Its that holiday again, the first of the season that enters us officially into the holiday season and to winter. Mixed feelings fill the Facebook walls about this day, those remembering the historical origins of today's event and those giving their dutiful thankful posts.
It all seems a bit mandatory, an act of compulsion that one has to list "What am I thankful", the answers range from the uber-religious to the new age spiritual to the secular. And, I have to admit I find my heart dwelling a bit on my attitude of gratitude for this season, making a mental note to find that appreciation daily throughout the year.
So, just what am I thankful for, you ask? The answer may surprise you, as it did me.
As I was helping to prepare the Thanksgiving meal with my "family" (or rather those I'm dining with today and yes, I'm thankful for each of them), what struck me is the emotion that has been turning itself over and over again in my heart was that of confusion. I realized then I could embrace it, I could, in a sense, be thankful for that confusion. To go one further, I could be thankful for life's disappointments, times of despair and heartbreak, and moments of indecision when one desperately tries to figure out their next step, just wishing there was some way to foresee the future.
How can I be thankful for that?
Well, for starters, I think we all need to come to a place of complete peace with where we are at, gratitude for the present moment, in whatever mental, emotional, even physical state in which we find ourselves.
Secondly, for me personally, this state of emotional confusion tells me something vastly important about the capacity for my heart. It can forgive; it can remember the love I once gave has always permanently found its home within me, no matter what transpired in that relationship or how time has passed. It is that focus, the idea that love never dies when once I give it in my heart, where I find my ultimate gratitude. Moreover, that I have a heart capable of loving many, simultaneously and in many different ways.
So, as I face the decisions of my future and my heart, I can find gratitude in where I am and in knowing that no matter what I have and will always have the one thing this world needs, every human being on this earth deserves; love.
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