One Final Time

One Final Time

The second week of that first year passed and before she knew it Ruby and her campers were packing for the bus-ride home, wading across the river the other way, and carrying their packs up the hill. The bus heaved its door closed with the campers inside and pulled away from the camp entrance, rumbling down the highway back into the throes of the world beyond.

Ruby and Tera sat side by side, giggling and chatting about the weeks previous and the days, the school year yet to come. They promised not only to keep in touch but to see each other soon. A promise that would definitely become a reality in the winter months. The campers chatted excitedly about their experiences with one another, every once in awhile broke out in a campfire song, and laughed joyously all the while back to their city lives.

The junior counselors traded phone numbers and addresses, promising to keep in touch. When the bus reached its final destination and as the counselors helped the campers find their bags and locate their parents, Les spied Ruby awaiting an opportunity to speak with her. After the last child had departed, he watched her waiting, sitting on the curb of the sidewalk, watching for her parents' arrival. He approached her cautiously.

“Eh, Ruby?”

“Yeah?” She turned and noticing it was him found herself blushing a deep red. She let her hair fall in front of her face.

“I didn't get to give you my phone number,” he finally said. He pulled out a piece of paper, folded up and handed it to her. She took it slowly and held it for a moment in mid-air before bringing it down to her jeans pocket. “Please call me, we should hang out sometime.”

“Yeah,” she managed. “Yeah, that'll be fun.”

“We could keep up the guitar lessons, you know,” Les continued. He was waiting and hoping that she would return the favor and give him her number. She stared at him, willing herself to say something, searching through her mind to find something cool and flirtatious to leave him with, but then the silence was broken by the honk of a horn. Turning, she saw her mom drive up in her Mercedes Benz. Ruby stood up and looked over at Les.

“Um, looks like you are the last person here,” she finally said.

“Yeah,” he said, looking at his feet.

“Um, I'll call you, I will,” she said. Then, she leaned in and gave him a quick hug. Before he could really respond, she pulled back and ran off towards the car, her backpack and sleeping bag dangling on her legs. She climbed into the front seat of her car, tossing her stuff in the backseat. As the car pulled away, Ruby turned and waved at Les and as the car moved down the street, she could not remove her eyes from his.

During the school year, Ruby found herself busy with band practice, student council, and yearbook. For Christmas, her parents' bought her a guitar and she started private lessons, in both guitar and singing. The scars, both emotionally and physically, began to heal. She started seeing her school therapist and the medications her doctor had given her seemed to be working. Her grades improved and life seemed to be getting better.

Still there seemed to be an ache ever present on her heart, a longing as if something was not quite right or as if something was missing. In short, she missed camp for it was the only place she felt like she could truly be herself, with people who accepted her as she was, not knowing her past but only her future. She never had to be anything but herself with these friends, they loved her no matter what. She giggled to herself about all the jokes they'd made during those summers, unaware of the awkward stares she got from her classmates.

Most notably, she could not get her mind off of Les, with whom she missed the most. She'd stare at the folded paper open before her with his number on it, willing herself to reach for her phone and dial the numbers, but always she'd chicken out. Once she did manage to call, but hung up when his mom answered. She wrote long winding love poems about her unrequited love for him and how they were meant to be together. She told as much to Tera on the phone and when they stayed at each others houses.

One Saturday she met Tera in the local county seat. They walked through the bustling city streets, stopping at a upcoming coffee shop called Starbucks and then making their way through the different shops, sipping their drinks. Both with a love of books, they lost themselves for hours in a small neighborhood bookstore.

In the back of the store, was a rack of old poetry books. Somewhat without thinking, Ruby picked up a book with poems by Rod McKuen. The cover intrigued her and the title spoke to her, “Listen to the Warm.” She sat on the floor of the shop and leaned against the wall, setting her coffee by her. She let the pages open before her and casually flipped through them before her eyes fell upon the poem entitled “Song Without Words.” Silently with her lips moving, she read through the poem, twice no three times, reveling in the power of the words. As she read, she could feel a soft beat and melody flowing through her from the book.

“This could be a song,” she said out loud, surprising herself. Tera popped her head around the corner.

“What was that?” she asked, coming over and sitting beside Ruby, almost spilling her coffee. “Sorry.”

“That's okay,” said Ruby. She held up the book to Tera and said, “I have to get this.”

“What is it?” Tera wanted to know.

“I just randomly found this,” she said, matter of factually. “I've never even heard of Rod McKuen but I really love his poems.”

“Well, show me some,” Tera wanted to know.

“Okay,” Ruby said, flipping through the pages. “Here's one...The World I Used to Know....Someday some old familiar rain will come along and know my name. And then my shelter will be gone and I'll have to move along. But till I do I'll stay awhile and track the hidden country of your smile. Someday the man I used to be will come along and call on me. And then because I'm just a man you'll find my feet are made of sand. But till that time I'll tell you lies and chart the hidden boundaries of your eyes. Someday the world I used to know will come along and bid me go. Then I'll be leavin' you behind for love is just a state of mind. But till that day I'll be your man and love away your troubles if I can.”

“Nice,” Tera said, smiling at her. “You should totally get it.”

Ruby flipped to the opening cover and looked at the price, which read $9.00.

“I think I have just that,” she smiled, happily. They got up and moved, coffees in hand, to the front of the store. The shop owner was an older man, with sagging eye lids and pants to match, barely held up by his belt. He slumped over slightly and shuffled his feet while he walked. His hair was a la Albert Einstein and white hairs sprung out of his nostrils. He smiled at them over his half-moon glasses and took the money from Ruby.

“Enjoy that,” said the shopkeeper. “A definite classic, or should be. I've loved McKuen for years, hope you do too.”

“Thanks,” Ruby said. “We'll be back.”

Tera grabbed Ruby's hand and they hurried off into the street, laughing and chatting happily.

Song Without Words