What Being A Fundie Taught Me

Often in this blog, I have discussed the journey I took deconstructing from being a fundamentalist Christian and have detailed the negative effects upon me while I was one and for years afterwards.  However, it occurs to me, that I have never stopped to openly reflect on the ways that that time of my life in that worldview positively influenced me.  Moreover, this has been a common thread floating through my brain waves in the past few months.  So, today I would like to take some time to reflect and share these positive attributes I learned and acquired by being a "Fundie".

1.) Every religion that is organized or not so organized, such as a spiritual walk of any sort, has similar ways of defining their path, similar structures to follow and guidelines to achieve spiritual peace.  However, this doesn't make me want to reject all belief in any sense of divinity but rather affirms the truthfulness in this quest that all humanity finds themselve seeking and thus I continue forward, in my own way now, although different from what it was as a fundamentalist Christian but still influenced by it.

2.) During my time as a "fundie", I actually read the Bible, indepth and cover to cover over and over again.  For a book nerd such as myself, that is pretty cool indeed.

3.) The Bible is A spiritual text, among many, and thus has had and continues to have intrinsic value for myself, regardless of how it has been weaponized.  It is not its fault, it's just a book after all.  Furthermore, the Bible having value for me personally does not mean it will have such for others, nor will I try to enforce others to accept it in this fashion.

4.) The importance of a morning quiet time, or rather a time to be still and attend to one's self each day, whatever time and whether it be reading a spiritual text, a self help book, a topic I find of interest, yoga, long walks, or meditation.  This time I take each day looks different from what it was then and is overall more open than it was but the same principle from my fundaze times remains.

5.) Understanding of the true meaning of Jesus' teaching, as well as other spiritual teachers, and find value in that alone while rejecting the ways their followers have intrepreted and practiced in ways toxic and harmful.

6.) The truth that spirituality of any variety is a powerful and dynamic tool for one's recovery.

7.) Eternal gratitude for the positive memories with and the lessons learned amongst those of my former fundie friends.   The love abides even though the relationships have shifted, which has given me the understanding in the truth that there are seasons of every relationships.  My frustration with fundamentalism was intensely personal from those who were never of that particular worldview.  It was born out of a deep pain and heartbreak of loss and stimulated by overwhelming desire to save those from being saved.  However, this has changed because of the words of a very dear sister friend who assured me with thus, "Their path is theirs alone, not yours to determine."  

8.) An unique understanding of why fundies behave they way they do towards outsiders which provides me the ability to see how they think their actions are informed by what they believe to be is love, however, false they do not realize.  Yet, I see the goodness deep within and extend grace, forgiveness, and act as a compassionate bridge amongst the divisiveness.  

9.) I understand the reasons behind why people find themselves in a cult world, like form of drug-like escape that provides some comfort and security, and the pain when realizing the harm this has caused, and the hard, hard journey of deconstruction. 

Breakaway

Trying hard to reach out
But when I tried to speak out
Felt like no one could hear me
Wanted to belong here
But something felt so wrong here
So I prayed (I would pray)
I could breakaway
I'll spread my wings and I'll learn how to fly
I'll do what it takes 'til I touch the sky
And I'll make a wish, take a chance, make a change
And breakaway
Out of the darkness and into the sun
But I won't forget all the ones that I love
I'll take a risk, take a chance, make a change
And breakaway

 Check out these amazing two ladie's Youtube channels.  Jen, an atheist, has only recently rocketed to Youtube fame, but it coudn't have happen to a more sweeter, non-judgmental, empathic human.  Become a "Jenonite" at: Fundie Fridays

With grace and humility, Elly of Ex-Fundie Diaries shares her journey from the traumatic religious upbringing and shows how true healing is possible.