I have found that it is increasingly true that our thoughts control our reality. What I mean by that is that our thoughts form our emotions and perceptions. This, then, shapes how we orient in the world. This allows our actions and reactions based on circumstances to determine the path we take to attain or not our goals. It is true then that if we examine our thinking and work to effect the inward change, our perception of life will benefit, our focus and outlook will shift our overall journey and the degree of satisfaction we find therein.
I witness a lot of my friends, on social media and other ways, complaining about their lots in life, whether on a personal or global level. The need to blame others is universally accepted and seems to be the norm. But while it feels like we find connection through our mutual victim mentality, we actually become increasingly alienated. Although we all fall into the pattern of blaming and claiming victim-hood, no one really wants to listen to another's victim story on repeat. Perhaps this is because we each do not want to spend the time self-examining ourselves in order to impact change, thus seeing another's inner repetitive struggle only puts the mirror up to our own weaknesses. That may be part of it, but that's a theme for another time.
Today I want to focus on the reality that blaming others puts us in the endless cycle of victim-hood. This victim mentality becomes as a drug that deepens our weakness and our ability to change for the better. However, like any drug, we can overcome.
However, overcoming and relieving ourselves from the dependency on this drug takes a lot of inner work to change the dependency and habit. I know, because I am personally on that path and have been doing so hardcore since the start of 2020, and somewhat before. For this reason, the quarantine is a beneficial time for me to slow down with the minimal distractions that allow me to stagnate and truly examine myself, the warts and all, rather the sides of myself I don't like, and allow myself to truly heal and recover.
It takes work, a lot of work, daily, even minutely, to change the tape recorder in my head. The one of complaining, blaming, the voices in my head that plays on repeat trains of thought that lead me in the downward spiral towards depression and despondency.
I have spent a good deal of time this year, especially within the last forty days or so of COVID-19, digging deep into a wide assortment of spiritual and self-help style books, podcasts, as well as journaling and phone calls with my new therapist. What I am learning is that it takes active work in order to re-wire the thought processes that can be train wrecks of the mind and soul.
But, thus I persevere. Or as Elizabeth Warren, so do I: Nevertheless, she persisted. Because it does take a lot of work and a lot of energy...no wonder I am so drained and exhausted by the end of the day and why even in this time of social distancing and slowing down, I still feel as if I have a lot to do...its not the physical labor of working for a living or living to work, but rather the mental re-programming necessary for truly beginning to thrive inwardly, then outwardly.
The steps thus far I have taken may seem slight but I have noticed vast improvement in my overall demeanor, mood, and outlook. From the active choice of eliminating the toxic element, such as stepping back from intense interaction from abusive relationships or over-indulgence in certain life-style behaviors, has helped with the overall improvement of re-framing my thinking. As well as the variety of self-help, spiritual texts and the like, I have been able to see that the world and all the inhabitants therein are not truly out to get me. This is true, for all of us, if even in the dark times it may feel true, it really isn't.
By making the choices I have made thus far, my perspective on circumstances, events, and relationships, both positive and negative, have shifted closer to the positive. What if those that seem to knock me down was really a decision on a soul level, basically the cause is not to destroy but to uplift and overcome our weaknesses, our pain? Have you ever noticed how you seem to come across the same types of struggles, even if it appears in the face of different individuals or circumstances? I have, for myself. There is a reason for that, I have found, in that if I choose to blame or suffer in the victim mentality, the struggle will continue and repeat itself in a different variety until....until I surrender, learn from the issue, change my perception, and release.
I'm not trying to be holier than thou, but I am truly showing tried and true methods that I have used and am using to change my thinking and thus my world. My focus on my career, my personal relationships, and myself is shifting continuously towards the positive. And, yes, I still struggle, I still fall down into the wallowing pits of despair, but I can see now that it is becoming far easier and easier to shift the perspective even in those darker moments.
In short, my life is far better and is increasingly getting even more so because of this daily self work. Life is a choice, whether to blame and maintain the victim-hood or to shift into a positive higher vibration. The choice is yours, my friend, and I help you do so wisely.
Whatever you choose, know that the connection I hold with you, is a gift to myself that has and is shaping my inner growth and healing. Thank you.
The struggles I'm facing
The chances I'm taking
Sometimes might knock me down but
No I'm not breaking
The chances I'm taking
Sometimes might knock me down but
No I'm not breaking
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The Thriving Artist is a subset of Cafe-Girl Productions,Inc a film and media company with the focus of bringing positive social change. To support us, head over to: www.patreon.com/cafegirlproductions
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