The Madness of The March Hare!!!!

In my prior life, I was a Butcher's wife in the slums of London in 1855.  After my husband passed, I was left with the business and our 6 little children.  With not a lot of money after the funeral expenses were paid off, I took to hunting down the local stray animals, and sometimes those pets of local families, and slaughtering them to sell.  The rich buyers of my goods always liked the best meats and finest delicacies of that fashion.  I made up names for these deceased pets or rather said they were of different animal origins...but I was being watched.  By a witch, who seeing my evil misdeeds and lying ways, punished me by magically whisking me away to this strange place I would come to know as Wonderland.

Upon arriving, my form changed from human into a sort of animal form, that of a Hare.  It was early March at the time, which prompted being called the "March Hare" by a local hatter, mad as he was, who happened to find me first, when I was wandering in the woods confused on my first day of arrival.  He took me under his guidance, or control, taught me the ways of Wonderland, shared his glue, and helped me along the path to madness.  Finally, all hope lost of ever returning to my former life and sense forgetting there ever was one, I set up house and home, building an abode whose resemblance looked uncannily liked my new physical form.  So, beautiful it was, both inside and out, that I, in my madness, decided it was too perfect to live in so set up my existence in the outside, with a lovely tea table laid out for myself and company, mainly the Mad Hatter.

One day on his walk to my house, he found a little Dormouse, stranded, soaking wet, and afraid.  He brought her to me and I took her in, sort of as a motherly role, although without any degree of affection but more out of duty or a remembrance of past child-raising.

Then, one fateful day while at a concert held in the Red Queen's honour, my madness in full swing, the Hatter made a grave error in angering Father Time while performing a song.  In punishment for this crime, he and I (for I was deemed accomplice) were whisked immediately and without any ability to protest to my tea-table for an eternal 6:00 tea time, never to move forward or even backward.

However, in my duranged mind, the sameness of life seems somehow comforting and I find peace, in some ways, with the routine, my mind doing its best to blank out the negative side-effects of my current life situation.  All seems to be going well with my life neatly arranged, always the same and what I can control until one day, one not so good day, when a little girl shows up...

Find out what happens and see more of my crazy adventures and those of my friends starting next Thursday, 11/20 at the Bellview Grange's Theatre Convivio's production of "Alice in Wonderland".

Alice In Wonderland Event Invite

Lewis Caroll's "Alice In Wonderland" is adapted by Evalyn Hansen.  It is directed by Richard Heller and stars McKenzie Baratta as Alice.  The show runs from November 20th through December 6th at Theatre Convivio in Ashland, Oregon.

Meet Alan Cummings!

Oi!  Its me, Alan, I'm just a regular chap from London, that is until I found myself here in Wonderland.

How did I get here, you ask? Well...that's a rather interesting tale, indeed.  See, I was visiting my Grand Aunt Stella's estate and while hunting with my Grand Uncle and my Pa, one of the beagles ran off, Missy, to be exact.  Always loved that girl the best.  Well, she ran off and I chased her down...down is right, right down this magical rabbit hole, turned out to be quite an adventure after that.

Times being what they were and needed to earn my keep until I could afford a ticket back to London, I took the position as head gardner to the queen, however, I did not know when taking the position all that would entail...such as being flattened and turned into a card, truly, the #2 of Spades, mind you!

Oi!  And, to make matters worse, I'm put in charge of these two schmucks known hereafter as #5 and #7, you can't even imagine the trouble they've caused me!

See more of my crazy adventures and those of my friends starting next Thursday, 11/20 at the Bellview Grange's Theatre Convivio's production of "Alice in Wonderland".

Alice In Wonderland Event Invite

Lewis Caroll's "Alice In Wonderland" is adapted by Evalyn Hansen.  It is directed by Richard Heller and stars McKenzie Baratta as Alice.  The show runs from November 20th through December 6th at Theatre Convivio in Ashland, Oregon.

Meet The Fish!

Hello there, Allow me to introduce myself; my name WAS Sir Edward Lightfoot, from the mystical land of Archelia, where I was the main Lord of the land, for a time, that is, until---

Anyway, the community was a small fishing village, where I made my wealth with the taxing of the townsfolk (perhaps a little too much, I do admit now, regretfully).  With this money, I had myself knighted, even though I never fought any battles.  I lived this life in a sense of pride and entitlement until one fateful day---

On that day, a mysterious, old, traveling woman came through town selling her wares of magic.  I wanting to have that magic for myself, but she, knowing I meant this for evil gain, spirited me away to Wonderland as punishment for my evil deeds.  Upon coming into that land, I was made personal footman to the Red Queen, something that would have caused great pride, if I hadn't been turned into a sort of half-man, half-fish creature as further punishment.

The frog-footman, a distant relative of mine from somewhere, is my counterpart in service to the Duchess.  I do not like him, as this stems from my past life with him in the land of Archelia, however I do not remember this life whatsoever.  I only know that I hate him still but thankfully feel myself superior to him because of who I serve in comparison with his mistress.

See more of my crazy adventures and those of my friends starting next Thursday, 11/20 at the Bellview Grange's Theatre Convivio's production of "Alice in Wonderland".

Alice In Wonderland Event Invite

Lewis Caroll's "Alice In Wonderland" is adapted by Evalyn Hansen.  It is directed by Richard Heller and stars McKenzie Baratta as Alice.  The show runs from November 20th through December 6th at Theatre Convivio in Ashland, Oregon.

Lorelei the Lory!

My name is Lorelei the Lory.  I am a little girl of about 9, although some may say I resemble a bird.

One day when my mother was on her way to town, she forbid me to leave the house whilst she was gone and not to go out to play with my friends.  After she had left, I grew quickly bored with my surroundings and my toys and thought nothing else but wanting to be outside playing with my friends.  Mischievous as my temperament is, I decided to once again "forget" my mother's orders and go out to the wide world to find my friends.

As karma would always have it, I got caught in some kind of a freak flash flood made by this ginormous little girl (who I had never seen before) with my friends.  When we finally found the shore, we were soaking wet and very cold.

My friend, Dory the Dodo, came up with this very fabulously fun new game called the "Caucus Race", which she promised us would help us dry off.  So, the race began with mass confusion and ended almost as soon as it had started and we were all dry and even better had all won!

All given prizes, strange as they were, were dutifully handed round by the very large little girl.  Once given out, we tasted the treats which I made me choke and almost die, having been saved by my best buddy, Eddy the Eaglet who patted my back.

All seemed well and it appeared as if the flood had been my only punishment until nosy Miss Marcie the Mouse accidentally told my mother all about our adventures that day.

See more of my crazy adventures and those of my friends starting next Thursday, 11/20 at the Bellview Grange's Theatre Convivio's production of "Alice in Wonderland".

Alice In Wonderland Event Invite

Lewis Caroll's "Alice In Wonderland" is adapted by Evalyn Hansen.  It is directed by Richard Heller and stars McKenzie Baratta as Alice.  The show runs from November 20th through December 6th at Theatre Convivio in Ashland, Oregon.

Medea, Medea, I just met a girl named Medea...

...And suddenly that name will never be the same...

My name is Helena, a townswoman with 6 children at home and a husband too ill to work.  Because of this, I am over-worked, worn-out, tired, and hopeless.

My one relief is my visits with Jason, Medea's husband.  Indeed, some of my children might be of his lineage, but keep that between us.

I am constantly in fear of Medea's rage since I am a slave of the bed with her husband and so to perserve my life from her homicidal thoughts I seek to appease at all times.

Come see me and my fellow townswomen this weekend and next in Ashland Contemporary Theatre's 7 Shorts of Christopher Durang.  The show runs March 7th - March 9th at Ashland Community Center and the following weekend, March 14th-March16th at Grizzly Peak Winery, in Ashland.  Show starts at 8 pm, with two intermissions.  Doors open at 7:30.

The show is directed by Evalyn Hansen.  Medea stars Jeannine Grizzard as Medea, David DeMoss as Jason the argonaut, Richard Royce as the Deux Es Machina, and Krystal Brewer, Mabree Owens, and myself as the Chorus.

https://www.facebook.com/events/1381952225412994/?ref_dashboard_filter=calendar

Divert Your "Madness"

I am in my early-forties and I have never ever been in a sexually united relationship, hence the feeling of hysteria, and the now nickname, "Hysteria".  My real name is Helen Burns and I live in Upper East Side New York.

My next door neighbor is Cindy Lewis, a woman attempting a life of stand-up comedy.  She, like me, feels downcast and depressed.  The apartment building is full of the down and out, rejects of society.  About our apartment building, it has often been said, "These apartments speak for themselves."

What I really need is, a really good orgasm, something Cindy, at least, has had.  However, I am too ashamed to ask for this need out of an built-in from years of Catholic upbringing sexual prudishness.

Everything in my life, due to this lack, causes fits of madness or, as mentioned before, hysteria.

Come see how my life unfolds starting next Friday, March 7th at 8 pm at the Ashland Community Center.

Diversions is part of Ashland Contemporary Theatre's 7 Shorts by Christopher Durang.  The shows are directed by Evalyn Hansen.  Other performers in Diversions are Krystal Brewer and Richard Royce.