Showing posts with label Everyday I Write the Book. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Everyday I Write the Book. Show all posts

Thursday, April 7, 2016

This Moment In Time

All that matters is this moment, right here, right now.

Way back when I was in the fundamentalist church, the preacher would preach on forgiveness of sins with such a degree of ferocity that we were not only to accept this forgiveness but forget what came before.  At first, this concept is completely refreshing, the idea of being able to start over with a clean slate can be very freeing and invigorating.

But, the problem is, one can never truly forget their past, which if one remains in the fundamentalist lifestyle, leads to such shame for one's past.  The result being, a loss of identity and understanding of self.

Looking back over my past relationships with my lovers, eleven counting the one of whom I never did the deed (for indeed he was a lover), there are sweet memories lingering after the harsh reality of the break up descended into time.  Today, I'm not saying I would "take them back" as it were, I mean, they are exes for a reason, right?

But, for that moment in time, that unforgettable powerful moment in time, we were one, we were in love and that love, no matter how it is defined, never truly dies.  And shouldn't.

For it is in honoring our past that we can overcome and continue forward in the path of which we are destined.  Trying to push it away, to forget, leaves us in a place of stagnation and despair, I know, I've tried.

For that reason, I choose to forgive the broken-heart and the harsh endings, to remember and cherish always, that time we shared, the love between us.  Always.

Our Moment, Our Time.



Saturday, November 7, 2015

One Final Time

One Final Time

Across town, Les sat quietly and dejectedly in the food court of the local mall. Before him sat a Burger King meal which he stared at without eating it, playing with his french fries, nibbling here and there. He could not accurately describe how he felt, just this sense of emptiness within him. Looking up, he stared about him at the young families sitting nearby, toddlers in booster seats and other children crying and running about the restaurant tables. He sighed and turned back to his meal, feeling alone. He heard footsteps approaching.

“Trip, is that you?”

He looked up and saw Jess, his friend from summer camp, standing above him. He smiled up at her, relieved at the pleasant distraction. She was quite beautiful and stunning.

“Yeah, Jess,” he stood up in front of her. She was holding a tray with pizza and a soda on it. “You want to sit down?”

“Yes, please,” she said and they sat down across from each other.

“So how are you?” Les asked, looking her over lustily.

“I'm all right,” she began, sipping her coke. “Just looking for home-coming dresses, you know.”

“Oh,” was all he could manage and begin eating his burger.

“What about you?” She asked at last, picking up her slice of pizza and looking over at him.

He didn't know what to say, hesitated on being honest yet of all the friends he had in this world, that he gained in his short life, she was one of the few that he could be completely open.

“Um,” he began brokenly. “Not so good, actually.”

“Yeah?” she responded, eyebrows raised.

“Parents' so happily just told me they are separating,” he breathed out at last, never knowing how relieved he felt to finally speak his thoughts.

“Wow, sorry to hear that,” Jess said sympathetically. “My parents divorced when I was like three, then my mom got remarried to my step-dad when I was eight. So, I was just a kid when it all went down.”

“Yeah,” he began. “I guess they've been trying to work it out for years, maybe since I was born, but just think its best if they take this step, or something like that they said.”

Jess looked him over and he could feel her piercing blue eyes surveying him deeply. She could see the heaviness coming off of him and felt sympathy.

“So, what are you doing today?” she asked.

“Not sure,” he said. “Just trying to stay out of everyone's hair at home, I guess.”

“All right,” she smiled slowly. “Want to make a day of it?”

“You mean, you want to hang out with me?”

“Yeah,” she laughed. “Homecoming dresses can wait, that's boring anyway after awhile. Let's go downtown.”

He nodded up at her and they both turned towards their meals and quietly finished.