Wife and Mother Finding A Way to Make It Work!

Jamie Bouy is a young wife and mother living in Morgan City, Louisiana. I recently connected with her on Facebook through the health and wellness company, “ItWorks Global” of which she works. ItWorks Global is a faith based company that is active in 23 countries, focusing on changing lives in many ways, with the end goal of producing a better lifestyle for all.

Jamie discovered ItWorks Global through another girl on Facebook, who was just like her but found a way to alter her life for the better. This lifestyle inspired Jamie and brought the revelation that if this girl could do it, she could too. Jamie's faith is the most essential part of her life and she believes wholeheartedly that God created her 'to be successful and have faith in him' above all else. She also loves the fact that through this company she has made friends all over the world, who are also finding success through having faith in God and being happy through following His calling. She states that the business, on every level, would not work without having faith in God and His provisions.

She explained that she joined the company knowing that it would help her make a better life for herself and her family. In addition, she found that she was following her passion of helping others to have that better life through healthier living. ItWorks Global believes wholeheartedly that their products can work in bringing about optimal health and a better life for all. In that, they will willingly work with all their customers, supporting them in their growth as individuals, not in a corporate mindset. ItWorks Global has a passion to help others, seeing the best in all, and hopes to help all live their best lives.

ItWorks Global's first product was their contouring wraps, which promised to tighten and tone the body starting with the neck, then downwards, in 45 minutes or less, and delivered. From there, they want on to create ItWorks Keto Coffee, which burns fat and satisfies hunger, giving you the ability to manage your physical weight and reaches your goals. Next, they have their Our Greens and Just Celery powdered, mess free products which help to detox the body.

For more information about ItWorks Global or to order some of their products, head over to: jamiebouy.itworks.com.

A Blog About A Dream I had

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GZudpHzV9vk

So, hereto, begins a dream I had and since its regarding a popular 80's and 90's TV show that had a huge influence on me, both as an actor and as a human, I think it fits in within the Cafe-Girl theme of all things film and media related, in a sense.

In the age where TV shows and films from my youth are being rebooted, I think its fitting that this dream centered around the reboot of my beloved Night Court.  

So, the reboot of this fabulous work of pop culture art began with each episode following the life span of each of the main characters from the cast above.  My role was as a daughter to the lead, Harry Stone, and my story of growing up as the daughter, Elizabeth Stone, wove through the tapestry that is the lives of those involved.  With six episodes beginning with of course, Harry, Elizabeth traveled between each character discovering their origins that led them to be a part of the story viewed on Night Court and what their lives were like after, told in an almost documentary style with a flashback  on past images.  Their stories helped Elizabeth come to terms with her own life purpose and make the decision to finish law school, following in the footsteps of her father.  

The final episode followed Elizabeth in present day, fully grown, trying to make sense of her life, figure out what she was meant to do, her life purpose as it were.  At one point, we discover that after a failed marriage leaving her pregnant with twins, Elizabeth has developed an addiction to anxiety medication.  This leads her to a mental breakdown ending in hospitalization where she is being scolded for the addiction as they are harmful to her unborn children, the pills of which were prescribed by a doctor.  Alone in her hospital bed, in the agony that comes from guilt, she lay hooked up to monitors and in the pit of despair.  Her father, Harry, came to her, crawled beside her in bed, and held her close as he sang the lullaby he had created for her as a child:

"Rest my precious darling

Be at peace my beautiful darling

All will be made well

Rest my precious darling"

At this, Elizabeth was able to rest to the point of a deep sleep and upon waking the world seemed not so desolate or desperate.  We, then, find ourselves in a montage: 

Elizabeth completing the bar exam.

Elizabeth taking her two children to daycare.

The camera following a judge walking through the halls of a courthouse, people nodding, saying, 'Hello Judge Stone.'

The door of the courthouse being opened, a woman clerk saying, "All Rise, The Honorable Judge Stone presiding".

The camera pans around as Elizabeth enters, not Harry and crosses up to her bench. 

She glances in the direction of the court clerk and sees Mac, fade into the new court clerk of a young perky woman.

Then glancing at Christine Sullivan who fades to a young male attorney.

 Then glancing at Dan Fielding who fades into a young and very sexual female DA.

 Then finally glancing at Bull and Roz who fade into new guards.

 Then back to Elizabeth who says, "Please be seated".  

She then picks up the gavel, looks at it, "All right," with a twistful flare, then banging it, she says, "Let's do this."  

The credits roll and with that a new day dawns, the reboot of Night Court with a new cast, new storyline has begun.

Okay, I, for one, think that would be a bomb-ass reboot, I don't know about you and part of the reason for sharing it is so I can remember to write it down for the hopeful purpose of seeing it become a reality.   But, the dream has an even deeper meaning for me personally and as my life and art are free falling happily into a realm of truth to the point of radical, I will share that with you all now.

As a child already dealing with depression and anxiety, I found such a reprieve and comfort in Night Court, to the point, that I fantasized that Harry Anderson was indeed my father, that I was a part of the show.  The character, Elizabeth, was not something I dreamed up last night but a life-long fantasy, if not desire.  As a child, I did not fully understand this desire, but now I can see it stems from a deeper need for connection with those that love unconditionally and seek to uplift.  For reasons I care not to divulge at this time, that was lacking within my own heart.  Thus, this dream has the deeper meaning of finding healing, comfort, and courage from this sort of family.  

There are times, even in my present adult life, where I just wish I could close my eyes, take a deep breath, and I was Elizabeth Anderson, with the past dream of being a part of this show.  Times when life seems too difficult due to a plethora of issues ranging from financial woes to emotional blights, I find myself desiring to disappear from this reality and to appear in this almost tangible yet unreal reality.***

But, if that were to happen, in truth that reality would have its host of problems and issues.  Life is full of both the good and the bad and its our, at times, difficult job to find the gratitude and lessons learned within each moment.  In this, the goal of our individual lives is to continuously evolve to find understanding, peace, and become whole within our life circumstances.  

Dreams

I know I've felt like this before

But now I'm feeling it even more

Because it came from you

Then I open up and see

The person falling here is me

A different way to be

I want more

Impossible to ignore

Impossible to ignore

They'll come true

Impossible not to do

Impossible not to do

Now I tell you openly

You have my heart so don't hurt me

You're what I couldn't find

Totally amazing mind

So understanding and so kind

You're everything to me

***(Perhaps that's the story to be told, of a young girl's fantasy becoming true and the lessons learned.  We shall see.)

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Evolving

Recently, I attended an event with the local film community which prompted an interesting revelation of my soul.  Increasingly in the past year, I have become more and more introverted and a self professed, dutiful homebody.  More-over, I have realized that I need not apologize for this lifestyle choice and yet I do find myself doing just that.  However, as I progress along my spiritual path, I am learning daily to practice self care necessary to maintain mental stability to achieve optimal emotional health and enhanced spiritual atonement.  Basically, as well as working several survival jobs, getting the production company thriving, focusing on my own artistic endeavors, that is my internal and most important focus.

So, at this film event, surrounded by the faces of beautiful souls who I had not seen in a minute, I was struck with the discovery of how my own self work and spiritual growth had changed my perspective.  For the record, I do see the value of attending such events as well as supporting my friends in their artistic endeavors of all sorts from a professional standpoint as well as of the heart.  However, I do find that my soul is one that needs a lot of down time to recover from the busyness and business of my life.  In every social situation, I pour outwards more than I internalize.  Added to that, I am currently in a major transitional position in my life that has me at times in an emotional precarious space of mind. 

So, back to the revelation:  My confidence and self worth had grown to such that I no longer felt the need to concern myself with the politics of the pursuit of being accepted.  So much of my life in the last few years has been weaning myself away from the toxic element in relationship and actively choosing the positive and pure.  This active choice has not only healed the intense damage from a lifetime of abuse but has provided me with the strength to endure the changing tides of life and love.

I realized that all this intense spiritual seeking has in fact provided me with a perspective change.  I no longer feel the necessity to 'play the game of politic' as a means to advance my career or approval rating.  I know it is a fashion of the industry I am in as well as a facet of our society, but what is occurring in me is taking me to a higher level.

To be honest, I am evolving. 

And, what is the catalyst that is causing this evolutionary growth spurt?

Love.  Simply love. 

Taking the space to heal and rest has provided me with an increased appreciation of myself, a strength to persevere, an ability to carry a soft heart with a thick skin when the slings of the narcissistic abuser tried to overtake, the increasing ability to choose to not fall sway to the power of the abuser and in a sense take back mine, and thus to continue to see the larger view of the world, the universe, life in all its finery and sometimes ugliness.  Actually in the ugly moments there is at times the most beauty because that is when we grow, heal, and learn. 

Evolve.

I want to express my humility and sincerity that I do not mean to place myself on a high altar.  I do not see myself better than anyone nor do I see my spiritual enlightenment as a means to show off.  We are all on our evolutionary process upwards, each at different levels of growth.

There is no race to the finish line, truly in love and honesty we must seek to assist others to grow more fully into their highest selves.

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Not Mere Words, Intention

Back in my fundie days, there was a popular turn of phrase passed around, Christianese.  It was a word describing the fundamentalist way of speaking about their faith.  Christianese, the pastor would explain, will confuse a non-believer and make it hard for them to be converted. 

This explanation I have come to realize is an underhanded realization and expression by the pastor in saying, "We sound cray-cray to the heathens, we gots to change that."

However, as I progressed further through my fundie journey, it wasn't just the non-believers shunned by the chosen language of the so-called followers of the faith.  More and more, the way certain denomination spoke reflected that particular sect and separated from another church.   They would even go so far as to severely judge another's walk if the right words weren't said.

Why am I bringing this up now?

Because increasingly in this modern age of radical honesty and political correctness, I find those more with the liberal bent bringing to mind my former fundie friends in that its the words, not the intention that are the focus. That said, like Christianese, the politically correct liberal have taken on the same philosophy. 

Are you using the correct pronouns that one has chosen for themselves? Are you aligning yourself in any way with one who is known to be racially unjust?  Are you body and slut-shaming the victim of rape while siding with the abuser?  And, on and on it goes until a person who goofed on a certain phrase or wording is, as the kids say, cancelled.

Right.  Okay.  I am one for self-discovery and honoring one's journey in search of that.  I am one that wants to honor one's truth and I do my best to use the correct pronouns and align with their life decisions in a way that is honoring to both them, myself, and the rest of society.

But, wait, did I not use the correct wordings in my last paragraph?

What if I did? What if I didn't?

You know what? Its okay.  Why? Because I ask you sincerely and with utmost honesty, look at my heart, not the mere outward appearance.  Focus on my intention, not the mere words.  It's becoming easier and easier in the age of social media to react quickly rather than stop, listen, discuss, and try to really understand.  The result, the gap widens and we are split from true interaction that would uplift our soul's growth.

So, let's steer clear of becoming liberal fundamentalist and not get encumbered with the wordings, allowing ourselves to become swallowed up by the need to react, lest we become that which we hate, angry with our own prejudices, and even worse, isolated. 

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You take the good, you take the bad...

 ...You Take Them Both
Facts Of Life Theme Song

Here begins my voyage into the exploration of the spiritual with the usage of pop culture, specifically that of 80's TV sitcom references, at least for this entry. 

The theme song commences with, "you take the good, you take the bad".  In life, we often happily take the good, singing happy praises on social media, beaming with how we are hashtag winning; then the bad comes along, social media is similarly flooded with posts but this time about how life is cruel, sucks, and beats you down.  I am not immune to this either, not a perfect human I will happily admit, although I am not that prone anymore to sharing my private life, positive or negative, on the social media platforms, preferring to maintain it primarily as a professional arena. 

All this to say, this tendency is an aspect of human nature's reactivity as well as a component of life that the highs follow the lows, the lows the highs.  It has been said, life is hard, but suffering is optional. 

Per example, last week I was sitting at the DMV waiting for my number to be called, but took that opportunity to cross some other items off the list, one of which was responding to a call from a casting director about a part in a feature film, a major opportunity of growth for my career, definitely a #winning moment.  I took the call, accepted the part, and recorded the particulars in my planner.  Then, I got called to the charming little lady at the DMV desk who gave me the wonderful news of the hoops of bureaucracy.  I was a bit peeved. 

But, I share this as an example, of how in life comes the good, sometimes instantly followed by the bad.  Neither reflects aspects of karma or whether or not you are "hashtag blessed".  It is not an indication or a reaction based on how good you have been doing in your "spiritual walk" as it were, in any regard.  It is just a simple fact of life. 

Along comes the positive, then the negative.  If you are at all like me, prone to depression, you have the all too keen ability to overly dramatize the fortitude of the negative, claiming how horrible your life is, how cursed, how everything seems to continuously fall to shit.  Perhaps that is merely because its where you and I have a tendency to put our focus...

What if we were to not? I'm not saying let's live in the blindness of bliss, forever plastering a glossy smile on our face.  That brings up flashbacks of my Calvary Chapel Fundie years and I'd like to take a pass on that, thank you very much. 

But, what if we were to choose to take each moment as it were, to truly begin to breathe in and out, following the flow of life, without judgment, without concern that we aren't where we should be? Who set this shoulds of our life we so dutifully follow? The who is regardless as it comes down to our choice to follow, to believe in our always not measuring up, not attaining that goal set in some arbitrary fashion based on some arbitrary rule of social norms that are indeed not at all important to who we truly are and our well-being.

I think once we can choose to breathe in and out, not judging the moment, becoming overwhelmed with gratitude of something good but turning to frustrated when the bad comes in, we can begin to internalize a change on our mental focus.  And, mind you, this is an active choice.  As I write this, I know I will fall short, will fall back to the annoyance and pain of hardship, possible mere moments after feeling the thrill of the win, but I will persevere towards the goal of mental health and wholeness. 

Not happiness alone, but inner peace that abides no matter the external circumstances.  For the highs will come, the lows will as well.  We will find ourselves on the high mountaintop of life, only to come crashing down into the lowness of the valley.  Our emotions will flow upwards and downwards along the tides of life. 

These words bring to mind the Christian thought and rhetoric I learned in my fundamentalist years,which I believe is not accidental.  No, I am not returning to the faith, as it were, because indeed I never left.  Increasingly in my studies and as the years forward time, I am of the opinion that all spiritual faith and thought is intersectional in its overall end result.  All profess that by becoming a believer of said religion or spiritual belief, true inner peace will be made apparent no matter the joys or trials of life.  If that is the eternal lesson from life brought down from the ages from a myriad of gurus and spiritual leaders, mind we take a listen and not balk it off as some form of woo-woo bull-shit.

This is not an easy life course to follow, we are none of us perfect and all are on the path towards enlightenment, according to our own journey, purpose, and belief.  I would just gently suggest that as we breathe in the moments of life sans judgment, we nudge ourselves closer to not overly intensifying the bad but instead allow it to flow through, teaching the life lesson that is needed and as we do so, adjust our mental focus on what we desire, for as the very true quote on the top of this blog says, "What You Visualize Becomes Your Reality."

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Good Night 2019, Welcome 2020

So, here we are, 2020. And, now I must take a moment to reflect and officially say good night to 2019.

2019, you were a great year. I learned and I grew so much. Earlier tonight at the labyrinth, I learned with what quiet strength and focus I walk now, each step is deliberate and my eyes look straight ahead with certainty even in the unknown. I have so much and so many to thank for that grace given to me. The times of (now) last year, both positive and negative, have richly strengthened me into a better version of myself, stronger, more capable, not afraid to fail, to lose....

Of the losses, I found gains, a deeper understanding of myself. In truth, throughout many times in 2019, I sat with a younger version of myself, 15, 23, 27, looked deep within her eyes, asked her what she needed, her answer was in some variation of, to be seen, to be heard, to be valued. And, I gave her that. It was the loss of Luke Perry that brought a deeper appreciation of myself, my love for Beverly Hills, 90210 long since a forbidden secret, something I was afraid to admit, but the heartbreak of his death, gave me the determination to reveal. As Tori Spelling said, "maybe going back is what we need to move forward" and as I looked back at that time, I found strength in an unlikely Goddess, I realized how much influence that show had given me in my life and even more so, that of Shannen Doherty. I believe spending time with her version of the Goddess gave me a new deeper appreciation of my power and ability to truly #fightlikeabrenda.

My understanding of self as spiritual deepened through the productions of which I was cast, specifically during the spring months through back to back performances in the Vagina Monologues, season two of Nate & Laura & How They Met, and Dixie Swim Club. Through each of these experiences, I began exploring the true meaning of the Goddess and came even closer to knowing and seeing her in all her variety. For those that shared the stage and screen with me, or who helped bring those stories to life, helped me explore the character's story and make it my own, I thank you from the very bottom of my heart through all of me, you are each a valuable facet of who I am, we are one in spirit forever.

To the characters I was given to live truthfully this year, to my Lexie, thank you for showing me that I do not have to hide any part of myself, or be ashamed of how I looked. Even though much of your life was spent trying to change, what you showed me was that truly what you valued was the inside, what mattered was who a person is at their core, and when it was necessary you were there for those you loved, without needing any fanfare. That was such a great lesson.

To my Laura Shelton, I am honored that you came from above these last two years, through my fingertips, and out onto the computer, then the screen...Its been a journey fulfilling your story, learning the lesson you have to offer...as always to be bold, to be of service to your friends, those you love, and live truthfully in your own power.

To my Tootles, my brave little lost boy who, in the end, wasn't afraid to grow up, you helped me understand a different viewpoint of the Goddess, she as Mother. Thank you for that healing. Toots, off you go to your studies, learn all you can, but never give up your childlike enthusiasm! For the Wendy Lady!!

For my Sick fam, my love for you is forever and eternal. As the song goes, I have loved you for a thousand years and will love you for a thousand more...you have my heart for all of time, never shal that change, and I will always be grateful to each of you for your healing strength helping me to find and fulfill my calling. I would not be where I am today without each of you, nor could I have made it through some very dark times.

For my Drunk Ex Pastors & Patron Friends---what's a little religious trauma among friends, huh? Truly my connection to you has made the pain a little more manageable, a little less existant. Thank you for continually showing me that I am not crazy, that I can laugh about my past self, and move onto a better, happier, healthier version of myself. I truly love you, your Sis Not In Christ, Lia.

For my Neverland fam, I will always be grateful for the adventure we took together, the lust to wander as it were, from those early days of Sunday evening workshops to grueling summer rehearsals stumbling through the newness of immersive theater, to the magical world we created, bringing the childlike discovery back to audiences, helping them to truly realize that they do not ever have to grow up. Nor do we, #nevergrowup.

For the cast of One Of Us, I cannot ever thank you enough for bringing this beloved truth of my life to the 'stage' for the first time. You touched my heart to an inner core and held me heart in place when it bled out the pain and healed.

To my new friends at Awake Cafe, I am so happy to be getting to know you. You never fail to bring a smile to my face. I love your enthusiasm and passion for life and your creativity. I look forward to more creative conversations and collaborations in 2020.

For my co-producers in crime, West, Erin, Michael, thank you for your patience, your graciousness, your listening and advice, encouragement, and mostly for your love...it has sustained me and given me the strength I need to persevere. I got you as you got me!

For Michael,I know this year has been transitional and difficult at times. Thank you for the patience and for being humble in your healing and grief. You will endure, your life does matter and have worth.

For my twin flame, that is how I address you because that is who you are and you know this. I am ever so grateful you returned to me this last year, walked into that library room that evening in January as I entered a cafe so long ago...I see now the whole point of our time at the cafe was you...even as we were separated all these years, we never really were, nor shall we ever be. It is a force deeper than either of us that pulls and binds us together, a magical entity that guides us again and again back to each other. Welcome home, my flame, welcome back to another facet of yourself. Do I know what the future will hold? I do not, but one thing is certain, our paths will ever be mingled and connected, of that I can rest assured. I love you as my own being and my own soul, for that you are. Love is not a fiery blast that overwhelms, but truly a slow smolder that never burns or fades. Once again, I am grateful I no longer have to live without you anymore.

Lastly, I thank Goddess and God for revealing the dimensions of themselves to me. For continually helping me to journey deeper and deeper within, to the true contentment of my heart that is my real home. New layers of this understanding keep unfolding as I heal and grow, finding more and more peace and focus.

Good Night, 2019. Welcome 2020! Together, let's focus & see our true power & purpose unfold.

You by A Great Big World

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