit, a spirit of gentleness. 

4.) Be on time, more mindful of your time.  Organize your time so you can wake up for work with plenty of time for devotionals, exercise, meditation.  Get your sleep cycle under control, with or without the lorezapan. 

5.) Be more conscious of your appearance, take better care of your hygiene, ie at night, have a bedtime ritual that includes brushing your teeth, washing your face, and also read some kind of spiritual book or pray or meditate to calm your mind.  Try to get your hair trimmed and face waxed once a month.  Get to bed at a reasonable time for what your needs are the next day.  Eat healthily and regularly, no matter how the meds make you feel or if its that time of the month, etc.

6.) Write every day, do more artistic activities, join a writing group, if possible, and read more.  Now, the reading one will be the easiest because no one ever has to tell me to read, all my life I've read multiple books at a time, been a bookworm with my nose almost firmly planted in the pages, devouring the words.  But, the writing, well, I must not beat myself up too much if I don't get to it for awhile, but just do my best to accomplish what I can.

Now, that's all I really want to commit to, or just ponder committing, lastly, of course, pray with and for my husband, ask questions and be more attentive to his viewpoints, his work schedule, try not to sound too pushy or controlling or codependent; just be attentive to his needs, as well as mine, and do what I can to make him happy, healthy, and well.

Day Thirty-One: God The Healer: A message for the New Year

                                                      Happy New Year!

    "I do not cease to give thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers"  Ephesians 1:16


A long discussion was had today about the nature of Christians and prayer life between my husband and I.  Something dawned on me, I mean, struck me as odd in my personal and public prayer life.  I mean, we Christians pray for the "poverty line", sometimes praying just give me what I need....But, in reality, God tells us what we ask for in faith, he will bless it with.  He will pour down the riches of heaven on us, if we look to him for all our needs.  He will give to us in abundance.  Why?  Because he loves us!  And, I, for one, have been praying this poverty line prayer when all along I have been reading scriptures like "ask and you shall receive...", "seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness and all things shall be added to you"...."what you ask for in faith, shall be given..."  So, if I've got the faith, why aren't I asking that way?

So, I can't promise you, readers, that you won't go through troubles and difficulties this year, pain and sorrow, but I can promise you victory if you pray that way.  So, why not try taking God at his word and praying for victory and the ability to overcome our adversities and pray to thrive in the world?  Because, without sounding to name it and claim it, I am really starting to believe that God will bless you abundantly if you ask for it.  So, ask, in faith, and believe.  Ask for greatness and expect great things to happen.

So, one new years resolution I can make to you all, that I can't promise to be consistent at, is to pray for your abundance and victories this year to come.  So, tonight when you celebrate with your champagne, tip a glass of celebration that this year will be the year, that in faith, you will thrive, your dreams will be met, and all your needs will be taken care of, abundantly so.

Start praying, brothers and sisters, because he is looking to answer.

"If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him."  James 1:5