Dreams They Transform

You hear a lot of talk these days about, listening to your dreams, manifesting your dreams, following your dreams, or finding out the significance of our dreams, so much in fact that a lot of people see it as a bunch of hoo-haw new age religion crap.

But, I'm here to tell you that it has weight and really does make a difference.  Because, I've had dreams of significant import that have either pointed me in the direction I need to go, answered the questions needed for the next step in my life-focus, and brought an enormous amount of healing to my long-standing anxieties.

The first dream was that I was visiting my two old room-mates, Vanessa and Chloe at our old apartment.  For some reason, I was carrying my kitty, Leo, with me.  (See: the kitty that is afraid of anyone else but myself and my boyfriend and who never leaves the house so that right there is an oddity.)  The town-house apartment we lived in had only two bedrooms, but in the dream there were three, one large and two small surrounding the bathroom.  It was in this phantom third bedroom where the stage was set.

Chloe, according to Vanessa, had had a creep of a gentleman caller over awhile back and they had managed to scare him off.  But then he came back!  Vanessa opened the door but before she did she handed us both two "rogue credit union" pens.  (For those of you who don't know, they are differently neon colored pens given out as souvenirs from a local bank.)

Here is an example:

Holding my cat, I watched as these two friends of mine tied this guy, evil though he was, to a chair and preceded to use the pens as weapons to stab him repeatedly in the neck, the jugular more like.  They urged me to help and I did once but when I saw the blood trickle down, I stopped because I didn't want to be convicted of murder.  All the while, this fella kept screaming obscenities at all of us.  Was he deserving of this treatment? I escaped from the house, sheltering Leo, ran back to my house and anxiously reported to my boyfriend that two of my bestest friends had gone completely berserk.

What does this mean? You ask.  Stay tuned!

The next night I had a nightmare, of sorts.  In the dream, a female friend of both mine and my boyfriend's was trying to seduce him away from me while I sat perched on his lap.  It was disturbing me so greatly that I told him so.  This prompted a fight between us which brought about our breakup that was somehow all my fault.  I woke up sobbing into my pillow which prompted my lovely boyfriend barely awake himself to take me in his arms until I quieted down.

 In the bathroom later, I breathed deep and reflected upon this, this dream-like state reflecting my long-existing anxieties and insecurities and it dawned on me: I am not alone in these fears.  Unfortunately, it is a common reality among women and girls to be anxious over loss of love and to be competitive with their sisters, as it were.  This is where the catty girl-fights spring from, I believe.  I released these fears upon realizing this and crawled into bed and drifted into another dream.

I was on a film set, starring in a movie directed by my good friend, Dan McCloy, who had just discovered he had a good friend at the BBC who knew Matt Smith and had called in a favor to get him to star in one of his movies.  (I take it Mr. Smith did not have a choice in this matter.)  Well, this is how I chose to settle this little matter in the dream when it suddenly dawned on me that Mr. McCloy, a no-budget yet brilliant film-maker, writer, and director, had no real means to cast Matt Smith in one of his films, maybe, this is a prophecy for him, of sorts.  Who can tell?

Two of my oldest friends in life, MLE and Corinne (or Bikini Girl as some know her, or Rinnie as I do) were present as extras or some such.  For some reason, a bunch of us were standing in a circle passing around a bowl full of liquid chocolate.  My dear friend, Corinne, arranged it so that same bowl would somehow be randomly dumped all over my head, not as a prank but as she and MLE explained in shrill whispers, "so that the boys would have to lick it off of you and when it got to Matt, you could make your move!"

Thanks, girls!  And, yes, eventually Matt and I did get erotic, a fantasy that has basically over-taken all of my waking moments since (I basically can't think straight).

Love Me Like You Do

So, what is the meaning of all this?  Well, I'm glad you asked.

It's healing from my past which caused a break-up and a latent mistrust of girl-friends everywhere.  I no longer have to fear that every female person I meet is an instant "frenemy."  In both these dreams, both sets of girls were doing something to help me overcome these fears in either protecting me from an abusive man, albeit violently, or as in the latter dream, helping me to achieve my dreams, symbolized by my bedding Matt Smith.  (Yes Please!)

Now, I can finally say I have forgiven the past friends of the female variety who have caused this rift and insecurity and embrace the new powerful force of the feminine relationships I do have.

To celebrate this, I leave you with this song:

Wannabe