At the bar, they moved to
the exterior deck, up to the highest point, the crow's nest they
called it. The dark night set in, drinks were ordered. James sat
with Deborah close by, taking large gulps of his guiness to her
gentle sips of red wine. Underneath the table, they held hands,
Deborah's thumb rubbing over James' hand. Matthew sat across the
table, pulling drags on his cigarette and barely touching his gin and
tonic. He stared longingly and angrily over at Deborah and James.
What the hell? I mean, he knew that the loss of Eve was devastating
to James but all this attention she was giving him seemed to be
surpassing what was needed for consolation. He noticed James leaning
in and whispering into Deborah's ear, then found it strange when he,
James, would turn his head slightly and look directly into Matthew's
eyes. It felt almost underhanded, as if James was using his
grief-stricken state to bed Deborah and take her directly out of
Matthew's grasp.
Deborah got up and moved
over to Matthew. She touched his shoulder lightly, then bent down
and kissed him softly and chastely on the cheek.
“I think I'm gonna take
off for the night,” she whispered into his ear. “I'll call you
tomorrow.”
He looked at her, searching
her eyes desperately, pleading for her to stay, to tell him the
truth, was she really going home? Was she in fact going off
with...after everything that had happened, what they had shared, she
would just throw it away? He shook those thoughts off, he could not
control her choices. And, although his heart was starting to break,
he nodded and raised himself to her lips, kissed her sweetly and
passionately a good night and farewell. She skipped down the stairs,
through the bar, and out into the parking lot as she made her way the
few blocks to the house with the room she rented. A few minutes
later, James drained his drink and stood up, nodding around to his
friends.
“I gotta get home,” he
explained. “Jut gotta process this, you know.”
Matthew stared him down but
due to the growing darkness this opposition was lost to James, who
seemed lost in the energy of his own mind, the thoughts racing from
the loss of Eve to the connection he was feeling from Deborah. James
passed Matthew, only giving him a slight nod of acknowledging a
good-night, not wanting to spend too much time with idle chitchat
unless guilt would overtake him or something like that would dissuade
him from the mission on his mind.
Out on the street, James
turned his mind and his body towards the house where Deborah lived.
He moved quickly, taking longer strides than he normally did, even
though his walk was fast to begin with. At her house, he peeked into
her bedroom window and wrapped against the window pane. Her
beautiful, sweet face peeked out into the darkness and smiled at him.
She opened her window and leaned outwards.
“Can I help you?” she
asked sweetly and flirtatiously, bating him.
“Yeah, can I come in?”
came his reply. She cocked her head to one side and studied him,
then answered with,
“You know, I really really
shouldn't but--”
“But?” James was trying
to draw her out, bating her while holding his breath with
anticipation.
“I feel strangely pulled
to you is all,” Deborah answered thoughtfully. “And it has
nothing to do with...what happened today, but if I'm perfectly
honest, I've been feeling it for awhile.”
James smiled mysteriously
into her eyes and nodded.
“Yeah, me too,” was all
he gave. She leaned farther out the window and looked deeply into
his eyes.
“I know that I shouldn't,
it's really not fair to Matthew or...but James, could you, would you,
kiss me...just once?”
She closed her eyes and
breathed out, as if in a prayer. And waited. Then, she felt the
soft lips of James press against hers. She parted her lips and
allowed his tongue to enter her mouth. In that way, they stood, time
froze, the rest of the world faded away, and it was just them, only
the two of them. Everything else that had happened before or would
happen was non-existant. All that mattered was each other.
Finally, Deborah pulled away
slowly and smiled at him.
“I'll meet you at the
front door,” she pulled herself in and closed the window, moving
down the hall towards the front door. He stood outside, shivering
not just from the cold but from anticipation. Was this some kind of
sandbag against the impending deluge of the complete loss of Eve or
was this truly in fact real love? James shook it from his head and
focused entirely on the here and now. Deborah opened the door to him
and he entered. She took his head and led him towards her bedroom,
opening the door and pulling him inside. He pulled her into his arms
and kissed her passionately, letting his hands explore her body. She
groaned and backed herself against the bed, collapsing backwards onto
it as he fell on top of her. And due to her compliance her, he took
her, completely.
In the dark together they
lay in her bed. He stroked the softness of her back and moved the
hair from her face.
“What are you thinking
about?” James asked.
“Just about us...and what
I'm going to tell Matthew,” was all she could say, stifling back a
sob.
“Well, he can't mess with
fate after all,” James tried to reassure her.
“Do you believe in that?
Fate? What about destiny?”
“Yeah, yeah, of course,”
he said.
“What's the difference?
Between fate and destiny, I mean?” Deborah asked pushing herself to
her elbows and looking down at him.
“Fate is the journey and
destiny is the final destination,” James said slowly, allowing his
words to make their emphasis. Deborah looked down at him,
thoughtfully.
“I like that,” was all
she would say. He pulled her down to him again.
“Now just relax,” he
said. “Tonight we'll be together, just us, tomorrow we'll deal
with everything else. The world is ours tonight, only ours.”
Deborah closed her eyes and
she started drifting downward into dreamland. She found herself in
some kind of in between place, between heaven and earth, a mist like
fog covered the land and towards her came a bright yet translucent
woman came towards her. It stood before her, floating above her.
Its lips moved to scream, to garner her attention. Deborah called
out, “What? What is it? Who are you? What do you want?” The
translucent girl's face frowned, she looked beyond Deborah and fear
overtook her face. Deborah turned around but saw only the misty
landscape and nothing more.
“There's nothing to be
afraid of,” Deborah said reassuringly, turning back around. But,
she was gone. The translucent girl was suddenly and completely gone.
Deborah woke with a start,
trying to catch her breath. The moonlight streamed through the
window, fell on her face. She looked about the room, for some
explanation, at her room shrouded in semi-darkness with the moonlight
falling ghostly on the surfaces of the objects in her room. Perhaps
that was the cause of the translucent apparation in her dreams. She
shuddered, looked down at James, and he stirred. Blinking his eyes,
he woke up and stared up at her. Her face aglow in the moonlight.
“What's wrong? Why are you
awake?” he said full of sudden shock, as if awakened from a dream
that was fast turning into a nightmare.
“I had this dream, a crazy
dream,” was all Deborah could say. James sat up and studied the
girl next to him, waiting. “There was this girl, an apparation,
not complete, like a ghost or...I don't know...and she was trying to
tell me something, a warning, maybe, I don't know, some truth.”
There was complete silence
as James took that in, studying every facet of her face. He waited
for some bit of reason, or spiritual insight to come into his foggy,
sleepy mind, something to say to appease her, distract her, maybe.
“Sounds like you had a
visitation, is all,” he finally said.
“A visitation? What is
that?” Deborah wanted to know, gasping.
“A visitation, someone
from beyond this world visits us in the dream world,” James
explained.
“Why?” Deborah asked
furtively.
“Something they need to
say, some truth they need to express, something they never got to say
in their lifetime,” James answered.
“But then who is this
person?” Deborah inquired, more to herself and to the heavens.
“Who knows?” James tried
to reassure her, unaware of her true feelings. “Someone from your
past, someone you know who has past on...”
“I don't really know
anyone from my life that has died,” explained Deborah. They
elapsed into silence, the moonlight enveloping them in mysterious
wonder.
The next day, Deborah walked
into the coffee shop, ready to face Matthew. He stared at her across
the counter, stone-faced. He knew before she even could speak a
word.
“Matt, I--” she started
to say.
“He came over last night,
didn't he? After you guys left the bar?” Matthew blurted out.
Deborah stared down at the counter, not sure what to say. “Answer
me, Deborah.”
Deborah looked up at him,
her eyes met his, then she quickly looked away.
“Oh, all right, I see,”
Matthew started. “You can't say anything, can you?”
“I don't know how to
explain, Matt,” she stumbled out. “I mean, it just sort of
happened, I felt these feelings coming on...”
“You expect me to
believe...” Matthew tried to stop her.
“No, I mean, I guess so,”
Deborah haltingly answered. “I mean, well, he...I tried to stop
it, to stay away from him, but...”
“He can be very
convincing, I know,” Matthew relented. He looked at this girl he
had started to care for, had felt things he hadn't felt for awhile,
had had hopes that something could turn into more. And then he said,
“Just be careful there, I guess.”
“What do you mean? How?”
“Just that,” he sought
words to explain. “He runs hot and cold, that one.”
“How so?” Deborah
insisted on knowing.
“I can't explain, I mean,
make you see,” Matthew answered. “But, you'll find out.”
Deborah looked at him, her
eyes scowled. Inward Matthew cringed at this look of disapproval
from a girl he had thought of as more than a friend. Like a young
twenty-something he pushed those feelings away and blurted out in
angrily, “Just go, all right?”
Deborah's face fell,
crestfallen, lonely and Matthew's heart broke, but he squared his
shoulders and crossed his arms, leaning against the back wall. She
bit her lip.
“Matthew, I...I'm so
sorry,” was all she could say and turned and hurriedly left the
coffee shop before the tears could come in full.
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