One Final Time

The Shape Of You

Camp ended and the early days of September descended upon the earth, with it came the beginning of another school year. Also, another new beginning for Ruby, a first of so many. With it, came the entrance of Matt, her first kiss, first date, first boyfriend. Hoping to drown out any thought of Les and even that of his relationship with Jess proved unsuccessful to Ruby. He remained an ever constant thought, a memory inspiring love, in her life. Wherever she went, albeit apart from him and with no connection to Crowshaven, she felt him with her, felt a longing for him that could not be described or equaled with anyone else on this earth that she knew.

Matt's allure to her was his ability to be mysterious and set apart from the rest of the world. And, he smoked cigarettes and was the grand old age of 18 years to her 16. This age difference seemed vast and so grown up to her, she who felt a constant need to escape from her life and her surroundings. Also, these facts of Matt's life choices were a obvious deterrent to her father's liking him, thus made him more desirable.

But, three months into their relationship, Matt ran off with her high school chum, Holly, who claimed it just “happened” and Ruby found herself once again, alone, confiding in a carton of Ben & Jerry's Phish food, tearfully watching chick flicks and Wayne's World on repeat with Tera. Secretly, the urge to harm herself, to end it all, began re-emerging with herself. The only solace became her journal and her song writing which began to put forth songs of emotional despondency and longing.

“Where have you gone? My heart is broken, an unending loneliness resides inside,” she wrote and crooned accordingly.

So, many times her hand reached for her portable phone, willing herself to dial the numbers of Les, and then placing the receiver back on its holder. He'd call if he really wanted to, besides he's probably madly in love with Jess and half way to the altar by now.

The voices in her head of depression grew to a fevered pitch and she ran off into the woods with a bottle of Tylenol and water, ready to leave this mortal coil. And, for some odd reason, that was the time that Les decided to call, for the reason of inviting her to his birthday shindig that following weekend. For some reason, she found herself moodily entering her bedroom, despondent that she couldn't even attempt suicide, just as the phone was ringing.

“Hello?” she croaked into the phone, placing her tear stained face against the cool receiver.

“Hi,” the male voice on the other end of the phone began. “Are you okay?”

“Um,” was all she could say and then, “Who is this?”

“Its Trip, I mean, Les, oh you know.”

“Oh, hi,” she gulped. “How are you?”

“I'm doing well, you?” he asked and she breathed a very long, heavy sigh. She found herself able to open up to him then, the only person who had ever really listened and helped her begin again.

“I don't want to live anymore,” was all she could say.

“Did you do anything?”

“I tried to, I want to,” she admitted. He sighed heavily and then said,

“You need to tell your parents and your parents, okay?”

“Yeah, yeah, all right,” she agreed.

“And then, call me, okay?” He basically demanded. “And you have to live, I'm having a birthday party this weekend and I want to see you there, no excuses.”

“All right,” she said and despite of the situation she laughed a little.

Then, she found herself in her doctor's office, her parents on either side of her, and her very unapproachable psychiatrist telling her that he was going to “raise her anti-depressants” once more to curb off the suicidal ideation. But, within her heart, she already felt a sense of healing, Les was back somewhat in her life as a comrade in arms, a faithful companion in her fight to live, and that in itself gave her a will to continue, to persevere, that in itself felt right. 

I will follow you into the dark

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One Final Time

The next day, Gadget picked them up in the camp bus from their camping site. As they rolled up their sleeping bags and re-packed their backpacks, Jewels noticed Les kept to himself, lost in thought, amidst the laughter and good cheer of the other counselors. Stories we're passed back and forth, inside jokes we're built that years to come would still bring mirth to those involved, and plans for the upcoming rest of the week we're laid out. But, Les worked by himself, pondering his next move. Beside him, albeit silent, Jess packed. Although she did not speak, he could tell from her steely looks that she was not too pleased with him. Perhaps his harmless flirting with the other female counselors hadn't been taken so well by her, or maybe it was the kiss...that kiss so long in coming, it seemed almost forbidden, and now it had happened at last, what was to follow? Les held himself back from looking over at Jewels, but as always could feel her presence inside his heart, something he could not truly understand or had ever experienced.

Gadget greeted them individually as they boarded the bus and pulled away from their site, heading back to Camp Crowshaven. Their day away from work had been a well-appreciated reward but now it was time to return to their duties. The radio played songs they had not heard since leaving their lives back home. Les sat in the back of the bus near the window, Jess sat beside him looking straight ahead. He tried to think of some way to begin some sort of conversation with her, some way to figure out what to do next in this thing called a relationship they had together.

Tera and Jewels sat side by side, heads close together, whispering over the events of the night before.

“So, he kissed you?” mouthed Tera, trying to draw out more information.

“Yeah,” blushed Jewels and ducked her head lower.

“And then?”

“That's all, then Rainbow called us back,” Jewels reported.

“Have you guys talked at all today?” Tera wanted to know.

“No,” Jewels shook her head and then bit her lip, anxiously.

Later, after they had returned to camp and finished the dinner and their campers played away the evening until campfire, Jewels sat on the steps of the dining hall watching the camp before her. Les approached and quietly sat beside her. She said nothing but waited for him, whatever he would say. He got up and stood in front of her.

“Jewels, I've been thinking,” He began cautiously, eyeing her for information.

“Yeah, what is it, Trip?” she said peering up at him, anxiously yet hopefully.

“So, last night,” he began. “What happened between us...its just that...”

“Yeah?” Jewels asked, drawing him out.

“I think...let's just remain friends, okay?” he eyed her, looking her over, wanting more, wanting her to stand up and fight for him, for them. She sighed, looked down at her dirty feet caked with dust, feet that were never clean, then looked back at him and gave her best “that's okay with me” smile.

“Sure thing,” she finally answered. He nodded and leaned over, awkwardly giving her a hug.

Pulling back, he said, “I'll see you around, okay?”

She nodded and off he headed. She bit her lip, fighting back the tears from leaving her eyes, and clasped her hands together. Come on, Ruby, she thought, he's just one guy, it doesn't matter anyway.

Linger

One Final Time

The music in the gym was pumping, loud yet pleasant. Les danced wildly by Tera's side and with her friends. He felt the approving glances of her closest friends, as their eyes lingered over him flirtatiously. He flirted back but couldn't find himself wanting anymore. His mind kept being drawn back to her, and to Jess as a matter of fact. He knew that he had to make a decision when it came to Jess, no matter what the consequences in his other relationships transpired, and he felt he knew what he had to do. He did his duty, slow-dancing with Tera and she kept her promise to keep it as “just friends” status. The music was loud enough that it kept their dialogue down so that Les could remain lost in thought for the majority of the evening.

As she drove him home, they were fairly quiet as they let the radio play softly in the background. He looked out the window and watched the dark and empty streets stream by quietly. Tera cleared her throat and he glanced over at her.

“So you had fun?” she began.

“Yeah,” he smiled at her. “It was nice hanging out at you.”

She beamed as she studied the road ahead of her before speaking again.

“So, what did you think of my friends?”

“Yeah, they seemed nice,” was all he could say and looked out the window again.

“What about Maggie?” Tera kept fishing.

“Oh, um, she's nice,” was all he would answer. Then, “Why?”

“Oh, she just asked about you, is all.”

“Asked about me?” Les was suddenly curious.

“Like if you were single, you know, and all that,” was Tera's reply. Les was silent, unsure of how to answer, and looked ahead of him out the front window. After a moment of silence, Tera broke it with,

“So are you?”

That question hung in the air loosely between them. Tera quickly spat out,

“Not for me personally, just in general, I don't like you like that, really.”

“No, I know,” Les assured her. “And, I'm kind a sorta not.”

That's all he would give and they lapsed both into the silence, as Patsy Cline crooned “Crazy” on the radio.

“I love this song,” Tera said and reached to turn it up. They both listened in silence, respectively. As it came to a close, Tera asked, “So, who then?”

“Hmm?” was Les's reply.

“Who are you kind a sorta seeing?” Tera wanted to know.

“Oh, um, well, Jess actually,” Les admitted. Tera gasped and then said,

“You mean Jess from camp?”

“Um, yeah,” Les laughed. “She's really pretty cool and I like hanging out with her, only---”

“Only?”

“Nothing,” He was silent as he recalled his and Jess's last encounter and made a mental note to call her in the morning with his ready response to her request. Tera searched her mind for what she should tell Ruby, finally relaxing into her decision about having a “wait and see” on this Les's relationship status with Jess, maybe it would fizzle itself out and Ruby would have her chance, if she would only get over her shyness and admit to her feelings. If only.

Crazy

One Final Time

Tera pulled up to Les' mom's house at about quarter to six, the dance started at nine so they were going to grab dinner beforehand. She got out of her beat-up old toyota pick-up, her dad's old truck, careful to protect her golden heels and sweeping pale pink strapless dress and headed up the walk towards his front door. Les was waiting in the living room and opened the door before she could reach the front. He was hoping to dash out the door quickly but his mom stopped him from doing so with a squeal and a “where's the camera?” She made the two of them stand on the porch and pose in their prom finery before heading out. Tera awkwardly pinned a boutonniere on Les' coat, then they hurriedly scurried down the walk towards her truck.

A few minutes later, they pulled into Olive Garden and after ordering two cokes and pasta, they caught each other up on the latest news.

“You going up to Camp this summer?” Tera wanted to know. Les nodded as he sipped a mouthful of coke. “Me too.”

“When? What week?” Les finally asked, after swallowing.

“I go up July 14^th, the same as last year,” she answered. His eyes smiled largely.

“Me too,” and she smiled back. “So, we'll be up there again this year.”

Tera took a sip of drink and Les did the same. He thought a moment, hesitated, and looked out the window, pondering his next move. Finally he spoke,

“Do you know who else is going?”

Tera shook her head and took another sip of coke. Les hesitated, sucked in air, and then blurted out,

“What about Ruby?”

Tera shrugged, tilted her head to one side, and then said, “Yeah, I think so, the same time.”

She then sipped her drink again. Soda in any fashion was not allowed in her house-hold and so any chance she got to have some was a real treat. She'd pay for it later, when she was up at 3 in the morning.

“Oh, I see,” and Les sipped at his coke as well and he clasped his hands together underneath the table, gripping them with some form of excitement. Maybe this would be the year for them. But, then his eyes flashed back to Jess, who he'd been now talking to on AOL the last week. She was fun to hang around with and not to mention gorgeous. She also was easy to talk to and had a lot of the same interests. Still something drew him close to Ruby, some connection he could not yet really describe. There was something about her that...when she looked at him, she looked into his eyes and saw him, he felt, for who he was. No one else had ever reached him like that, without words.

In her bedroom in a city nearby, Ruby sat on her bed, guitar in her lap, angrily strumming, trying to rid her mind of the image of Tera and Les together. She knew she could never stay mad at Tera, that she had, in a very real sense, given her permission or the okay for this to happen. And, she knew Tera was true to her word in that it was “just as friends”. But, Ruby, ever the worrier, couldn't help let her mind imagine all sorts of scenarios of their night together, how'd they realize their feelings for each other, get together, fall in love, get married, maybe, and on and on it went.

Looking over her Rod McKuen book, she sang out the same words over and over, trying to get the right tune to match the right meaning,

“And so, this song, this song, this song...has no words.”

Later, as Tera maneuvered her car through the streets towards her school, Les sat in the passenger seat looking straight ahead. His mind racked for something to say, but nothing really came. Although with Tera, he liked not having to think of anything to say, but just to sit and be himself. Not trying to have to flirt or earn her approval, not having to choose between her or anyone else. His mind flicked to Jess and he licked his lips, closed his eyes, and Ruby's face flashed before him. He opened them and looked over at Tera, who was adjusting the radio dials. Oldies music flooded the car immersing from the station.

“What the world needs now is love, sweet love,” crooned the singer emotionally.

“That's pretty much the truth,” Tera exclaimed. Les nodded, agreeing with her. But, what kind of love?

As the walked towards her school gym, Les looked around at all the other students, foreign to him, dressed to their nines in their formal gowns and tuxedos, the girls were beautiful and the boys were all gangly skinny arms and pimply faces. Les secretly hoped he looked nothing like this.

Tera cleared her throat as they waited in the bustling line to enter the dance. Les looked at her and she looked down at him, her blue eyes piercing.

“So, I've got a question for you,” she began and he nodded, his head tilted with curiosity. “What do you think of Ruby?”

So, this was it, Les thought. This was the do or die, the tell or be silent. This was the first moment towards making his choice...

“She's pretty cool,” was his reply.

“Oh,” came Tera and they moved up in line.

“She's kind of quiet though,” Les said, trying to keep the conversation going without seeming too eager. “That's all right though. Why do you ask?”

“I just wondered, is all,” came Tera's reply. And, then they were interrupted as some girls came up from behind and called her name. She turned and smiled at the three girls in line behind them and introduced them around to Les as “Maggie, Deborah, and Karen”.   

Dying Inside To Hold You

One Final Time

One Final Time

Across town, Les sat quietly and dejectedly in the food court of the local mall. Before him sat a Burger King meal which he stared at without eating it, playing with his french fries, nibbling here and there. He could not accurately describe how he felt, just this sense of emptiness within him. Looking up, he stared about him at the young families sitting nearby, toddlers in booster seats and other children crying and running about the restaurant tables. He sighed and turned back to his meal, feeling alone. He heard footsteps approaching.

“Trip, is that you?”

He looked up and saw Jess, his friend from summer camp, standing above him. He smiled up at her, relieved at the pleasant distraction. She was quite beautiful and stunning.

“Yeah, Jess,” he stood up in front of her. She was holding a tray with pizza and a soda on it. “You want to sit down?”

“Yes, please,” she said and they sat down across from each other.

“So how are you?” Les asked, looking her over lustily.

“I'm all right,” she began, sipping her coke. “Just looking for home-coming dresses, you know.”

“Oh,” was all he could manage and begin eating his burger.

“What about you?” She asked at last, picking up her slice of pizza and looking over at him.

He didn't know what to say, hesitated on being honest yet of all the friends he had in this world, that he gained in his short life, she was one of the few that he could be completely open.

“Um,” he began brokenly. “Not so good, actually.”

“Yeah?” she responded, eyebrows raised.

“Parents' so happily just told me they are separating,” he breathed out at last, never knowing how relieved he felt to finally speak his thoughts.

“Wow, sorry to hear that,” Jess said sympathetically. “My parents divorced when I was like three, then my mom got remarried to my step-dad when I was eight. So, I was just a kid when it all went down.”

“Yeah,” he began. “I guess they've been trying to work it out for years, maybe since I was born, but just think its best if they take this step, or something like that they said.”

Jess looked him over and he could feel her piercing blue eyes surveying him deeply. She could see the heaviness coming off of him and felt sympathy.

“So, what are you doing today?” she asked.

“Not sure,” he said. “Just trying to stay out of everyone's hair at home, I guess.”

“All right,” she smiled slowly. “Want to make a day of it?”

“You mean, you want to hang out with me?”

“Yeah,” she laughed. “Homecoming dresses can wait, that's boring anyway after awhile. Let's go downtown.”

He nodded up at her and they both turned towards their meals and quietly finished.   

Everyday I Write the Book

One Final Time

One Final Time

The outside scenery flooding by the bus seemed to pass quickly from the early city morning to the rural landscape making way towards the summer camp. Once arrived at the camp destination, the bus parked itself on a rural road, releasing the students and junior counselors to begin the long trek down the hill to the river, where canoes awaited to take them and their possessions the place that would be their home for a week, for a life-time.

Les, or Trip, swung his guitar over his shoulder as he grabbed the rest of his belongings from the belly of the bus. He turned to see Ruby, waiting behind him.

“Which one is yours?” he asked, hoping to once again find away to know her better. She pointed silently towards an orange sleeping bag with a pillow tied to it and a large green knapsack. As she did, he thought he saw some peculiar-looking vertical lines (or scars) running up her wrist. Noticing, she quickly pulled her arm back and pulled the flannel shirt, she was still wearing even though it had to be in the high nineties at the least, down over her hand. He said nothing as he bent over and grabbed the bags, setting his own down as he did so, and handed them over to her. She nodded at him and made her way towards the line of other campers and counselors streaming down the hill.

The river flowed gently as the young approached, setting their packs down momentarily in order to thus remove their shoes to cross. Bags placed in canoes and the younger campers too, the counselors worked together to pull them across to the shore, the entrance leading to the camp. The water was cold as it rose to just above their ankles, a healing energy unknown to Ruby as she made her way across, stepping gingerly even with the added weight of her canoe in order to not hit a stone or turtle, and felt the mud squish between her toes. For the first time in a very long time, she felt what it must be like to be truly alive...and the beginnings of foreign feeling of happiness began to spread throughout her body.

The sand and stones on the beach mixed with the mud on her feet as she stepped ashore and pulled the boat on land. She helped the campers (how cute they were) to gather their items, found her shoes and her own items, and followed the crowd to the entrance of camp, then to the tree-lined center of camp where everyone gathered to meet and greet and find out which cabins they were placed in.

The wind rustled softly through the arena as the head counselors loudly announced the list of campers' names and the children filed downwards to meet them, the junior counselors' joining in the throng. The other counselors and older junior counselors cheered loudly with each announcement. Once the cabin-mates had met and been announced, they made their way back to their place in the audience, which would be their place at all camp meetings, the head counselor on one side, the junior on the other.

As the remaining campers found their places, the rest of the camp, bags and sleeping bags in tow, made their way up the hill to their respective cabins, their homes for the week long adventure before them. What was to come lay before them unknown as they began to make themselves comfortable in their new surroundings. The counselor joking with her teenager counterpart, the campers shyly greeting one another and sharing stories.

In that first meeting time, sitting around each other in a circle, Ruby's head counselor, Breeze, gently laid down the cabin rules and the laws of camp. Ruby watched as Breeze joked and communicated easily with the children, feeling a pang on her wrists bringing out that familiar desire to cut. Once again she pulled down the grey flannel she was still wearing over her scars. Packed away in her suitcase, her mother had given her several coverings for the slice-scars, large bracelets, armbands for swimming or “strength-training”, anything for a good cover story, better to not show the truth of one's misery.

The days would pass peacefully for Ruby and the kids, filled with archery lessons, jewelry making activities, swimming, hiking, and the nightly shows of campfire. All the junior counselors had their daily meetings with their Junior Counselor Leader, Seuss, who allowed them space to be the kids they still were and taught them the life lessons needed for childcare. All the teenagers looked up to her and to the other senior counselors in their twenties, whose lives seemed full of sophistication and allure. They longed for the freedom these older friends had, not under the watchful eye and suspicious supervision of their parents' and guardians. Little did they know, these senior counselors whose lives they envied were in fact in some ways envying them their youth, longing themselves for the more carefree days of their teenage years.

Ruby found a close connection with the curly haired girl, Tera, and they grew to have a fast connection. It was to her that Ruby confided her growing affection for Les, who was now mostly known as Trip, around camp. Ruby and Tera had not yet found their “camp names”. For his part, Trip (Les) seemed to be an average teenage boy, an interest not just in one particular girl but in many in the quest to satisfy his desires. He did give Ruby some attention though, of which moments she lived for, repeating often in her mind and heart.

One such moment stood out among the rest. It was late afternoon their first week at camp coming to an end, Ruby was sitting alone in the designated junior counselor private area, a solitary table amongst the leafy trees and shrubbery set apart from the rest of the camp. Before her was a notebook opened, she listened to the delightful sound of the children playing in the water as it lapped against the shore. Peace filled her heart, a feeling so familiar to her in this place and yet unknown in her life back home. Every moment or so, she'd pick up her pen and write a few thoughts before then staring back into space, a contented smile on her face.

Quietly behind her, Trip entered, carrying his guitar cradled in his arms, the strap around his neck. She turned and looked at him, seeking to hide her blush letting her hair fall in front of her face.

“Mind if I join you?” he stammered out. She nodded and turned to her journal, trying to avert her gaze from him and trying desperately to think of something to say to him that would be cool and flirtatious, as she had seen the other girls' do so effortlessly. He sat on the opposite side of the table from her and faced the river. Quietly, he began strumming the guitar. “I'm sorry, do you mind?”

She shook her head and managed, “How long have you played?”

“Not long,” he began. “Basically this summer. I had a girl-friend back home for awhile that played, when she broke up with me, I just kind of kept up at it, don't know why, really, just something to pass the time.”

She nodded and looked back down at her journal, not knowing what to write, but waiting for him to say more.

“What's in the notebook?” he asked, turning slightly to her and letting his hands fall away from the strings.

“Oh, just..it's nothing, just my thoughts,” she said, ashamed and looking away.

“I'm very interested in that,” he said and she turned to see him smiling at her. “Can I see?”

She hesitated and said, “I don't know.”

“Its okay,” he said. “Its none of my business.”

He began playing again and she watched him, shyly, out of the corner of her eye. Noticing, he turned back to her.

“Ever played?” He asked. She shook her head.

“Never even held one,” She explained. “Played piano when I was a kid.”

“I can teach you, if you'd like,” he offered and Ruby's heart soared to heights it never thought possible. She nodded and he motioned for her to join him on his side of the table. She came around, leaving her notebook open and sat beside him with a gasp. He removed the guitar strap from his neck and placed the guitar in her arms. Then, he placed her hands in the appropriate places on the instrument. “It may hurt your finger tips the first couple times, until you build up the callouses.”

She looked at him and he laughed. She smiled back.

“This is c,” he said, placing her fingers on her left hand on the appropriate strings. “Then you strum with your right.”

Doing so, she awkwardly heard the music flowing outward. He showed her the other notes, g, f, a, b, and she played each, reveling in the time spent together. A harsh breeze suddenly kicked up, shattering the moment because the pages of her notebook ruffled in the wind. She turned and watched as a loose slip of paper blew out and fluttered by their faces to quick to grab. Momentarily it fell on the ground and Toast reached down quickly snatching it up before it would travel farther on.

For a moment, he caught sight of the words scribbled on the page, full of pain and loneliness and he suddenly suspected why she always wore the armbands. She got up to retrieve the paper from him, still holding the guitar, which was the only thing between them as they faced each other. His eyes searching hers, as if to ask why. Then, he handed her the slip of paper and she, too, saw what she had written.

“I cannot stand my life anymore,” they began. “I do not want to live. I will end this.”

She averted her eyes, folding the paper, and sticking it deep within her pocket to hide the evidence. She began to remove the guitar strap from her neck to give him back his instrument but he grabbed her right hand and pulled it towards him. Slowly, wordlessly, he let his finger run up towards her armband. She shivered with his touch, not just with pleasure but from the shame. He pulled down the band and saw, the sewn up scars of the slices. He looked up and their eyes met, hers filling with shameful tears and his with pained wonder. She pulled her arm away quickly, handed him the guitar, and pulled her armband back in place.

“Don't tell,” she said in a pained whisper. “Don't tell...anyone.”

He took the guitar and looked her over.

“It's okay, they won't care,” he said, trying to reassure.

“Exactly,” was all she could say and moved to collect her journal, starting to leave.

“I won't,” he said, his words stopping her. “I won't tell.”

She turned and looked at him, before ascending towards the main camp.

“Your secret is safe with me,” he said, breathing out. “Always.”

Everybody Hurts

One Final Time

July 14^th, 1995

The early morning summer fog descended heavy upon the town as many converged on the local YMCA, buses ready to be filled with luggage and young campers, excited with the anticipation a week spent away at Camp Ravenspirit. The energy amongst the children and the teenage counselors was vibrant as they packed the belly of the bus with their belongings and boarded the cramped quarters for their journey northwards.

One young teenage boy stood slightly on the outskirts of the excitement, watching. This was his first year as a junior counselor and he watched as the older teen counselors moved expertly about, so used to how to make the morning run smoothly. He felt as awkward and out of place as he did his first year at his high school. Smaller than most boys his age, his brown eyes smoldered with the desire to hide his insecurity, buried himself within and trying nearly unsuccessfully to appear cooler than he felt he looked. None of his friends he had spent summers with as campers were going to be there this week, working as junior counselors. The busy hum of the chatter of those around him thronged around him, almost like a sort of music. On his back, hung his acoustic guitar in its case, something he had just taken up. He felt the gentle breeze blow back his shoulder-length black hair as he shivered with the thought of the oncoming responsibility of the two weeks to come.

If he had been less lost in his thoughts, as he always seemed to dwell too much, he would have paid more attention to his hectic surroundings and would have noticed a young teenage girl also standing a little on the outskirts. Her hair pulled back into a low pony-tail, her eyes wide with wonder watching all the goings-on and the chatter swirling about her. Her purple backpack slung on her shoulders with her suitcase, pillow, and sleeping bag at her feet awaiting her chance to pack it away and board the bus. She, too, shivered with nervousness and uncertainty of how to behave in this setting. This was her first year at Camp Crowshaven, too old to be a camper yet had been involved in student council and girls' scouts, the powers that be had allowed her to join this year as a junior counselor. This new world she was joining today seemed as foreign as if she had landed in another country or even more-so another planet.

Her name was Ruby and his name was Les. At this moment, they had yet to have their first time meeting each other, yet to know just how their lives would affect each others in the weeks, summers, and years to come.

The rumbling of the bus rolled through the early city morning, the streets empty of traffic. The teenagers and children on the bus paid no mind to the day that would unfold for those not traveling with them. The busyness of the workday, bills, and responsibilities was still a far cry from their youthful, seemingly carefree understandings.

All that Ruby could think of as she peered outside the bus window was how to start up a conversation with the cute boy sitting next to her. All Les could think about was how he liked to look at this girl sitting next to him, her soft delicate facial features and her thin, shapely body brought out the new sexual feelings he had been discovering these last few years. He cleared his throat, hoping for her response. She looked over at him, eyebrows raised.

“Um, hi,” he smirked back at her. “I'm Les.”

“Oh, uh, hi,” she said, slipping a loose strand of hair nervously behind her ear. “I'm Ruby.”

“First year?” he wanted to know.

“Yeah, you?” she responded.

“Um, as junior counselor, I was a camper before, you?” he answered.

“No, never been to camp,” she said matter of factually. “My parents thought it would be a good way for me to make friends, get out of my shell.”

She pulled the flannel shirt further down over her wrists, covering her hands. She looked back out the window at the city passing by like a montage of movie scenes and bit her lip anxiously. Les looked her over and finally said, awkwardly,

“You okay?”

She hesitated for a moment, unsure of what to say and then answered without looking from the window.

“Yeah, I'm fine,” was all she would give.

They rode in silence then, amidst the chatter of the other voices on the bus. There were a few other teenagers, junior counselors both male and female, some older and some their age, nearby. Les turned towards them.

“Hey,” he said to no one in particular. They turned at them. There was a girl with long bushy curly hair, a tallish average looking man with a belly sort of rotund and wavy short brown hair, a girl on the shorter side with short-cut blue hair, a tall angular and could be thought of as cute guy with long, soft brown hair with a Greek fisherman's hat on top, a heavy-set girl with shoulder-length brown hair, a sporty looking blond girl with penetrating blue eyes. They all looked him over.

“Hey yourself,” came the girl with the blue hair.

“I'm Les,” he managed to squeak out.

Blue hair grinned at him.

“Hey first year, I'm Howard,” she laughed. “Well, that's my camp name. This is (pointing to the girl with bushy curly hair) Tera, and this is (pointing to the rotund belly boy), Geoff, spelled like GE-OFF, This guy (nodding towards the boy with the fisherman's hat) Turbo, also camp name, That is (with a nod towards the heavy-set girl) Kate, and that pretty young thing (towards blue eyes) is also a first year and she calls herself, Jess.”

Jess, or Blue Eyes, looked over at him, her eyes smiling, “Got all that, Les.”

“Um, think so,” he laughed. “This is Ruby.” He said, nudging the girl sitting next to him. She turned and smiled shyly at them and quietly joined the conversation.

Howard smiled at her. “You also first year?”

Ruby nodded, quietly taking them all in.

Howard, obviously somewhat of the ringleader, grinned over at her.

“Don't worry we won't bite...well, not hard anyway.”

The rest of the teenagers laughed, including Les, and Ruby joined in quietly. For the first time, she found herself warming to those around her, felt a small sense of acceptance from each of them. No one here knew her past, knew what she was like at school, knew what she had done or what she had been through the year previous. She folded her arms and hugged herself tightly. Also, she tried hard to avert her eyes from Les' face, she couldn't really help noticing how cute he was increasingly becoming to her.

“Les that short for anything?” Geoff, the rotund belly boy, wanted to know. Les shook his head slightly and said nothing, pressing his lips together firmly with his jaw set. Geoff didn't seem to notice and went on, “Les? Leslie? Boys can be called Leslie? No, wait, I've got it, Lester. Its Lester, right?”

Les said nothing but could feel his face redden, not just from embarrassment but from the anger building inside. Would he never be free from this taunting, even here amongst these new friends?

“That's right, isn't it?” Geoff continued.

“Hey, hey, G,” Howard started to shush him. She looked over at Les. “You okay?”

Geoff finally noticed. “Hey,” he said, blushing. “Don't get mad, okay? I didn't mean anything by it.”

Les stared straight ahead, trying to calm himself the way his therapist had taught him. Geoff didn't stop.

“Look, man, don't get all...trippy, okay?”

Les counted to ten silently and slowly. Then, releasing his breath, he turned to Geoff,

“All right, its just that I hate that name, please don't call me that anymore.”

Everyone nodded in affirmation.

“So, what should we call you then? What do you prefer?” Jess wanted to know. Les realized how pretty she actually was and felt the growing attraction building inside of him.

“Les is fine,” he said.

“Les is more,” joked Geoff. “You know, I like 'Trippy'?”

“Trippy?”

“You know, when you were all upset, I said that,” Geoff explained, back-pedaling.

“Trippy?” Les repeated. “Really? Trippy?”

Howard confirmed, “Yeah, I don't know what's worse, Lester, please excuse, Les, or Trippy.”

“Well, then Trip,” Geoff finally apologized, albeit awkwardly and too late. “You know, for a camp name.”

“Trip,” Les let that name roll around in his head for a minute. Being a camper all these years, he'd always wondered how the counselors got their names and hoped someday to have a “name” and a “story” of his own.

“Yeah, no one will ever make the mistake of calling you Lest, I mean, the wrong name again,” Geoff brought out and grinned over at Les. Les looked him over and decided this Jacob kid wasn't so bad after all.   

Dreams