Johnny Depp/Amber Heard, Part Two: My Thoughts CW: mental illness, borderline personality disorder, histrionic personality disorder

 

Beauty queen of only eighteen, she had some trouble with herself
He was always there to help her, she always belonged to someone else

For starters, I am "Team Johnny" but I am not anti Team Amber Heard, as if the issues of domestic abuse, destructive relationships, and mental illness should be relegated to that of 'teams'.  As a victim of domestic violence as well as a friend of male victims, I felt strongly for support of Johnny Depp, still do, and am very grateful that the truth has won out at last.  (Please see the Part One of this series: https://artistthriving.blogspot.com/2022/06/johnny-deppamber-heard-part-one-my.html). To my discredit, in full honesty, I was one that jumped on the bandwagon of "Amber Heard is a narcissist", even while understanding somewhat the vast differences between calling someone a 'narcissist' and the diagnosis of 'narcissist personality disorder'.  I did not know that those who I was allying myself in this regard and able to attend the trials were booing and hissing at Ms. Heard as she entered and exited the courtroom.  As a victim of intimate personal violence, I have learned that the best way to have victory over an abuser is to move forward into a successful, thriving life and not to attack in kind.  (See: Success is the best revenge!)  This includes not engaging in like abusive fashion towards the abuser, for that is allowing that person to become as a victim and feel a sense of victory.  

Then, the legal team of Johnny Depp (please notice the clarification difference in teams) brought forth a psychiatrist who had examined Amber Heard and found the dual diagnoses of Borderline Personality Disorder and Histrionic Personality Disorder.  Thus, my thoughts on Amber's abusive actions and reasoning behind shifted a bit.  I have made clearly known that I am a person living with Bipolar Disorder and CPTSD.  In the early years of my recovery, I hungrily read through several books on mental illness of many a variety and studied books on psychology.  I even picked up and read through the recent edition of the DSM (See: Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders).  At one point in my journey, I was misdiagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder in conjunction with Bipolar Disorder which started my journey on devouring all things personality disorders.  It is important to note here the similarities and overlap between these two diagnoses as well as others in the DSM.  All too frequently, those diagnosed with one disorder also have a comorbidity with another.  (I also want to add that it was later reported that I did not have BPD, but in fact have CPTSD and Bipolar which often can resemble BPD and will share this discovery in a later entry.)

Comorbidity refers to having more than one chronic illness at once. Of all the people who experience mental disorders in the U.S. (roughly one in five), 45% of them meet the criteria for two or more disorders. That's almost one in ten people who may be dealing with simultaneous mental illnesses

Thus, from my studies, I want to express the differences between that of someone struggling with borderline personality disorder, histrionic personality disorder (or both simultanously), and that of the other cluster B diagnoses.  First, I must state that I am not a certified psychiatrist, psychologist, therapist or mental health practitioner, only one with a hunger to understand as an empathic advocate as another with a mental health condition.  Thus, the essential difference between that of APD/NPD and BPD/HPD, from my research, is that of level of conscience, the former being a lack thereof (especially with Antisocial Personality Disorder (APD) and the latter having an understanding of right and wrong.

 

The fact of conscience as well as the symptoms of both Borderline Personality Disorder and Histrionic Personality Disorder changes the reasoning behind Amber Heard's actions in her relationship with Johnny Depp as well as that reported in other relationships.  If these diagnoses be correct (and often times in one's recovery there can be many a misdiagnosis), then Amber Heard does feel a semblance of guilt and remorse over her actions.  From my research in the past and during the writing of this, a person with BPD has a maladaptive way of thinking that they believe to be correct based on the emotional upheaval and trauma throughout their lives.

Borderline personality disorder is a mental health disorder that impacts the way you think and feel about yourself and others, causing problems functioning in everyday life. It includes self-image issues, difficulty managing emotions and behavior, and a pattern of unstable relationships.

It is true that I have spent less time with Histrionic Personality Disorder but I have done some bit of research for this article as well as in the past.  From those studies, I have found that the need to be the center of attention with one who struggles with HPD is based on a need for validation and escape from a feeling of emptiness.

A histrionic personality disorder, or commonly known as a dramatic personality disorder, is a psychiatric disorder distinguished by a pattern of exaggerated emotionality and attention-seeking behaviors. A histrionic personality disorder is categorized within the "Cluster B" of personality disorders.

Thus, Amber Heard's instability in her interpersonal relationships, if these diagnoses be accurate, is based on past trauma undealt with that has formed her frame of thinking increasing her need to find security, validation, and escape from the inner turmoil and pain within.  This does not mean she is not guilty of defamation and needs to be held accountable for her actions.  In the contrary, I believe she does and that this may be the reckoning that brings about a realization of her need for healing.  From this, then, it is another important reason why lashing out at her in kind is not helpful for the situation without or within.  In addition, I feel strong consideration and care should be taken for the safety of her daughter until which time that Amber Heard takes her treatment and recovery seriously.  I do not believe that the child should be taken from her entirely, but rather believe wholeheartedly in the ability for a person with BPD and HPD to live a healthy and fulfilling life.  It takes time and a lot of work to unravel the thought processes and the trauma damages that brought about the reactions of her actions, but through the efforts of recovery one can live a meaningful life.  And, if these diagnoses of Amber are correct, she, too can have this life, it may not be what she hoped for as a Hollywood actress, but her life can be joyful and peaceful if she commits to her recovery and mental health journey.

Look for the girl with the broken smile
Ask her if she wants to stay a while
And she will be loved
And she will be loved
And she will be loved
And she will be loved

She Will Be Loved

If you or someone you love is suffering with symptoms of mental illness, please contact: www.nami.org