Music For The Heart

Maybe its just me, but I feel like the popular songs of recent have made a major shift in evolving into a more positive feminist mindset.  Starting in the 80's with such singers as Debbie Gibson and Tiffany, to name a few, the songs appeared to be more focused on finding a guy which made one happy and feel whole, the opposite of which when the relationship ended, one's entire sense of self was shattered.

Only In My Dreams

Now, I must confess that despite the lack of feminine strength, I hold a strong liking for the work of the great, Debbie Gibson, mostly originating from freshman year of college, when my best friend and I would sit in my dorm room listening to a Gibson tape I had, in between the times we drank a 40 and watched Sesame Street.  But, however, I do recognize now the heartbreak and loss of identity in losing one's relationship.  In addition, look at the songs like "Total Eclipse of the Heart" where the female singer croons over the blinding loss of her guy, who offers her hope if she would just "turn around".  Meanwhile, the majority of male singers wrote and performed songs with more of an overall significant message about life, spirituality, of sense of defining one's self, such as "Burning Down The House" by Talking Heads or "Losing My Religion" by REM.

Then, the 90's came, the time of my life where I came of age.  I remember listening to songs by artists like Jewel, Norah Jones, and Natalie Imbruglia.  Similarly, there were the so-called angry female singers such as Alanis Morissette, Tori Amos, and the like.  These women, talented in their own right, seemed all in their own way to perform songs, not only of heartbreak and loss, but with a slightly angry tone blaming the guy for leaving but still offering the idea of loss of self from their leaving.  Consider Jewel's song "Foolish Games" or even Natalie Imbruglia's famous hit, "Torn" as examples of this.  Even, Alanis Morrisette's "You Oughta Know" which seemed to have a sense of empowerment still had the lingering effects of "its all your fault that I feel this way" thus giving away a woman's sense of power, strength, and individuality.  Remember the "Spice Girls" who danced around scantily clad singing "If you want to be my lover" showing men how to be their boyfriend, in a mock empowering way.

Foolish Games

Meanwhile, the male singers of that era sang songs that typically tried to manipulate woman with the false hope of forever love, such as the Boys to Men, "I'll Make Love To You".  So while the girls were faithfully dedicating their hearts to the men, whether they were together or not (look at Whitney Houston's "I Will Always Love You") simultaneously giving up their power, men were using these same words as a ploy to sway woman.  Even more disturbing, there were some male singers and bands, such as Aerosmith who performed songs such as "Crazy" about girls who had gone bad through making the choice for their own individuality.  (I confess I loved that song and the music video of it.)

But, now when I listen to the radio today, there seems to be a shift in the subject matter of what female singers are crooning, the message they are trying to get out.  Anything from singing on topics connecting to political standpoints to talking about how a woman no longer needs a man to thrive.  Even more so, female singers are crooning about how men are chasing after them while they actively pursue their own calling.  Its the men, like Bruno Mars, singing about how they messed up and lost an amazing woman through their own fault.  Female singers like Jordin Sparks and Lady Gaga, among others, seem to reflect this shift, not only singing songs with a deeper sense of empowerment that fights against prejudice such as Gaga's "Born This Way":

Born This Way

But, also (and this one is particularly meaningful to me) Sparks sings power into a woman's decision to move away from an abusive relationship and seek healthy love and a successful life in her song, "Tattoo":

Tattoo

I don't know, maybe its just me, after all, that as I listen to these songs, my interest in them reflects my own evolution of feminism and empowerment, in not letting men and society as a whole define who I am as an individual.

In the end, I still love listening to the songs of my youth and of the present, no matter what the meaning.  As a singer myself, music has a way of getting into our soul, helping us to heal and find meaning for our current life situations.

So, readers, if you are out there, what do you think? How has the popular music of your life influenced your life, both positively and negatively? This inquiring mind wants to know!

For inspiration, I leave you with one of the greatest female recording artists of our time, the amazing
Madonna:

Madonna

Ain't I A Woman?

With the onslaught of the transgender movement, both in the public eye and in my personal life with many of my friends (of whom I fully support), I've been doing a lot of thinking about the nature of gender, traditional, societal, and natural.  I recently learned of a new term called "cis-gender".  Looking it up, I learned it was a term referring to one's understanding of self as pertaining to the gender they were born with, the sex they were given at birth.

In college, I had a lot of classes that touched on this, discussions about whether gender and sex are purely biological or that of roles enforced by society, or even both.  I've come to the conclusion of the latter, even with the openness of the trans-movement, mostly pertaining to who I am as a woman and a human being, where I fall into place in society and, more importantly, as a sense of understanding of myself.

I've fought long and hard with being a woman and wanting to assert myself in this world.  I've felt ashamed of my femininity in past, thinking that showing this part of me was somehow a sign of weakness.  Yet, I realized recently that this is what I am, I am 100% girl, naturally, spiritually, emotionally, mentally, and yet this no way takes away from my strength and abilities.  In fact, this adds to it.

I think an attack of feminism now comes in the idea that one cannot be a feminist if one falls into the categories of femininity enforced by society, or rather what we view as societal womanly roles and actions.  Yet, I feel completely comfortable and even whole dressing up, making myself pretty and girly.  I also feel completely comfortable in sweatpants, jeans, t-shirt, no make-up.

The point is, being a girly-girl in the exterior in no way takes away from my strength and ability to fight for women's rights inwardly.  In fact, being the way I am is another way I can help to bring equality for woman everywhere, by saying, I'm pretty and sexy, yes, but I also have brains, talent, a sense of humor and I'd rather use those to assert myself than anything else.

So, the answer to the question on the title is: Yes, I am a woman.  And proud.

So, to all of my women-kind out there, whether you are cis, or trans, or tomboy, love yourself, be proud of who you are both inside and out, because its in that way we make a difference, its in that way we fight inequality, continue the quest for gender equality, and, in fact, win.  By truly knowing ourselves and having pride in who we are, we finally win!

This PSA brought to you by Lia Rose Dugal, Inc.