Place

 

"It's the 'Place' of Oregon that means the most.  We must, first and foremost, cherish the 'Place'. All other good things will follow if we recognize the special beauty of Oregon first in our planning, if we revere the magic, if we protect the quality."--Tom McCall, 1970

Throughout my life, certain places have been a highlight of particular seasons of my life.  In recent times, within the last ten years or so, I have experienced fore-shadowing, of such, of the significance of certain places whose experience I have yet to behold. 

One such place is a little winery in Ruch, Oregon called LongSword Winery.  

The Story Of My Life

You're the story of my life

And every word is true

Each chapter sings your name

Each page begins with you

It's the story of our times

And never letting go

And if I die today

I wanted you to know

When I had only recently returned to life in Oregon in 2011, as a fresh bride and newly-wed with high hopes of wedded bliss and the happily ever after,  my husband would drive me out to the Applegate region of Southern Oregon to visit some ne-er-do-well type friends of his of whom we'd spend the night in secretive revelry.  Our journeys would take us past this winery and I would, for reasons unbeknownst to myself at the time, make a mental note of its place.

As time unfolded through my not so wedded bliss life, I would find in my husband one such of extremity of toxic abuse stemming from his undiagnosed paranoid schizophrenia that my dreams of living the socially acceptable life of the husband, the 2.5 kids, and white picket fence would all to swiftly be smashed in the ruins of my own daily struggles against his railed abuses.  Even before walking down the aisle towards life with him, I had spent years within the confines of a church not unlike a cult in some ways, as well as with others in my life, whose constant presence in my life did its best to devalue and destroy my inner sense of trust of my own ability and self worth.  Thus, I was prime fodder for my husband's destruction of my soul.

So, back then when I traveled past Longsword and other places which would hitherto become essential to my evolution, as a timid shell of a human looking out at the world with diminishing hope and an increasing lack of self worth, I could never imagine that the slight steps I was then taking, auditioning for a few plays, would lead me forward on a journey towards freedom from the abuse, healing through the divorce into relationships that would uplift, not destroy.  Through these strengthening me, I would increase, not decrease.

The journey would lead me to the year 2018 where I would audition for a play directed by my friend, Madeline DeCourcey, who at the time our connection had been minimal but would thereafter deepen in the ascending years to follow.  And, that audition would lead to the casting that would put me in contact with friend, Jae Unker, whose presence in my life would invite me to join her in the building up of a new theatre (Wanderlust Theatre Company) in the Applegate Valley, located at none other than Longsword Winery.

Once arriving at Longsword Winery, it would take some time before I recalled that frightened child of a woman traveling by making a mental note but once done I marveled at the journey and the realization of the Universe's guidance towards this place.  

In this place, this winery, I would become a lost boy, flying about with this new colorful family through the adventure of Neverland and beyond, beyond into the increasing development of my self worth.  

Throughout the separation of the great quarantine of 2020, their presence would remain albeit removed, not to detract, destroy, but to be an ever present reminder of the true purpose of real friendship, one's chosen family.

In this photo seen above, I sit at the read-thru of the next production of Wanderlust Theatre Company's showcases, Dracula.  I am not attending as an actor, as I have stepped back from that, a reality that seems at once strange yet natural to my growth as human and artist.  No, instead I am present as a documentarian, something my heart has longed to showcase in every play I have been a part of, and as I sit there, cross-legged, masked to protection, camera at the ready, marveling at the building up of chosen family to uplift, empower, and with that, I send the message of promise to my younger frightened self of 2011.  She will be freed and increasingly so, both external and internal, and the places she is led will be the catapult to define her soul's journey and evolution. 

In My Life

There are places I'll remember

All my life though some have changed

Some forever, not for better

Some have gone and some remain

All these places have their moments

With lovers and friends I still can recall

Some are dead and some are living

In my life I've loved them all