Thank you, Silvia! #baristababe #patron #patreon #supportcafegirl

11/3 Gratitude

 Thank You by Led Zepelin

1.) Oregon, specifically Ashland, it's safe, still friendly, believes in people, beautifully serene

2.) My Beverly Hills, 90120 blanket.  It reflects to me a job well done, a constant reminder that I can accomplish and reach my intentions and will do so again.  I still have more battles to overcome, but still its a confidence booster.  It also reflects another way that I am increasingly showing self-confidence and belief in my worthiness for love in every aspect, regardless if love and respect is given by others or not.

3.) My physical health is stable, which is something to say in the view of Covid19 and other exreme physical ailments and health afflicts I know others are struggling with at present.

4.) Luke Perry and basically all my spirit guides, souls who had significance throughout my life and the messages received from each of them on Sunday's "Dia De Los Muertes" ceremony.

5.) Tansy's sweet, soft, luxurious fur, even between baths.  Her unique smell that is so earthy and wonderful to breathe in, her little nose that is always dirty, her piercing intense eyes that are so full of personality, emotion, mischief.  She is very original and intelligent.

6.) Cuddling Tansy on my chest, in my bathrobe and warm blanket, sparkling lights of the city far below, in the crisp dark night enfolding, a warm healthy cup of tea.

7.) Resting after two busy and successful days, with sleepy Tansy.

8.) Knowing the difference between success and fame, true victory is never external, but begins within. 

9.) The stability of assured love, it makes all the difference in the often emotional upheaval in the journey of life.

10.) The people I met today (yesterday) and the opportunities for financial gain and prosperity they will bring, as well as other ways of abundance.

11.) How my perspective has shifted in believing I can, I am worthy of success, prosperity, wealth, abundance, just by shifting the words I speak and what I tell myself about myself and my situation.

Got gratitude? Share below.  I will reply.

The Thriving Artist is a subset of Cafe-Girl Productions, Inc.  Support us at: www.patreon.com/cafegirlproductions  We would love to help you find your thrive!

Gratitude 11/1

 Thank You

1.) I am grateful that love has returned to my life, has arrived at last in all its purity of purpose, in full blossom and in a variety of abundance.

2.) My home, its beautiful serenity and sense of grounding I have felt absent from my heart and soul and physicality until now.

3.) My friends, the right ones, that have remained and are not fair weather, self-seeking, wolves in lamb's clothing---that are in every essence of the word, true family

4.) The frenemies and enemies, for the lesson they taught, strength they allowed me to develop, to let go of that which destroys or weighs me down, to choose true love, not that of conditions

5.) My health, my body and how good it feels to take care of it

6.) My life-long quest of the spiritual and gratitude for the myriad of ways I have sought along the journey.

7.) For Don & Pamela Dehart, with the precarious reality of rental costs and agreements, I feel grateful that I rent a beautiful, secure, stable property from such honorable, ethnical people

8.) Tansy, for she is the love of my life

9.) Bipolar, my PTSD, for the creativity it provides, inspires, the depth of emotion which affords me the ability to understand and truly empathize with others

10.) My ability to persevere and accomplish, to create and reach my goals, with integrity and intentionality

11.) For Will: past, present, for always. 

Always do it on my own
So I gotta get through it
And the only thing I know
Is to love what I'm doing
Never give up, never slow
'Til I finally prove it
Never listen to the no's
I just wanna keep moving
Yeah, I put out all this art
It's my only medicine, yeah

Grateful

So, what are you grateful for? List below!

The Thriving Artist is a subset of Cafe-Girl Productions, Inc, a film and media company with the sole purpose of helping artists discover their thrive.  Support us at: www.patreon.com/cafegirlproductions

So, like, thanks!

 Thanksgiving is my favorite of all the holidays.

Now, don't get your panties in a bunch, you hear me? I am not talking about the historical aspect of the day.  I, too, was spoon-fed the heroic story of the pilgrims settling in the land who were rescued by the helpful natives and the union of the two that 'first thanksgiving'.  I, too, dressed up like a pilgrim and made paper head-dresses in my early childhood school years.  Later, I also learned the truth of what happened moving forward in our country's sordid past, the trail of tears, and all of that.

But, I am not talking about the historical thanksgiving as I have stated above, but the spiritual or metaphorical one.  Yes, I love this holiday because most everyone across the country takes a pause to gather with family (or our chosen family) and reflect upon the gifts given to them.  Some may take this from a religious manner and others from a mere place of humanistic gratitude.  Whatever the root, the act of meditating on thankfulness is the true reason for the season and the motivation for my love of the holiday.

That said, I'd like to take some time to reflect on what I have to be grateful for over this past year, before the hubbub busyness of shopping, cooking, and out of town guests takes over my world.

First, on the gratitude list, the basics.  I am grateful for my sexy red Sonic.  When I was looking for a new car after the PT Cruiser was thankfully taken from me, I kept visualizing myself driving in a red car.  Through my searching, I was led to TC Chevy and there it was.  It wasn't my first choice, but it was the right selection.  The salesman at TC Chevy, not working on commission, walked me through the purchasing process to best fit my needs and I am grateful for him and for the fact that every month the payments are made and the outstanding debt towards that is slowly, gradually reduced to what is not seemingly insurmountable.  

And, for the first time in years of many, I have full coverage health insurance.  That in itself is worthy of much jubilation.  

I am thankful for my new little, ramshackle, home.  The wind blows wildly on our hill, but the view and the acreage, the fact of still in Ashland, just 5 minutes by car outside of town, in the country is a dream I never thought could ever be and yet here I am.  

My kitties, Tansy and Leo, who provide hours of enjoyment and affection through their sweetness, sense of humor, and cuteness.  And, of course, my boyfriend, Michael, who is truly my biggest supporter and best friend, who understands me truly like no other.  Together with our two hilarious kitty cats, we make up a strange and adorable little family.  I am truly proud of him in all he does and honored to live and work alongside of him these last 5ish years.

Moving onwards into the second phase of my gratitude list:

I am thankful that now I can work independently, carving out my own schedule and using the resources of financial, relational, spiritual, and others, to make my life be my life and pursue my dreams without looking back.  In a very real sense, I am grateful for those crazy years of my early diagnosis, the darkness of the despair, that led me to the choice of disability so that I am the position of working for myself and in that allowing my health to be a driving force in pursuing my art, ambitions, and dreams.

In that, I am thankful that by working for myself and using my resources wisely, money is no longer an enemy working against me but a tool under my say and control.  In that, not only are the bills paid in full, mostly, but I see a gradual reduction in debt and an overall sense of peace in my financial circumstances.  It is truly a momentary struggle that through diligence and thoughtful perseverance I will overcome and in that there is joy.

It may seem strange to be thankful for a mental health condition and I do not want it to seem like I am boasting that I do not have to work the normal job.  I believe I paid my dues in life, first by having the struggles that come from having bipolar disorder, and then by placing myself in multiple different abusive relationships, from romantic to spiritual, sometimes simultaneously, and back again.  Through going into the depths of my emotion, both highs and lows, I have been provided with the gift of deep soul searching and self analysis, coming up with a depth of understanding of myself and human nature, as well as compassion.  

And, thus we enter the final phase of my gratitude list, at least for now:

I am thankful that in moving towards working for myself, carving out my own schedule, I have had the freedom and the time to focus on myself, who I am spiritually, mentally, emotionally, physically, as well as career-wise.  I've spent time reading through book after book, whether it be the myriad forms of spirituality, career focused books either on how to improve my craft as an actress, how to be the best producer and/or business-woman ever, and, of course, the random 'fun book', a novel and yes, a non-fiction book about the Ketogenic lifestyle.  (So, sue me, that's fun for me!)  All of these books read a little each morning has given me a sense of renewed focus and calm throughout each day.  Through the course of these studies, I have begun to choose my own path when it comes to spirituality, realizing that I do not need to identify or conform to any form of organized religion and that I truly can draw from each to find the quiet within.  Focusing in on the aspects of my career has given me a renewed drive to continue forward in my goals and ambitions, to see the fruits of my labor come true one way or another.  Lastly, the studies into the Ketogenic lifestyle diet have not only brought health to my physical but has provided such a reduction of my anxiety, mood instability, and reactivity that I never thought possible.  (It is primarily that reason alone that I am such a devout activist for the Keto Way!)

And, of course, I am always thankful for each of my loved ones, the ones far away and those close by.  Those who have come into my life recently and those who have recently left, whether through life changes or death. (That includes you, Papa Harry!)  Each of you have colored my life with such intensity and beauty that enhances every aspect of my life.  You help me to enjoy life to the fullest, help me to take myself less seriously, help me to see alternate angles of my otherwise narrow viewpoint, and then help fuel my creativity.  Because of your positive influence and love in my life, I have grown stronger, am increasingly becoming more and more free from the effects of the abuse, have been able to choose love and allow it in as well as continuously noticing, then eliminating toxic elements from my life.  

So, like, thanks

Cafe Girl: A Story of Coffee, Sex, Cigarettes, & True Love

Thank You By Dido

Act Two, Scene Three


Lights show the end of the day, early evening as the rise on cafe. Matthew is busy closing up shop, putting chairs up on tables, vacuuming (miming with real vacuum but silent, the audience will get the idea, one beat and Deborah enters, knocking on the door. Matthew doesn't hear for a moment, so she knocks louder, yelling his name over the din. Then finally she enters, crosses to him, touches him on the shoulder. He turns, startled.

Deborah:

Hi.

Matthew:

Good to see you!

Deborah:

(entering, looking around)

Closing for the day?

Matthew:

Doesn't it look like it?

Deborah:

Need any help?

Matthew:

No. But thank you. I just need to put this away.

(gestures towards vacuum)

And, then how about a walk?

Deborah:

It looks like snow?

Matthew:

First snows are the best times for walks.

(He smiles, she returns the smile)

Let me just--

(He moves to vacuum, placed where ever the director wants him, makes a show of rolling up cord, and dragging vacuum cleaner up stage to kitchen, exits, Deborah looks around, then Matthew re-enters).

All ready?

Deborah:

Yeah. Its so cozy here.

Matthew:

Yeah, I like it too. Its just a shame that--

Deborah:

What?

Matthew:

Business is slow, is all.

(She nods understandingly)

Ready? I know a great place.

Deborah:

Okay.

(They exit through door, Matthew locks it, lights fade on coffee shop as they slowly cross left across stage.)

Just beginning to snow. Its so beautiful.

(Does a ballet-type spin, stops, embarrassed.)

Sorry.

Matthew:

Why?

Deborah:

I just...

Matthew:

It was beautiful.

(She pulls coat closer to her, sticks hands in pockets, no gloves, pulls up hood.)

Hands cold?

(takes gloves out of his pocket.)

Hear, have mine.

Deborah:

But you need them....

(he pushes them towards her)....

Matthew:

Please, I insist. I'm used to it anyway.

Deborah:

Wait, I have a better idea.

(She hands him one, they put gloves on free hands and hold the bare hands, begin walk.)

Matthew:

Wow. Good plan.

Deborah:

You were telling me, on the phone, about your last girl-friend?

Matthew:

Yeah. Not much more to say. She cheated on me, with the whole town, you know. Girls and guys. So, its just messed up. I had the engagement ring ready and everything.

(He takes a few steps in front of her then turns)

You?

Deborah:

Me?

Matthew:

Your ex?

Deborah:

Oh, he was a real slob, drank too much, smoked too much, never completed anything. Lived with me without paying rent or anything...a big mooch. Lame.

Matthew:

Yeah. Looks like we've both been through the ringer!

(They walk a little.)

Deborah:

Yeah.

(They walk in silence. She pulls out hand, turns away.)

Kind of makes you wonder why you do it.

Matthew:

(He takes her hand in his, looks at her.)

It'll be all right. This time.

Deborah:

How do you know?

Matthew:

( He studies her, shakes his head.)

Because, you're all right, yourself, Debi.

Deborah:

Eh, don't call me that. I like Deborah, or even, Deb.

Matthew:

Well, then you're all right, yourself, Deborah.

(thinks)

What about Rah?

Deborah:

What about what?

Matthew:

DeboRAH!

Deborah:

(laughs)

What should I call you then, Hew? Or?

Matthew:

Just Matt. My mom calls me Matthew when she's mad at me.

(mimics mom)

Matthew William Downey!

(They both laugh.)

Deborah:

Sounds familiar!

(mimics mom)

Deborah Ruth Seller!

(silence.)

Where are we going?

Matthew:

You'll see. But, first a little detour, okay?

Deborah:

Do I have a choice?

(laughs)

Matthew:

Sure, you always have a choice, Deborah.

(Matthew crosses downstage center, where stands statue of a donkey.)

Few years ago, my friends and I randomly discovered this. Don't know who made it or even why its here? But, anyways, we started "feeding" it.

Deborah:

What?

Matthew:

It likes this, five nickels. Only five nickels.

Deborah:

Why "five nickels"?

Matthew:

See, they fit perfectly in his mouth. Look.

(He inserts nickels and gestures to them.)

Deborah:

Yeah, I see. So, five nickels?

Matthew:

Yep, five nickels!

Deborah:

Not quarters, pennies, dimes?

Matthew:

No, five nickels, only five nickels. Mr. Donkey here knows what he likes.

(They both laugh, grab hands, continue walking.)

Matthew:

So, you mentioned you finished school? Congratulations!

Deborah:

Thank you.

Matthew:

So, what's next?

Deborah:

Not sure yet. I mean, maybe more school to get a real degree. Seems like nowadays a bachelors doesn't mean much. A professor told me a bachelors is like a high school diploma these days...so what did I just do with four, no, five years of my life? I don't know. I don't want to live my life doing the 9-5, you know, going to work, coming home, paying the bills, feeding the kids, the house, the car. It all seems so pointless. There must be something more, you know?

Matthew:

Yeah, I know what you mean.

Deborah:

What do you want to do?

Matthew:

I don't know yet.

Deborah:

Work in the coffee shop?

Matthew:

Probably not.

(after a moment)

My parents want me to go into the family business, but I don't know. Thought about being a pilot once.

Deborah:

Really?

Matthew:

Yeah, took some lessons just had to finish the final before I got my initial license.

Deborah:

Can you fly?

Matthew:

Sort of. I'll take you up sometime, anywhere you want to go.

Deborah:

Anywhere? I've always wanted to go to Mexico.

Matthew:

Then, we'll go.

Deborah:

Right on! But seriously, you should just do what you love. That's what everyone says, do what you love.

Matthew:

Yeah, what do you love?

(She looks at him, smiles.)

Deborah:

Dancing, yeah. I love it. Unfortunately, according to my parents, you can't make money at that. But, I don't know, I just...when I dance, I feel free. Guess that's why I love it.

(Silence.)

So, where are we going?

Matthew:

Almost there, just a little climb.

(They walk hand in hand down stage left, there can be a small boulder big enough for them to stand on together to show overlook.)

Matthew:

This is what I wanted to show you.

Deborah:

(staring, transfixed.)

Its so beautiful.

Matthew:

Right?

(They stare together in silence, song plays softly.)

Deborah:

Thank you, for bringing me here.

(She turns to him and he to her. They look into each others eyes for a moment, then slowly, awkwardly lean in, and kiss.)

I think this is the start of a very special relationship.

(They kiss again, lights fade.)

Deborah:

(in blackout)

Once upon a time we all walked on the golden road. It was a fair highway, through the Land of Lost Delight; shadow and sunshine were blessedly mingled, and every turn and dip revealed a fresh charm and a new loveliness to eager hearts and unspoiled eyes.

Act Two, Scene Three

The bar scene, down stage right, Deborah and Matthew enter hand in hand, crossing up to table and chairs where James, Shaggy, Ray, Thomas sit with drinks. They are enthralled in a game of Go. As the two approach, they look up and all yell: Matthew.)

Matthew:

Hey, guys. This is Deborah. Deborah, this is

(gesturing to each)

Shaggy, Ray, Thomas, and James.

(All nod, Deborah looks at James. One beat.)

Deborah:

Hi.

James:

Hello.

(Matthew sits in chair down stage left, next to Shaggy. He takes Deborah onto his lap. Jame sits directly across from them, Thomas and Ray are next to each other, facing audience.)

Matthew:

(to Deborah)

So, Thomas, you know. And, he and this girl, Maggie, they used to be together, but not now. And, Thomas just converted to mormonism, so that's even weirder because we think he and Ray...He tried to get Maggie to convert, then Ray before...I mean, so yeah, just weird all around.  You know? And, that's Shaggy.

Deborah:

Shaggy? Strange name.

Shaggy:

(overhearing)

That's not my real name.

Matthew:

After the Scooby Doo character, looks like him.

Deborah:

What's your real name?

Shaggy:

Not Shaggy.

Deborah:

Mysterious. So, what are you guys playing?

James:

Go.

Deborah:

What? I just got here--

Matthew:

No, its the name of the game, Go.

Deborah:

  How do you play?

Shaggy:

Not really hard.  Kind of like checkers, try to get your pieces to the other side of the board, capturing your opponents.  Wanna play next game?

Deborah:

Okay.

Thomas:

Seen you at the coffee shop, sometimes, Deborah.

Matthew:

Thomas works there too, sometimes.

Deborah:

I see. So, what's with the name, 'End of The Universe' Cafe? I like it but where'd that come from?

Ray:

42!

Matthew:

Sounds esoteric, right? But, ever heard of the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy series?

Deborah:

Just reading it, right now.

Matthew:

Yeah well, you'll see, based on that.

Shaggy:

You know, there is documented evidence that says Adams reasoning for Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy and further books were proof of the Illumati's power and influence in earth's impending destruction.

Ray:

Yeah, like 42?

Matthew:

(whispering to Deborah)

He's kind of crazy, that one.

(to the group)

Hey, Deborah, what does Ray remind you of?

Deborah:

(looking at him, they all stop and watch her amusedly)

I...don't...know.

(Ray has on a snowcap, pointed upwards, red nose, long face)

Matthew:

Give you a hint, lawn gnome?

Deborah:

Oh my god, yeah.

(They all laugh.)

Ray:

King of the lawn gnomes, they call me!

James:

That true, Shaggy? About Hitchhiker's?

Shaggy:

Oh yeah, man. There is tons of documented evidence on the internet about the Illumati's hunger for power and how they infiltrate all sorts of different media, art, what have you to influence and exercise their control. I'll show you sometime.

(finishing drink and getting up)

Matthew, you guys want something?

Matthew:

(bringing out wallet and handing some money)

Two guinesses? That all right?

Deborah:

Yeah sure, thanks.

Thomas:

I'll come too.

(Thomas and Shaggy exit upstage right, Deborah and Matthew kiss.)

Matthew:

(takes off fedora and places it on her head.)

Here. Looks good, why does everyone look better in my hat than I do?

(They kiss, James studies them.)

James:

Are you guys being cute?

Deborah:

(looks at James, unafraid)

Do you think we are being cute?

(James blushes, and nods, their eyes meet, Deborah looks at Matthew, then back at James, one beat.)

So, who are you, James?

James:

I am me.

Deborah:

What do you do?

James:

This and that.

Deborah:

Oh, I see, another mystery man.

James:

Computer programmer, sometimes. You?

Deborah:

Trying to figure that out, I guess. Just finished college, joining the ranks of the real world. Guess this is it?

(gestures all around, Thomas and Shaggy return with drinks.)

Thomas:

Real world? You could try...church?

Matthew:

Church?

(smirks)

Deborah:

Eh, no thanks, Thomas, I'm okay.

Thomas:

Well, if you change your mind--

Ray:

Cut it out, Ray.

Thomas:

Well,I...Don't worry, I'm not one of those Christians, I think, anyways.  Sorry, Deborah, I didn't mean--

Deborah:

Its okay, really.  We're all just trying to figure things out, the meaning of life--

Ray:

42.  The answer to life, the universe, and everything.

Deborah:

Something like that, yeah.

James:

I used to go to church, when I was a kid.

Deborah:

Yeah? What happened?

James:

Hypocricy, that's what happened. So, if Thomas can't convert you, then maybe, we will?

Deborah:

Excuse me?

(looks at James, then Matthew)

Maybe. Just maybe.

(thinks, looks at drink)

You know, never actually had guiness.

Shaggy:

Where have you been?

James:

Well, then I guess your indoctrination starts with this?

Deborah:

Huh, what? It's not like I'm a stranger to alcohol..

Matthew:

Not guiness. Come on, drink.

All chant:

Drink, drink, drink.

(Deborah takes a drink)

One of us, one of us, one of us.

Thomas:

(after a moment)

Crap, Maggie's here.

Ray:

Shit!

(drains drink.)

We got to get out of here!

(Thomas and Ray get up.)

Shaggy:

I'm with you.  I don't want to deal with her.

(He drains drink, James gets up too.)

James:

You comin with, Matt?

(Matt looks from James to Deborah.)

Matthew:

Um, no.  I think it'll be fine.  I'll catch up with you guys later.  Where you going to be?

Shaggy:

I don't know, the usual.  Out haunting! See ya.

(Thomas, Ray, James, and Shaggy exit.)

Deborah:

So, what's wrong with Maggie?

Matthew: Eh, she's...all right.  Just awkward because she and Thomas...you know, like I said.


(Maggie enters and crosses to Matthew and Deborah.)

Maggie:

You seen Thomas around?

Deborah:

Um?

Matthew:

You know, he left awhile ago.

Maggie:

Know where he went?

Matthew:

Couldn't tell you that!

Maggie:

Oh, okay.

(She collapses into chair.)

Matthew:

Think we need another drink?

Deborah:

Sure.

Matthew:

You want anything, Maggie?

(Maggie shakes her head no. Matthew gets up and exits.)

Maggie:

So, you guys are?

Deborah:

Yeah, I guess we are.  We just met, really.

Maggie:

Oh, I see.

Deborah:

You okay?

Maggie:

Not really, actually.

Deborah:

Sorry.

Maggie:

Not your fault. Just confused is all.  But, that's life, I guess.

Deborah:

You love him?

Maggie:

Not sure, really.  What is love, after all? Two people coming together...my mother always tells me, "Maggie, sometimes you fall in love at first sight, sometimes it takes awhile."

Deborah:

Smart lady.

Maggie:

So, what do you do?

Deborah:

Teach, sort of.  Well, day care.

Maggie:

But, what do you really want to do?

Deborah:

Um, dance, I guess.  You?

Maggie:

I love dancing. We should go out sometime.

Deborah:

Maybe I could teach you a few things!

(Lights fade. The boys are seen drunkenly by the donkey,mime laughter, mirth while "feeding donkey", when they finish, lights fade and in darkness we hear Deborah.)

Deborah:

On that road we heard the song of morning stars; we drank in fragrances aerial and sweet as a May mist; we were rich in gossamer fancies and iris hopes; our hearts sought and found the boon of dreams; the years waited beyond and they were very fair; life was a rose-lipped comrade with purple flowers dripping from her fingers.