Daggers In Men's Smiles Trailer

Cafe-Girl: A Girl Conquers World Novella

“Here's my phone number, if you ever want to call me when you can't sleep,” Deborah's voice rang over and over through Matthew's excited brain. He stood holding the napkin with her name and phone number scribbled across it loosely. This was it, this was his in, the initiatory step into whatever was going to be between them. He could toss the napkin in the garbage, a likely story, or pocket it and wait until he got off work to call her. Happily, he moved through the coffee shop to the patio to brag to his friends when the door swung open, letting the cool air blast in and upon him. In a flash, all time seemed to stop, everything that was slipped away into momentary oblivion. Before him, framed in the doorway, the cool air flowing around her, stood Deborah, dressed in completely different clothes than the ones she had just left in, and quite inappropriately dressed for this fall weather, a tanktop and short pants.

“Deborah, what the...?”

She quickly moved into the coffee shop, her eyes aghast and full of wonder, as if this was the first time in a long time that she had been in this place. She moved past him, brushing slightly against his shoulder with her arm, a tingly sensation overwhelmed him with infatuated desire. She moved through the coffee shop, touching each table, running her hands over every chair, warming herself by the fire as she stared mysteriously into the flames for what seemed like a very long time.

“Deborah, I'm confused,” Matthew said, breaking the silence. “How did you...come back here...with different...”

Deborah turned to face him, resolute.

“I don't have a lot of time here, in this place, this moment, Matt,” she said at last. “Let me explain. Let's sit down.”

She sighed with melancholy, moved to a table by the window, and sat. He sat across from her, his hands folded before him on the table.

“You want a cup of coffee or something?” he asked, after a moment of silence where she stared at him in quiet disbelief.

“That would be...so amazing,” she began and then shook her head. “But, there isn't any time, I don't think...” Tears welled up in her eyes. “I can't believe I'm here now, I never thought I'd see it again, never believed, always hoped...”

“Um, weren't you just---”

“No, Matt, not like that,” Deborah started to explain. “I mean, yes, I was but not me here now. That was then, in the past when...oh my god, its only for the beginning for you...she, I mean, I just gave you my number and its the moment after...”

“Wait, hold on, what are you saying?” Matthew blurted out, starting to become worried about the mental state of this girl he liked. “Why are you wearing those clothes? What the hell?”

“Matthew, I'm not the girl I was, the girl that was just here...I'm from a time after...that's why my clothes are different,” she tried haltingly to explain, her eyes pleading for him to understand, hoping that he would.

“Wait, are you saying...like time travel, like you are from the future or some shit?” Matthew asked, pushing his chair away from the table and starting to get up. He had had it with these crazy girls.

“Wait, please, Matthew,” Deborah was pleading, reaching for his arm. “The number I gave you, on the napkin, where is it?”

He pulled it from his pocket and held it out to her.

“And...and your phone, call it now, please,” Deborah begged. He stood there and stared down at her, searchingly. What the fuck is this shit, he thought.

Deborah blinked rapidly, searching for some way to make him see.

“Look around you, at the other people in the coffee shop, the patio,” she thrust her arms around her to get him to look and her eyes welled up again with agonized tears as she saw the rest of the boys on the patio.

Matthew looked around and then looked around again. Suddenly, he saw what she was saying.

“They're...not moving,” he said at last. “Like at all. What the hell?”

He sat down again heavily in the chair and she sat across from him.

“So, call me, her, me,” Deborah said. He pulled his cell-phone from his pocket and looked over at the number, slowly, deliberately he began to dial. It rang once and then the voice of Deborah rang out from the other end of the line.

“Hello? Hello?” Matthew looked up at Deborah before him and then at the phone with her voice coming through. The phone went dead as Deborah on the phone hung up.

“Now you see,” Deborah said with a sigh. “I am at home, in my room, anxious that you aren't going to call, and when the phone rings I've just thrown it across the room, spilling coffee all over the place and when you call me, I don't know who it is, but I'm trying to clean up the mess and...”

Matthew stopped her by touching her arm. “It's okay,” he said soothingly.

“You'll never talk about this, the two of you, we never do,” Deborah responded.

“So, we become a we,” Matthew said with a hopeful smile. Deborah stared out the window wistfully. “So, if you are from the future, then right, what do you want? Why are you here?”

“Huh?” was all Deborah said as she stared outside lost in thought.

“Well, you came back for a reason so...,” Matthew urged her to speak.

Deborah looked around at the cafe and sighed.

“This place is so cozy. I've missed it so much...no matter how hard I try, I can never find another place like it...but...its not the place that makes it so special, really, I just realized that.”

“Deborah?” Matthew looked over at her. “What happens to this place?”

She looked over at him and into his piercingly warm blue eyes.

“Everything's going to change and fast,” she began, a tear trickling down her face. “You know back when I was younger, when I was here, I lived in this magic little bubble of my own little world, my own little reality, and I thought, I really wanted it to go on forever and ever...but what I have learned is, nothing ever lasts, you've got to hang onto those moments of happiness for as long as possible, hold those shreds of peace in your heart before...”

Matthew opened his mouth to speak but then shut it, remaining silent, watching her, waiting for her.

“And even now, its not what it seems, not as perfect as I thought,” Deborah smiled sadly. “I went into this cafe seeking....seeking love, answers to all my doubts, solace from the world's scariness...and it...it found me here, even here.”

Matthew's eyes flew open.

“What are you talking about?” was all he could say.

“I just wanted to...be here one last time, with you, with everyone,” she said, tears streaming down her face. “Just to feel the fire's warmth and crackle, absorb the atmosphere of this place, see you as you are before...Matt, don't trust what you see on the outside, all is not what it seems now.”

With that, she started to fade right before his eyes. He reached for her, calling her name.

“Deborah, Deborah, wait, don't go!”

She responded to his calling, her voice trailing off further and further into an echo.

“Matthew, come and find me whatever you do.”

And, then she was gone. The rest of the world around him in that cafe returned to normal. He sat back and let out a huge breath. Did that really just happen? He stood up and moved down towards the patio, pushing the door open.

“She gave me her phone number!” he exclaimed.

“Nice,” said James yet Matt thought he heard a hint of jealousy in it. Yet he shook it off. This was good news and nothing was going to damper his happy moment.

Deborah pulled out her keys from her book-bag and stuck them into the lock of her small apartment. She unlocked the door and pushed it open, revealing her small one bedroom apartment, the living room a-mess with dirty dishes on the coffee table, books strewn about, nail polish and left over clippings from her last self-imposed beauty night. She sighed, she had never been this much of a slob in past years, but with the onset of grad school and the weight of the three years had brought on a sense of lethargy and impassive care for her surrounding environment. She set her bag down in the hallway and reached for the keys to her mailbox, hanging on a hook on her hall table.

She moved through the open hallway of her apartment complex, down to the first floor where the mailboxes were located. Unlocking the small door that opened to her mailbox compartment, she expected only to find the usual bills and ads that she would most likely toss in the garbage, well, the ads not the bills, she'd get in trouble if she did that. But, what she found as she pulled out the mail, standing there shivering in the half-cold of October leafing through, yes, the bills, ads, was a personal letter from him...from Matthew. Her heart skipped as she read his name again, how long had it been since they had spoken to each other, let alone seen each other? Deep inside herself, she felt a stirring within, the emptiness that had so consumed her in recent years started to dissipate with a sense of longing...and could it be...perhaps, love, at least of some sorts. She hurried back up the stairs to her apartment.

She sat on her sofa, a mug of tea in both hands, her legs pulled up to her chest, staring at the unopened letter sitting atop her coffee table. She'd cleaned up a bit, the dirty dishes were in the sink, the nail polish and its sundry items were placed back in the bathroom so merely before her was the letter sitting alone by itself. As she stared at it, she took it in fully, its loneliness resting there on the coffee table echoed the loneliness within her. In her mind's eye, she saw Matthew alone at a coffee shop, lonely like her, staring down deep into his coffee mug, his hands wrapped around it, not unlike hers around her tea, a cigarette dangling out of one hand, waiting, hoping, longing, maybe.

It had been three years since that night at the bar. Three years since Matthew had called the police and the investigation and subsequent trial. The police having disregarded her re-telling of her visions as evidence but had discovered that the necklace itself with DNA evidence of both James and Eve was sufficient enough evidence for booking. Deborah had not been able to attend the trial, work was her excuse but really it was due to her not wanting to acknowledge the truth of the state of James, that even though she had witnessed per her vision the murder, she could not, did not want to, believe he was capable of such atrocity. The jury had found him guilty, a psychiatrist had found him mentally unstable and labeled him with paranoid schizophrenia. He was up north in jail now in a psychiatric unit. Shortly after the trial had concluded, Deborah moved closer to her parents house for graduate school, in none other than, psychology, leaving all of them behind, trying to run as far as possible from them which was proving to be impossible. The faces of Shaggy, Thomas, Ray, Matthew, and even James swam up at her. The happier times, hiking, drinking at the bar in the crow's nest, the long talks and joking days over their coffee mugs and cigarettes at the cafe...it all refused to disappear from her thoughts but was there like an ever present and insistent companion in every moment of her days, waking and otherwise.

Alone in her apartment, a tear trickled down her face. She had managed, she rationalized, to stem the tide of emotion on this whole matter as far away from the fore-front of her heart as possible but now with the letter before her the emotion began to flow. Slowly, she set the tea mug on the table before her and picked up the letter. Holding it, the envelope felt heavier than what it should, heavy with the weight of memory. Reluctantly, she opened it and pulled the sheets of paper from within.

“Dear Deborah,” Matthew wrote. “Its been awhile since we talked and I just thought I'd reach out, say hi, see how you are doing...I am not sure why but I think about you from time to time, a lot. Anyway, Shaggy, you remember, he went up north to Portland for college and then randomly he ended up getting up an internship for NASA. Its true! You remember how he used to rail away about the government, all those conspiracy theories with NASA...Life is ironic, huh? He says that sometimes the best way to fight is by joining the ranks, or something like that. Ray joined some gay hippie commune, doing fine, me and Shaggy visited him a few times when he last visited. Thomas even visits him sometime, which is weird, because...well, they had a thing for awhile, I suspect. Yeah, random, huh? Anyway, he got married again, is living up in northern Idaho or something like that, and calls me almost every weekend railing against his wife...Feel like I'm going to have to go on a rescue mission to save him!! And, me, well, I got a job as a waiter at this local restaurant and I've been seeing someone new...”

Deborah gasped at that, unconsciously threw down the letter into her lap, picked her tea up, took a long sip, and wiped a tear from her eye. She picked the letter up again and although her eyes were wet with grief and resignation began to read again.

“I'm not sure where it is going, if its anything serious,” Matthew continued. “But she's a fun girl, her name is Denise, you'd like her, I think...I hope. So, what else? Yeah, James is still up in prison, heard he's doing fine, they got him on meds and he's seeing a therapist, that's what I heard. I guess Thomas visited him a few times, until he got married and moved. And, the coffee shop, well, I guess you were right when you predicted it would close...after the arrest and everything that happened, people didn't come in as much, I guess they didn't want to associate themselves with controversy or something, so we had to shut the place down...but the city, they tore the whole building down after they bought it...and you know what is going in there now, I've heard a fancy new restaurant. Wonder what the restaurant next door thinks of that! Like my city needs a new tourist trap...city improvement at its possible! Ha, ha, maybe I should try to get a job there! Anyway, that's pretty much all the updates up in these parts, what's new with you? Still in school? Please keep in touch. Much love, Matthew.”

Deborah put the letter gently in her lap, half noticing the tear stains where her wet fingers had smudged some of the words. She pushed any thought of what that sadness and regret could mean. She clasped her mug in both hands again and stared straight ahead, wanting to silence the thoughts swirling in her head, memories calling back to old times she wished she could forget. Times that were filled with joy and love but then shadowed with heartbreak, fear, agony, and painful good-byes.

It was if the times before that night at the bar when the police had been called and the gang of them had been ushered down to the station to be sequestered in separate rooms before James had been booked was the last time she felt truly happy and free. The times when her and her boys sat drinking their coffee, laughing over Shaggy's crazy conspiracy theories, commiserating over crazy exes, pontificating on the meaning of life and the possible existence of God, and all the while trying to figure themselves out and to find a sense of direction for this life were the last shred of her youth now gone in the painful memory of the realization that it hadn't exactly been true. That at least one of her companions, a man that she believed to have been her soul-mate and first love, had proven to be false, hiding a darkness that left her reeling with a sense of distrust ever since. And, now with the confirmation of the demise of the coffee shop, she felt even more a sense of loss, was there anything left for her to believe in this world? Was there anymore love, faith, connection to be found anywhere? She sipped her tea and let her eyes stray out the sliding glass door of her porch to the grey skies and waited...waited on a prayer and a wish for some answer to the darkness crowding into her neat little world.

Deborah woke with a start. She was in her bed, it was late at night and she thought she had heard something in her living room. Cautiously and quietly, she got out of bed without turning the light and moved down the hall. In the living room down the hall, she saw the blue light of the television. 'I must have just left it on, that's all,' she thought trying to calm and reassure herself. She moved with a little more determination and strength into the living room and stopped at the end of the hallway, frozen and speechless.

Before her, standing directly in front of the TV, was James.

“Deborah,” James said in a soft whisper. He opened his arms, inviting her to come to him. She stood, unable to move, stupefied and speechless.

“Are you really here?” She asked at last.

James smiled at her, understandingly.

“Remember I used to say to you, I'll meet you in my dreams tonight,” he explained reassuringly.

“You look like you used to look...so long ago,” was all Deborah could say as a sob caught itself in her throat.

“It's how you wanted to see me,” he said with a sad smile. And, the dam broke. Deborah collapsed onto the couch, sobbing.

Brokenly, she said, “Right here. You are still right here in my heart. Even after everything that happened, you are still right here. Even if I tried to forget you, I can't forget...that I love you. You once told me that I needed to find a love more than fire, bells, and whistles. I needed to just know that I am loved. With you, I have that, when its all said and done. Even when you are far away...I still know. But, there is still this loneliness because I can't see you---

James crossed over to her and sat by her side on the couch, not touching her. But, she felt him and it wasn't fear like she was used to, like she thought it would be. It was just as it had been before, she felt a sense of peace restoring itself to her life. She looked up at him then and their eyes met, studying each other, taking each other in again.

“When I look into your eyes, I see the reflection of my own soul,” James exclaimed with a contented sigh.

“I do too,” Deborah admitted. She looked down at her hands, twisting in her lap.

“What are you thinking about?” James wanted to know, placing his hand atop hers and gently stroking her fingers.

“Just thinking about...,” but Deborah couldn't go on. She looked down at their hands entwined with each others.

“Just say it,” James said. She looked up into his eyes and saw that he did truly know her thoughts.

“The old times, what life was like, how simple it was. I can still see it, in my mind, almost like I'm still there but its just starting to fade...the cafe. And you. And all of it. I don't want to let go but still...Thinking of what I wanted back then, the foolish young girl I was, trying to paint the picture of my life and love. The fairy-tale life, you know. And its just that...I'm angry, when it comes down to it. Angry at myself for believing in that, and not seeing. But, we can never really see. We only see what we want to, with rose-covered glasses. Its not black or white, bad or good. It just is. I'm angry at you because you left me and said you wouldn't. Couldn't,” She spoke quickly, letting all the years of pent-up emotion and unanswered questions full of doubt pour forth out of her.

James thought a moment and then soothed the hair out of her eyes.

“I still can't. Remember, "Love will last forever," was all he said.

“James!” Deborah exclaimed and turned away from him.

James laughed to himself and then said, “You know, I looked up the meaning of our names recently, in the library in jail. You know what my name means? Supplanter. But, your name, Deborah, means Honey Bee. And, your middle name, Ruth, means loyal friend.”

“So?” responded Deborah, glaring at him.

“You are a loyal friend that brings sweet things,” he explained at last. He smiled and pushed her hair out of her eyes again, stroking her hair down her back.

“Tell me what to do now...I'm tired of...fighting,” Deborah pleaded haltingly, tears began forming in her eyes.

“Me too. Deborah, my honey bee,” James agreed reassuringly. He took her hand. “I'm sorry that I never believed in you. Maybe there is one soul-mate for all of us, maybe there is more than one, pushing us to the great love. Who knows? I only know that, you have to go on and you will...without me.”

“But--”

James silenced her by placing their hands on her heart.

“Deborah, don't let me go, no matter what. I"ll be right here, always,” he soothed. “I'll live on forever in your heart, your eyes, your dreams. Write my story, our story. And, Cafe-Girl, I love you. And, good-bye.”

He leaned over and kissed her, sweetly, serenely, and for the last time. When she opened her eyes, he was gone. Deborah looked frantically around the room before she said out loud,

“Will I ever see you again?”

The rest of the night she barely slept but tossed and turned as she went over and over what had just transpired. What would the psychiatrists think of this? Would they call her crazy too? What would all the good little Christians friends of hers say? Would they call her demon-possessed?

The next morning she stumbled out of bed early, brain foggy more from the confusing jumble of unresolved emotions swarming up inside of her. She dressed quickly in warm outdoor clothes and laced up her hiking boots. Grabbing her backpack, she stuck her wallet, water-bottle, and journal inside of it. Out the door, she swung, keys in hand, down to her car. But she passed it and just started walking, heading to the nearest trail that would lead her outside of the cement confusion that was the town she currently resided.

She stopped at a local coffee shack and bought a cappuccino, hoping that the taste of that would quiet the painful memories. She kept walking when she found the trail as high and as far a she could go. After about twenty minutes, she stopped, catching her breath, and turned to face the city, awash with the morning sunrise of pinks and fresh yellows. It was a new day, could it be, at last? She looked around her, and suddenly realized she had no idea where she was or really how she had gotten there. Directly above her was a large rock. She climbed up to it and sat down, pulling her journal out of her backpack, rummaging around inside she located a pen. She turned the pages to find a blank page and stared hard down at it:

“So, what's the story about?” She asked aloud to the trees, plants, valley below. “A story of what...of too much caffeine?”

From somewhere far back in the reaches of her memory, she heard Thomas's voice echo through to her core:

“Seen you at the coffee shop, sometimes, Deborah.”

“Youth? The Golden Road?” Deborah asked, looking around to see if he had heard her. In response, she heard Ray's voice echoing back to her from the past:

“King of the lawn gnomes, they call me.”

She looked out over the city and screamed, imploringly:

“How does the story end? A story of a journey? Of friendship? Tell me please.”

She fell silent then as the next voice rang through her entire being shocking her completely.

Matthew said, “First snows are the best times for walks.”

She collapsed inside herself, wrote something in her journal, then read it aloud:

“A story of regrets? A story of the search for true love?”

“I'll meet you in my dreams tonight,” James responded as clear and present as the rock she sat upon and the birds awaking from their nightly revelries.

She wrote again in her journal and without thinking, read it aloud:

“A story of pain, or strength?”

She looked around, hoping for an answer from some place, someone.

“You're all right, yourself, Deborah,” came the reassuring answer from Matthew.

Again she scribbled in her journal, then spoke these words in a whisper:

“A story of hope, or nothing?”

“Live your life, Deborah, and be happy, no matter what, be that,” was Matthew's answer from the far away distant past.

She cocked her head and felt the wind push back her hair. For the first time, she realized she had been crying, so used to it she had become, with the wind touching the tears stained against her face.

“A story of truth?” she asked the universe or the city below her, hoping somehow for an answer.

“Never give up the fight,” Shaggy chimed in from far away in the distant past. She laughed out loud, then wrote in her journal, reading it as she wrote:

“A story of forgiveness, of letting go? a story of redemption? "I started going to a coffee shop recently, never thought I'd be a cafe girl, you know, but I always wanted to be....I just wish there was some book, something to explain and help navigate. I just wish it didn't hurt so bad. Endings."

She looked up from her journal, taking it all in and felt a presence beside her, on the right side. Turning, she saw no one, nothing. Then, came the voice of James:

“When I look into your eyes, I see the reflection of my own soul.”

She looked outward over the city and beyond, she sighed resolutely, at last beginning to understand. In her mind, she heard her boys that one night at the lithium fountain chanting:

“One of us, one of us, one of us!”

She smiled and whispered, “A story of love.”

She sat watching as the sun rose higher into the sky, watched as the city became alive with cars and people just starting their day, their lives afresh. Resolved, she put her journal into her backpack and stood up, looking around her. She remembered that she didn't really know where she was or how to get back. Reflecting back, she remembered all those hikes with them, her boys from the cafe, how she always trusted that no matter how high and how far, they'd get her home. She shivered because now she was alone, all alone. With as much determination as she could muster, she hopped off the rock and began cautiously heading down the mountain, hoping to come out near where she could make herself home.

As she made her way down the mountain, the path became more and more clear to her, she was going in the right direction. The laughter of hikes long ago echoed back to her and kept her moving forward. Pushing through a low hung bush, she emerged outward on the street and before her was the street leading to the little coffee shack and her apartment beyond.

“Oh,” she exclaimed. She had done it, she had made it back home and all by herself. With a sudden relish and revelation, she understood that this was all they had ever wanted for her. To be herself, to be brave, to be unabashedly fully alive and true to herself, without apology. It was then that she knew what she must do and do quickly.

It took awhile, the drive backwards into time always did. She made it back into her old town where it all had happened in mid afternoon. Checking into her hotel, she dropped her bags on the bed and sat with a thud beside them, hugging her knees to her chest. Was she really going to go through with this? Was it, in fact, at all a possibility? Was this really how it would end? She picked up her phone and willed herself to dial but then set it back down on the bed.

The rest of the day and into the night she wondered aimlessly through the town, looking into the store windows, into the faces of tourists and the locals as the darkness descended both outwardly and inwardly. As her stomach began to grumble with hunger pains, she realized how lonely she in fact was.

She found herself quickly entering into the town bookstore and noticed the lights of the coffee shop upstairs still lit. She hurried up the stairs in search of a bite or a drink or...maybe. When she reached the top of the stairs, she stood motionless in the doorway. Directly across from her, he entered the coffee shop from the other entrance, stopped, and stared at her.

Without seeing anyone else, they crossed to face each other, not taking their eyes off of each other.

“What can I do for you?” he asked, breaking the still silence.

“I think I'll have a cappuccino if..,” she began.

“If?”

“If only you would read my fortune please,” she said laughing. They moved over to the counter and she ordered her cappuccino from the much younger barista (she realized). Matthew flung down some money on the counter before she could get her card and said, “Make that two please!”

“So---” they both said at once. Matthew nodded for her to continue politely.

“You from around here?” She joked.

“Yeah, I'm a townie,” He chided her.

“Ah, my first townie!” She played along.

“Yeah,” he said, suddenly serious. “Yeah, I was.”

The barista took the money, handed back the change, and deposited their cappuccinos onto the counter before them.

Deborah looked into her drink and then up at Matthew, teasingly.

“Well?”

He looked down at her drink and smiled, “Well, looks like you are in need of a walk--”

“It looks like snow,” Deborah noted musingly.

“Its the first snow,” Matthew informed her.

“First snows are the best time for walks, or so I have heard,” Deborah smiled back.

They crossed down to the exit that Matthew had entered in previously and out into the inky darkness descending onto the town. Deborah reflected that she felt a lightness that she hadn't felt for a very long time. They walked beside each other quietly through the city, into the park, the snow starting to fall softly in drifts around them, sticking to their hair, their clothes, the ground beneath them.

In the park, their shoes crunched gravel thrown down to ensure the safety of pedestrian travelers. They kept walking side by side, Deborah looking up and all around her, a calm sense of peace erupting throughout her whole being. They stopped by the creek and looked down over the rushing cascading water, the fullness of the winter river healthy with the fall of rain and snow. Deborah breathed it all in, looked at him, released everything. His piercingly warm blue eyes caught hers and she saw for the first time:

“Sometimes you fall in love at first sight, sometimes it takes awhile.”

Falling In Love at a Coffee Shop

Cafe-Girl: A Girl Conquers World Novella

Deborah leaned back and stared up at the starry sky above her, the chattering voices of those around her mingled with the light breeze. Her eyes started to blink closed, slowly then assuredly shut themselves. She found herself drifting, drifting above herself, her body floating above and outside herself. Looking down, she saw herself and her friends about her, talking in the idle chatter of drunken mirth of close friends, but she floated above, flying higher and higher until her friends, the crow's nest, the bar itself, were a dark memory firmly below on the earth's surface. Suddenly, she found herself in the upper stratosphere, surrounded by the inky night and star lights, floating, floating like a magical carpet softly through the air. Slowly, and without warning, her body began to drift downward, then picking up speed she shot towards a small house on the outskirts of town. Downward she flew, fear overtook her as she found herself plummeting faster and faster towards the roof of the house. She screamed an echoless scream, searching for ways to stop herself, save herself. Suddenly, the roof was upon her and she braced for impact, her life and all that it was flashed before her as she prayed to a God she hoped existed that she would be saved, rescued, or even taken up to heaven, if it too existed.

As she came upon the roof, she inhaled nervously but then found herself carefully and mysteriously drifting through the roof, the attic, the pink gooey inner lining of the wall, and came out clean and fresh upon the floor of a small living room, filled with boxes, self-painted art work, a tattered and worn couch, an older TV set, and music station. She stood righting herself and looking around anxiously, trying to figure out where she was, how she had got there, and preparing for herself for what could happen next. Looking around, she saw a small bookcase, filled to the brim with books of various sizes and shapes, pushed here and there inside of it. On the top was a picture frame, Deborah moved towards it and picked it up, examining it. There were two people pictured, one she saw was James whose arms wrapped around the girl from her dreams...

“Eve,” whispered Deborah. Light footsteps sounded behind her and a soft voice spoke.

“Yes, its me,” and Deborah turned and faced a girl that looked so much like herself. The girl from her dreams and her visions, standing before her fully formed and fully alive.

“But, you're dead, I thought,” Deborah shook her head in confusion.

“This is only the moment before,” Eve explained.

“The moment before...,” Deborah echoed.

“Yes, it is about to happen, you'll see it all, just like I told you,” Eve explained. “These are my last moments of being alive.”

Eve moved close to Deborah, who could smell her sweet aroma wafting over towards her. Eve brushed Deborah's hair back from her eyes and leaned in close.

She whispered, “Never give up the fight and always remember, I believe in you.”

Eve kissed her on the forehead just as the door pounded behind her. Eve pulled back, looked deep into Deborah's eyes, horror filled her eyes. Deborah felt that horror in her heart. She gripped Eve's wrist tight and whispered back,

“Be strong, I'm with you.”

The door swung open and in the frame stood James, an angry frown across his face, his eyes burning with rage. Deborah gasped, she had never seen him like this nor thought he could ever have been like this, so sweet and gentle he had always been. James moved into the room and scowled at Eve. His eyes flickered over at the bookshelf, Deborah froze in terror at his angry glare, but he seemed to look through her, unseeing. She was invisible to him then, she realized, not here in his perspective. This was something that had happened already, a moment in the past...

“Um, you want to sit? You want a drink or something?” Eve was saying, somewhere in the distance.

“No,” he said gruffly and stared at her hard. She sat on the edge of the sofa and sighed heavily.

“James, I have something to tell you,” she began slowly. He continued staring at her, trying to read her thoughts and to her it felt like he was trying to intimidate her.

“Yeah?” he said at last.

“The paperwork came back from the DA's office,” she began and sighed again. “Um, its official.”

“Aha,” he said, nodding. “You happy?”

“Not really, I mean,” was all she said and stared hard at the ground. Absentmindedly, her hand reached up to her neck and she fingered a necklace. He saw a glint of silver hanging from the chain and then recognized what it was, their wedding rings hanging side by side. He grunted at that. She looked up at him, smiling sadly, he thought, mockingly. Then, she unclasped the chain from around her neck and held the necklace out to him, the rings dangled off the chain between them, somewhat symbolically. “Maybe you should have this.”

She stood holding it out to him and he stared at her, penetrating her with his eyes. He moved towards her slowly, slowly, slowly. She inhaled hard and held her breath, then released it, as if gasping for air.

Deborah's eyes grew wide with terror, watching as James snatched the necklace with the two rings away from Eve's outstretched hand and moved towards her. He leaned over her on the couch, the necklace dangling in one hand.

“I'll give you something to be sorry about,” he began, his fist clenched towards her. Eve screamed silently, raising her hands to her face in fear. He pulled her arms away from her face and held the necklace up to her eyes. “You want this? Come on, wear it, bitch.”

He wrapped the chain around Eve's neck and pulled. Eve gasped, clutching the air for oxygen, her eyes bursting from her face. He shoved a knee into her stomach and pushed her down on the couch, all the while pulling harder and harder. Unthinking, Deborah moved to the couch, behind James, and screamed for him to stop.

“James, stop it, don't do this, James!” She grabbed at his arm and felt it move through his skin, through the muscles, sinews, veins, arteries, bones. She pulled back in shock over the sensation and realization that she could no nothing, that there was nothing she could do to save Eve, it had already happened.

James dropped Eve's lifeless body onto the couch, pulling the chain from around her neck, and turned to face Deborah, not seeing her. He held up the chain in front of his face, scanned it wordlessly and without emotion, then placed it around his neck, quickly clasping it. He stepped forward, passing through Deborah. She felt a coldness and an emptiness she had never imagined existed, especially from someone she loved so much. He hesitated at the door, as if he too had felt something, but then he opened the door, letting the cold, harsh sunlight of November spill into the house, before slamming it shut behind him.

Deborah looked down at Eve's body, wilted against the fabric of the couch. A tear escaped from her eyes and a muffled sob from her throat. Then, slowly she began ascending upwards, back through the roof, up into the starry sky, then down into her body laying prostate on the deck of the crow's nest at the bar, her friends gathered around her nervously calling her name over and over.

Her eyes flickered open to see the faces of Matthew, Shaggy, Thomas, Ray, and James framed around her.

“Deborah, Deborah,” Matthew was saying and she was touched by the concern in his voice. If only, she thought to herself but couldn't find the rest of the thought to follow only a sense of loss and longing mingled together. James face swam into view and she bit her lip to restrain from screaming, panic rising to the forefront of her brain, pushing away the sense of comfort that Matthew exuded. A chain dangled from his neck catching the moonlight, two rings fell across his chest. Deborah saw and remembered. With horror, she pushed James away and panicking cried, “Matthew, Matthew, where are you? I need you.”

Matthew pushed the others aside and reached for her, pulling her into his arms. She collapsed into them and frantically whispered,

“Call the police, I know who did it.”

November Rain

Cafe-Girl: A Girl Conquers World Novella

Deborah sat in the dark between Matthew and James, the irony not lost on her. The words left silent hung thickly in the air between them. It was her choice, then, she realized, always her choice. But there they sat, waiting for the silence to be distilled in some fashion. Deborah took a deep breath, exhaled, and turned her attention to James. Was this a pattern forming? Why did she feel such a pull to James that distracted her from any other aspect of her life? This all consuming force that drove her to reach out to him, endlessly longing, endlessly being refuted.

“Hey,” was all she said. He turned towards her, a warm smile spread across his face but pain deeply embedded in his eyes.

“Hey,” was his response. Deborah inhaled again, swept away in her heart by the magic pull of his eyes, understanding her completely.

“So, I have been having these dreams, like the other night,” she began. James nodded for her to continue. “And, I think I figured out who that girl is, the translucent one in the dream.”

She hesitated, waiting for his response, for him to give her anything. Distracted, she went on,

“I was at church the other day with Mari and I passed out during the worship part of it, the singing part. I had this experience, like a trance, and the girl came to me, then and there and...”

She fell silent, the rest of the sentence hung in the air, waiting to be spoken.

“Yeah, what did she say, what did she want?” James encouraged her.

“Yeah, so, I think that...I think that the girl is...is Eve,” Deborah said, nervously. Then, she bit her lip, waiting for James' response.

“Really?” was all he could say.

“I mean, I don't know really, because I never really met her in life but the thing is, it was pretty convincing in the dream and you know, she looked kind of a lot like me, so...,” Deborah tried to explain, hoping for some answer to break forth.

“Yeah, you guys do kind of,” James mused. Silence descended between them again, awkwardly. Finally, he looked over at her, deeply focusing in on her eyes, hypnotizing her. “So, what did she want? Why is she visiting you?”

“I don't really know the answer for that,” Deborah began. “But she did say that she wanted me to find her killer and that...I don't know, she showed me something but I can't remember really all of it right now.”

“Huh,” was all James would say. He turned away from her then, lost in his own thoughts, and sipped his Guinness. Deborah hesitated and turned towards Matthew. The light from the streetlamp above them hit his red hair and gave him a halo effect, a magical aura hung about him. She caught her breath in her throat, uncertain of what to say, uncertain of her feelings. She released her breath, steadied herself and said,

“Matthew,”she said, catching his attention. He turned to her, smiling slightly, his eyes open and free.

“Yeah,” he said, completely open to her then, always open to her, always would be.

“Look, I just wanted to apologize about what happened with---”

“Yeah, its okay,” Matthew interrupted her.

“Really?” Deborah was confused.

“Yeah, I thought about it and it was kind of inevitable between you two, there is something you two have that we never did, so I get it,” Matthew tried to explain.

“Are you okay?” Deborah wanted to know, touching his arm. Matthew took her hand in his.

“I will be,” he said holding her hand in both of his. “Live your life, Deborah, and be happy, no matter what, be that.”

Deborah smiled at him gratefully and he kissed her fingers, then released her hand.

“I will be,” Deborah said, catching his eyes. “Thank you, Matthew.”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y2SfmcNg8js

Cafe-Girl: A Girl Conquers World Novella

Matthew froze as he saw Deborah cross the street towards them, then girded himself against any impending emotional outcry. She stood at the bottom of the stairs of the patio, looking up at them, questions uncertain in her eyes. James stood at the top of the stairs looking down at her and Matthew sat behind him, watching. They all waited, the tension of raw emotion and something akin to love, hung in the air. At last, Deborah took a long breath and said,

“I'm not here to fight or rub salt in any one's wounds, I'm here because...because I can't stay away...from...any of you. I realize now that we are...we are...family, I guess, yeah. And, I'm here, and unless you tell me too, I'm never leaving you. So...?”

She waited then, looking over each of their faces, imploring, begging, for some reaction, some hopeful answer of acceptance. She looked over the rugged face of Shaggy, his floppy brown hair falling in his eyes, eyes peering out at her with amusement at this spectacle, she looked over at Ray, his long red dreads criss-crossing down his back under his snow-cap, at Thomas, buttoned up in his suit for work, his eyes darting back and forth cautiously between James and Matthew, at James, whose eyes, as usual, bore into her soul, searchingly, and then, finally, hesitatingly at Matthew, whose blue eyes, full of emotional longing and sadness, would not look into hers. Finally, Shaggy, looking around at all of them, shrugged and said,

“Well, its fine with me, but you've got to be initiated, that's all.”

“Initiated?” came Deborah's reply, full of curiosity about what that initiation could in fact be.

“Yeah, down at the plaza, there is the Lithium fountains,” Shaggy began to explain. “Let's all go down there and you'll have to drink from it.”

“Um, I've done it before,” but no one answered. Shaggy and Ray jumped up with enthusiasm, Ray not just because of the lithium drinking event but because of the prospect of heading to the convenient store for some alcoholic beverage. Thomas eyeing James and Matthew for some sort of response got up to follow them. James headed down the stairs towards Deborah, taking her in his arms, he whispered,

“Let's just be friends, I guess, all right?”

Deborah nodded, pinching back the tears in her eyes, as she hugged and released him from her grasp. He turned and followed Shaggy up the hill. Lastly, Matthew got up and crossed down to her, looking her over tentatively,but not catching her eyes. He passed by her and only said,

“Come on then.”

She followed them, as usual, letting them lead, up the hill towards the town plaza.

The plaza small and centered in the middle of town was in possession of two types of water fountains. One full of regular clean water and the other full of lithium water which flowed down from the mountains surrounding the water. The five boys and the one girl approached this particular fountain. Deborah walked up to one spignot and turned to them.

“Its not like I haven't tried,” she began to explain. Shaggy waved her off, with “Just drink!”

She put her lips to the fountain, pressed the button, and the salty water flowed into her mouth. She took a big gulp down, then felt the familiar gagging response. Her five boys gathered around her and began to chant.

“One of us, one of us, one of us,” they continued until she could take it no longer. The water came out in spurts as she burst into laughter.

“Well, all right then, I'm one of the gang now,” was all she could say between her giggles. The others laughed, even Matthew, found some enjoyment in that. Perhaps a friendship could emerge between he and Deborah after all, after the effects of the heartbreak were lessened through time. Perhaps. Although at this moment, he felt that he would never cease to have this longing for her, this ache for her touch once more full of curiosity and desire for more. “Now what?” she was asking to the group of them.

“Now we drink,” Shaggy began and Ray coupled it with, “Here, here!”

“In celebration,” Shaggy continued not noticing Ray's response. They moved, then, down the street to the local bar and grill, to their usual perch, the bird's nest view, of the rest of the deck and bar. Clutching their Guinness's, wine, and gin and tonics respectively, they drank, rolled cigarettes, and let the night's darkness envelope them in the warmth of youthful exuberance and friendship.

Cafe-Girl: A Girl Conquers World Novella

Mari bounced out of her front door and skipped over to Deborah's car, opening the door with a flourish and plopping down in the passenger seat.

“Isn't it a great day to worship the Lord?” exclaimed Mari. Deborah winced out a smile. She knew partly that Mari's enthusiasm for church was that she was going to see Eddie, the worship leader and Mari's knew potential amore. “He's so godly,” Mari had explained to Deborah. “Such a true seeker.” This was all code for “He'd make the perfect husband.”

Deborah pulled out of the parking lot of Mari's apartment complex and headed down the street in the direction of the mega-church where Mari attended.

At the church, she drove around the parking lot in search of the perfect spot and pulled in to park. Mari jumped out, seeing some friends of hers, and bounded over Bible under her arm, exclaiming, “Hi!” with such enthusiasm even Deborah felt swept away by the spiritual fervor, whether or not it was founded in truth was to be known only by Mari.

In the church, Mari and Deborah moved down the pews, in search of the right position. They chose a pew towards the front, the right position to be noticed by Eddie but not to be too conspicuous. As the worship music began to play, Deborah found her mind wandering. Hands went up around her as eyes closed and voices began singing in unison and off-key. Some people around her fell to their knees, their hands above their heads, and tears streaming down her face. Deborah closed her eyes, in order to look spiritual and not to stick out too much, also to try to maintain her thoughts in some fashion. As the music poured itself around her, she found herself falling, falling into some sort of sleep. A sort of trance came upon her. Opening her eyes, the rest of the church came to a stand-still, completely motionless, still and quiet. White rose petals began to fall from above and descended upon the church floor, the singers, the band. No one seemed to notice as they were completely motionless and lost in their own little worlds. Deborah felt as if she had come into another plane of existence. She looked around frantically at the other faces, waving her hands in front of them, trying to wake them, to find her way back. Then suddenly from the back, walking through the pews towards her came...

Eve.

A shock, a small scream came out of Deborah's mouth before she could contain herself. She stood, wanting to run, but found her feet unable to move herself. She waited because there was nothing more to do.

Eve made her way to Deborah and stood in front of her, looking deep within her eyes. She noticed the chain necklace around her neck and two silver rings attached to it.

“Look into my eyes,” Eve was saying and her voice rang out in a song similar to the chords being played on the other plane in the church. “Look into my eyes and you will understand.”

Deborah looked and she saw...herself. She saw an understanding between herself and this girl before her. This girl who had gone on to another world suddenly became more and more like herself, like Deborah. She saw the resemblance and a shudder went through her. Is that why James had turned to her in his hour of need, because she reminded him so much of his ex-wife, of Eve? Had those words of love he had expressed to her ever really been true? In Eve's eyes came another thought that she was directing into Deborah's consciousness. Deborah sought to understand, to grasp, and then she saw, it was a warning of some sort. Of what she could not yet comprehend.

Eve took the necklace from around her neck and held it out to Deborah. She looked within Deborah's eyes and spoke into her mind.

“Look at this,” she was saying from her mind. “Examine it completely and remember.”

Deborah spoke internally, “Why?” But, she looked at the details of the necklace. The two silver sings hanging side by side, meant love and loss at once. The chain was a simple silver one, something like you could find at a drug store yet still somehow beautiful, maybe made all the more so by Eve herself. But Eve did not respond either mentally or verbally. Instead she started to fade.

“Come back,” Deborah was calling, louder and louder, as Eve started to fade and float away. And, then suddenly hands were upon her, voices from far away. “Deborah, Deborah,” they were calling.

She descended down into her body and her eyes opened. She was laying on the church floor, looking up at the surrounding faces of the other church-goers. Mari was bending over her.

“Deborah, oh my god, are you okay?” she was asking, her voice full of concern and fear.

Deborah shook her head to wake herself and tried to sit up.

“You passed out,” a man was saying.

“I'm fine,” Deborah said and tried to right herself. “I'll be fine, just maybe some water. I'm just really tired.”

The parishioners helped her to her seat and someone ran off to the back to get her the water. Mari put her arm around her friend's shoulder and rubbed her neck.

“You scared me,” she whispered into Deborah's ear.

Deborah patted her friend's arm and leaned back against the pew, silent in her own thoughts. The necklace? She felt like she had seen that, in real life, not just in dreams. But the pastor was starting to talk.

“For God so loved the world that he gave,” his voice began and started to drone on and on into more and more biblical scriptures and his own interpretations of them. But that one line “For God so loved the world that he gave”, kept running itself over and over in mind and all of a sudden all this church talk made a bit of sense. It was about love then, what this world needed, what she needed, it was all about love. And love was, is, God and God is love. It was that simple. She felt a peace descend upon her and a smile stretched across her face, for the first time in days she felt calm and rested, as if she knew everything was going to work out for good, strangely that was similar to a verse the pastor was quoting at the time. She closed her eyes in a silent repose, maybe there was something in this Christianity thing after all, maybe.

The pastor closed the sermon with a prayer and closed his bible. The parishioners started filing themselves out into the foyer and out in the church. Deborah felt lighter than she had in days and she also felt a new sense of purpose and drive. She would be led where she needed to go, given what she needed at the right moment. She just needed to trust in this love to keep her going, to guide her, no matter what, always that.

She dropped Mari off at her apartment and turned her car towards the coffee shop. It had been over a week since she'd entered that building, since the break-up with Matthew. She needed to see him, James, and the rest and to find a way to bring peace to the whole situation.

About a block away from the coffee shop, she parked and sat, trying to catch her breath and steady her racing heartbeat, her hands gripping the steering wheel. Slowly, deliberately, she opened the car door and locked it behind her. Crossing the street, she made her way up the hill towards the familiar coffee shop that was fast becoming like a second home to her.

And, there they all were: Matthew, Shaggy, Thomas, Ray, even James sitting on the patio, smoking their cigarettes, and sipping their coffee, as if nothing had changed. She held her breath and took in that sight, caught it up inside her memory and stored it deep within her heart. Later on, it would become a sweet memory that would strengthen her throughout her later life's darkest hours, these five guys were the truest of companions, a friendship deeper than what was visible to the eye, a connection eternal, this moment and this time was theirs, a season outside the rest of their existence. She crossed the street to them, her coffee boys.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F7zAPJyUSMc

Cafe-Girl: A Girl Conquers World Novella

Deborah pulled into Mari's driveway and stared straight ahead, waiting for her friend to emerge from her two-story townhouse. Her friend was probably still busy inside getting herself dressed and in her best finery for church, for husband hunting as it were, and not at all ready to go as Deborah had hoped. Deborah just wanted to get this over with, not in the least because it was a church service, but because a thick fog of depression had descended on her since her break-up with Matthew. In addition to that, James had not called her in a few days since their last encounter and she was beginning to wonder if she had been used for some sort of emotional rebound from the loss of Eve. Raindrops started to fall on her windshield, slowly then faster, droplets of water pounding on the glass like the pounding of her heart against her beaten soul.

Across town, James sat in Sandra's apartment. He'd been there for the last week, at least, and had enjoyed it for the most part. The sex was good, the pot was chill, he could kick back and be himself with Sandra, no strings attached. The kids were decent and for the most part stuck to themselves. None of them seemed to realize what was going on with him and his mother, with their father in the guest bedroom. They hadn't really been able to figure out as yet what an “open relationship” entitled and where their parents relationship was headed. Maybe Sandra and her husband, Sam, weren't sure about that either, but to James, it did not matter. Or it shouldn't. He couldn't stop thinking about Deborah and of course any sort of enjoyment to be had that week had been clouded by this whole business of Eve. He had purposely not gone back to his house, he shared with his friend, Tony, in order to distract himself from the reality of it all. The police had asked him when he had last seen Eve and he honestly could not remember. He said that she had called him to come over a few days ago but as far as he could remember he hadn't gone. No reason, he had said, she was always after him for something and as far as he was concerned the marriage and relationship was completely over. And, Barbara the other barista had confirmed that he was at the coffee shop the entire time. It all seemed so hazy though, his life recently, he felt like he had moments that were complete black outs. Maybe he was smoking too much pot, maybe that was all it was. And Deborah? The night they had shared together, had it been just another way to distract himself from the murder and the loss or had it been the start of something beautiful? Had it happened at another time, when things weren't so complicated, would they have a chance? He felt bad for basically snatching her away from Matthew and he wanted to at least try and make things right with him. Maybe, maybe, at least try to explain. He sat there trying to find the words to explain to Matthew what had happened that night, how he had been in sucha fog that he hadn't really known what he was doing, and Deborah was there, so sweet, smelling so nice, so attentive to his every need, hanging on every word...and he had felt pulled to her days before. Sandra sat down on the couch beside him and the cushions bounced. She smiled at him, seductively, and handed him the pipe. He took it from her, touching her hand softly and slowly as he did so. Pressing the pipe to his lips and lighting it, he hoped this was just yet another way to distract him from all his dark thoughts.

Cafe-Girl: A Girl Conquers World Novella

Deborah stumbled home from the coffee shop, as the rain started to fall mixing with the salty tears falling down her face. She had made such a mess of things with all this love business. In one hand, she cared deeply for Matthew and had enjoyed their times together. But still, she felt this strange force of nature pulling her towards James, more and more. If there was such a thing as past lives, she and James had definitely known each other from before. That was the only way she could explain it to herself and to Mari, who was aghast with horror at the fact that Deborah had cheated on Matthew with James, of all people: the one they had nicknamed together “Scary Dark Boy”. Still, Deborah felt torn between the two of them, even now, after consummating some sort of an affair with James. At times, she saw herself spending her life happily with Matthew, a life spent together quiet and safe. At other times, the fiery presence of James stirred her creative side with a lust for adventure and darkness. She could never really decide though.

She moved into her bedroom, giving a slight nod to her room-mate who was in the living room watching TV and barely noticed her. Closing her bedroom door with a solid click behind her, she sat hard on her bed and stared straight ahead. The tears began to fall down her face in earnest. If only Eve had not been killed, if only she hadn't slept with James, life and love were getting so complicated. Maybe it was as easy as her Christian friends believed it to be, “Just give your heart to Jesus and you'll have peace.” She had given that her best try though, but still she felt an emptiness resounding inside of her. Emptiness that went on forever and that she couldn't quite find a way to appease. Maybe that's why she found herself falling for the trap of being nurse-maid to broken boys. James was certainly in that category, even before Eve was killed. And Matthew...a shattered heart from giving it to girl-friends of the past who could not share his open affectionate nature, who took advantage in one way or another. But, what about her? Who was there when she needed them?

She laid back on her unmade bed, the quilt made by her grandmother in rumples around her. The tears slid down her cheeks and onto her pillows and bedsheets. Crying softly, she felt herself slipping further and further into unconsciousness until suddenly before her standing was the beautiful girl from last night's dream, only now she wasn't as translucent. This girl was beautiful and bore a striking resemblance to herself. She slowly sat up in bed and stared dumbfoundedly.

“Release all of it,” said the girl. Deborah's jaw dropped open.

“You can speak?” was all she could say amazedly.

“Yes, yes I can,” the girl smiled softly, as if she shared a delicious secret with herself. “Until recently, I was a lot like you, very much in fact.”

“How so?” Deborah blurted out. The girl smiled mysteriously at her in response. “Who are you anyway? What's your name?”

“You know my name,” the girl responded. “You have heard a lot about me recently. A lot.”

Deborah's mind raced and she blinked, then looked aghast at the girl before her.

“Are you...are you...Eve?” she asked amazedly. “But, you're dead...or...”

“Yes, I am Eve,” the girl confirmed. “And, yes, you are right about that.”

“But then, how...why?” was all Deborah could say.

“I've come to you in a dream, Deborah,” Eve explained. “I need your help. They all need your help.”

“My help? But how? Why? And whose they?”

“Because...you are the only one that truly understands me, understands all of us,” Eve went on. “And they...why, the boys, of course.”

“What do I have to do?” Deborah asked without thinking.

Eve unclasped a necklace from around her neck and held it out to Deborah.

“Do you see this necklace?” Eve asked and Deborah nodded slowly, taking it all in. “Yes, take a good look at it. You find this, you'll know my killer.”

Eve returned the necklace to her neck, then turned slowly towards the door, readying herself to leave, not just this room but the planet itself.

“Wait, where are you...”, Deborah tried to stop her. Eve disappeared through the door silently. Deborah's eyes started to blink open and she found herself laying flat on her back, the afternoon had slipped into evening as she slept. “Going,” was all she said as she awoke. Her voice sounded hollow and lonely in the approaching dusk.

Deborah sat up in bed and looked out her small window, remembering the previous night with James. Her mind thought over the dream she had just had, wondering if it meant anything or was it just some crazy imagination of hers gone wild? She wondered if she should tell James about the dream, about seeing Eve. Was the girl even Eve or just what she imagined Eve to look like? She had never met Eve while was alive and had only really heard about her after her death. If it was truly Eve then, why was Deborah being chosen in this way, visited by Eve in her dreams?

Cafe-Girl: A Girl Conquers World Novella

At the bar, they moved to the exterior deck, up to the highest point, the crow's nest they called it. The dark night set in, drinks were ordered. James sat with Deborah close by, taking large gulps of his guiness to her gentle sips of red wine. Underneath the table, they held hands, Deborah's thumb rubbing over James' hand. Matthew sat across the table, pulling drags on his cigarette and barely touching his gin and tonic. He stared longingly and angrily over at Deborah and James. What the hell? I mean, he knew that the loss of Eve was devastating to James but all this attention she was giving him seemed to be surpassing what was needed for consolation. He noticed James leaning in and whispering into Deborah's ear, then found it strange when he, James, would turn his head slightly and look directly into Matthew's eyes. It felt almost underhanded, as if James was using his grief-stricken state to bed Deborah and take her directly out of Matthew's grasp.

Deborah got up and moved over to Matthew. She touched his shoulder lightly, then bent down and kissed him softly and chastely on the cheek.

“I think I'm gonna take off for the night,” she whispered into his ear. “I'll call you tomorrow.”

He looked at her, searching her eyes desperately, pleading for her to stay, to tell him the truth, was she really going home? Was she in fact going off with...after everything that had happened, what they had shared, she would just throw it away? He shook those thoughts off, he could not control her choices. And, although his heart was starting to break, he nodded and raised himself to her lips, kissed her sweetly and passionately a good night and farewell. She skipped down the stairs, through the bar, and out into the parking lot as she made her way the few blocks to the house with the room she rented. A few minutes later, James drained his drink and stood up, nodding around to his friends.

“I gotta get home,” he explained. “Jut gotta process this, you know.”

Matthew stared him down but due to the growing darkness this opposition was lost to James, who seemed lost in the energy of his own mind, the thoughts racing from the loss of Eve to the connection he was feeling from Deborah. James passed Matthew, only giving him a slight nod of acknowledging a good-night, not wanting to spend too much time with idle chitchat unless guilt would overtake him or something like that would dissuade him from the mission on his mind.

Out on the street, James turned his mind and his body towards the house where Deborah lived. He moved quickly, taking longer strides than he normally did, even though his walk was fast to begin with. At her house, he peeked into her bedroom window and wrapped against the window pane. Her beautiful, sweet face peeked out into the darkness and smiled at him. She opened her window and leaned outwards.

“Can I help you?” she asked sweetly and flirtatiously, bating him.

“Yeah, can I come in?” came his reply. She cocked her head to one side and studied him, then answered with,

“You know, I really really shouldn't but--”

“But?” James was trying to draw her out, bating her while holding his breath with anticipation.

“I feel strangely pulled to you is all,” Deborah answered thoughtfully. “And it has nothing to do with...what happened today, but if I'm perfectly honest, I've been feeling it for awhile.”

James smiled mysteriously into her eyes and nodded.

“Yeah, me too,” was all he gave. She leaned farther out the window and looked deeply into his eyes.

“I know that I shouldn't, it's really not fair to Matthew or...but James, could you, would you, kiss me...just once?”

She closed her eyes and breathed out, as if in a prayer. And waited. Then, she felt the soft lips of James press against hers. She parted her lips and allowed his tongue to enter her mouth. In that way, they stood, time froze, the rest of the world faded away, and it was just them, only the two of them. Everything else that had happened before or would happen was non-existant. All that mattered was each other.

Finally, Deborah pulled away slowly and smiled at him.

“I'll meet you at the front door,” she pulled herself in and closed the window, moving down the hall towards the front door. He stood outside, shivering not just from the cold but from anticipation. Was this some kind of sandbag against the impending deluge of the complete loss of Eve or was this truly in fact real love? James shook it from his head and focused entirely on the here and now. Deborah opened the door to him and he entered. She took his head and led him towards her bedroom, opening the door and pulling him inside. He pulled her into his arms and kissed her passionately, letting his hands explore her body. She groaned and backed herself against the bed, collapsing backwards onto it as he fell on top of her. And due to her compliance her, he took her, completely.

In the dark together they lay in her bed. He stroked the softness of her back and moved the hair from her face.

“What are you thinking about?” James asked.

“Just about us...and what I'm going to tell Matthew,” was all she could say, stifling back a sob.

“Well, he can't mess with fate after all,” James tried to reassure her.

“Do you believe in that? Fate? What about destiny?”

“Yeah, yeah, of course,” he said.

“What's the difference? Between fate and destiny, I mean?” Deborah asked pushing herself to her elbows and looking down at him.

“Fate is the journey and destiny is the final destination,” James said slowly, allowing his words to make their emphasis. Deborah looked down at him, thoughtfully.

“I like that,” was all she would say. He pulled her down to him again.

“Now just relax,” he said. “Tonight we'll be together, just us, tomorrow we'll deal with everything else. The world is ours tonight, only ours.”

Deborah closed her eyes and she started drifting downward into dreamland. She found herself in some kind of in between place, between heaven and earth, a mist like fog covered the land and towards her came a bright yet translucent woman came towards her. It stood before her, floating above her. Its lips moved to scream, to garner her attention. Deborah called out, “What? What is it? Who are you? What do you want?” The translucent girl's face frowned, she looked beyond Deborah and fear overtook her face. Deborah turned around but saw only the misty landscape and nothing more.

“There's nothing to be afraid of,” Deborah said reassuringly, turning back around. But, she was gone. The translucent girl was suddenly and completely gone.

Deborah woke with a start, trying to catch her breath. The moonlight streamed through the window, fell on her face. She looked about the room, for some explanation, at her room shrouded in semi-darkness with the moonlight falling ghostly on the surfaces of the objects in her room. Perhaps that was the cause of the translucent apparation in her dreams. She shuddered, looked down at James, and he stirred. Blinking his eyes, he woke up and stared up at her. Her face aglow in the moonlight.

“What's wrong? Why are you awake?” he said full of sudden shock, as if awakened from a dream that was fast turning into a nightmare.

“I had this dream, a crazy dream,” was all Deborah could say. James sat up and studied the girl next to him, waiting. “There was this girl, an apparation, not complete, like a ghost or...I don't know...and she was trying to tell me something, a warning, maybe, I don't know, some truth.”

There was complete silence as James took that in, studying every facet of her face. He waited for some bit of reason, or spiritual insight to come into his foggy, sleepy mind, something to say to appease her, distract her, maybe.

“Sounds like you had a visitation, is all,” he finally said.

“A visitation? What is that?” Deborah wanted to know, gasping.

“A visitation, someone from beyond this world visits us in the dream world,” James explained.

“Why?” Deborah asked furtively.

“Something they need to say, some truth they need to express, something they never got to say in their lifetime,” James answered.

“But then who is this person?” Deborah inquired, more to herself and to the heavens.

“Who knows?” James tried to reassure her, unaware of her true feelings. “Someone from your past, someone you know who has past on...”

“I don't really know anyone from my life that has died,” explained Deborah. They elapsed into silence, the moonlight enveloping them in mysterious wonder.

The next day, Deborah walked into the coffee shop, ready to face Matthew. He stared at her across the counter, stone-faced. He knew before she even could speak a word.

“Matt, I--” she started to say.

“He came over last night, didn't he? After you guys left the bar?” Matthew blurted out. Deborah stared down at the counter, not sure what to say. “Answer me, Deborah.”

Deborah looked up at him, her eyes met his, then she quickly looked away.

“Oh, all right, I see,” Matthew started. “You can't say anything, can you?”

“I don't know how to explain, Matt,” she stumbled out. “I mean, it just sort of happened, I felt these feelings coming on...”

“You expect me to believe...” Matthew tried to stop her.

“No, I mean, I guess so,” Deborah haltingly answered. “I mean, well, he...I tried to stop it, to stay away from him, but...”

“He can be very convincing, I know,” Matthew relented. He looked at this girl he had started to care for, had felt things he hadn't felt for awhile, had had hopes that something could turn into more. And then he said, “Just be careful there, I guess.”

“What do you mean? How?”

“Just that,” he sought words to explain. “He runs hot and cold, that one.”

“How so?” Deborah insisted on knowing.

“I can't explain, I mean, make you see,” Matthew answered. “But, you'll find out.”

Deborah looked at him, her eyes scowled. Inward Matthew cringed at this look of disapproval from a girl he had thought of as more than a friend. Like a young twenty-something he pushed those feelings away and blurted out in angrily, “Just go, all right?”

Deborah's face fell, crestfallen, lonely and Matthew's heart broke, but he squared his shoulders and crossed his arms, leaning against the back wall. She bit her lip.

“Matthew, I...I'm so sorry,” was all she could say and turned and hurriedly left the coffee shop before the tears could come in full.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BmErRm-vApI