What I'm Worth: $

Yesterday, I had an amazing revelation.  I've always had this rocky relationship surrounding money that is all wound up in my worth.  Inside of  me toils the need for money, the outward desire for abundance and, yes, opulence, while within me, stirs the belief that I am no-good with money and even more so undeserving of any kind of financial stability or wealth.  I hold this belief from society's influence on the whole "starving artist" viewpoint that artists are bound to suffer and only be hailed as genius after their death, from the church's dominating mindset that we should serve without asking for anything in return all while they passed the collection plate around, and indeed even from my childhood upbringing views on money.

So, yesterday...

I am at work, looking through my scant finances, trying to make twenty dollars stretch itself to the limit, anguishing over the concern over gas, bills, rising debt, and other expenses, sending angry thoughts out to all those who have held me down, detailing and agreeing with the years I was told how unworthy and bad I am with money over and over...when it finally hit me, it's up to me to define and set my worth around money.  That possibly the biggest reason I struggle and have such a deficit, a lack, is I do not accept my financial worth and abilities surrounding money. 

For that reason, I made the clear decision to stop that line of thinking and start whole-heartedly believing that I am full of worth, ability, can and will thrive in that arena in my life.

From my studies of various spiritual and psychological texts, also from my own varied experiences, I have come to the conclusion that our psyche is whole and at peace only when each area of our life is satisfied and balanced.  To be brief, we can only have peace when each area of our life is in balance.  If one area is insufficiently out of whack, we struggle in other areas.  This is when misery and depression rise up to drag us down.  This is essentially why such practises like talk and group therapy to help get us out of our heads and focus on the core issue which, in turn, helps us to re-center ourselves, heal, find wholeness, then balance. 

That, my friends, is the essential goal in all of our life's pursuits, or should be.  No matter our focus, desire, careers, our one main goal should be striving to heal and better ourselves, centering ourselves more and more until not only do we find peace and balance within, but no matter our circumstances or surroundings, we find home.