For you emailers, I will only send this out to you once a week, however, I will be posting everyday. That way, you will be able to read only once for that day or can go back and read for the subsequent days and have five days to catch up before the next Wednesday.
I hope and pray that I do not dally away from the truth of scripture and that the power of the word can speak through you and that the healing of the Lord can come to you, as it comes to me. For my own purposes of writing, I have dedicated this book to four woman, whose first names I will only write here, so whoever reads this, can't hunt them down! But, know that whoever finds comfort in these words, may they reach into your heart, soul, and mind and remove the filth of the pain and make you into the whole and complete person and servant God has called you to be.
In grace, I leave you...Below is the introductory letter to the book, with the dedication. (Oh yeah, I promise, that the devotionals themselves will be short, maybe one or two paragraphs, maybe three, and that there will always be questions to answer after each one. Answer them in the blanks to follow, or in a personal email to me, or in your journal, or in your mind. But, please consider deeply what is written and let it richly dwell in your heart.
God speed, dear reader, and may healing and joy come into your heart.
This book is lovely and faithfully dedicated to my dear friends, Monica, Corynne, Marlene, and Angela
To All Those Who are on the Journey to recovery,
I was once where you were. I felt the pain that you are feeling. The unbridled emotion and fear that envelopes you into the power of darkness. The lack of light made me feel as I would never see God again or at least that He wasn't present. But he was and he is with you. I hope your journey through these devotionals helps you see that he is an ever-present help in times of need. He has not left you; He is holding you right now.
As you begin this journey, I first want to share with you a little about where I was and who I am now. I had an intense anger problem, Bipolar, Anorexia, and symptoms of Borderline Personality Disorder. I overcame these difficulties through prayer, devotional studies in the Bible, Christian and Secular recovery books, and the support of friends and loved ones. In this book, I will use some of the advice I learned from all of these sources.
I can proudly say that I don't suffer from any symptoms of BPD, have recovered completely from Anorexia, and my Bipolar is in remission. I know that you can recover through your illness or addiction as well.
Some of the advice given to me by dear friends are recorded here.
My best friend, Koiwu, told me once not to “compare my life with another but to live my life as best that I can do and enjoy it for myself”. In practical terms, your life is your own; don't be worried about how you measure up to them. God has put you in the place where you are, at this particular time, for a reason. Accept your current position as temporary and do something about to change it. Follow your dreams! If you want to change, you and God can do that together. The key is not to look at a person with envy for what they have and what they are, but to accept yourself for where you are at, examine yourself for where you want to be, and start making changes to get there. In recovery terms, this means doing the hard work of healing to get over yourself and move on. Its hard work but it is very rewarding and pays off in the end.
My good friend, Scott Stanford, always reminded me to “Feel my feelings”. For Christians who believe that feelings are of the devil, this may be a challenge. First, they have to refute that lie that feelings are evil and come to terms with themselves that feelings are indicators of an inner problem. If you don't want feelings to control you, then feel them. Because if you don't feel them, they will overwhelm you, control you, and you will suffer with them the rest of your life. But, if you experience them to the fullest, work through them without judging them, and release them, you will be free.
So, your emotions are indicators of an inner struggle that needs to be released by feeling them and then releasing them. If you are not convinced by this, just look at the people in the bible who suffered freely and were replaced, Elijah (1 Kings 19), Job, Jeremiah(Lamentations), Paul, and even Jesus wept freely. With these as our examples, we can see that there is freedom in expressing and feeling our emotions.
My best friend, MJ Taylor, reminds me always that “God's will is best and that we are not in control.” When you try to control your life to the last detail, you will be disappointed because ultimately you are not in control. Your plans will fail and not go through if you are not committing them to God's hand. God has a plan and a purpose and it is for your benefit and your blessing. Trust him and let go of your life! He has your best interests at heart and everything will work out for good.
Lastly, I hope that this book will show you that suffering is necessary to bring about true healing. When you are suffering, you can talk to God openly about what you are going through. You can even argue and yell at God. He will listen. He will remain by your side. Consider Job's suffering. He did not complain in his suffering, he knew he had not sinned. Listen to what he says in Job 23:4-7:
“I would present my case before Him,
And fill my mouth with arguments.
I would know the words which He
would answer me,
And understand what He would say to me.
Would He contend with me in His great
power?
No! But He would take note of me.
There the upright could reason with Him,
And I would be delivered forever from my
Judge.”
What Job is doing is asking to speak with God about his sufferings. You can do this too. In this devotional book, there are journal entries below the section. There are questions that relate to the section. I encourage you to answer the question in any way that is honest to you. If there is not enough room, buy a journal and pour out your heart in that. Honesty and expression of emotion is the step in the right direction for recovery.
And always remember, dear one, God is fighting for you.
In Love,
Julia
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