In this episode, I finalize my "kitty" journal, share the end result of my relationship with MMM-Bird & Not Sandler, discuss my thoughts on my first year of high school, my excitement over the summer, and close with some memorable quotes on love, plus I share how to be a healthy empath.
(The gofundme for David M. Nienow has ended. If you want to help his mother, please email me at cafegirlproductions@gmail.com)
Jesus Loves Queer Fundraiser for The Trevor Project & Promotion for "I Am Fine" : https://www.bonfire.com/jesus-lt3-queer/
Tuesday, June 6, 2023
Thursday, June 1, 2023
Remembering David #inlovingmemory #intheshapeofyou
I recall, last time you were here Your laughter a melody that lingers still
Nearly a month ago, on May 5th, 2023, I lost one of my best friends, David, surprisingly, unexpectedly, gone. The last several weeks have been a blur of work and helping his mother with the life shift of which she now finds herself. The mourning from his absence has not fully set itself upon me, mostly during this time, I have felt a sense of numb shock of disbelief. I keep finding myself expecting to hear from him over social media, a private message about some creative project he just dreamed up and of which he wishes me to collaborate, a remark or comment on something I have newly posted, a word of encouragement, an inside joke.
Only to then be hit with the truth of it not ever being a reality again. No longer will I see his broad smile as he approaches, his fancy hat atop his head adorned with matching coat, coming to hang out or help with a project, waving me in excitedly at his studio for a photography session, or his boisterous giggle cheering others along at the local public access TV studio he loved so much.
David's heart was large enough to include all he met as chosen family in an instant of knowing, a patient sense of non-judgment for all he met, seeing them as they are and not what he wanted from them. His enjoyment was simple, in being with those he loved, exploring their creativity alongside his, a forever champion for those he held dear. His heart was bruised by betrayal yet it remained soft enough to continue to love, in times of good and times of hardship, he was a loyal soul always ready for whatever was needed.
I have had the privilege and honor of meeting up with many of those he held especially dear, sifting through his wide variety of creative projects he birthed. David's influence upon the world, the mark he left behind, was diverse upon the hearts of many. He will not be forgotten, his presence lingers still within those who loved and love him still.
I have yet to truly cry, but I feel a sense of peace, as if my friend's strong presence and reassurance is still abiding within, encouraging me to persevere, excited for the projects swirling in my mind, an ever present and enthusiastic cheerleader upon my soul.
In high school, I attended a YMCA summer camp called "Ravencliff" in the hills of Humboldt County, where I heard the story of Yellow. Yellow was a princess surrounded and protected by only that of Yellow, shielded by her parents warning her about the foreboding outside world. But, as is necessary, she eventually finds her way into the great beyond, discovering to her horror, at first, that every time she meets, then departs from someone, she is different from whom she was. But, she finally discovers these differences have only made her better, for she carries the lessons learned and memories shared from each person experienced and after all is said and done, she is now "Rainbow", no longer merely Yellow.
David brightened my life with hope and real love, turning me into "Rainbow Lia". The mark he left upon me will burn forever bright with the intention to do likewise for those I know and have yet to meet.
This hole in my heart
and so I'll carry it wherever I go
Like a treasure that travels with me down every road
There's this longing lonesome ending
kind of bitter, kind of sweet
There's a hole in my heart
There's a hole in my heart
There's a hole in my heart in the shape of you
Thursday, May 25, 2023
The Red Poppy #memorialday #decorationday
Ending in 1865, the Civil War was the most deadliest of combat for the United States requiring the need to build federally funded cemeteries for the lives lost. Thus, starting in the spring of the 1860s, families began holding tributes to the multitude of fallen soldiers by praying and decorating their grave-stones with flowers. It isn't clear how this tradition originated. One such account states that a group of formerly enslaved citizens of Charleston, South Carolina commemorated their fallen a mere month after the Confederacy surrendered. However, a year later, the federal government declared Waterloo, New York, the birthplace of Memorial Day with their celebration on May 5th, 1866, when businesses closed so that families could attend to the honoring of their fallen by decorating their gravestones with flags and flowers.
Two years later, May 5th, 1868, the leader of the Northern Civil War veterans, General John A Logan, called for a day in the latter part of May to be a National Day of Remembrance, when flowers are in full bloom. He referred to this day as "Decoration Day" as it did not refer to any specific battle, but was in remembrance of all those lost.
“The 30th of May, 1868, is designated for the purpose of strewing with flowers, or otherwise decorating the graves of comrades who died in defense of their country during the late rebellion, and whose bodies now lie in almost every city, village and hamlet churchyard in the land,” he proclaimed.
General James Garfield made the first speech of Memorial at Arlington Cemetery on that day when 5000 attended and decorated the gravestones of their lost loved one. By 1890, each of the Northern states had made Decoration Day an official holiday. However, the Southern states held separate days of remembrance, which changed after World War 1.
Later, after the end of World War 1, known as the Great War, when 8.5 million soldiers died from wounds of battle and disease, the need for Memorial Day increased. Lieutenant Colonel John McCrae, a brigade surgeon serving with the Allied artillery unit, noticed the presence of wild red poppies springing up in a field in Flanders, Belgium shortly after the second battle of Ypres. In this particular battle, the German army used lethal Chlorine gas for the first time in the war. The massacre and wounded was massive and affected McCrae deeply and personally, including the loss of his dear friend, Lieutenant Alexis Helmer. As McCrae noticed the growing red poppies, he penned the poem, "In Flanders Field":
The poem was published in Punch magazine in late 1915 and proceeded to be shared at countless Memorial Day celebrations. John McCrae lost his life to pneumonia and meningitis in January 2018. In November 2018, a few days before the signing of Armistice Day (No Apostrophe Needed: Veterans Day #veteransday #armisticeday #novembereleventh), former University of Georgia professor and Young Woman's Christian Association (YWCA) war volunteer, Moina Michael read "In Flanders Field" and was moved by the remembrance of the loss of that day. This memory inspired her to pen her own poem, "We Shall Keep Faith" and she began always wearing a red poppy in remembrance of the lives lost. Michael began sewing silk red poppies entwined about a victory torch for commeration for herself and her friends. Likewise, in France, a woman named Anna Guerin also was a champion for the symbolism of the red poppy. Her speech at the veteran's group, American Legion, caused them to take the red poppy as their symbol (minus the torch) and also instilled National Poppy Day in late May.
Articles used as reference:
Wednesday, May 24, 2023
Journaling Through The Years, Ep. 61: Not Sandler!!! #journaling #relive...
In this episode, I share the aftermath of my first heart-break, which may include somewhat fast times, a new crush kind of whose definitely Not Sandler, and some big decisions about my life. If only I had listened to my younger self...still I was getting differing advice from a wide assortment.
Help Dorothy with Funeral & Related Expenses: https://gofund.me/1ed1243f
The Trevor Project fundraiser: https://www.bonfire.com/jesus-lt3-queer/
Help me with market research, what course would you take from me, acting or life modeling instruction: https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/S7C27NY
Wednesday, May 17, 2023
Journaling Through The Years, Episode 60: Prom Date & A Heart-Break #re...
In this episode, I share more about my first boyfriend and first prom on the SF Bay & the lessons I learned from breaking up with him as well how it affected my life and future relationships.
Links mentioned in this vlog:
Merch fundraiser for The Trevor Project: https://www.bonfire.com/jesus-lt3-queer/
The Trevor Project: https://www.thetrevorproject.org/
Gofundme for the family of David Nienow: https://www.gofundme.com/f/yg2c5e-fun...
Market research for my coaching courses: https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/S7C27NY
Saturday, May 6, 2023
Cinco De Mayo: Why? #cincodemayo
Yesterday was the holiday known as Cinco De Mayo. Too besought with the unlikely passing of a dear friend, I had not the energy nor the ability to focus to research and share the true significance of this day. Thus, I will do such today, as I feel it imperative that the true meaning of the holiday be known in all its relevance, symbolism, and history, not for the mere simplistic reasons that those outside of Mexico celebrate.
The thought that Cinco De Mayo represents Mexican Independence is false. Rather, this day signifies the victory of one battle, that of the battle of Puebla on May 5th, 1862 beating back the interfering French army. Due to financial hardship, President Benito Juarez, elected in 1861, was forced to default on Mexican's loans from various European countries. In response, France, Britain, and Spain embarked to Mexico in retaliation. Mexico was able to negotiate with Britain and Spain but not with France at the time ruled by Napoleon III. Napoleon III was bent on overtaking Mexico and claiming it as part of his empire. Believing in a no contest success, Napoleon had his men embark on the small city of Puebla de Los Angeles. Juarez gathered up a small, ragtag army of 2,000 men and made Ignacio Zaragoza the General of the army.
With much planning and preparation, Zaragoza was able to fortify the small city and claim defeat over the French army on May 5th, 1862. That is the true history and reason for the celebration of Cinco De Mayo.
For more information: https://www.history.com/topics/holidays/cinco-de-mayo
Tuesday, May 2, 2023
Beltane: The Original Fire Festival #mayday
On the full Moon in May
As One the Lord and the Lady
Tonights the Eve of Holy Beltane
As One the Lord and the Lady
Following between the Spring Equinox and Summer Solstice, Beltane (pronounced "Bell-Yell, Te Ne") is the festival celebration of the warmer times to come. A time when the union of the Gods and Goddesses, specifically Mother Earth and the Green Man, Cernunnos the Horned God, are at their utmost union. A time to offer the 'bright fire' to the God Belenus, the Bright One, who uses fire as a means of protection and purification for the times to come, representative of the warm energy of the sun.
Thematic symbols of the festival abound, but none more than that of unity and fertility. Freedom of sexuality and sexual depiction are a part of the celebration, not in a way of depravation however. Natural artifacts are placed upon the altars and amidst houses, those which represent the phallic, the vagina, the abundance of life the warmer months will bring, whether that be in the gardens, in the fields with the livestock, or in the personal life and connectivity with others. The popular dance of the May Pole is a visual representation of this connectivity, the pole as the phallic, the hole placed into the ground that of the vagina, the interweaving ribbons by the male and female dances the union of the God and Goddess. The union of sexual connection, thus, is a representative of the spiritual union of God and Goddess so ever presently flourishing in this time.
.jpeg)
This holiday is also a moment when the veil between the seen and unseen worlds is lifted. Relationship and interaction with the fae and fairies is much more apparent than normal. Thus, providing sustenance, shelter, and offerings is a vital ritual service during Beltane.
Also, reconnection with the earth by planting seeds and preparing glowing flower gardens is an involvement that will provide much healing and soul nourishment. Spending time with the Mother Earth in solitary provides the moment of quiet reflection and meditation needed for successful spiritual growth.
Finally, the act of the bonfire is a rejoicing of the warmer days to follow, but also a promise of protection from outside effects as well a purification as preparedness for the journey ever unfolding.
Creative Passions Bursting Forth
As One the Lord and the Lady
Leads us back to the Source
As One the Lord and the Lady
Articles Used As Research:
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)