What makes a place a home? What does it mean to truly come home? This is a common ongoing thread in my life and has been for the last several years. In fact, it helped to shape the storyline of Jane Smyth, the human embodiment of my Romana, in my production company's Doctor Who fan-fiction web-series, TimeKeys. (Click here: Timekeys)
The photo at the top of this blog is a picture of my childhood home, which in a few short weeks, my parents' will hand the keys over to a new family and a chapter in my life will officially close. This has sparked interest in not only finally settling down into my own established house but also cultivating my own sense of 'family home', one of which I can will and bequeath to my nieces and nephew perhaps someday.
Right, okay, that's a far off reality. Today, I sit reflecting on the nature of what makes a home a home, is it the physical or an immaterial connection? I think the latter. As I meditate on this, I am at present in the first residence of my adult life that truly feels like home to me, truly feels like mine, even though I am a mere renter. But why? I think my belief hearkens back to the truth my version of Romana voiced when she finally reunited with her Doctor, "Yes, Doctor, it's me, 'Home is where the hearts are'.
Truly, there have been a wide plethora of places in my life that I deem a "home" of sorts, from my childhood abode, to my various school rooms, to my summer camp, my best friends' houses growing up, and so much more. But, these places are mostly four walls with a roof, what makes them so special is the memories and the connections I made therein and therefore how that influenced who I am within. So, thus home is never truly a place but something that resides within.
In addition to the sense of home being a feeling, home has often been connected with a certain person or persons. I can relate as there are many in my life and have been in the past of which I feel a sense of inner peace when we are together. In truth, my time with them may have passed, be it by death or another life circumstance that moved us forward, but the memory of how that connection shaped me and implemented its lessons within resides far beyond and will always remain. Thus, an intimate relationship of the romantic nature is not merely the only connection that can make one feel at home, a friend, a colleague, even a frenemy can have that effect, for all connections we make therein have a significant purpose for the season they are in our lives. So, too the fabric of these connections weaves the tapestry that writes our story and unites us with the greater whole.
Finally, what truly is a home? It is not merely related to a place, nor is it found in another person. It cannot be defined fully by our connections with family, whether blood or chosen. What I discovered is that we can never truly arrive home if we are not at peace with who we are within. As I write this, my beautiful little valley in Southern Oregon has been hit by a devastating wildfire that has wreaked havoc on some local towns and left many without their beloved residential buildings where they once lived. Many are those I deeply care for and have corresponded with face to face, called friends, others I have yet to meet or may never shall. Either way, as the words fall from my brain through my fingers onto the screen, I ponder the nature of 'home within' when faced with a loss I have never fully experienced, suddenly having homelessness thrust upon you by the ambush of fire. It is a horror I pray I never shall experience and one I am grateful that I have not as these fires are not the first that have rampaged their way across the west coast, but has been a constant threat and reality for many a year. From afar, I have watched with sadness at the loss of California cities like Redding and Santa Rosa and felt absolutely hopeless to act. In the face of such horror, loss, and hopeless, can we truly find home within the confines of four walls and a roof?
In truth, home is not a mere building or even a place. Any building where we log our address is truly transparent in its ability to last, somehow someday that place will cease to be in some fashion. However, if we find a constant sense of security within yourself, we will be able truly to be at home with yourself wherever and whoever you are. This is a constant journey of healing and growth, albeit sometimes scary but other times heart-warming, as the greatest lesson in the journey is that we all are continuously coming home....to ourselves.
Coming home within.
“If I ever go looking for my heart's desire again, I won't look any further than my own back yard. Because if it isn't there, I never really lost it to begin with.”---Dorothy Gale
Thoughts on what you just read? What is your idea of home? Comment below and I will respond. The Thriving Artist is a subset of Cafe-Girl Productions, Inc, a film and media company with the sole purpose of helping to heal and help others find their pathway to thriving. Support us at: www.patreon.com/cafegirlproductions
Somewhere over the rainbow, way up high
There's a land that I heard of once in a lullaby
Somewhere over the rainbow, Skies are blue,
And the dreams that you dare to dream, really do come true
There's a land that I heard of once in a lullaby
Somewhere over the rainbow, Skies are blue,
And the dreams that you dare to dream, really do come true
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