My life may not be conventional but that means not that it is not busy. Increasingly, I am finding satisfaction and fulfillment working the gigworker full-time, having an intense workload with all my various paid for hire activities that it all adds up to the full-time affair. Furthermore, my bank accounts remain faithfully in the black and living within my means begins to increase higher as I decrease my overall debt.
That said, it isn't necessary a path for all. Some may thrive within the framework of the traditional 9-5, as it were, or rather working for an established business wherein an an employer defines the schedule for the employee. I am one that did not thrive in this societally approved established way of living, in fact, I lost my mind and was given the diagnosis of bipolar, unable to work the norm due to not being able to handle the stress of it all.
Disability does not cover all my expenses, both the monthly bills and the debt to be paid off, not to mention, you know, good ol' fashion fun, nor do merely pursuing the creative pursuits. For a year, I attempted to make my way following the path merely of creativity and found that the strain and constant anxiety of not having the regular income to care for my day to day needs over-weighed my ability to create. Thus, I had to return to the paid gig life and what I then discovered was the balance of producing the content through my creativity and scheduling the time for the many 'money-making' jobs helped secure my overall sense of self worth and peace of mind.
And, a balance it is,with two planners, one large and one small, and a wall calendar, each filled with markings of dates of employment and other necessary appointments, a myriad of spreadsheets managing my in-flow and out-flow of expenses as well as one for all my debts. In addition to my 'money-making' and personal expenses, I have a multitude of spreadsheet related to my self-employed pursuits as a film producer and entrepreneur extraordinaire.
As I increasingly find peace in this destined, long sought after, and finally attained path, I have discovered the art of clearly defining my personal daily and weekly schedule. EX: I wake up with a clear focus on what I need to accomplish for the day, the week, and the month, a regular list on a 3X4 card on my desk that I check off as I finish a task, filled with the dogwalks, modeling appointments, as well as the entrepeneurial tasks such as monthly newsletters, scheduling rehearsals and film shoots, and content creation for both short-term and long-term projects. Through all of this, I have discovered what fits for me personally, starting my work day with the variety of tasks around 8:00 am and ending around 6:00 pm; Yes, that's right, coming to a clear time when my brain decides it can do no more of this computer type busyness and must allow itself to freely fall into the evening activity without a care or concern related to the business mind present.
All that success mentioned, I still have moments of anxiety when the income seems to be trickling in slower yet with that there is increasingly less of a worry with the reality that I now always have a means of making the buck, bringing home the bacon, etc, etc etc. With that, the breath of fresh air is achieved and back I dive into the day's focus.
In truth, I could not think of a more happier time spent, a life that I was meant for, not the normal daily grind of the rest of American society, due to my health conditions physical and mental that cause some delay in my productivity at times. I do at times feel the backlash and judgment of the outside world, who see my work as little value because it nor I fit in with the assigned normalcy of career and employment. This is increasingly becoming less of an occurrence due to this post-Covid-19 reality of which we find ourselves within, wherein many are having to hustle into the gig-worker life to continue to survive, or more hopefully, to thrive.
However, I do still feel a bit of a pushback when a person employed by the established environ of normalcy has a day off and wants to 'go do something' or the times when I get a message or phone call requesting 'to come and play', a sense of frustration comes across when said individual hears me say, "Sorry, I'm busy," with the underlying 'what do you have going on, your schedule is flexible' theme.
Yes, my schedule is flexible, but it is, as mentioned above, clearly structurally defined by myself for optimal successful thriving. Furthermore, I have set aside the days of Saturday and Sunday as non-computer and other work time, in which I attend to the house chores, read, relax, and find time to play.
I will allow the reality that I have a tendency towards rigidity in my life, a means from the past in order to give some sense of false security and thus something I am continuously striving to lessen the hold. In addition, with one partner whose days off are currently Tuesday and Wednesday, I must allow sometime for us to truly connect and have scheduled date time for the health of our relationship. The other partner's days' off are equal to mine. Thus, living the polyamorous life as a gig-worker is even harder finding ways to balance time for work duty, relationship health commitments, as well as time to love the hell out of friends.
So, at last, what it comes down to, is that life is what one makes of it, one's path is one's to follow towards the highest fullfillment of wholeness of healing and evolution.
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What I choose to doIs of no concern to you
And your friends
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