Wicked Judges We All Are; Show no partiality

In my quiet time today, I prepared for my Monday Night bible study of James.  I read James 2: 1-13, which talks about showing no partiality.  Now, I just got home from a very busy reunion for my Grandpa's 100th birthday, and got home late because of a mixup with the plane, so I am very tired and hope to God that He speaks through me, because my brain is in such a fog that I don't think I can accurately express what the Lord is speaking to me, and what I hope to impart to you.

It starts out:

"Show no partiality as you hold the faith in our Lord Jesus Christ, the Lord of glory.  For if a man wearing a gold ring and fine clothing comes into your assembly, and a poor man in shabby clothing also comes in, and if you pay attention to the one who wears the fine clothing and say, "You sit here in a good place" while you say to the poor man, "You stand over there" or "Sit down at my feet", have you not made distinctions among yourselves and become judges with evil thoughts?" 2:1-4

Now, specifically that idea of being a judge with evil thoughts when Jesus told us specifically not to judge lest we be judged hits me right in the heart.  But, I want to talk about how I have been shown partiality in the church and how I have learned not to, and am still learning.

I hate to slander it again but I was shown partiality my first year at Refuge Christian Fellowship.  I didn't talk the same as them, dress the same, was poorer.  Because I didn't have money, I didn't have a fancy phone, or fancy clothes, or go out to coffee, or anything.  I also felt excluded because I couldn't talk about my bipolar without fear of discrimination (yes, this is true in Calvary Chapels), like being told not to be on medication or go to therapy (they say this without any understanding of recovery or mental illness), or being told that it is demon possession.  I also was going through an amazing experience at Celebrate Recovery, digging into the heart of my own pain and discovering God's truth about his endless love for me.  I wanted them to go through with that, because I saw the pain in their own eyes, what they hid behind the facade of good frozen yogurt restaurants, dress shops, and coffee.

But, I have learned through this bible study that I was being judgmental towards them, for maybe being more spiritual than I am, holding positions above me when I felt that I knew more than them, being married before me, or having kids before me.  So, in my resentment, I lashed out and wrote a few of them angry letters trying to get them to see, and to Corynne and Grace, I deeply apologize to you, I hope that, yes, it did open your eyes to truths about yourself but without any bitterness towards me or without much harm done, and in your own time and your own way, I hope you can find the healing that you need.  As my dear friend, MJ says, "we all have our journeys of recovery".  Please forgive me, Grace, Corynne, and all at Refuge for being so convicted with my own sin that I treated you with such disgrace....but please know that I do believe you are a little superficial in your practices and ways you operate in the church.  That is just my honest opinion and I offer it with humility and grace.

Because of this partiality, I left this church and attended Hope Chapel Healdsburg where we had two homeless people come in and join us on Sunday mornings.  Everyone treated them as equals and they felt comfortable telling their story and talking about their needs.  They were also able to grow spiritually and deepen their faith in the Lord, plus be a blessing of the Lord's faithfulness and provision in hard times to us.

But, I was thinking as it says in James why would we as believers or unbeliever or what have you, show more partiality to a rich person than a poor person.  For as I was thinking, I would do this...for example, if a movie star or famous person, say David Tennant, was in my house, along with my best friend, Stanford, I definitely would defer my attention to David Tennant rather than the one that has been through hell with me and cared deeply for me for the past ten years or so.  So, I am guilty of this sin as well.  Maybe, envy of DT's position would spur on this poor treatment of my dear friend, Stanford. Would you be?

Also, we might, if we look at how the powers that be are treating us, as some are saying we are quickly sliding into a police state, we might be tempted to treat those in power and wealth with deprecation out of fear of persecution, or maybe doubt of the Lord's protection.

But, whatever the reason, as you can see, I am guilty of showing partiality and like the title says, am a wicked judge in the Lord's eyes.  The answer to this, is to pray for a heart like Christ, to love all people, rich, poor, gay, straight, Christian, unChristian, buddhist, etc as children of God and with the same love that God and Christ offers them.  After all, dear believers, aren't we all supposed to be little Christ's?