Preparing For The Apocalypse: Or How To Fight The (Toxic) Patriarchy, Part Three #give #donate #bebetter

 

When I was a fundie Christian, I was told by the church that in all means possible we were to 'give until it hurts'.  Now, I do not advocate for that anymore, rather, if you see the first entry of this series on 'self-care' (https://artistthriving.blogspot.com/2024/11/preparing-for-apocalypse-or-how-to.html), I believe that caring for oneself should always take precedence over giving, for without fully feeling well within, giving begins to dwell within the realm of codependent martyrdom, followed by resentment. 

Nay, the giving we provide as we voyage bravely into the dark reality approaching must be developed in mindfulness.  With special care and deliberation, we give in ways small and ways large, both on a personal level and that which is for the greater society.  Last spring, my company filmed a short film of which a good friend was an extra.  This last week, I gave her a small 'thank you' gift for her work done.  As she struggles with her fears of the oncoming four years, her face brightening with such a small token received was all that was needed as repayment.  Another friend, in her twenties renting a room with a bunch of house-mates with no garden space available, will be gifted a small in-home garden kit.  Regularly, I compile a bag of items no longer needed by me and take them down to my local cafe that has a 'free-box' bookshelf.  At that same cafe, another friend, Michael, unhoused, dwells and as much as I can I hand over a five dollar bill as well buying him birthday and holiday meals.  As well, I consider sorting out the recycling and carting them down to my local center a gift given to my 'mother earth'.  As I walk through my city, I pick up garbage left behind after the wind blows.  Sharing this not to boast of my own greatness but rather to reflect with the ease of giving.

On a larger social level, in the next month, I plan on sitting with my finances and thinking deeply on what organizations to monthly benefit.  I know now that $10 a month will go towards Planned Parenthood, another $10 a month to the Trevor Project, and am wanting to find other worthy organizations with the focus on environmental and housing concerns, both with the $10 a month limit.  The point of this is to share how, as daunting as the next four years seems, as overwhelming as to what we can do feels, giving in the minute leads to a far-reaching wide influence.

In the supposed words of Jesus above, the small acts of kindness given will be benefited right back upon the giver.  For the simple deed of one person giving to another leads to more, as the receiver feels the uplifting to carry the gift forward.  As the darkness of hate, bigotry, mysogyny, and 'toxic patriarchy ushers in the apocalypse, we must actively decide to take the first step against, that which, as Michelle Obama declared, "when they go low, we go high".  Actively and daily choose to be better than the darkness, not giving into the sin of hate, but rising above unto the realm of love.  For in that place, your peace and healing will be recovered and once acquired that gift you can extend towards others.

Viva La Revolution, dear friend, it begins within.

Like a small boat on the ocean
Sending big waves into motion
Like how a single word
Can make a heart open
I might only have one match
But I can make an explosion

Rachel Platten - Fight Song (Lyrics)

https://www.plannedparenthood.org/

https://www.thetrevorproject.org/

Kanye/Kim: I've Been There. All Sides. Part Four. TW: Child Abuse

An Open Letter To The Children Of Kim Kardashian & Kanye West
(& all children with abusive parents & parents with mental health issues)

First off, I don't know you personally nor do you know me, but I have born witness to some drama between your parents through social media as many have, seen how your mother has fought for her safety as well as yours, and also have my own experience with childhood trauman and abuse that I feel a pressing need to reach out.  This is that way.

By now, you are old enough to have spent many years of your life on this planet and raised by your mother, father, various other relatives, and loved ones.  Most likely, you have born witness to many of your father's bouts with mania, depression, rage, and perhaps other mood variants.  I can imagine his instability leaves you in a place of uncertainty, perhaps fearful, confused.  As a young child, you look up to both your parents and need them to help guide you to become the person you were meant to be.  When a parent is unable to do so based on their own struggles, they are unable to be fully there for you, which, most likely, leaves you feeling lonely, lost, confused.  You see, adults' are humans too,  and just like children, some have yet to heal their own inner demons and childhood traumas before becoming parents.

Most importantly, what you need to know is:

It's Not Your Fault.

When you lie in bed at night, pulling the covers close, and hear your father yelling, when you are playing or watching TV during the day and you hear your father raging, when you read about online your father's rantings on social media:

It's Not Your Fault.

For your own health and to continue to grow into a thriving human, you must first take care of yourself.  Yes, love your father as you do, but you are not responsible for him nor are his savior.  Your mother did the right thing for herself and for each of you when she stepped out of the marriage.  She is not responsible for your father nor can she save him.  Her responsibility is for herself and, most importantly, to ensure that each of you grow up to feel cherished, loved, in an environment that is safe and enables you to truly thrive as who you were meant to be.

Throughout your life, your father will fluctuate throughout his mood swings, he may, at times, resume stability, but throughout it all, please take care of yourselves first.  Love him, encourage him to take care of himself, but love yourself and take care of yourselves first.

And remember always, his behavior and abuse towards your mother and others:

It's Not Your Fault.

This is my fight song

Take back my life song

Prove I'm alright song

My power's turned on

Starting right now I'll be strong

I'll play my fight song

And I don't really care if nobody else believes

'Cause I've still got a lot of fight left in me

Fight Song

 

Stand Up For What You Believe In: Night Court Of Life Lessons Chapter Two

 

Stand Up For What You Believe In: Even If You Stand Alone

Day two of my deep dive into all the lessons ever learned from Night Court and the one for today seems especially of import.  

Being that the show itself took place in a courtroom with thirtysomethings still enthusiastic about the law, doing what's right, and helping people, this was a frequent storyline for many a character, especially that of Harry and the female public defender characters.  See: Ellen Foley as Billie Young in the gif above.  But, some of the other characters had their share of a similar storyline as well, such as Mac marrying Quon-Le so that she could have her citizenship, Bull's attempts at being a father, and, yes, even Dan did the right thing in the end.   The point is, the characters' decision to go into law was heavily fueled by their altruistic desire to stand up for the downtrodden.  As we learned yesterday, this was not always easy to do or were they always successful, leading to a character burn out, ie Harry in the last entry.

Personally, I was especially impacted by these storylines when they followed Harry (well, when wasn't I affected by him) as well as those of the public defender whether it be Billie Young (Ellen Foley) or Christine Sullivan (Markie Post).  Influenced by Harry, of course, because of my great trust and admiration in him, seeing hm as the ultimate father figure, but I am happy to note that my first influence of strong female was introduced to me by Night Court in the likeness of Billie Young and Christine Sullivan.

Both characters' first storyline were marked by their nervous first days' in court coupled with their exuberant desire to do what's right, even if it was against the law and none went with them, even their own clients.  Often this would land them a stint in jail for their disobedience of the law and so they proudly went head held high.  Most of the time, Harry was in support of their stance, although his hands being tied by the requirements of the law, always he was proud of them.  

In fact, all of the characters' held pride in doing what was right even if standing alone, yes, even Dan.  For what other reason was there to follow after this career path, if not to fight for what is right.  So, even if it went against the letter of the law, all had immense pride when one of their own held their ground, even though eventually they had to relinquish.  Because as we learned yesterday from Dan, "we can only do what the law allows", eventually they had to succumb to that reality. 

However, this inner belief remained and kept the fire for justice alive, as they grew they learned how to navigate the fight in a more balanced and productive fashion.

Fight Song

Like a small boat

On the ocean

Sending big waves

Into motion

Like how a single word

Can make a heart open

I might only have one match

But I can make an explosion