I recently started watching the TV show, Lost Girl, on Netflix, liking it because I found a connection to myself and the heroine in the story.
The story follows Bo, the Lost Girl, who has lived her life, unsure and ashamed of who she is, even while not knowing the truth of her identity. In the first episode Bo is introduced to a world she never knew of, that there are others like her with similar powers, hers being that of a 'Succubus'. She feeds on people through sexual activity. She's urged to "pick sides" between those that are a force for good or those for evil. Bo, finally discovering herself, chooses neither. The rest of the storyline is Bo's continual discovery of herself, this new world, and re-claiming her life and fulfilling her destiny.
Why is this significant for me? Because, in so many ways, I feel that I have finally discovered and accepted my inner child, thus finding myself and having peace with my past. Throughout much of my life, I felt like that 'lost girl', running from my true self that I didn't quite understand or was afraid to know. I always felt different and was ashamed of who I was, in every situation and life circumstance. Because of this, I allowed myself to be the victim, letting people abuse me, walk over me, never standing up for myself and my needs, afraid to talk back.
But, not anymore. Since making major life changes in my life (ie kicking my abusive ex out of my life), I have re-claimed my life and my destiny for myself. I have, at last, peace with every past relationship, struggle, or memory of my life, bad or good.
"If I ever go looking for my heart's desire again, I won't look any farther than my own backyard because if it isn't there, I never really lost it to begin with."
My "backyard" refers to my true self, my inner child who has been found and is living proudly. So as Bo says in the opening credits of "Lost Girl",
"I will learn to live the life I choose."
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