As I have mentioned previous, I am a human with not one, but two mental health conditions. My specific diagnoses are Bipolar Disorder Type 1 and Complex-Post Traumatic Syndrome Disorder. In addition, I have Celiac Disease, known since 2011, and have now been given the diagnosis of Irritable Bowel Syndrome. I was first given the diagnosis of Bipolar in 2007, after years of struggling with a variety of mental health and physical health related issues, yet not cared for or acknowledged. The years spent as undiagnosed were one of tumultuous, lonely pain. In truth, in high school, I had been given the labels "Attention Deficit Disorder" and "Depression" of which I was told to 'take my medicines' and all will be good, nothing more was done or talked about in the regard of my mental health...until it could no longer be ignored.
Julia Michaels - ANXIETY (Lyrics) ft. Selena Gomez
In the first shaky years of my diagnoses, I struggled with accepting myself as a human with a major mental health condition, figuring out my identity as a human as well as manage to figure out the career and life path of others that many do in their late twenties. Because of my inability to cope and function, I felt a failure, both professionally and personally, adding to the already debilitating depression, anxiety, and trauma. With the support and unending love of some dear, dear friends as well as my own inner guidance and strength, I slowly began peeling away the layers of traumatic pain and making my way through life. Through many stops and starts, falling down, climbing back up, then a disastrous abusive husband, reclaiming myself after leaving an abusive church, bad friend break-ups, I discovered my strength and daily celebrate the victory that is my life.
What I have learned along the way is that mental health is intrinsically tied to physical, as well as other aspects of human-ness. I live my life as a fierce advocate for raising awareness, support, and the erasure of stigma of mental health related issues and those that struggle with such.
Although there have been many advances in awareness and acceptance of mental health (Thank you, Pete Davidson), I still notice certain tactics in society surrounding health that I find troubling.
First, as its been more acceptable to be open about your mental health and need for self care, I feel that many use such as a 'get out of jail free card', put it more specifically, 'get out of work/life free card', because they are struggling with mental health related issues, such as anxiety or depression. Yet, beyond the need to step back from a project, sometimes last minute leaving others scrambling and with no apology ever given, these persons hardly ever if at all seek professional mental health treatment or guidance to help overcome their anxiety and depression issues, appearing such as a 'crutch' or even a 'weapon'. As such, I feel this tactic detracts the forward movement of erasing stigma and acceptance, painting those with mental health issues in a negative light once again.
Another tactic, however, is to disregard any option that a mental health condition is apparent in one's health concerns. Recently, I received a correspondence from a friend explaining their recent health struggles, then after explaining how their doctor could not understand the physical cause, went on to express how this physical dis-ease was the causation for any mental health related symptoms. My thought and reaction therein was, why could there not be both physical and mental health condition coinciding?
As one who has a major mental illness, dual diagnoses, I can attest that both the ramifications from my physical intestinal health issues as well as other physical stresses, such as lack of sleep or food, has and still does cause an effect on my mental health. Also, my mental health issues have, in the past, affected my physical health, specifically around the areas of eating healthily or at all. (I have recovered from Anorexia Nervosa in the past.)
With all that, I ask, what is so scarily wrong and hard to admit in 2023 that one might have a mental health condition, not just that of anxiety or depression, but one that may be considered a "major mental illness"?
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