Meet Laura Sullivan

For the first twelve years of my life, I was raised, on and off, by my mother, Penny.  She was an alcoholic, I can admit now, although then I tried desperately to cover for her, to make her drinking not such a big deal, at least for me not so much for her.  I wanted to hold onto some kernel of belief that my childhood was happy, healthy, normal, in some way, albeit only fantasy.  For so many reasons, I was older than my age for at twelve years I had already seen and been exposed to so much.

Eventually, it became too hard to pretend.  We bounced from place to place, sometimes staying for a few days and sometimes longer.  She had many different boyfriends during those times, sometimes even girlfriends, but the most permanent fixture in our lives (if you can call anything in my childhood "permanent") was life with Leon, the worst of all.  I never felt particularly safe with him, for myself or mostly for my mother's sake.  For years, I watched, in terror, while he hit and physically abused her, yet always she went back to him.  She took most of the blows from him, on both of our behalf, so, I guess, that's one way she showed her motherly affection and duty.  Although with no lock on the bathroom door, I never truly felt secure while taking a shower, because Leon could come in whenever he wanted.  My mother tried to assure me he wasn't interested in my childish body, yet I was never convinced.

The one bright spot in those years of my life was the few weeks I spent with Captain Royal.  I hoped, during that time, that he would become my dad and a good match for my mom.  However, our paths seem destined to not be chosen for us.  My mom bounced back and forth between Leon's place and Royal's house, finally getting herself arrested on association with Leon's drug dealing habits.  It was then that she gave up custody and all rights to her parentage.  Thus, I became a ward of the state and was taken away from Royal, who was restricted from seeing me based on false allegations due to my shaky testimony during the trial.

I went to live in foster care with a family in the country, on a big farm with lots of children, chickens, and other livestock.  I grew to love and appreciate them, but at first felt isolated, alone, and trapped.  I never forgot Royal or the times I spent in his presence.  Those times were my first glimpse at the reality of hope and love.

I often wondered, as I grew up, why my mother was as she was, did what she did, and just couldn't stop drinking--but years later when we finally reunited, she explained to me why, how she drank to hide from the pain, to fill the aching void in her heart, the need for love.  In turn, this helped me understand my own addiction of co-dependency and need for love.

I have since married a wonderful man, Jorge, and together we have a beautiful daughter.  We have just opened a seafood restaurant together, our long-term dream.

Before her death, I found peace at last with my mother and even some form of mother-daughter relationship.  I have also reunited with Captain Royal, the only real father figure with whom I ever truly connected.

Come hear more of my store this Monday, October 27 at 6:30 pm at the Ashland Public Library in the Gresham Room.

https://www.facebook.com/events/960142974002564/?ref_dashboard_filter=upcoming